Lights On with Carl Lentz

In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Blaine Bartell for round two of a conversation that sparked hundreds of messages from pastors in secret crisis. Blaine, a former megachurch pastor who led one of America's largest youth ministries, reveals the unspoken rule destroying leaders from the inside: "Thou shalt not get caught." For the first time, he shares the shocking moment when a well-known pastor looked him in the eye after his exposure and said, "You know what the difference is between you and me? You got caught." They dive deep into a buried Focus on the Family study revealing 68% of pastors struggle with porn, why that number is likely closer to 85% today, and why the church has created a system that disciplines men into secrecy rather than healing. From the identity shift that finally broke his 23-year addiction to why porn is never the real problem, this conversation exposes the epidemic nobody in church will talk about. Whether you're a pastor hiding in plain sight, a man who can't break free no matter how hard you try, or someone who loves a person trapped in secret shame, this episode offers a roadmap to the freedom of having nothing left to hide.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Blaine at: https://blainebartell.com/Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.comSupported by Plana - https://plana.org/CHAPTERS:00:00 - INTRO: "Thou Shalt Not Get Caught"01:08 - Blaine's Story: 23 Years of Secret Addiction Behind Ministry Success05:10 - Good Friday 2010: The Day Everything Was Exposed09:50 - "You Got Caught. I Didn't." — What a Megachurch Pastor Told Him14:52 - The Buried Study: Focus on the Family Found 68% of Pastors Struggle20:26 - "When We Punish Honesty, We Disciple Secrecy"23:45 - God Behind Bars Partnership25:33 - How Jesus Restored Peter: Breakfast, Relationship, Mission32:54 - Stop Raking Leaves: Why Porn Isn't the Real Problem36:55 - "I Am a Beloved Son" — The 6 Words That Changed Everything38:17 - Plana Partnership41:10 - The New Pornography: DMs, Text Threads, and What Pastors Hide47:07 - The Greatest Gift: Going to Sleep Without Secrets56:16 - 4 Steps to Freedom and Sacred RitualsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] this raw episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with his 21-year-old daughter Ava for the conversation most dads are too afraid to have. What does my daughter actually need from me? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about strength, protection, and what it actually takes to lead your daughter well.Drawing from their own journey of rebuilding after public failure, Carl and Ava expose an uncomfortable truth. Your daughter's inner world is far deeper than you realize. And two things can be true at once. A dad can be trying his best AND his daughter can be starving for real connection.Ava shares what she needed most as a little girl but never said, including the moments Carl's "strength" actually created fear instead of safety. Carl delivers the perspective most dads never hear. What it is actually like to let your daughter see you broken, and why that vulnerability became the foundation of their relationship today.From the power of the words that follow "you are" to why your best parenting will feel like friction in the moment, to the question every dad should ask his daughter, this episode delivers practical truths for fathers who want to stop performing and start connecting.This episode will challenge any dad who believes he needs to have it all figured out.Follow Carl at https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Ava at https://www.instagram.com/avaangellentz/Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.comCHAPTERS 00:00 The Conversation Most Dads Avoid02:40 This Is Not Pressure It Is Presence 05:18 What Ava Needed Most As A Little Girl 10:07 Why Vulnerability Made Them Closer 14:37 God Behind Bars Partnership 16:02 The Worst Advice Dads Receive 19:26 Your Words Become Her Inner Voice 22:00 The Dad Mistake That Creates Fear Not Safety 25:00 When Trust Is Crushed Daughters Need Honesty 29:50 Confrontation Is Not The Enemy Of Connection 31:01 Truth 1 Her Inner World Is Deeper Than You Know 34:24 Plana Partnership 36:22 Truth 2 Your Best Parenting Feels Like Friction 38:59 Truth 3 Humanity Strengthens Leadership 43:26 Truth 4 The Power Of You Are 45:07 Truth 5 Legacy Should Always Be Growing 46:59 What Daughters Wish Their Dads Would Ask 49:49 Final Words For Dads Ready To Lead Differently 54:06 Whatever You Avoid Controls YouSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the conversation most couples recovering from betrayal are too afraid to have. What do we do about sex? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about protection, connection, and what it actually takes to rebuild.Drawing from five years of rebuilding their own marriage, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth. Intimacy is not a reward system. It is a connection system. And two things can be true at once. A betrayed wife can be protecting herself AND the relationship can be starving for connection.Laura shares why she chose to pursue intimacy with Carl despite the trauma, including the moment she shook so badly he had to leave the room. Carl delivers the perspective most men never hear. What it is actually like to rebuild your sexuality without any hope of intimacy at home, and why white-knuckling is not recovery.From the Gottman framework of Atone, Attune, Attach, to the 5-level ladder for rebuilding physical connection, to why compliance is not intimacy and consent is, this episode delivers practical frameworks for couples who want to stop avoiding the hardest conversation in recovery.This episode will challenge any couple who believes removing intimacy has no cost.---Follow Carl at https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/---Supported by Plana https://plana.org/Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com---CHAPTERS00:00 The Conversation Betrayed Couples Avoid02:40 This Is Not Pressure It Is Options05:18 What Recovery Actually Looks Like For The Man10:07 Why Laura Chose Intimacy Despite The Trauma14:37 God Behind Bars Partnership16:02 The Worst Christian Advice Women Receive19:26 The Science Of Bonding Stress And Well-Being22:00 The Best Way To Stop Fighting25:00 When Trust Is Crushed Couples Need Reconnection29:50 Healthy Sex Is Not A Replacement For Recovery31:01 The Gottman Framework Atone Attune Attach34:24 Plana Partnership36:22 Attunement Tuning The Guitar Before You Play38:59 Non-Sexual Affection And The 5 Levels43:26 Relearning Touch With No Goal And No Pressure45:07 Erotic Connection Only When Both Can Say Yes46:59 Weapon Reward Or Reconnection Which Are You Using49:49 Final Reminders For Couples Rebuilding54:06 Whatever You Avoid Controls YouSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the question every couple secretly asks during the holidays: "Is this hard because we're healing—or hard because something is broken?" The answer will challenge everything you think you know about keeping the peace in your marriage.Drawing from five years of rebuilding their own marriage, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: the betrayed who obsesses and the betrayer who avoids are both destroying the peace faster than the affair ever could.Laura shares why she had to stop being the "peace keeper" in her marriage and become a "clarity seeker"—even when it was messy. Carl delivers the challenge most men avoid: If you want your wife to trust you again, stop waiting for her to calm down before you get honest. An honest man tells on himself.From the difference between "clearing things up" and "letting things go," to why resentment accumulation destroys more marriages than the original betrayal, to their personal story of surviving Carl's rehab during Christmas with three kids—this episode delivers practical frameworks you can use today.This episode will challenge any couple who believes avoiding hard conversations is how you keep the peace.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Supported by Plana https://plana.org/Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com CHAPTERS:00:00 - If You Dread The Holidays, This Is For You01:57 - The Stats: 64% Depression Increase + 300% Conflict Amplification04:32 - Carl In Rehab On Christmas: How We Survived08:24 - The "Keep The Peace" Trap11:33 - Peace Is NOT The Absence Of Conflict14:53 - The 24-Hour Repair Rule (The #1 Marriage Predictor)18:28 - Clear Some Things Up: The Framework22:16 - Repair Attempts Within 24 Hours25:02 - Vulnerable Ownership Lowers Defenses In 90 Seconds28:09 - How To Bring Up An Issue Without Attacking31:44 - Plana Partnership32:10 - Clear Up The Rules Of Engagement34:43 - The Power Of Short Accounts38:59 - Let Some Things Go: Celebrating What Annoys You40:14 - Laura's 4 Annoying Things About Carl44:00 - Carl's 5 Annoying Things About Laura49:07 - What Can You Let Go Of Today?53:16 - Final Questions Before The Holidays EndSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I visited Angola Prison, one of America's largest maximum security facilities, and what I witnessed broke me in the best way possible. This is Yogi. He's serving 65 years. He might be the freest man I've ever met.I went with my friend Jake Bodin from God Behind Bars to experience the first-ever daddy-daughter dance inside a maximum security prison. Men serving 40 years to life, some who hadn't hugged their daughters in decades, slow dancing with their little girls.I wasn't ready.We walked through death row. We talked to men who will never leave. And what I found wasn't despair. It was faith, peace, and freedom I've rarely seen outside these walls.Yogi got denied parole after doing everything right for 25 years. His response? "Maybe it's for one more."One more person to reach. One more life to change.This episode will challenge how you think about freedom, faith, gratitude, and what it really means to be stuck.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/—// SUPPORT GOD BEHIND BARS: https://godbehindbarsnow.com__🙏 PRAY FOR YOGIHe's been incarcerated for 25 years and leads men spiritually every single day at Angola. Add him to your prayer list.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.