The Difference Between a Boundary and a Threat — Especially Around the Holidays
In this From the Couch session, Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish breaks down one of the biggest questions she gets during the holiday season: What’s the difference between a boundary and a threat?
If you’ve ever said, “I’m not hosting this year,” or “If you keep acting like that, we’re never coming over again,” this episode will help you understand why one creates peace and the other fuels conflict.Short, compassionate, and practical, this quick session gives you the language and mindset to protect your peace without guilt.
👉 Listen if you’re searching for:How to set boundaries with family kindlyThe difference between boundaries and threatsHoliday boundary settingHow to protect your peace without starting conflict
Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
--------
8:09
--------
8:09
Boundary or Threat? How to Set Limits Without Creating More Conflict—Especially With In-Laws
In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with her husband, Greg, to answer real, anonymous listener questions about mothers-in-law (MILs), in-law dynamics, holiday boundaries, and getting on the same page as a couple.
Drawing from her upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother (launching November 4), Dr. Tracy breaks down how to ask a partner to “take your side” (validation vs. action), set clear boundaries without disrespect, manage holiday expectations, and respond to subtle digs or manipulative comments—all while protecting the couple bond.
Listeners learn practical scripts and the VAULT Method (Values, Aspirations + nervous system awareness, Understanding, Longings, Taking Action) to move out of autopilot and into teamwork. Dr. Tracy and Greg cover fairness myths between families, FaceTime and visit expectations, nervous-system tools for dread and anxiety, how to avoid triangulation during sibling or extended-family conflict, and how to protect parenting choices (consent, food rules, body talk) with warmth and clarity. Whether someone is navigating mild tension or long-standing patterns, this episode offers research-informed, compassionate strategies to keep connection, repair, and co-created family traditions at the center—especially during the holidays.
Preorder my new book You, Your Husband, and His Mother and save your seat at my exclusive live coaching event!!
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Factor Meals: Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
--------
1:00:56
--------
1:00:56
How to Stop Being Defensive in Your Relationship: Couples Therapist Strategies for Better Communication
Defensiveness is one of the most common reasons couples get stuck in repetitive fights — but few people understand what’s actually driving it. In this episode, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explains the psychology of defensiveness, how shame and fear of rejection play a role, and the proven tools that help couples communicate without walls going up. Learn how to respond without reacting, build emotional safety, and start creating the kind of connection you really want.
Keywords: how to stop being defensive, couples communication skills, marriage advice podcast, defensiveness and shame, Gottman four horsemen, relationship repair, therapist tips for couples.
Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
--------
7:55
--------
7:55
When Family Boundaries Break: Understanding Estrangement and Healing Generational Patterns with Whitney Goodman
In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, part of the You, Your Husband, and His Mother book launch series, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with therapist and author Whitney Goodman to unpack one of the most misunderstood family experiences — estrangement.
Together, they explore why more people are creating distance from toxic or boundary-violating family members, what healthy families actually look like, and how this shift reflects a deeper desire for emotional safety and authenticity.
They discuss how social media, generational change, and unmet repair cycles contribute to breakdowns in family connection — and why choosing space can sometimes be an act of care, not cruelty.
This conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical guidance for anyone navigating complex family relationships, from mother-in-law dynamics to emotional cutoffs.
Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
--------
47:30
--------
47:30
The VIRAL Sherlocked Thread: From Victim to Main Character Energy And All About Boundaries
From The Couch - Short hits, hot topics.
The I_am_sherlocked phenomenon has taken over Threads — but what’s really drawing us in isn’t just her posts, it’s what they represent.
From The Couch, I explore why we’re so captivated by someone unapologetically setting boundaries and saying no without guilt. We’ll unpack what this viral moment reveals about women’s exhaustion, people-pleasing, and the deep longing to take up space—especially in family dynamics with in-laws.
RESOURCES:
Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Kiwico: Save 50% at kiwico.com and explore connection with your kids. Use code TRACY
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.
South Africa