Awesome Marriage Podcast

What does success really look like—and who gets to define it?
In the final episode of this three-part conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer to talk about the subtle ways we drift from our priorities without even realizing it. Together they unpack why saying "yes" to every good opportunity can cost us what matters most, how small daily habits shape the life we're building, and why true success isn't measured by titles or achievements but by living a life that's aligned with your values.
Whether you're feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or simply wondering if you're chasing the right things, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, evaluate what's most important, and take one intentional step toward the life God is calling you to live.
 
Episode Highlights:
Learn how "priority drift" quietly pulls you away from what matters most—and how to stop it.

Why chasing alignment instead of success leads to greater freedom, purpose, and peace.

Simple daily habits that create lasting change, both personally and professionally.

Practical encouragement to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking the next right step.

Quotes from This Episode:
Tom Pfeifer:
"Priority drift doesn't happen all at once. It's one extra meeting, one extra commitment, one extra 'yes.'"

"Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else."

"Success is what other people can see. Alignment is when the life you're living matches the values you say you have."

"The best decision I ever made was to stop chasing success and start chasing alignment."

"Sports are supposed to be fun. You're not going to war."

"So many of the things we worry about are first-world problems."

"Don't quit your job tomorrow. Start stacking proof one day at a time."

"Your habits become discipline, and discipline will always outlast motivation."

"Everyone has the same 24 hours. It's not about having time—it's about the choices you make."

"Just do the thing. Take the first step and let tomorrow build on today."

Dr. Kim Kimberling:
"Culture doesn't pull us away from what matters overnight—it happens one small drift at a time."

"When we say yes to too many good things, we often end up saying no to the people who matter most."

"The hardest part of protecting your priorities is learning to say no."

"You don't always realize you're drifting until you look up and wonder how you got so far from what matters."

"Don't get impatient. Big life changes are built one step at a time."

"Working out changes far more than your body—it changes your confidence and your mindset."

"One day stacked on another becomes a habit, and habits shape the life you live."

"Ask yourself: Are you drifting? And if you are, where is that drift taking you?"

"The best opportunities aren't always the ones that align with your priorities."

"You have to define success for yourself instead of letting culture define it for you."

 
Time to Talk About It: 
Where have you noticed "priority drift" in your own life, and what's one step you can take to realign with what matters most?

How do you currently define success? Has that definition changed over the years?

What's one habit or daily choice that could help you become more intentional with your time, relationships, or calling?

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your spouse thinking, "That's not what I meant at all"? Or wondered why you keep having the same argument over and over again?
The truth is, most couples aren't struggling because they don't love each other, they're struggling because they communicate differently.
In this episode, Dr. Kim is joined by licensed therapist and author Jason Van Ruler to unpack the five communication types and why understanding your spouse's communication style can completely change the way you approach conflict. They talk about why we so often take our differences personally, how stress affects the way we communicate, and why learning to truly listen may be the most powerful thing you can do for your marriage.
If you've ever felt misunderstood or wished your spouse "just got you," this conversation will help you replace frustration with understanding and give you practical tools to communicate in a way that brings you closer instead of pushing you apart.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why communication breaks down—and why it's probably not for the reason you think.

Discover your communication type and learn how it shapes every conversation with your spouse.

Simple shifts that will help you feel more seen, heard, and understood in your marriage.

Stop taking communication differences personally and start using them to grow closer.

 
Quotes from This Episode:
Jason VanRuler
"We aren't very well versed in communicating for connection."

"The more we feel we can't communicate, the more we believe the lie that our spouse must like it that way."

"We're experts in what we meant, but we're not experts in what our spouse experienced."

"Understanding your communication type takes the personal offense out of conflict and helps you ask, 'What did they mean?'"

"A great communicator isn't someone who thinks they're communicating well—it's someone who understands how other people experience them."

"When life gets hard, we all go back to our primary communication style. That's why understanding each other matters most in conflict."

"From birth, we all want to feel seen, heard, and understood."

 
Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Most couples don't know why they struggle to communicate—they just know it creates distance."

"We're fighting our differences instead of embracing them and learning how they can strengthen our marriage."

"Bad communication gets in the way of being a great team."

"When I really learned to listen to Nancy, it changed our marriage."

"Sometimes the simplest advice is the most powerful: let your spouse finish."

"If you attack the problem, you can find a solution. If you dance around it, you'll never solve it."

"The healthiest marriages keep working on communication because every season of life requires new ways of understanding each other."

 
Time to Talk About it:
When do you feel the most heard and understood by me? Is there anything I could do differently to help you feel that way more often?
Which communication style do you think describes each of us best, and how have our differences helped—or challenged—our marriage?
What's one small change we could each make this week to communicate with more grace, patience, and understanding?
 
Mentioned in This Episode:
You need to get your hand on Jason's new book: Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths To Deepen Connections and Stronger Relationships 

Sign up for our daily One Thing email!

Awesome Marriage wants you to grow your communication skills! Try our 30 Day Communication Challenge. 

If communicating about money feels too big to tackle, this will help: 27 Money Questions Every Couple Should Ask.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our Achieving Awesome Communication in Marriage reading plan. Check out it out with your spouse!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Our spouse hears messages every day from the world—criticism, pressure, comparison, and doubt. But what if home became the place where they were reminded of who they are, what they're capable of, and how deeply they're loved?
In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about the power of encouragement in marriage and why your words carry more weight than anyone else's. They share personal stories from their own marriage, practical ways to encourage your spouse authentically, and how couples can replace patterns of criticism with a culture of support. Whether your marriage is thriving or you've fallen into a habit of negativity, this conversation will challenge you to become your spouse's greatest encourager.

 
Quotes from this Episode:
Dr. Kim
"I don't care what anyone else thinks. Hearing your encouragement makes all the difference in the world."

"When your spouse gets more encouragement from someone else than from you, there's a void in the marriage."

"Your encouragement is meant to build your spouse up, not put them in the box you want them to fit in."

"The more you become a student of your spouse, the more you'll know how to encourage them in ways that truly matter."

"When I ask God to help me see you through His eyes, I'm flooded with good things to tell you."

"When you see yourselves as a team, encouragement becomes part of how you do life together."

 
Mrs. Nancy
"Your spouse is the most important person in your life. What they say carries more weight than anyone else's words."

"Sometimes we simply need our spouse to say, 'You can do this.' Those words can make all the difference."

"Living in a fallen world makes negativity come naturally, but that's not how God designed our marriages."

"Specific encouragement is powerful because it reminds your spouse of the unique gifts and strengths God has given them."

"A look or a tone can discourage just as much as words."

"When I pray for you, it changes my heart. It changes the way I see you."

 
Time to Talk About it:
When do you feel the most encouraged by me? What specific words or actions help you feel seen, valued, and believed in?

Have criticism or negativity become a habit in any area of our marriage? What's one intentional way we can replace those patterns with encouragement this week?

How can I better support what God is doing in your life instead of trying to shape you into who I think you should be?

 
Mentioned in this Episode:
Sign up for our daily One Thing email!

Struggling with your attitude toward your spouse? Find it hard to encourage someone you feel disconnected from? Our Reframing Challenge will help!

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage . Check it out with your spouse!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Have you ever sincerely apologized to your spouse but felt like you were still paying for the mistake weeks or even months later? Or maybe you're the one carrying a hurt that just won't seem to heal, even though you've chosen to forgive.
In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the important differences between forgiveness, healing, and trust—and why they don't all happen on the same timeline. He shares practical encouragement for both the spouse who has apologized and the spouse who is still hurting, offering biblical wisdom and realistic next steps for rebuilding trust, extending grace, and moving toward genuine healing together.
 
Episode Takeaways:
Forgiveness is a standard and it's a choice. 
Wounds take time to heal. 
Trust is rebuilt through behavior, not just an apology. 
There's a difference between a lingering hurt and using a past hurt as leverage. 
Don't give up on one another. 
Let your actions carry the weight!
 
Quotes from this episode:
"You can't control your spouse's healing timeline. You can control whether you're showing up with humility and consistency."
"Suppressed pain almost always surfaces later—usually at the worst possible moment and in the worst possible way."
"The question isn't whether your spouse has forgiven you. The question might be whether you're giving them the space and time to heal."
"Real healing requires honesty, not performance."
"They chose honesty over pretending. They chose forgiveness over bitterness. And God honored that."
 
Time to Talk About it: 
When you've been hurt by each other, do we tend to expect forgiveness, healing, and trust to happen at the same pace? How might understanding the difference between those three change the way we respond to one another?

Is there an apology from the past that still feels unresolved for either of us? What would help us continue moving toward healing without reopening old wounds or keeping score?

What's one practical way each of us can help rebuild trust this week—whether that's through consistent actions, honest communication, or extending grace?




Mentioned in this Episode:
Sign up for our daily One Thing email!

If trust has been broken in your marriage, and you need a place to start, check out our Rebuilding Trust Challenge.

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our Learning to Apologize Well reading plan. Check it out with your spouse!

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage—but it doesn't have to be.
In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with financial coaches Dan and Kay Ockey to talk about why money is so much more than numbers. They unpack how family backgrounds, emotions, communication, and faith all shape the way couples handle finances. You'll also hear practical steps for getting on the same page, creating healthy financial habits, and replacing fear with faithful stewardship.
Whether you're trying to pay off debt, build a budget, or simply have better conversations about money, this episode will encourage you to work as a team and steward what God has entrusted to you with confidence and purpose.

 
Episode Highlights:
Money is emotional. Learn how your past influences the way you spend, save, and give today.
Communication changes everything. Discover why a simple weekly financial check-in can strengthen your marriage.
Budgets create freedom, not limitations. Learn practical tools for managing money together with confidence.
Stewardship starts with trust. See how viewing your finances through God's perspective can bring greater peace and purpose.



Quotes from this Episode:
Dr. Kim Kimberling
"Money can quietly create stress and distance in a marriage if we're not intentional."

"Take a chance. Throw caution to the wind and say, 'God, I'm all in.' You'll see Him show up."

"A budget doesn't restrict your freedom—it gives you freedom because you know where your money is going."

"Your kids are watching your marriage. The way you steward your relationship becomes their textbook for the future."

 
Dan Ockey
"Most couples agree on where they want to go—they just disagree on how to get there."

"Everything we have belongs to God. Isn't it worth taking 20 minutes each week to talk about how we're stewarding it?"

"Data over drama. Acknowledge the emotions, then let the numbers show you reality."

"When we approach money with fear, we make fear-based decisions. When we approach it with faith, we become better stewards."

"The long-term consequences of hiding financial struggles are far worse than the short-term pain of an honest conversation."

 
Kay Ockey
"Money isn't just dollars and cents. There's so much emotion underneath every financial decision."

"The timing of your communication is huge. Don't spring financial conversations on your spouse."

"A simple weekly financial check-in can completely change the way you communicate about money."

"Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you automatically know how to handle money. It's a skill that can be learned."

"When you're overwhelmed, don't lose sight of having a goal that gives you hope and something to work toward together."


 
Time to Talk About it:
What messages about money did you learn growing up, and how do they still influence the way you handle finances today?

How can we create a regular time to talk about money so it feels like we're working together instead of against each other?

What is one financial goal we can begin pursuing together this month that would strengthen both our marriage and our trust in God?

 
Mentioned in This Episode:
Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

Money doesn't have to bring tension to your marriage. Check out the Money Masterclass with Dan and Kay

Check in weekly with your spouse.

27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse need encouragement to steward your money in marriage well. Check out Biblical Wisdom for Money in Marriage.

If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!