Codependency, Control, and the Illusion of Being Needed
The Hard Truth About Being "The Helper" (And Why It's Keeping You Stuck)
In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on one of the most misunderstood patterns in relationships: codependency.
If you've ever felt exhausted from being "the strong one," guilty when you prioritize yourself, or frustrated when someone doesn't take your advice, this conversation is for you.
I break down how codependency masquerades as love but is actually a hidden form of control—and how the need to be needed keeps both you and the people you care about stuck.
You'll learn to recognize the subtle daily patterns that signal codependency, from checking your phone for someone else's emotional weather to canceling your own plans when someone seems "off."
Then, I walk you through the practice of detachment with love—caring deeply while releasing your grip on outcomes.
This isn't about being cold or distant. It's about trusting that others have their own path, their own lessons, and their own capacity to grow.
I share practical steps like setting real boundaries (yes, you can not respond to every text), tolerating discomfort, and offering support without attachment.
Finally, we dive into personal responsibility and emotional independence.
You'll discover how to build your own sense of meaning that doesn't depend on being needed, practice self-compassion with the same kindness you give others, and reclaim the energy you've been pouring into everyone else's lives.
🔗 Links Mentioned in This Episode
🎧 Related Episode: Why Your Inner Voice Is So Mean — And How It Affects Your Recovery
💬 Coaching with Angela: Book a Free Solution Call
👥 Community: Join us in the Facebook group
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The One Tool That Transformed My Sobriety (and Still Does)
The Same Tool Used by Olympic Athletes & Top Performers to Change Your Life
If you’ve ever wondered how elite athletes, top entrepreneurs, and high-performers create insane results… this is it.
And no — it’s not woo, it’s not wishful thinking, and it’s not pretending life is perfect.
It’s science.
And when you learn to use it to rewire your subconscious, override old limiting beliefs, and shift the way you feel about your life… everything changes.
Here’s the wild part:
Science says 95% of your brain activity is unconscious.
That means almost everything you do — your habits, reactions, decisions, fears, beliefs — is driven by the part of your mind you don’t even realize is in control.
It’s running old programs.Old stories.Old beliefs you didn’t choose.
So the question becomes:
How do you work with your subconscious mind to rewrite those stories so you can get MORE of what you want in life… and LESS of what you don’t?
This episode breaks the whole thing down for you.
You’ll learn:
👉 The neuroscience behind why visualization works(And why your brain treats imagined events like real ones)
👉 How your Reticular Activating System filters your entire life(And how to reprogram it so it works for you)
👉 Why fear + anxiety are just negative visualizations(and how to interrupt that pattern instantly)
👉 A super-simple visualization process you can start todayNo crystals. No chanting. No drama. Just actual science you can use right now.
If you’ve been stuck in the start–stop cycle… doubting yourself… or fighting the same old patterns over and over…
This tool changes everything.
Grab your headphones and let’s dive in, my friend — you’re going to love this one.
🔗 Links Mentioned
Book a Call With Angela: https://addictionunlimited.com/call
Join the Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited
Grab the Daily Plan Worksheet: https://addictionunlimited.com/plan
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34:21
Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Anxiety: The Patterns Keeping You Stuck After Sobriety
You Might Be a Perfectionist (And It’s Stealing Your Peace)
If you’re constantly overthinking, procrastinating, or beating yourself up for not doing “enough” — this episode is going to hit home.
Because perfectionism isn’t about having high standards.It’s about control, fear, and anxiety — and it’s quietly running your life behind the scenes.
In this episode, we’re exposing how perfectionism shows up in real life (even if you don’t think you’re a perfectionist), where it really comes from, and how to start breaking the cycle.
If you’ve ever said:
“I just want it to be good…”
“I’ll start when I feel ready…”
“I can’t screw this up…”
…then this one’s for you.
🔥 What You’ll Learn:
Why perfectionism is actually a coping mechanism for anxiety
How it shows up as procrastination, irritability, people-pleasing, and control
Why so many high-functioning sober people feel stuck — even years into recovery
How to spot the perfectionist pattern before it steals your peace
6 powerful mindset and structure shifts to move forward without the shame spiral
You’ll also hear a personal story from me that cracked this wide open — and gave me a whole new lens on my own fear and vulnerability.
If this episode called you out in the best way, share it with a friend, and DM me on Instagram!
💥 Mentioned in this Episode:
🔥 Book a Free Call with Angela --> addictionunlimited.com/call
👉 The Daily Plan to Stay SoberYour daily structure to regulate anxiety, create momentum, and keep your head clear — one page, five minutes, every day.
🛍️ Cozy Earth — Early Black Friday Sale!Get up to 40% off sitewide + stack my code ANGELA at checkout.Shop now at CozyEarth.com
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Why You Keep Making Bad Decisions (Even When You Know Better)
You already know better.So why do you keep saying yes to what you’ll regret tomorrow?
In this episode, Angela gets brutally honest about why you keep making decisions that don’t align with who you want to be — and how instant gratification is keeping you stuck in the cycle.
This isn’t just about drinking.It’s about how you handle discomfort.Fear, frustration, boredom, anxiety — you’ve trained your brain to escape instead of lead.
And that habit?It’s wrecking your confidence, your progress, and your peace.
Inside this episode:
How instant gratification fuels bad decisions (even sober ones)
Why your “first thought” is often the wrong one — and what to do instead
What real commitment looks like when you want to protect your peace
The power of delayed gratification — and how it builds self-trust
You don’t need more willpower.You need structure, discipline, and the courage to lead yourself differently.
🔗 Links List
📅 Book a Free Consultation Callhttps://addictionunlimited.com/call
💬 Join the Facebook Group (Sober Society)https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited
📝 Download my Free Daily Planhttps://addictionunlimited.com/plan
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28:39
If You’re Wondering “Can I Drink Again?”… Listen to This First
If you're thinking about drinking again — that's the clearest sign you still can't.
Maybe you’ve been sober for a while… and you’re starting to wonder if you could handle drinking again.If that thought has crossed your mind — I want you to pause right here and hit play on this episode.
We’re talking about the subtle signs that tell you everything you need to know about your relationship with alcohol — even now.
In this episode, I’m sharing the addict traits that still show up in my life after almost 20 years sober — and how they confirm, without a doubt, that I’m not someone who can ever drink normally.
We’ll talk about:
The "more" mentality — when enough is never enough
Overthinking and rumination (AKA emotional avoidance)
Feeling “less than” no matter how much you accomplish
Being extra in everyday ways (and what that really means)
Why avoiding hard things in sobriety is just as dangerous as numbing them
And we’ll bring it all back to the biggest red flag of all:Just how much mental energy you’re spending thinking about alcohol.
You’ll hear the truth about the addict personality: how it still shows up in overthinking, overdoing, compulsive patterns, and that constant hunger for “more.”
Because if you’re fantasizing, negotiating, or justifying a future where you might drink again... that’s not healing. That’s the addiction, whispering in a different voice.
🔗 Links List
📅 Book a Free Consultation Callhttps://addictionunlimited.com/call
💬 Join the Facebook Group (Sober Society)https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited
📝 Download the Free Daily Planhttps://addictionunlimited.com/plan
Are you ready to ditch daily drinking, reclaim your confidence, and create a life of freedom? Each week, Angela combines no-nonsense advice, personal stories, and science-backed strategies to tackle the challenges of sobriety. Angela Pugh is a globally-ranked Life Coach and podcast host, a professional Interventionist, and entrepreneur with more than 18 years of personal sobriety, helping people rebuild their lives since 2008. From navigating relationships to managing triggers, you’ll discover practical tools, empowering insights, and real-world solutions to thrive in sobriety. It’s time to stop feeling stuck and start feeling unlimited. Listen now for the inspiration, tools, and support you need to live a sober, confident, and happy life.
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