Am I Right in Not Letting My Grandchild's Mom Visit? - Weekend Wisdom
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have been fostering our grandchild since March. It is now almost September. Both biological parents had drug addiction. Bio mom was on a trial home visit, but used this as the reason our grandchild is with us. After the trial home visit ended, bio mom was still getting supervised visits 2x a week. After every visit, the little one was dysregulated and started biting and hitting the daycare kiddos and the provider, and would also act out towards us. She is only 15 months old. Both parents terminated their rights in May, and that is when I put a stop to the visits. We know bio mom was still using while having her supervised visits. I give weekly updates and photos to bio mom. But she keeps pushing for (in-person) visits, and I can't do visits, as I don't know if bio mom is clean or still using. She has had 13 years of using and has found loopholes in the system to keep seeing her other kids, when she doesn't have custody of them. Since we stopped visiting, my grandchild has become more stable and regulated and has stopped biting and hitting. Our caseworker has filed the adoption papers, and we will soon finalize the adoption. Bio mom is still using, and she tells me she is an alienated parent, and that I am keeping her from her child. Am I doing the right thing by not letting her see the child?Resources:How Do You Manage Relationships with Birth Parents with Substance Use Disorders?Open Adoption With Addicted Birth Parents5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsPractical Help for Shared Parenting in Kinship CaregivingSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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A Conversation with Emily Cole from Bananas Foster
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for a fun and inspiring conversation with Emily Cole, co-founder and co-owner of Banana Ball, the new sports phenomenon sweeping the country. We're talking with her about Bananas Foster, their non-profit that celebrates foster families all around the nation.In this episode, we talk about:Please tell us the story of how Bananas Foster got started.What was happening in your life that made you say, “We need to do something for foster families”?What was the biggest challenge in getting things off the ground?For listeners who might not know you yet, what’s the mission of Bananas Foster?What are some of the biggest everyday needs you hear about from foster, kinship, or adoptive families?How do you see Bananas Foster stepping into those areas of need?What’s your big dream for Bananas Foster — say, five or ten years from now?You talk about celebrating and supporting foster families — can you share what that looks like at a typical Banana Ball game day?What kinds of local partnerships do you have in the cities you visit — with churches, agencies, schools, or other groups?Looking ahead, do you have a plan or goal for building on those partnerships or expanding the care you offer with them?The celebrations you host are such a bright spot! What do families tell you after those events — how do they feel when they leave?Is there a particular story, celebration, or family that has really stuck with you?How do you hope those celebrations will grow or change over the next few years?What’s one thing you’ve learned from the families you serve that’s changed you personally?For our listeners, how can people get involved or support what Bananas Foster is doing?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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Tips for Transitioning a Child from Foster Care to Adoption - Weekend Wisdom
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Do you have trainings for children transitioning from foster care to adoption?Resources:Transitioning a Child to Your HomeWelcoming an Older Child to Your FamilyHelping Your Child Transition Smoothly from Foster Care to AdoptionUsing Lifebooks to Explain Complex Issues in Adoption to KidsBooks about being adopted from foster careSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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Taking Care of Yourself When Parenting Harder to Parent Kids
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you sometimes feel that self-care is an impossible goal when you are parenting kids who have experienced trauma? There isn’t enough time in the day to do it all, much less take care of yourself. Or is there? Join us to talk about how to find time to take care of yourself. We will talk with Angelica Jones, MSW, Program Director of Intercountry Services and the Intensive Service Foster Care Recruiter and Trainer at Vista Del Mar Child and Family Services.In this episode, we discuss:“Selfcare” or “take care of yourself” are overused but still vitally important terms for foster, adoptive, and kinship parents.Why do all parents but especially parents of kids who’ve experienced trauma need to practice self-care?What is secondary trauma?Why are kids who’ve experience neglect, abuse and other childhood traumas harder to parent?Challenging BehaviorsLearning disabilitiesThe busyness of foster and adoptive parenting.So many appointments (therapy, OT, tutoring, doctors, IEP meetings, social workers, birth family visits, etc.)Helping with education-homework struggles.Dealing with the emotional fallout from early life trauma.What are some of the barriers to taking care of ourselves as adoptive, foster or kinship parents?The importance of respite care and the barriers to parents using it.Practical ideas for providing self-care.Think small when thinking self-care.Ask for help and accept it when offered. If someone offers to help, say “yes” and suggest something specific.Parent Support groupsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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Open Adoption and Healthy Boundaries - Weekend Wisdom
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We adopted our son at birth, and he is about to turn one already. I deeply care about his birth parents and have tried very hard to maintain a relationship with them. Even during many months of no contact, I think about them every day. Our only post-placement visit with them was at 2 1/2 months. They have no-showed for all the other visits they asked for, and have gone several months at a time without responding to contact. They missed a visit 2 weeks ago and have finally reached back out asking to plan another. Visits require 6 hours of driving and coordinating time off from work. They do not drive and would not have any means of travelling to us. Our plan was to do visits 2-4 times a year. We offered to plan another visit the week of his birthday. I also offered to send weekly text updates. I work in healthcare and need to be very present in my job and prefer not to be on my phone when I am home with my family, so I do not text anyone much during the week. I am now being asked to provide daily updates and to do visits monthly. I don't even respond to my best friend more than once or twice a week because it is hard for me to keep up with messages. I am also not convinced that increasing the frequency of visits will help them follow through on attending them due to the pattern that has occurred so far. I am feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to move forward in a way that is loving and respectful, but also sustainable for our family and best for our son.Resources:5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsCreating Relationship with Birth Parents in Adoption (Even When It's Hard!)Mama on Earth: A Guest Article on Co-ParentingOpen Adoption Can Be MessyOur #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
About Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
Are you thinking about adopting or fostering a child? Confused about all the options and wondering where to begin? Or are you an adoptive or foster parent or kinship caregiver trying to be the best parent possible to this precious child? This is the podcast for you! Every week, we interview leading experts for an hour, discussing the topics you care about in deciding whether to adopt/foster or how to be a better parent. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are the national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: weekly podcasts, weekly articles, and resource pages on all aspects of family building at our website, CreatingaFamily.org. We also have an active presence on many social media platforms. Please like or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter).
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