The Modern Manager

Resilience is often framed as pushing through, staying positive, and powering past challenges.

But that version of resilience can backfire, especially for managers trying to support their teams. When leaders jump too quickly into problem-solving or positivity, they can unintentionally make people feel unheard, dismissed, or disconnected.

Fortunately, this week’s guest shares a more effective approach to building resilience, one that starts with acknowledging what people are actually experiencing and then guides them toward solutions.

Jay Abbasi is a leadership coach and former executive who helps individuals and organizations develop resilience, improve performance, and lead through challenges with greater awareness and intention.

In this conversation, we explore how to support resilience in others without falling into toxic positivity, practical coaching techniques that help people find their own solutions, and how to lead teams through difficult moments by creating space, trust, and honest dialogue.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(02:18) Rethinking resilience beyond “just pushing through.”
(05:46) Why positivity can sometimes make things worse
(09:12) The importance of acknowledging what people are experiencing
(12:34) Coaching instead of fixing: helping others find their own solutions
(16:08) Powerful coaching questions that shift perspective
(19:27) Asking permission before giving advice
(22:41) Creating psychological safety through active listening
(26:15) Supporting individuals without becoming their therapist
(29:38) Leading teams through uncertainty and difficult news
(32:56) [Extended Episode Only] Supporting team resilience in real time
(33:44) [Extended Episode Only] Why “I hear you” matters more than solutions
(36:44) [Extended Episode Only] Coaching techniques to unlock better thinking
(40:14) [Extended Episode Only] How to lead team conversations during tough moments

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YIXQtsAmWSuIXfl4ZDdfJ0INFUN2W5w8OA6yZrIC004/edit?usp=sharing 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 
Keep up with Jay Abbasi

- Connect with Jay on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/

- Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/

- Follow him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi

- Subscribe to his YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast

Guest Bonus: Free PDF: 7 Strategies To Build Unshakable Resilience 

This PDF offers guidance on how to support your own resilience.
To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.
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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#leadershipcommunication #peoplemanagement #managertips #emotionalintelligence #workplacecommunication #leadershipskills #coachingleadership#psychologicalsafety #teamleadership #resilienceatwork

Most managers assume burnout is caused by one thing: workload.

But in reality, burnout is rarely that simple. It’s usually the result of multiple hidden workplace dynamics that quietly drain energy over time long before anyone officially burns out.

In this episode, I break down six overlooked causes of burnout that show up in everyday leadership decisions, from false urgency and unfair treatment to relentless change, limited growth, and feeling undercompensated.

You’ll also learn how to recognize early warning signs of burnout, understand what’s really driving disengagement, and take simple, practical steps to prevent it from escalating.

By the end of this episode, you’ll see how burnout actually develops beneath the surface and what you can do as a manager to stop it before it spreads across your team.

Conversation Topics

(00:00) Why burnout is often misdiagnosed as just workload
(01:19) The difference between productive stress and destructive drain
(02:34) Cause #1: False urgency and constant crisis mode
(03:55) Cause #2: Unfair treatment and its ripple effect on trust
(05:36) Cause #3: Relentless change without explanation
(06:26) Cause #4: Excessive workload and lack of support
(07:07) Cause #5: Limited growth opportunities
(08:43) Cause #6: Feeling undercompensated
(10:01) Why burnout is usually a combination of multiple causes
(11:15) [EXTENDED ONLY] How to talk to team members about burnout risk.
(12:35) [EXTENDED ONLY] Difference between stress vs burnout progression.
(13:51)[EXTENDED ONLY]  How to intervene early and prevent escalation.

📚 Additional Resources

✨ Read the transcript:  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a0E7D-LtllycG5WsQqnUkCGLdrfP_iXHln44vO1pUPE/edit?usp=sharing 

✨ Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨ Visit my website for more:
https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨ Level up your skills:
https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!
#LeadershipDevelopment #ManagementSkills #BurnoutPrevention #WorkplaceCulture #TeamLeadership #EmployeeEngagement #PeopleManagement #LeadershipTips #HighPerformanceTeams #WorkLifeBalance #EmotionalIntelligence #ModernLeadership #TheModernManager

Toxic workplaces come in many different forms that we might not always notice. 

And because we aren’t all affected in the same ways, even the most well-meaning managers can unintentionally contribute to an unhealthy culture if they aren't paying close attention. 

Aoife O’Brien is an organizational psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Thriving Talent. Her work focuses on helping organizations create environments where people feel psychologically safe, aligned to meaningful work, and able to perform at their best.

In this conversation, we explore what actually makes a workplace toxic, practical ways to spot the early warning signs of an unhealthy culture, and clear, everyday actions you can take to foster trust, respect, and psychological safety. Because culture is something you create moment by moment, not something you merely declare.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(02:21) Types of Toxic Workplaces (and How They Develop)
(06:17) Why Toxic Cultures Persist and How to Start Changing Them
(10:06) A Framework for Building Thriving Workplaces
(13:17) Fostering Psychological Safety at Every Level
(17:58) Understanding What Actually Drives People at Work
(21:05) Meeting Individual Needs
(25:54) One Thing Managers Can Do Tomorrow
(28:12) Closing Thoughts and Book Recommendations
(31:04) [Extended Only] Gaining Awareness of Your Strengths
(34:07) [Extended Only] Managing Conflicting Strengths on Teams
(37:35) [Extended Only] Structuring Collaboration So Different Strengths Shine

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q9HGJ3_EkaabC5ZzePq86WUmejsVGJU-KpUjRNzuhT0/edit?usp=sharing 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 
Keep up with Aoife O’Brien 

- Connect with Aoife on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien

- Follow Happier at Work on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/happieratworkpodcast

- Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie

- Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HappieratWorkHQ

- Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@happieratwork

Guest Bonus: 10% Off Thriving Talent Book

In Thriving Talent, Aoife O’Brien challenges the idea that engagement and performance are trade-offs. Instead, she shows leaders how to create environments where people feel psychologically safe, aligned to meaningful work, and able to use their strengths every day. 

Blending research with practical tools, the book introduces a clear framework for building cultures that drive performance, engagement, and retention without relying on perks or pressure.
To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#teamdynamics #teamperformance #conflic #teamalignment #highperformingteams #workplacefriction #collaborationatwork #leadingteams #peoplemanagement #howteamswork

You’re stuck between two options, going back and forth, trying to figure out the “right” choice. Should you hire or not? Change systems or stay the same? Restructure or keep things as they are? The more you think about it, the more stuck you feel.

It’s easy to assume the answer is hidden somewhere between those two choices, but often, that’s the real problem. You’re treating a complex decision as if it only has two possible paths.

In this quick lesson, I share five practical strategies to help you break out of binary thinking and expand your options. 

By the end of this lesson, you’ll know how to approach decisions more creatively, uncover better solutions, and move forward with greater confidence, without feeling stuck between “either” and “or.”

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Why either-or thinking keeps you stuck in tough decisions
(00:59) How binary thinking limits better, more creative solutions
(01:30) Strategy 1: Generate “options within options” to expand your choices
(03:03) Strategy 2: Challenge the assumptions behind your choices
(03:58) Strategy 3: Sequence decisions instead of treating them as permanent
(04:20) [Extended Episode] Strategy 4: Create hybrid solutions that combine the best of both options
(04:44) [Extended Episode] Strategy 5: Reframe decisions from different stakeholder perspectives
(05:20) How to recognize when you’re stuck in either-or thinking
(05:40) Your challenge: Apply one strategy to a current decision
(06:00) Why better decisions come from expanding, not narrowing, your options

📚 Additional Resources
✨ Read the transcript:  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CqY5XO5bUVxKGO8gxqEneN4DtYWGOoVykBuwYM6C1K4/edit?usp=sharing 

✨ Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨ Visit my website for more:
https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨ Level up your skills:
https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!

#LeadershipDevelopment #ManagementSkills #DecisionMaking #ProblemSolving #StrategicThinking #LeadershipSkills #ManagerMindset #WorkplaceSuccess #ProfessionalGrowth #CriticalThinking #LeadershipHabits #TheModernManager

We often think our reactions at work are about what’s happening in the moment: a frustrating colleague, a difficult conversation, or a stressful situation.

But what if those reactions are actually coming from somewhere else?

For many managers, moments of irritation, defensiveness, or emotional overwhelm can feel confusing or even unprofessional. But these responses aren’t random and they’re not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Fortunately, this week’s guest explains how our past experiences shape our present-day interactions and how developing self-awareness can help us respond more thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.

Nidhi Tewari is a therapist and leadership expert who helps individuals and organizations build emotional intelligence, navigate interpersonal dynamics, and create healthier, more connected workplaces.

In this conversation, we explore why certain people trigger us, how to recognize when your reaction is disproportionate to the moment, and a simple framework you can use to regulate your emotions and lead more effectively. We also discuss how to support team members through difficult moments without crossing the line into becoming their therapist.

Conversation Topics
(00:00) Introduction
(01:41) The Science of Attunement: How We Sync With Others
(03:38) Body Language, Energy, and Emotional Contagion
(05:11) Attuning to Organizational Culture and Unspoken Norms
(06:37) Case Study: Supporting Neurodivergent Teams
(08:28) The CHECK-IN Framework for Difficult Conversations
(13:32) Attunement in Remote Work: What Changes
(15:56) Spotting Behavioral Shifts and Subtle Signals
(17:18) Connection Gaps: Why Conversations Break Down
(23:27) From Fixer to Explorer + A Story of Great Leadership
(32:41) [Extended Episode Only] How to support employees while maintaining boundaries
(36:52) [Extended Episode Only] The importance of normalizing and validating emotions
(39:21) [Extended Episode Only] The right way to refer employees to additional support

📚 Additional Resources:

✨ Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ewlJYvzfKfIScl9mrdHqd61HTW_TuSJKoJGRGse6qEs/edit?usp=sharing 
 
✨Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ 

✨Visit my website for more: https://www.mamieks.com/ 

✨Upskill your team: https://themodernmanager.com/replaybundle 

✨Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1 

Keep up with Nidhi Tewari
- Follow Nidhi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nidhitewarilcsw/?hl=en
- Visit her website: https://www.nidhitewari.com
- Check out her book Working Well: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/788782/working-well-by-nidhi-tewari-msw-lcsw-foreword-by-amy-cuddy/

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you won’t miss an episode!