Awesome Marriage Podcast

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't a lack of opportunity, but fear?
In part two of Dr. Kim's conversation with Tom Pfeiffer, they explore what it takes to step into the life God is calling you to live. Tom shares how walking away from a successful legal career taught him that waiting for certainty often keeps us from taking the very steps that lead to growth.
Together, they discuss the cost of inaction, learning to let go of other people's opinions, changing the trajectory of your family legacy, and why being fully present with your spouse and children is one of the greatest investments you'll ever make.
Whether you're facing a career decision, feeling stuck, or simply wanting to live with greater purpose, this conversation will encourage you to stop waiting for the "perfect time" and start making intentional choices today.
 
Episode Highlights:
Stop waiting for certainty—action creates clarity.
Don't let other people's opinions dictate your future.
Choose presence with your family over the pursuit of success.
Build a legacy you'll be proud to look back on.
 
Quotes from this Conversation:
Tom Pfeiffer
"We always think you need certainty before action. But I think it's the opposite."

"We never really contemplate the cost of inaction. What did I miss by not doing that?"

"Far too often, you'll look back when you're 60, 70, or 80 years old and say, 'Man, I wish I did that.'"

"I honestly stopped caring what people think. It's a daily practice, but it's life-changing."

"Write down the names of the people whose opinions actually matter to you. I'll bet you're done in 30 seconds."

"The majority of people who have an opinion about what you're doing are usually just afraid to do it themselves."

"I was more afraid of staying where I was and not being a present dad than I was of making the change."

"It's not going to say 'JD' or 'Doctor' on your tombstone. It's going to say father, husband, son. Those are the things that matter."

"There are moments in life that are the last time you'll ever do something—and most of the time, you don't even know it."

"Sports are a vehicle for life. You have to be okay with adversity because that's where growth happens."

"You have to be okay with delayed gratification. You're going to crawl, then walk, then jog, then run."

"The version of you that you present every day is the driving factor behind the life you build."

 
Dr. Kim Kimberling
"There's such a profound satisfaction that comes from being the person who changes your family lineage."

"Most people don't think about us nearly as much as we think they do."

"If they're not on your list, don't give their opinion power over your life."

"Your spouse and your kids will know if you're not being who God created you to be."

"What's really important is the dash between the dates. What did you do with your time?"

"You can always find time for your family if you decide they're a priority."

"Your kids won't remember the career you built. They'll remember that you were there."

"If you're becoming the person God created you to be, everyone around you benefits."




Time to Talk About it:
Where in your life are you waiting for certainty before taking a step of faith, and what might happen if you took action instead?
Whose opinions have the biggest influence on your decisions, and are those the people whose voices should matter most?
If your spouse or children described what you prioritize with your time, what would they say—and does that align with the legacy you want to leave?

Just when you thought you couldn't love Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy more—this episode takes things to a whole new level. With honesty and heart, they open up about the real journey of their marriage—sharing the intentional choices, tough seasons, and deep faith that carried them through. From early challenges that could have pulled them apart to the daily decisions that drew them closer, their story reflects what's possible when a couple chooses to build on the foundation of Christ. Their marriage is both relatable and inspiring—a powerful reminder that when God is kept first, a marriage doesn't just survive—it thrives.
Episode Highlights:
Marriage takes intentionality.
Awesome marriages don't happen naturally.
No matter where your marriage is at there is hope!
Quotes from this Episode:
I think we had to build true love in our marriage.
We've learned to build bit by bit.
I thought if I loved you enough everything was going to be ok.
Until you realize how much God loves you as a person you aren't truly free to love another person.
Divorce isn't a word in our vocabulary anymore, commitment is!
Just getting married doesn't mean you won't feel alone. 
 
Couple's Conversation Guide:
What part of Dr. Kim and Nancy's story felt most relatable or surprising to you? Why?



Have you ever assumed love alone would be enough to fix everything? How has your view of love and commitment changed over time?



Have there been moments where one (or both) of you felt alone in your marriage? What helped reconnect you—or what could help now?



Is "divorce" or emotional withdrawal ever subtly present as an option in your mindset or language? What does it look like to choose commitment every day?



How can you better prioritize keeping God first in your marriage this week?



What's one thing you want to be intentional about after listening to this episode—together or individually?

 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can't be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.

Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There's something for everyone. 

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you intentionally choose to build a thriving marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Celebrating Differences in Marriage

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive this month's resource.

Joining me today are Dave and Ann Wilson who have written a brand new book about what it looks like to speak life into our marriages; not just with the words we say, but also in the thoughts we choose to dwell on. We'll talk about why trying to be your spouse's Holy Spirit never works, why kindness is actually one of the most rebellious things we can do in today's world, and how reframing our inner dialogue can change the way we manage conflict.
Whether you've been shouting to be heard, or quietly holding back the pain of unspoken expectations, today's conversation will offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and fresh hope for building a marriage that reflects Christ's love. We pray this episode encourages you!



Episode Highlights:
How you approach the conversation matters. 
Hope and joy can only be in the Lord.
Your words have the power to build up or tear down your spouse.
Gratitude for your spouse can change your perspective of your spouse.
 
Quotes from Today's Episode:
"Men go where they're affirmed. They go there." - Dave Wilson
"I realize like when I'm in the Word, I look at things different. I look at the world different. I look at Dave different. And it started, God's Word started to change me." - Ann Wilson
But there's something that's really holy about seeing greatness in a person and being able to communicate it in some way." - Ann Wilson
"I had put all my hopes and dreams in Dave. I'd taken them off of Jesus and I was like, you could make me happy. And it's easy to get into that rut of like, if you would just do X, Y, Z, I could be more content." - Ann Wilson
God's given us to each other to sharpen one another- Dave Wilson
Speak life to your husband. Bring him back to be the man God created him to be. 
We can help shape how our husbands and how our kids feel about themselves, but we have to first connect with Jesus. - Ann Wilson
What good does it do to only think of the negative?
When I'm in the Word, I see the world different. I see Dave different.
You can't say everything you feel!



Couples' Conversation Guide:
How do we typically approach hard conversations with each other—and what could we do to make those moments feel safer and more affirming?



Have we unintentionally placed our hope or happiness in each other instead of in God? What would it look like to shift that back to Jesus as our source of joy?



What is one thing I genuinely admire or am grateful for in you that I may not say often enough? How can we be more intentional about calling out the good in each other?

 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Find Dave and Ann Wilson on IG.

How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to do is Yell at Him on Amazon

Dave and Ann Wilson's podcast: FamilyLife Today

Help your children write God's Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you work toward growing the gratitude in your marraige, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

In this week's episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy unpack the powerful topic of expectations—focusing on how to clearly express what you need from your spouse. With honest conversation, a willingness to listen, and an open heart, you can transform how you communicate and connect in your relationship.
Quotes from this episode:
"I just thought you knew. And when you didn't I would go along and get resentful"
"We were trying to fit each other in the mold." 
"Our first big argument scared the heck out of me. My unrealistic expectation was that we would never fight." 
"It's a good idea to have a signal or cue so that you make your spouse aware." 



Questions for Reflection:
What are some expectations—spoken or unspoken—that we each bring into our marriage, and how well do we feel they've been understood by each other?


When was a time we misunderstood one another because expectations weren't clearly communicated? What can we learn from that moment?


How can we create more space in our relationship for honest, judgment-free conversations about what we each need or hope for?


What's one expectation we can both express more clearly this week—and how can we support each other in meeting it with love and grace?
 
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  
Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

If expectations feel like too big of a topic to tackle alone- try out Dr. Kim's Marriage Expectations Worksheet. He has used this resource in his counseling office for over thirteen years and now we are sharing it with you!

When you're frustrated, it's easy to let words fly out of your mouth. Our new FREE resource: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse will help couples choose words that bring life instead of cause chaos. 

Awesome Marriage has a great Premarital course to help couples have important conversations before their big day. Communicate expectations effectively and be proactive in learning your future spouse with this great course. Already married? Share this course with a couple who's looking forward to their big day.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 14 Keys to Lasting Love

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our resource of the month.

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Ron Deal to talk about what it really means to build a mindful marriage. Ron shares lessons from his new book, Mindful Marriage, and how restoration therapy helped him and his wife Nan find healing and deeper connection. Together, they explore how faith, self-awareness, and emotional regulation can transform your relationship from the inside out.
 
Episode Insights:
Authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness.
Emotional dysregulation is normal.
 Our brains respond to threat, not fairness.
Pain cycles drive repeated conflict.
Growth and redemption matter more than blame.



Quotes from Today's Episode:
'Happy wife, happy life' sounds catchy, but in reality, it's an empty promise. Lasting happiness in marriage comes from authenticity, not performance or pretending everything is okay.
Every single one of us gets thrown off-balance emotionally. Some stay there longer, others move through it quickly, but emotional dysregulation is part of the human experience. There's nothing wrong about you because you get dysregulated.
The brain can't tell the difference between a rattlesnake, a near-miss in traffic, or your spouse's criticism. Threat is threat.
Our brains are wired for survival, not perfect communication.
You don't have fifty different fights in marriage. You just have one ongoing pain cycle. Once you identify and understand your pain cycle, you can finally move beyond it together.
Ignoring your pain doesn't make it go away—if anything, it makes your pain stronger, more insistent, and harder to escape.
It's easy to point out the flaw in someone else, but it's vital to focus on your own growth.
You may not forget your pain, but you can redeem what it does in your life. Choosing redemption over resentment is liberating.



Couples Conversation Guide:
Are there areas in our marriage where we tend to "perform" or pretend things are okay instead of being real with each other? 
When conflict or hurt arises between you, how aware are you of what's really going on beneath the surface—your emotions, triggers, or past experiences?
What's one practical step you can take this week to be more mindful in your marriage—whether that's pausing before reacting, praying together, or choosing to listen with empathy?



Mentioned in this episode:
#1 Amazon Bestseller is available! The Mindful Marriage (designed for every marriage).  

Ron Deal

What's your reactive coping style? We all have one. Take our free assessment (15 minutes). 

Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram

Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!