Awesome Marriage Podcast

How do you share responsibilities in marriage without keeping score? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy talk about what it means to be true partners, especially when life changes and responsibilities shift. They discuss why equal doesn't always mean fair, how unspoken expectations can lead to resentment, and why feeling appreciated and seen matters so much in marriage. You'll also hear practical ways to talk about the things that feel unfair, serve one another with a Christlike attitude, and build rhythms that keep you connected. Marriage isn't about keeping track of who does more. It's about learning to come alongside each other, give grace, and work together as a team with God at the center. 
 
Top Takeaways:
Healthy partnerships aren't always 50/50. 
Unspoken expectations can lead to resentment. 
Serving your spouse is more important than keeping score. 
 
Quotes from this Episode:
1. "The danger isn't an uneven load. It's when one spouse starts to feel alone, unseen, or taken for granted."
2. "Equal isn't the same as fair. Sometimes you just have to give and take. It's for the common good of the team." — Mrs. Nancy
3. "This isn't 50-50. It's 100-100. You're both in, and you're working together on it." — Dr. Kim
4. "A lot of scorekeeping is really a fight for significance. I need to know what I'm doing matters, and you see me doing it." — Dr. Kim
5. "Being a student of your spouse and letting them show you, and maybe sometimes tell you directly what they need. And then come alongside them." — Dr. Kim
6. "We expect our spouse to read our mind and know what our expectations are. So it's a really good tool to talk about what's realistic and what's not." — Dr. Kim
7. "When you come to a conversation that might be difficult, you pray about it first. Ask God to give you the right words and to help you be empathetic with your spouse." — Dr. Kim
8. "How do I serve you today? How do I come alongside you today? That trumps scorekeeping." — Dr. Kim
9. "I want you to know that I care enough that I'm going to do the things to make your life better." — Dr. Kim
10. "Remember, you're not invisible to God. God sees it all, knows it all, and is ready to help you through it all." — Dr. Kim



Time to Think About It:
Are there any responsibilities in your marriage that feel uneven right now? 
What is one thing your spouse does that makes you feel supported or appreciated? 
How can you be a better team in this season of marriage? 
 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Need a healthy guide to communicate expectations: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet

If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series. 

Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. This plan is specifically for struggling marriages: One Foot Out the Door

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Infidelity can shatter more than a marriage. It can shake your sense of safety, identity, family, and even faith. But what happens when a couple chooses to face the pain, do the hard work of healing, and allow God to write a new chapter in their story?
Today, Dr. Kim sits down with Carl and Laura Lentz, authors of Overcoming Infidelity: 10 Conversations to Help Heal the Hurt. They share honestly about the devastation of betrayal and the long road toward rebuilding trust. Carl talks about the importance of taking ownership, honesty, and accountability, while Laura shares what healing looked like for her, including navigating triggers, finding safe people, and learning to feel safe again. Together, they discuss forgiveness, counseling, vulnerability, and helping children navigate a family crisis.
If your marriage has been impacted by betrayal, or you're walking alongside someone who is hurting, this conversation offers an honest look at the work of healing and the hope that can come through God's grace. Your story doesn't have to end at its hardest chapter.
 
Key Takeaways:
Healing begins with honesty and ownership. 
Forgiveness, trust, and safety are not the same thing. 
Your hardest chapter doesn't have to be the end of your story. 
 
Quotes from this Episode:
Carl Lentz:
1. "If I can't own it, I can't get the power from change."
2. "It's either all honesty or none."
3. "You cannot heal in isolation."
4. "Forgiveness and trust are two very different things. Forgiveness and access, wildly different things."
5. "Your story doesn't have to end at the worst, hardest chapter."
Laura Lentz:
1. "We've got, we call it marriage 2.0, and it's better than it ever was."
2. "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't go anywhere."
3. "The number one question he still asks me today is, 'How can I make you feel safe today?'"
4. "Him telling me his feelings is one of the greatest things he could do."
5. "I wanted to heal from this. I didn't want to hold that and be like, he's the one that did the wrong."
 
Time to Talk About it: 
1. What stood out to you most from Carl and Laura's story? Was there anything that challenged or changed the way you think about healing and forgiveness?
2. How can we make it easier for each other to be honest about our feelings, struggles, and fears without worrying about being judged or dismissed?
3. What helps each of us feel safe, valued, and secure in our marriage? Are there small, intentional ways we could do a better job of creating that safety for one another?
4. Who are the trusted people or professionals we could turn to if we faced a difficult season in our marriage? How can we make sure we don't try to navigate hard things alone?



Mentioned in This Episode:
Overcoming Infidelity: 10 Conversations to Help Heal the Hurt.

Find Carl and Laura on Instagram

Awesome Marriage has an Online Affair Recovery course to help you navigate the aftermath of infidelity. Use code: AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 10% off the cost of the course. 

Your marriage needs God's Word. Awesome Marriage partners with YouVersion to make it easy for couples to get in the Word together. Check out this plan: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Is your marriage too far gone?
When a marriage has been marked by betrayal, years of unresolved conflict, emotional distance, or simply feeling more like roommates than spouses, it can be hard to imagine things ever getting better. You may have prayed, tried to talk, waited, and wondered if there is anything left to work with.
Today, Dr. Kim tackles that difficult question honestly: Is your marriage too far gone? He talks about the difference between discouragement and hopelessness, what biblical hope looks like when circumstances aren't changing, and why God's idea of redemption may look different than we expect. He also shares what you can do when you're fighting for your marriage but your spouse isn't, and how to invite God into the healing process without trying to control what only God can change.
If your marriage feels broken, heavy, or beyond repair, this conversation is a reminder that your story isn't finished and that your hope can be anchored in who God is, not in what your circumstances look like today.



Episode Highlights
Why hope in God is stronger than optimism about your circumstances.

What redemption really looks like in a struggling marriage.

The habits that invite healing instead of hopelessness.

How to trust God when your marriage feels too far gone.

 
Quotes from this Episode:
"Discouragement says, 'I don't see how this gets better.' Hopelessness says, 'It can't.' The first is a feeling that deserves to be honored. The second is a conclusion that deserves to be challenged."
"No marriage is beyond what God can do. That doesn't mean every marriage is restored the way we picture it, or on the timeline we demand, but it does mean that the God who specializes in resurrection is not intimidated by broken marriage."
"We come to Him asking to fix the relationship. He comes in wanting to transform the people in the relationship."
"Sometimes the miracle is the small movement."
"Optimism says, 'I think this will work out.' Hope says, 'God is faithful regardless of how this works out.'"
"You cannot control your spouse. You cannot manufacture their willingness, love them into change, or pray hard enough to override their free will. Only God can reach the heart of another person."
"If your faith is anchored to who God is, to His character, His faithfulness, His sovereign love for you and for your spouse, that holds. Even when circumstances don't, even when the answer is not yet, even when the story isn't finished."
 
Time to Talk About It:
Have I allowed disappointment to shape my view of my spouse more than God's promises?

What is one area of my marriage that I need to surrender to God instead of trying to control?

What evidence of God's faithfulness can I remember today that reminds me He is still working—even if I can't see it yet?

Mentioned in this Episode:
Don't give up yet. Try our 11 Things to do Before You Get a Divorce.

Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge.

If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series. 

Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. This plan is specifically for struggling marriages: One Foot Out the Door

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Loving Jesus doesn't mean loving your spouse will always be easy. But when loving your spouse becomes really hard, your relationship with Jesus gives you somewhere to go, not somewhere to hide.
Today Dr. Kim is sitting down with Belah Rose of the Delight Your Marriage Podcast to talk about why Christian couples can love Jesus, love each other, and still find themselves feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure of what to do next.
They talk about the impact of our family of origin, learning how to love our spouse in the way they actually receive love, the power of small acts of thoughtfulness, forgiveness, intimacy, and the importance of choosing to work on your marriage instead of simply settling for where it is.
Because a healthy marriage doesn't happen because you never have problems. It happens when you are willing to keep growing, keep communicating, keep forgiving, and keep putting Christ at the center.
If your marriage feels stuck right now, this conversation is a reminder that there are practical steps you can take, and your marriage is worth the work.
 
Top Takeaways:
Being a Christian doesn't automatically make marriage easy. 
Forgiveness frees us to move forward. 
Small choices can change the atmosphere of your marriage. 



Quotes from this Episode:
Belah Rose:
"When you forgive, you set a prisoner free, and then you realize it was you."
Probably the strongest quote in the whole episode.

"It's caring at a level that just shows, 'I love you, I cherish you, and I want you to feel cherished in this marriage.'"

"When people who are stuck finally get it, it feels like they're free. It's like all the boulders and all the stuff on their back kind of falls off."

"So many Christian marriages end up not really knowing how to love the other person, not having a good model, and then feeling like, 'What do I do?'"

"God made us different for a reason. He wanted us to learn from each other and figure it out with His help."

Dr. Kim:
"Marriage isn't going to grow when you're holding on to unforgiveness."
Short, strong, and very Dr. Kim.

"You make such a difference when you walk in that door. You're either going to take things down or you're going to build things up."
Excellent social graphic quote.

"The action steps help you show your spouse that this is real this time. God is changing me."

"We are not the poster couple, and we never will be because we are always working on it. But what we've found is the work gives great rewards."
I really like this one for the Awesome Marriage audience.

"On your way home, pray and give all the people you saw today to God. Put them in His hands. Then start thinking about what your wife and your kids are going to need."

 
Time to Talk About it: 
What is one thing I do that makes you feel loved and cherished? Is there anything you wish I did more often?

Are there any areas where we feel stuck or disconnected right now? What is one small step we could take together to move forward?

Is there anything I need to forgive, or anything I need to ask forgiveness for, that could help us move forward in our marriage?

When you think about the atmosphere of our home, what do you think we are building together? What is one thing we could do differently to make our home more peaceful and connected?

 
Mentioned in this Episode: 
Be encouraged by Bella Rose on the Delight Your Marriage podcast.

Sign up for our daily One Thing email!

Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge.

If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series. 

Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Our newest plan When Love Grows Cold is the perfect encouragement for a marriage that feels stuck. 

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Leadership can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be incredibly lonely. Many leaders know how to build organizations, solve problems, and care for others, but few know how to care for themselves.
In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Todd Vinson, author of Mountains of My Mind, to discuss the internal journey every leader eventually faces. Todd shares the personal crashes that forced him to rethink everything he believed about success, productivity, identity, and leadership. Together they explore why burnout isn't a leadership badge of honor, how self-awareness changes everything, and why leading from God's peace—not pressure—is the only sustainable way to build a lasting legacy.
Whether you lead a ministry, a business, a nonprofit, or simply influence the people around you, this conversation will challenge you to become healthier so you can lead others better.
 
Episode Highlights
Why burnout is often a symptom—not the real problem

How healthy leaders build healthier organizations

The connection between identity, peace, and sustainable leadership

Practical rhythms every leader needs to avoid isolation and lead for the long haul

 
Quotes from This Episode:
Todd Vinson:
"It was never meant to be all up to you. We take on that burden and it's really a badge of honor that we carry."

"If working hard is good, then working harder is better. And I think working harder just got me to the ditch faster."

"My drug of choice was being a workaholic. That's where I got my identity because I was seeking approval."

"Brokenness is a great leveler. It gets you to the end of yourself. And that really, that's what God wants to begin with."

"Peace is a manifestation of that relationship with Christ. It's not dictated by the externals around me."

"There's dying to yourself as it talks about in Scripture and neglecting yourself are two totally different things."

"You've got to have other people to surround you. And that's not weakness. That's just called wisdom."

Dr. Kim:
"I don't think God really needed to rest on the seventh day personally because He's God. But He did. And He set something for us."

"We've got to have a rhythm of rest. We've got to have margin in our lives. And it seems like those are the things that we squeeze out."

"I think a lot of times as guys, we sometimes would discount what our wife might say and not value it in the way that I think our wives have wisdom and insight and discernment in ways that we just don't."

"We weren't created to be a Lone Ranger. We were created to live in a community."

"Life's a good teacher, but the tuition is expensive."