Awesome Marriage Podcast

In a culture that blurs truth and deception, marriages can easily absorb beliefs that slowly damage connection and trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg Smalley joins us to uncover the lies that are hitting marriages the hardest—and the truths that can set couples free.
We talk about why marriages are so vulnerable to these lies, how stress and unmet expectations make them worse, and how emotional distance and internal narratives shape the way we see our spouse. Dr. Smalley also shares practical ways to recognize and replace these lies with truth, plus insight from his own marriage.
If you've ever felt stuck in negative patterns or discouraged in your relationship, this episode will help you reset your perspective and refocus on what's true.



Episode Highlights:
Why marriages are especially vulnerable to believing harmful lies—and when that risk is highest

How stress, unmet expectations, and emotional distance distort the way we see our spouse

Practical ways to recognize lies, replace them with truth, and rebuild connection




Quotes from this Episode:
Quotes from Dr. Kim
"Marriage is an adventure full of highs and lows, good and bad."

"We live in a culture that tells us we should be happy above all."

"The greatest marriage advice is to ask how can I be a better husband."

"I think if you do the things that we, if couples do the things we're talking about today, you are laying the foundation for those empty nest years to be something very, very special."

 
Quotes from Greg Smalley:
"Differences are never the problem. The truth is differences are beautiful."

"What creates true connection, what creates intimacy, is safety."

"I want to be the one to love her in that way by affirming her."

"The key is for you to become that perfect person to marry."

"I want my wife's heart rendered open to me."

"It changes our marriages when we start caring about how our spouse felt." 

"I want to create a campfire with my wife that we just want to linger around and just enjoy each other."

"Instead of thinking about resolving conflict, think about how do we repair conflict."




Time to Talk About it: 
What's a negative thought or assumption I've been believing about you or our marriage lately—and is it actually true?
When we're stressed or things aren't going how we expected, what stories do we tend to tell ourselves about each other?
What's one simple thing we could do this week to feel more safe, connected, and quick to repair things when they go sideways?

 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Check out Greg Smalley and Focus with the Family

Get a copy of 9 Lies that will Destroy Your Marriage

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Most of us have experienced that shift in marriage—where the little quirks that once felt endearing during dating suddenly become everyday annoyances. The real challenge comes when those small frustrations start to build, creating distance, resentment, and barriers to connection. And often, it's not just the habits themselves—but the assumptions we attach to them—that carry the most power, quietly shaping how we see and respond to our spouse.
In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy share practical ways to keep the small things from becoming big issues. They talk about the power of open and honest communication, setting realistic expectations, and choosing grace in the moments it's needed most—especially when assumptions threaten to take over.
Our hope is that this conversation encourages you to strengthen your connection and approach the little things in your marriage with greater understanding, intention, and grace.


Episode Highlights:
Assumptions do not help the marriage relationship.
Open communication is key to highlighting the differences in your relationship and developing an alternate way to move forward together.



Quotes from this Episode:
You begin to think God made a mistake, which He doesn't.
The way I think about Nancy, is going to impact the way I treat her.
When you start thinking negatively toward someone, just stop and lay it at the Lords' feet. 
God wants us to have a good marriage. He gave it as a gift to us so He wants it to be good.
It's hard to build a case against Nancy, when I'm taking her to the Lord in prayer.
Marriage doesn't have to be complicated. God didn't create it as this maze we have to figure our way through.



Time to Talk About it: 
When's the last time you prayed for the Lord to help you see your spouse the way He sees them. 
Is there something you need to share with you spouse that you've been viewing negatively? Something that is going unmentioned and ignored?
Take time to write down 10 things you love or admire about your spouse. Now share it with them. 



Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

In this episode, Dr. Kim talks with author and pastor Heath Hardesty about his new book, All Things Together. Heath shares how his time apprenticing under his earthly father became a living picture of what it means to be an apprentice of our Heavenly Father. They discuss what it looks like to live as image bearers in a fragmented world, why discipleship is more than "extra credit," and how God redeems, not erases, our humanity. Together, they unpack how to see with wonder again, order our imagination around Christ, and live a whole, beautiful life that reflects Him.
 
Episode Takeaways:
Wholeness comes from staying connected, not from doing more.
Slowing down is often the most spiritual thing we can do.
God loves us and desires to dwell with us.
Our focus and intention shape the way we experience life and who we become.
Life feels scattered because we're often living disconnected from what truly grounds us.
Our actions are connected to our faith.
We ache and long for relationship with our Creator. He is a good Father.



Quotes from this Episode:
How we imagine the world really affects how we inhabit it.
Technology can connect, but the digital world often pulls us apart—scattering our presence across time and place until we forget what it means to truly be together.
When we take things out of context and mix the sacred with the trivial, our souls are shaped by confusion and chaos.
God weaves beauty from even the most ordinary or unwanted chapters of our stories—if we let Him, nothing is wasted.
We are made to be apprentices of the Master—union, abiding, obeying, and becoming like Him is the heart of how we truly change.
Faith isn't just belief in our heads—it's trust that spills out through our hands, our words, our feet, our relationships. It's embodied and lived.
Serving others, especially those closest to us, by following Christ's example, transforms both them and us. True love is found in humble service.
Faith has everything to do with our hands, our feet, our mouth, and our relationships. It's an embodied thing.
 
Reflect on This:
Where does life feel most rushed right now? How can you invite Jesus into this space instead of just trying harder?
What small daily habit or rhythm is shaping you the most right now, for better or for worse?
If following Jesus is more about apprenticeship than perfection, what is one simple practice you could lean into this week to stay more connected to Him?
 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Never miss a Wider Lens episode. Listen here.
Heath Hardesty is on Instagram.
Purchase All Things Together: How Apprenticeship to Jesus Is the Way of Flourishing in a Fragmented World by Heath Hardesty
Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

We've all heard the proverb that pride comes before the fall—but is there a place for pride in our relationships at all? Today, Dr. Kim takes an honest look at pride in marriage: its roots, its power, and its ability to divide even the strongest relationships. You'll be encouraged to recognize where pride may be creeping in, what it's actually revealing about your own heart, and practical ways to get it under control. Dr. Kim also addresses how to love and set healthy boundaries with a spouse who is struggling with pride—without enabling, escalating conflict, or losing yourself in the process.
 
Episode Highlights:
Pride quietly erodes connection.

Pride reveals what's happening in the heart.

Healthy humility creates stronger, safer relationships.

It's ok to name the unhealthy rhythms in your marriage. It's not ok to remain in them. 

 
Quotes from this Episode:
Unchecked pride leads to chronic resentment.

Many affairs and separations trace back to one thing. One spouse spends years feeling like they couldn't be heard, valued or respected. 

When we make a mistake pride tells us to minimize it or justify it. 

Healthy confidence says "I have value and so does my spouse." Pride says "I have value and my spouse needs to recognize it."

Confidence can receive correction. Pride can't. 

Pride builds a wall one brick at a time. Every unapologized offense was a brick. Every conversation where one spouse lectured instead of listened. Every eye roll- a brick.

You don't want to just endure an unhealthy dynamic without ever naming it. That's not humility that is enabling. 




Time to Talk About it: 
Where do you think pride shows up most in our relationship—during conflict, communication, or something else?

When you feel unheard or unvalued, how do you usually respond—and do you think pride plays a role in that reaction?

What's one practical way we could replace pride with humility in our marriage this week?




Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer this month, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

Marriage has a way of bringing our imperfections to the surface—and if we're honest, that can feel frustrating, discouraging, and even isolating at times. But what if those struggles aren't something to hide…what if they're actually where God's grace shows up most?
In this episode, we're talking about how the imperfect stories we see throughout Scripture mirror our own and remind us that we're not alone in the mess. We'll unpack what it really looks like to build intimacy through vulnerability, why accepting each other's brokenness matters more than having it all together, and how God's unconditional love can shift the way you see yourself and your spouse.
If you've ever felt like your marriage falls short of the ideal, this conversation will remind you that God does some of His best work right in the middle of it.



Episode Highlights:
The people in the Bible weren't perfect—and that's exactly where God's grace shows up, just like it does in our marriages.

Real intimacy doesn't come from having it all together—it comes from being honest, letting your guard down, and choosing to love each other in the middle of the imperfections.

When we truly understand God's unconditional love, it changes everything.

 
Quotes from this Episode:
I think we all have a tendency to let other people define who we are and we've got to keep our eyes on him."
I love that scripture in 1 John 4 all the time, you know, we love because He first loved us.- Dana Che
People have this idea that people in the Bible are saints… I really wanted to show the humanity of the people in scripture. Just like us they struggled with their faith.- Dana Che Williams
We can't project the image of God if we are hiding. If we are pretending. -Dana Che
We are broken people who married broken people. - Dana Che
Even if people reject you, God does not reject you. - Dana Che Williams
We must get our worth and our value from the Lord.- Dana Che Williams
We have to be tethered in. We have to be tied together, so that when the storms of life or the gentle everyday situations of life, we aren't disconnecting. 
I can't be led by my feelings. I have to pray about my feelings. I have to submit my heart before the Lord.
He wants your marriage to work. He wants every marriage to work.- Dr. Kim
There is so much beauty in the suffering if we will just endure it. 


Time to Talk About it: 
Do you feel like you play second fiddle to anything in your spouse's life? Have you shared that with them?
What routines and rhythms can we put in place to fight against the disconnect? 
Are there things we did before marriage, that we have stopped doing? How can we bring that excitement back to our marriage today?
What can the two of you be working on together to grow the Kingdom of God? (If you don't have an answer, take the time now to go to the Lord in prayer)


Mentioned in This Episode:
Connect with Dana Che

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Our Reframing Challenge will help you view your spouse through the lens of God.

Once a year we do something HUGE! 10 resources for one donation. Don't miss our April bundle- your marriage will thank you for it!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!