Lights On with Carl Lentz

• Back In Church Space 5 Years After Everything Fell Apart

  What happens when one of the most influential pastors in America falls from grace? And what does redemption look like on the other side of scandal?As lead pastor of Hillsong Church NYC, I preached to thousands every Sunday, counseled celebrities and athletes, and became the face of a new generation of church leadership. Then, in November 2020, everything came crashing down.I was fired from Hillsong Church following revelations of moral failures and breaches of trust. What followed was a media firestorm—tabloid headlines, public shame, and the dismantling of everything I'd built over two decades of ministry. My marriage was on the brink. My reputation was destroyed. My calling was questioned.But this isn't just a story about a fall. It's a story about what comes after.In this conversation, I'm sitting down with my wife Laura, and our friends Mike and Natalie Todd from Transformation Church, to talk about everything. The scandal. The restoration process. The accountability. The pain our family endured. The friends who stayed. The critics who won't forgive. And the biggest question: Should I return to ministry?We're not avoiding the hard questions. We're talking about disqualification, forgiveness, celebrity pastor culture, what real restoration looks like, and whether someone who failed publicly can lead again. This is raw, unfiltered, and honest.Whether you believe in second chances or think some lines can't be uncrossed, this conversation matters. Because at the end of the day, we all mess up. The question is: what happens next?——Featuring:Mike Todd https://instagram.com/iammiketoddNatalie Todd https://instagram.com/natalietoddCarl Lentz https://instagram.com/carllentz Laura Lentz https://instagram.com/lauralentz—Chapters:00:00 - Introduction: First Time on Stage in 5 Years 04:10 - The Importance of Friends in the Fire 09:03 - The Night Everything Changed 14:30 - Why Mike & Natalie Stepped In When Everyone Else Left 24:20 - Laura Speaks: Walking Through Public Scandal 32:40 - The Biggest Mistakes We Made & What We'd Change 37:10 - How We Rebuilt Our Marriage After Everything Fell Apart 41:25 - The Celebrity Pastor Problem Nobody Talks About 45:30 - Lessons From the Fire: What We Learned in the Darkness 49:15 - Don't Wait Until Everything's Burning Down 52:56 - Be the Church Outside the Building 54:33 - When Friends Saved Mike: The Spit Hit the Fan Story 58:23 - Final Prayer: Friends Who Step Into the Fire—A huge thank you to Mike and Natalie Todd for creating the space for this conversation.Their friendship, grace, and willingness to step into the fire with us has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives. This is what real friendship looks like.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• 24-Year-Old Woman Built The Answer To Unplanned Pregnancy

  Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]!In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz sit down with 24-year-old Phoebe Enterman, founder of Plana - the app that's quietly solving America's adoption crisis. Moving from Brisbane, Australia to Las Vegas with nothing but conviction, Phoebe reveals the shocking truth: while 2 million couples desperately wait to adopt, less than 1% of unplanned pregnancies result in adoption. She exposes how both Planned Parenthood's structure and the pro-life movement's judgment have failed women who need real help, not politics.Laura and Phoebe dive deep into the reality facing women with unplanned pregnancies - from the 65% of Christian women who hide pregnancies from their church out of fear, to the Harvard study showing 80% of women reconsider abortion when fathers stay present. They demolish the myth that adoption isn't chosen due to lack of families (there are 36 waiting families for every adoptable infant) and reveal the real problem: women don't know adoption is even an option in the digital age.From Phoebe's personal story of why her grandmother's teenage pregnancy drives her mission, to Carl's explosive take on Christians who picket abortion clinics but won't pay a single mother's rent, this conversation transcends the tired abortion debate. They unveil how Plana's beautiful, wellness-focused app is replacing crisis-branded shame with actual solutions - connecting women to families, resources, education, and support all in one place.Warning: This episode challenges both pro-life advocates who stop caring after birth and pro-choice supporters who only offer one choice. If you're more invested in your political stance than actually helping women and babies, this conversation will make you uncomfortable.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/CHAPTERS:00:00 - Opening: Beyond Politics to Real Solutions04:20 - Meet Phoebe: Why a 24-Year-Old Left Australia for This Mission08:26 - The Personal Story Behind Plana12:07 - Carl's "What's Your Name?" Moment on The View15:36 - Inside an Unplanned Pregnancy: What Women Really Face22:51 - The Church Problem: 65% Hide in Shame27:05 - The Adoption Mystery: Less Than 1% When Millions Wait32:16 - Why Adoption Lost to Better Marketing38:59 - How Plana Works: The App Tour43:15 - Planned Parenthood's Business Model vs. Plana's Approach48:33 - The Father Factor: 80% Reconsider When Men Stay52:40 - A Call to Churches: Beyond Voting to Action57:14 - How to Support: The $9 MovementSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• My Husband's Mother Helped Him Cheat - Here's What I Did

  When your husband's family enables his affair and makes you the villain, the betrayal cuts twice as deep. In this raw and essential episode, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle one of the most painful questions they've received: what do you do when your in-laws collude with the affair partner, feed them information, and blame you for the infidelity? Drawing from their own experience of distancing from family during recovery and counseling countless couples through ministry betrayal, they reveal why you don't owe anyone access to you during healing, how to take control of your narrative when everyone's telling a different story, and the exact boundaries you need to protect your recovery. Laura opens up about why they separated from Carl's family (not due to collusion, but for space to make decisions without outside opinions), while Carl exposes the insane pressure to control narratives in ministry contexts. They break down the brutal truth: if you're trying to help your in-laws grieve while you're still bleeding from betrayal, you're abandoning yourself. From wives being vilified by their husband's entire family to mothers developing relationships with affair partners, this conversation reveals why collusion is so common in ministry marriages and what to do about it. Plus: why Christian couples should stop being embarrassed about sex therapy, the difference between "fine" and "thrilling" intimacy, and how religious trauma keeps couples from having honest conversations about their sex lives. Whether you're the betrayed spouse dealing with toxic in-laws, trying to figure out if you should cut off family members who enabled infidelity, or wondering how to heal when everyone's against you, this episode gives you permission to disconnect from false narratives and reconnect with who you really are. Warning: This conversation challenges the evangelical pressure to "keep the peace" with family at all costs and may trigger those who've built their identity on being the peacemaker instead of protecting their own healing.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/CHAPTERS:00:00:00 - Lights On: Introduction and Birthday Banter00:02:22 - Sex Therapy for Christian Couples: Breaking the Taboo00:08:34 - Letters from Our Readers Introduction00:09:31 - Today's Topics: Family Collusion After Infidelity00:09:55 - Defining Collusion: What It Means00:11:05 - Reading the Listener Letter: Mother-in-Law Enabled the Affair00:13:18 - Laura's Story: Why We Distanced from Carl's Family00:14:28 - Ministry Betrayal: Narrative Control is Insane00:19:40 - Step 1: Change Your Position - You Don't Owe Anyone Access00:20:20 - Forgiveness Does Not Mean Friendship00:21:14 - Secure Safety First Before Any Reintegration00:22:39 - Require Full Disclosure, Not Drip Disclosure00:26:24 - You Get to Define All the Relationships00:27:18 - Family Boundary Contract with Clear Repair Requirements00:33:36 - Picking the Right Therapist: Why Betrayal Trauma Specialists Matter00:35:56 - Step 4: Your Husband Needs to Step Up and Set the Story Straight00:37:01 - When a Man Gets Married, He Starts His Own Family00:39:27 - Protecting Your Children: Who Gets to Tell Them What Happened00:42:16 - Integrity Example: The Phone Call Story00:43:54 - Disconnecting from False Narratives About Yourself00:45:15 - Final Thoughts: Take Control Back One Step at a TimeSponsors:Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/LIGHTS #rulapodDripDrop is offering podcast listeners 20% off your first order! Go to dripdrop.com and use promo code LIGHTS. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• Mental Obesity: Stop Filling Your Mind With Things You Don't Need

  In this urgent wake-up call, Carl and Laura Lentz expose the silent epidemic destroying modern life: consumption addiction. Drawing from their own dramatic reconstruction after public crisis and counseling countless people stuck in endless scrolling, they reveal why being the last to know current events is actually a power move, how "mental obesity" is filling your mind with garbage you don't need, and why your brain's unemployment is forcing it to find the worst possible jobs. Carl shares why he lost an hour to a Nicholas Cage conspiracy theory and immediately knew something was wrong, while Laura opens up about blocking all consumption just to survive her darkest season. They break down the brutal truth: if you're busy consuming, you're avoiding creating your actual life. From couples escaping each other through ESPN and Pinterest to parents teaching their kids that presence means distraction, this episode exposes why creation is the only path to peace. They reveal the frame that changed everything: remove 30% of what you consume and watch your life transform. Whether you're a Karen policing hiking trails because you have nothing else going on, a virtue signaler who cares about issues for exactly one post, or someone comparing your life to people you don't even like, this conversation reveals why that phone in your hand might be the very thing keeping you stuck. Warning: This episode challenges the cultural addiction to having opinions on everything and may trigger those who've built their entire identity on commentary instead of creation.----Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/----CHAPTERS:00:00 - The Quiet Revolution: Creation Over Consumption01:42 - Why We're Always the Last to Know03:04 - Mental Obesity Is Real04:45 - Give Your Brain a Job or It Finds the Worst One08:01 - Sobriety Isn't the Goal, Building Life Is10:44 - Why Successful People Never Know What's Happening13:19 - The Orchestra Story: Build Something Undeniable15:01 - When Your Hands Are Free, Your Mind Fills It18:29 - 77% of You Are Consuming Passively21:08 - Identity Shift: Stop Being Who You Observe24:57 - The IKEA Effect and Creation Reward27:52 - Three Signs You're Over-Consuming31:43 - Nobody Doing Better Than You Will Hate You34:45 - Create Before You Consume Rule37:27 - The Parent Phone Problem40:03 - Collaborate With Your Spouse on Something Creative42:43 - Carl's Rehab Painting BreakdownSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• Why Most People Can’t Heal After Betrayal (And How To Change That)

  In this crucial episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz provide a survival guide for women navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Drawing from their reconstruction journey and counseling hundreds of couples, they reveal the six essential steps every betrayed spouse needs to take immediately after discovering infidelity. Laura shares her own early choices - from refusing to weaponize shame despite having every right to, to her intensive identity work at OnSite that revealed she'd lost herself long before the affair. They expose the dangerous trap of trying to police your spouse's recovery while ignoring your own healing, why poorly trained therapists can do more harm than good, and the power move of creating firm boundaries with real consequences. From why separation isn't punishment but protection for your nervous system, to the surprising statistic that shame-based communication cuts reconciliation rates by 50%, this episode is required listening for any woman asking "What now?" after betrayal. Whether you're deciding to stay or go, these six steps ensure you're making that choice from strength, not trauma. Warning: This episode challenges the common advice to "just forgive and move on" and may trigger those invested in remaining victims of their circumstances.----Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/----Supported by God Behind Barshttps://godbehindbars.comSupported by Planahttps://plana.org/----CHAPTERS:00:00 - What Every Betrayed Woman Needs To Know01:10 - Our Email: [email protected]:12 - What She CAN'T Do (Stop Being A Shame Dealer)05:22 - "Shame Corrodes The Part That Believes We Can Change"08:06 - Why Shame Cuts Recovery Success By 50%09:56 - Step 1: Get The RIGHT Therapist (Not All Are Equal)11:12 - Warning: Bad Therapists Can Make Things Worse16:45 - God Behind Bars Partnership17:23 - Step 2: Create Separation For Your Nervous System19:30 - "Safety Must Precede Intimacy"22:51 - Step 3: Clear Expectations & Boundaries27:26 - Step 4: Be Firm On Consequences33:22 - Step 5: Invite Trusted Eyes & Ears38:21 - Plana.org Partnership38:59 - Step 6: Work On Yourself (The Game-Changer)39:52 - "The Betrayed Partner Rebuilds Identity"42:30 - Your Action Plan: Tangible Next StepsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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