Awesome Marriage Podcast

My good friend Matt Cline is here with me today to talk through the cultural epidemic of pornography. We are diving into the deeper roots behind sexual sin, temptation, and transformation. Matt discusses why behavior modification alone isn't enough, how our view of sex shapes the way we lead and relate to others, and why isolation keeps people stuck. Explore how true freedom comes through renewing the mind, pursuing Christlikeness, and allowing God to transform us from the inside out. 
 
Episode Highlights:
Surface-level behavior change isn't enough—you have to deal with the root issue.

The way we follow Christ should shape the way we think about sex and intimacy.

Hidden sexual sin doesn't stay isolated—it affects every relationship around us.

Sexual immorality pulls us toward selfishness instead of self-giving love.

God invites you to live in His grace and the freedom He offers.




Quotes from this Conversation:
Matt:
Love, living in love and engaging in sexual immorality cannot happen at the same time. 

The purpose for our sexual desire is a training ground for Christlikeness. For dying to self and stewarding our urges.

Accountability should not be focused simply on not sinning.

Temptation is simply an opportunity for transformation. 

I tried to quit the sin for so long without ever learning how to renew my mind. Never learning how to think like Jesus in the sexual area of my life. 

The amount of perversion in our faces all the time, lends to us justifying "lesser sins."

You can get rid of the behavior but what about the worldview or the view on sex that has been established in you that you have not yet had renewed?

 
Dr. Kim:
Isolation does nothing good for us at all. Isolation when we're dealing with something negative should not be something that we do.

We give people hope because not in us and not our ministries, but in this God who created us.

I want to know Nancy loves me even with everything out on the table. 




Time to Talk About It:
Are there areas in my life where I've focused more on behavior management than true heart transformation?

How has my worldview around sex, intimacy, or temptation been shaped more by culture than by Christ?

When I struggle, do I tend to isolate myself or invite trusted people into honesty, accountability, and healing?


 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Check out what Matt is doing at Restored Ministries

If your marriage is struggling with betrayal, check out our course: Marriage Undefiled

Marriage was never promised to be easy, light, or always enjoyable—but when both spouses are committed wholeheartedly, it can endure even the hardest seasons. In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the foundational truths that help build a healthy, lasting marriage: honest communication, emotional safety, gratitude, faith, and learning how to work through conflict instead of avoiding it.
He also shares what it looks like to start fresh without carrying the weight of past mistakes and why the struggles couples face—especially in the early years—don't mean something is wrong. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this episode offers practical encouragement to help you strengthen your relationship and build a marriage grounded in a foundation that lasts.



Episode Highlights:
"Becoming" is a process and it doesn't happen at the altar. 
The decisions that shape a marriage most aren't the big dramatic ones. 
Keep having fun together, year after year.
If this is your second marriage- things don't have to be the same!



Quotes from this episode:
When faith is at the center of your marriage it changes the source of your security. You're no longer looking to your spouse to provide what only God can provide.
The first year is not the best year- and that's ok.
The friction you feel is not a sign that something is wrong. It's a sign that you are doing the real work of two becoming one.
Avoiding the conversation doesn't make the problem disappear.
The conversations you tend to avoid are the ones that can make or break a marriage. 
Your spouse is not a mind reader and neither are you. 
Communication is not a failure of love. It's an expression of it. 
The cultural model asks "what am I getting out of this?" The biblical model asks "what am I bringing to this?"
Avoidance builds walls.
Couples who pray together, seek wisdom together, and bring God into the center or their disagreements have a resource that other couples just don't have. 
Your spouse should feel like they can be honest with you without being punished for it. If they feel like they have to manage your reactions before they can be truthful, you've built a marriage where honesty is not safe. 
Life administration isn't connection. 
Gratitude is a muscle and in marriage it needs regular exercise. 



Time to talk about it? 
What do we expect from each other sexually?
Are we spiritually moving in the same direction? 
How was conflict handled in your home growing up? 
Have we let anything go unaddressed?
Are we protecting our time together?



Mentioned in this Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make space to talk about the marriage itself with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

In a culture that constantly redefines truth, how do you build a marriage that actually stands firm?
Dr. Kim sits down with Aaron and Amy Graham to talk about choosing faith over culture and why most marriages don't fall apart overnight—they slowly drift as outside voices shape what we believe about love, identity, and purpose. The Grahams challenge couples to examine those influences, guard their identity, and remember that marriage was designed for more than just their own happiness.
This conversation is a powerful reminder that your spouse isn't meant to meet every need—and that intimacy with God is the foundation for a thriving marriage.
 
Episode highlights:
Drifting is a slow process.
If we are to live a life that goes against culture, we must know truth and live by it. 
Marriage has a greater mission than just your happiness.



Quotes from this Episode:
The Grahams:
If the church doesn't disciple people, the world gladly will.
What does it look like to stand firm in a marriage? It's to not give the devil a foothold.
Sometimes we don't realize how we have subtly imported a secular worldview into every area of our life. 
The enemy doesn't want to just tempt us to sin. He wants to reshape our identity and distort our worship. 
God has designed us for intimacy and that starts in our marriage relationship. 
We have to go into our marriage understanding that our spouse isn't going to solve all of our loneliness. We have to have relationship with God. 
The secular lie is that we determine what truth is: my feelings, my version of the truth.
Marriage sometimes can become an idol for people when they don't have a bigger mission than just marriage. Because your marriage can become self centered- what the main mission- it's not just your happiness. 

Dr. Kim:
So much of our faith is knowing that this God who created everything loves us conditionally in a culture where nobody loves us unconditionally- sometimes that's hard to get a hold of.
Selfishness is something we have to be aware of our whole marriage because we can fall into that trap. 
God is never going to do anything in you that is not good for your marriage. 




Time to talk about it:
Are there ideas we need to deconstruct in our marriage? 
What voices are we allowing to speak into our marriage? Do they align with the Truth?
What disciplines do we need to implement to show that our marriage is a priority and to honor the union that God has brought together? 
 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Connect with Aaron and Amy Graham.

Get your own copy of Unshakeable Faith

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're praying for your marriage! We make it easy with this prayer guide: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you know you should pray with your spouse or for your spouse but don't know where to start? Check out: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage

Unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your marriage. You need this brand new resource: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Have you ever gotten to the point in your marriage where your spouse felt more like the enemy than the person you committed to stand by in sickness and in health? What used to feel easy now feels tense. Conversations turn into misunderstandings. Small things feel big. Or maybe it's not conflict, it's distance. You're living side by side, but feeling miles apart.
Somewhere along the way, everything started to feel… personal.
And today, we're talking about why that happens, and how to change it.
 
Episode Highights:
It's not you vs. your spouse. It's you both vs the pattern.
Your thought life shapes your marriage
Healing and gratitude change everything. 

 
Quotes from Today's Episode:
One moment doesn't define your marriage.- Mrs. Nancy
The more I'm grateful for who Nancy is in my life, it's so much easier to say "no, I'm not talking this personal."
People get ticked off for so many easy things nowadays and it's easy to get sucked into that.
We don't want to look at ourselves. If I can blame Nancy then I can stay with that and not have to blame myself. God had to work on me.
Our negative thinking can take over so much of the time. That negative thought process- and I have to go back to Romans 12: 2. Renewing our mind. That's the key.- Mrs. Nancy
If there are old wounds, we have to take care of those. 



Time to Talk About it:
Do you feel like I do things just to upset you? If so, how can we resolve this?
List out 5 things you are grateful for about your spouse. Share them with one another. 
 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your marriage. You need this brand new resource: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Summer is coming and the beach is calling, and the Lord can use the ocean to speak encouragement into your marriage- see for yourself Islands, Tides and the Deep: A Marriage Message from the Sea

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer this month, you'll receive our brand new Marriage Expectations Worksheet. This powerful tool is going to change the way you think about and talk about expectations in your marriage.

In a culture that blurs truth and deception, marriages can easily absorb beliefs that slowly damage connection and trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg Smalley joins us to uncover the lies that are hitting marriages the hardest—and the truths that can set couples free.
We talk about why marriages are so vulnerable to these lies, how stress and unmet expectations make them worse, and how emotional distance and internal narratives shape the way we see our spouse. Dr. Smalley also shares practical ways to recognize and replace these lies with truth, plus insight from his own marriage.
If you've ever felt stuck in negative patterns or discouraged in your relationship, this episode will help you reset your perspective and refocus on what's true.



Episode Highlights:
Why marriages are especially vulnerable to believing harmful lies—and when that risk is highest

How stress, unmet expectations, and emotional distance distort the way we see our spouse

Practical ways to recognize lies, replace them with truth, and rebuild connection




Quotes from this Episode:
Quotes from Dr. Kim
"Marriage is an adventure full of highs and lows, good and bad."

"We live in a culture that tells us we should be happy above all."

"The greatest marriage advice is to ask how can I be a better husband."

"I think if you do the things that we, if couples do the things we're talking about today, you are laying the foundation for those empty nest years to be something very, very special."

 
Quotes from Greg Smalley:
"Differences are never the problem. The truth is differences are beautiful."

"What creates true connection, what creates intimacy, is safety."

"I want to be the one to love her in that way by affirming her."

"The key is for you to become that perfect person to marry."

"I want my wife's heart rendered open to me."

"It changes our marriages when we start caring about how our spouse felt." 

"I want to create a campfire with my wife that we just want to linger around and just enjoy each other."

"Instead of thinking about resolving conflict, think about how do we repair conflict."




Time to Talk About it: 
What's a negative thought or assumption I've been believing about you or our marriage lately—and is it actually true?
When we're stressed or things aren't going how we expected, what stories do we tend to tell ourselves about each other?
What's one simple thing we could do this week to feel more safe, connected, and quick to repair things when they go sideways?

 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Check out Greg Smalley and Focus with the Family

Get a copy of 9 Lies that will Destroy Your Marriage

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!