Why Can’t I Fix This? Eight Steps to Move From Wishing to Planning When Your Child Struggles with Addiction, with Brenda Zane
ABOUT THE EPISODE:Your 3am Google search spiral feels beyond frustrating when you're usually the one with answers. In this week's solo episode I acknowledge the unique exhaustion of spinning your wheels while your child struggles, and offer a concrete 8-step menu of ways to move from wishing into actionable planning and hope. If your existing parenting toolkit isn't working to create positive change in your family this episode will offer ways to rethink and recharge. The best news is, when you change yourself, the rest of the family system cannot not change. And that's why we start with you.What you'll learn:The distinction between wishing vs. having real hope Hope Theory: agency + pathways = real hopeWhy even highly capable parents get stuckThe paralysis that comes from information overload without implementationThe paradox of excelling everywhere except with being able to help your childUsing research as sophisticated avoidanceEPISODE RESOURCES:8-Step downloadable template for creating your planHelping Families Help - Provider Directory for CRAFT-Trained Coaches and TherapistsParent Like a Hostage Negotiator Hopestream episode 295Apply for a scholarship for The Stream Community (for moms and female caregivers)This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
--------
45:58
--------
45:58
When Your Child Doesn't Believe They're Ill: Understanding Anosognosia and Mental Illness, with Dr. Xavier Amador
ABOUT THE EPISODE:When your child doesn't believe they need help, finding a path forward can feel nearly impossible and is exhausting in every way. Dr. Xavier Amador offers profound hope through his LEAP method—a neuroscience-backed approach born from both his clinical expertise and the raw reality of loving family members with schizophrenia.Dr. Amador's journey began with seven transformative days at his brother's side, where traditional confrontation failed spectacularly. His brother, brilliant yet trapped by anosognosia (the neurological inability to perceive one's own illness), couldn't recognize what everyone else could see. It wasn’t denial or stubbornness, but definitely looked like it. What Dr. Amador’s brother was suffering from is brain-based, affecting 50% of people with schizophrenia and 40% with bipolar disorder.The beauty of LEAP (Listen, Empathize, Agree, Partner) lies in its counterintuitive wisdom: stop trying to convince someone they're ill. Instead, build a relationship where trust flourishes despite fundamental disagreements about reality. Dr. Amador's approach honors the cognitive friction between what you see and what your child experiences, while creating emotional proximity that transcends the diagnosis.What you'll discover in this conversation: Why arguing about symptoms backfires—and the neurological reasons behind anosognosia How to implement LEAP strategies that preserve relationships when insight seems impossible (you’ll want to copy the actual words Dr. Amador provides!)Dr. Amador's personal breakthrough with his brother that changed everythingMedications available for psychiatric disorders including injectables and ones suitable for adolescentsWhy accepting their reality (without agreeing) opens doors that confrontation slams shutEven if your loved one never gains recognition of their mental illness, you can still cultivate connection, influence positive choices, and maintain your own emotional equilibrium. EPISODE RESOURCES:Dr. Amador’s websiteVideos for parentsThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
--------
44:55
--------
44:55
How to Stop Normalizing Dangerous Behavior When Your Child Struggles With Addiction and Mental Health, with Dina Cannizzaro
EPISODE DESCRIPTION:If you've ever found yourself tiptoeing through your own home, rehearsing conversations to avoid triggering an explosion, or even putting a lock on your bedroom door for protection—you're not alone. Today's conversation with Dina Cannizzaro, Hopestream's Director of Education, confronts the uncomfortable reality so many parents face: how profoundly we normalize dangerous situations when our child struggles with substances.Dina brings battle-tested wisdom from parenting her son Parker through nine years of IV heroin use (now nine years sober) and coaching hundreds of families through similar chaos. She shares the exact phrases that helped her reclaim emotional safety, the incremental boundary-setting approach that actually works, and why maintaining your sanctuary matters more than keeping an artificial peace.This episode offers concrete strategies for those moments when you realize you're living in cognitive friction—simultaneously loving someone while feeling unsafe around them. Dina's approach alchemizes tough love into something more nuanced: fierce protection of the relationship itself, not just the person.You'll learn:The exact phrase to use when verbal abuse erupts (and why repetition matters)How to distinguish between privacy and safety when deciding about bedroom locksWhy leaving your home during conflict might signal defeat—and what to do insteadThe incremental boundary approach that builds your confidence from dishwasher disputes to dealbreakersWhy confiscating substances from your teen's room isn't overstepping (it's parenting)The difference between emotional safety and physical safety—and why you deserve bothHow to humble yourself without sacrificing dignity after heated exchangesAs always when we get to have Dina on the podcast, it's a note-taking worthy hour you do not want to miss.EPISODE RESOURCES:Episode 138 with Dina: Creating Conditions For ChangeThe Chinese Farmer Hopestream episode 173 with Dina CannizzaroPartnership to End Addiction - free resources for families This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
--------
56:44
--------
56:44
Why Your Struggling Child Pushes You Away: The Attachment Connection, with Todd Sarner
ABOUT THE EPISODE:When a young person you love is struggling with substances or challenging behaviors, the instinct to fix everything can feel overwhelming. In this illuminating conversation, marriage and family therapist Todd Sarner brings decades of attachment science into sharp focus, and offers a roadmap for parents navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence. Drawing from his training with Dr. Gordon Neufeld and other attachment pioneers, Todd reveals why our kids' most hurtful behaviors often mask their deepest needs for connection. We explore the delicate dance between holding firm boundaries and maintaining compassion – what Todd beautifully describes as being both the "agent of futility" (clear limits) and the "angel of comfort" (empathy). We unpack why teenagers simultaneously push us away while desperately needing our presence, and how parents can invest in their own nervous systems to weather these storms.Perhaps most powerfully, Todd reminds us that attachment isn't about perfection – research shows secure relationships miss connection bids 50-60% of the time. It's about showing up consistently, even imperfectly, with the understanding that our love remains the most powerful intervention we have.You'll learn:Why sensitive kids often present as tough and disconnected – and how "defensive detachment" protects them from the pain of unmet connection needsThe critical difference between punishment and boundaries, and how to communicate limits while preserving relationshipHow to navigate the teenage paradox: their biological drive for independence colliding with their continued need for guidance and safetyPractical nervous system regulation techniques (including 4-7-8 breathing) that help parents stay grounded during explosive momentsWhy investing in your own self-care isn't selfish – it's essential preparation for holding space during your child's strugglesThe power of "bridging" – maintaining connection even through conflict, letting your child know that nothing can change your love for themEPISODE RESOURCES:Transformative Parenting websiteTodd’s InstagramThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
--------
1:04:36
--------
1:04:36
Think Like A Negotiator When Your Child Misuses Substances, with Cathy Cioth
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In this episode Cathy and I discuss unique skills from the business world that can be applied to our relationships - especially one with a struggling teen or young adult who is misusing substances and has mental health challenges. I share a surprising learning I picked up from reading a book about hostage negotiation (you may even be able to relate to that kind of situation) and we dig into why it’s important for parents not to take your child’s actions and behaviors too personally. We tie this all into the CRAFT approach (of course) and I give a first hand account of how skills like SURF communication can be applied with anyone in your world, not just your struggling child.EPISODE RESOURCES: Never Split the Difference - negotiating as if your life depends on it, by Chris Voss This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
About Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health
When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family.Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey.Episodes features:Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest timesWhether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone.New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.
Listen to Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health, SOLVED with Mark Manson and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
South Africa