Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Did you know we release a My Virtual Mentor episode once a month? Each one is designed to help you grow and then process what you’re learning with a mentor or trusted friend who’s a season ahead of you.
This month’s conversation is one every family needs, but many couples struggle to live out. I’m joined by Ashley Willis, speaker, author, and co-host of The Naked Marriage Podcast, to talk about prioritizing your marriage while raising kids.
We all say our marriage comes first, but actually living that way takes intentionality. Ashley shares honest encouragement and practical wisdom for couples who feel stretched thin—and especially for those who may be losing hope. Don’t miss her practical advice at the end.
If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes:

My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments
My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity 
My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating Margin
My Virtual Mentor: Identity in Christ (Part 1 and Part 2)

00:00 Introduction 
05:56 Practical Tips for Prioritizing Marriage
08:52 The Role of Counseling in Marriage
11:57 Building a Supportive Community
15:41 Navigating Hard Seasons in Marriage
20:52 The Role of Intimacy in Marriage
24:45 Encouragement for Struggling Moms
27:27 Witnessing God's Miracles in Marriage
31:21 Closing Thoughts and Prayer

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (MARRIAGE)

Scripture to memorize:
Colossians 3:13-14
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Scriptures for prayer and study:
Romans 12:3, I Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:1-5, Proverbs 5:15-19

Books for further study:
Do Marriage Better with – Ashley Willis
Us In Mind – Ted Lowe
Marriage – Paul David Tripp
You and Me Forever – Francis and Lisa Chan

Discussion questions:
What is the most rewarding part of being married?
What is the most challenging part of being married?
What are your prayers for your marriage?
What is God nudging you to focus on - how you can improve your role in marriage?

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:
Connect with Ashley
XO Marriage
Naked Marriage Podcast 
Married Into the Family - book by Ashley Willis
Do Marriage Better - Ashley and Dave’s latest book
Resources from Titus 2 Mentoring
Sign up for Morning Minute
Christian Parenting
Open a LearningRX center
The Hunt for the Kraken

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)
In Mark 3:17 we learn that Jesus gave his disciple John and his brother James the nickname “sons of thunder.” There was probably a good reason for that nickname, likely their enthusiastic and passionate faith. But interestingly, John later refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23). So why the change? It seems a little odd and not quite the humility that Christ calls us to.
John had a close relationship with Jesus. Through all his experiences with Jesus, all the miracles he witnessed and lessons he was taught, John truly knew he was loved by Jesus. John spent so much time with Jesus that he was changed from a thunderous man of faith to one who was immersed in perfect love.
God’s love leaves a permanent mark. Even when life is hard, we can be confident that God’s love is real, constant, and personal. His love isn’t just something we read about in the Bible or hear about at church; it’s something that we can experience every single day. We want our kids to walk so closely with God that they are changed from the inside out—soft yet emboldened, gentle yet confident. And we want our kids to stand firm in their faith, knowing that God truly, perfectly loves them.
Let’s pray that our kids know how much God loves them and are transformed because of that love.
Jesus, thank you for loving us perfectly. Help __________ know that you love them and are there for them. Give them a heart to follow you and remind them that they can rely on your love. As they grow in faith, may they spend so much time with you that they change and become like you. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood. In this episode, Ashlee Gadd shares how moms can rediscover their creativity and passions—even in the chaos of raising kids.
We talk about embracing the truth that we’re all creative, making space for joy in every season, and why hospitality doesn’t have to be perfect to matter.
Ashlee’s new book, You’re in Good Company, explores friendship, motherhood, and showing up for one another. I hope this conversation encourages you to carve out a little margin for what brings you life.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction
04:00 The Nature of Creativity in Motherhood
08:12 The Importance of Modeling Creativity
11:34 Finding Connection with Growing Children
18:11 The Impact of Intentional Gifts
21:01 Navigating Creative Identity as a Mother
27:21 Embracing New Seasons of Motherhood
29:19 The Importance of Self-Care in Creativity

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

ORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOW

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Ashlee
Coffee and Crumbs
You’re In Good Company (pre-order her new book)
Create Anyway (recent book on motherhood and creativity)
Sign up for Morning Minute
Christian Parenting
Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Have you ever felt busy all day long but still wondered if any of it really mattered?
This week’s episode is a little different and so special. I’m sharing a conversation from another Christian Parenting podcast, Pardon the Mess, hosted by the wonderful Courtney DeFeo. I first heard her interview with Elaine Franklin years ago, and honestly, it stuck with me in such a meaningful way. So when I saw them sit down together again, I knew I had to share it with you.
This conversation is all about time, but not in the way you might expect. It’s not about doing more or getting more organized. It’s about living with intention, clarity, and peace in the middle of full lives.
Here are four takeaways that really stood out:
Why understanding your circle of care vs. circle of responsibility can completely shift how you spend your time
The importance of defining your purpose and mission before building your schedule
How margin isn’t lazy, it’s protective for your faith, your family, and your well-being
Why creating a “to stop” list might be the most freeing productivity tool you’ve never tried

This episode is packed with practical wisdom, but more than that, it’s an invitation to step out of the hustle and into a more thoughtful, life-giving rhythm. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or a little out of alignment, I think this one will really meet you right where you are.

Elaine Franklin is a speaker, coach, and author who helps individuals and families align their time and priorities with their God-given purpose. Through her teaching, she offers practical and biblical tools for creating margin, setting healthy boundaries, and living with intention in every season of life.

Resources Mentioned
Sign up for Morning Minute
Christian Parenting
Open a LearningRX center

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

The Christian Parenting Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Our Sponsors:
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Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)
Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Jewish ruling council. He knew the Scriptures better than anyone. And still, people were talking about Jesus’s teachings and miracles and Nicodemus wanted to know more, so he went to Jesus in the night and asked him questions.
Nicodemus asking questions led to Jesus explaining one of the most important parts of the Christian faith—why Jesus came and what it takes to truly follow him and enter his kingdom. Jesus explained that to be saved, a person has to be born again.
Nicodemus had all the answers on paper, but he must have known something was missing in his heart, and he sought out Jesus to find out what. We should be curious about our faith too. Questions about faith do not have to be scary—they can be viewed as an opportunity to learn more about the heart of God.
We want our kids to make their faith their own because a personal, deeply rooted faith is more likely to transform them. An inherited faith is more likely to fall apart when things fall apart. Asking questions is part of the process of maturing spiritually and making faith their own, so we should encourage it!
This week, let’s pray that our kids seek after Jesus and ask the right questions to make their faith their own.
Jesus, thank you for answering our prayers and our questions. When __________ has questions, may they always come to you, knowing you will answer them and that you care for them. Help them to grow strong and confident in their own faith. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. 

Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy