Awesome Marriage Podcast

What does it mean to build a life that truly matters? In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer, former Air Force JAG officer, attorney, coach, trainer, husband, and dad, to talk about the experiences and values that shaped him. From growing up in a blue-collar family on Long Island to playing college football, serving in the military, and eventually leaving a successful legal career to pursue a different calling, Tom shares lessons on work ethic, purpose, fatherhood, and taking risks.
Along the way, they discuss the importance of showing up for your kids, the life lessons sports can teach, and why success on paper isn't always the same as fulfillment. This conversation will challenge you to think about the legacy you're building and the choices that matter most.
Episode Highlights:
Why the best lessons in life often happen outside the classroom

The impact of a father who always showed up

How to pursue purpose over prestige and redefine success

Tune in for an honest conversation about work, family, calling, and what it means to live with intention.
Quotes from Tom Pfeifer:
"For me, it was a non-negotiable starting point. I'm just going to be there."
"Now I have margin in my life. On a Tuesday afternoon, I can block my calendar and just hang out with my kids."
"Everything you do has a cost."
"Every yes, every extra commitment, every extra dinner—that's time you're taking away from something else."
"Most kids just want somebody to say, 'I'm proud of you.'" 
At what cost do you continue doing something that looks successful on paper but leaves a void inside?" 
"When things are scarce in your life, you become hyper-focused on getting them." 
"Your kids aren't going to remember how hard you worked. They're going to remember that you were there." 
 
Time to Talk About it:
What is one area of your life where you're pursuing success, and what might it be costing you in your relationships, faith, or personal well-being?

When you think about the people who impacted you most growing up, what did they do that made you feel valued—and how can you offer that same gift to others today?

If your children, family, or closest friends described the legacy you're building right now, what would they say matters most to you? Is that the legacy you want to leave?

Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?
In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.
He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.
If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

 
Episode Highlights:
When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection 
The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal 
Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith 
 
Quotes from This Episode:
God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.
There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life. 
When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely. 
Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.
 Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home. 
The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging. 
When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong. 
Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.
 
Time to Talk About it:
Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually? 
If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?
Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another? 
 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?
In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.
He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.
If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

 
Episode Highlights:
When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection 
The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal 
Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith 
 
Quotes from This Episode:
God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.
There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life. 
When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely. 
Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.
 Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home. 
The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging. 
When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong. 
Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.
 
Time to Talk About it:
Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually? 
If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?
Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another? 
 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?
In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.
He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.
If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

 
Episode Highlights:
When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection 
The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal 
Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith 
 
Quotes from This Episode:
God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.
There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life. 
When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely. 
Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.
 Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home. 
The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging. 
When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong. 
Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.
 
Time to Talk About it:
Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually? 
If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?
Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another? 
 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with bestselling author Gary Chapman for a practical and honest conversation about what it really looks like to keep a marriage growing, not just surviving.
They talk about why marriages don't just "stay the same," how couples slowly drift without realizing it, and what it takes to stay emotionally connected over time. Gary unpacks how love languages can shift through different seasons of life, why assumptions create so many problems, and how simple things like curiosity, communication, and daily check-ins can completely change the tone of a relationship.
If you've ever felt like you and your spouse are just "off" lately, or you want to be more intentional about loving well, this conversation gives you real, doable ways to start moving back toward each other again.
 
Episode Highlights:
Without intentional effort, connection naturally fades into distance or "roommate mode." 

Couples often miss each other because they're expressing love in ways that feel right to them, not in ways that actually land with their spouse. 

When couples stay teachable and intentional, even conflict becomes an opportunity for deeper connection. 

 
Quotes from this Episode:
Gary Chapman:
"Marriage is either going to grow or regress—there's really no drifting in place."

"I don't talk about a perfect marriage. I talk about a growing marriage."

"Life satisfaction is found in relationships, not in the accumulation of things."

"We cannot read each other's minds—you have to ask questions and listen."

"The objective is not to win the argument—the objective is to find a solution together."

"It's no fun to live with a loser. Why would you create a loser? You're on the same team."

"Love has to be communicated in a way that's meaningful to the other person."

 
 
Kim Kimberling:
"I don't think I'll ever learn everything there is to know about Nancy in a lifetime."

"Marriage is an adventure because you're always discovering new things about each other."

"If you're not feeling loved, turn into your marriage—not outside of it."

"Assumptions in marriage are usually way off."

"The distractions we entertain today are often stealing the connection we could be building at home."

"There's so much value in the person God put in front of you to do life with."

"Small, intentional steps done consistently really do make a difference over time."


Time to Talk About it:
Where in our marriage are we currently growing—and where might we actually be drifting without realizing it?

In what ways am I trying to show love to my spouse, and are those actually the ways they most feel loved?

How well do we really ask questions and stay curious about each other instead of assuming we already know what the other thinks or feels?

What would it look like for us to build a simple daily rhythm of connection (even 10–15 minutes) to stay emotionally close?


Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Take the Love Languages test.

Get your copy of The Love Language That Matters Most.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Unpack what scripture says about how to demonstrate love well in your marriage with our plan: Speak to Their Heart: 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Well

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!