Addiction Unlimited Podcast

The 4-Stage Recovery Roadmap and What to Work on at Each Stage

If you’re feeling stuck or confused about where you are in your sobriety and what you should actually be working on, this episode is for you.

I see it all the time: people trying to fix everything at once, or trying to skip ahead to the deep emotional work when they haven’t even built a stable foundation yet.

And then they relapse. Or they burn out. Or they just stay stuck in the same patterns.

Today, I’m breaking down the four stages of recovery—what you should be focusing on at each stage, and why you can’t skip ahead.

Here’s the thing: the timelines I’m giving you are general guidelines. They’re not rules.

For me, I spent way more time in Stage 2. I needed that time. But Stage 3 went faster for me because I loved that part of my process —it was hands down my favorite part of the steps.

So don’t get hung up on the timeline.

What matters is that you’re doing the work required in each stage before you move on to the next one. You get out of this exactly what you put into it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

–>  3:17: What Stage 1 actually looks like—and why the only goal is “don’t drink today”

–>  6:03: How to navigate Stage 2 when you’re asking “Who am I without alcohol?”

–>  11:05: Why Stage 3 is about rebuilding what matters and letting go of what doesn’t

–>  14:11: What it means to shift from surviving to thriving in Stage 4

–>  16:50: Why you absolutely cannot skip stages—and what happens when you try

Listen in and figure out where you are right now. Then focus on the work that actually matters at this stage—so you can build a life so powerful, so clear, so good that you’ll never want to leave it.

 

LINKS MENTIONED:

Recovery Starter Kit

Book a Free Consultation Call: addictionunlimited.com/call

Episode 421 – Overwhelmed by Sobriety Advice, Here’s How to Actually Start

Cozy Earth – Use code ANGELA for 20% off

You know what’s keeping you from getting sober? All the advice telling you how to get sober.

Everyone’s got a different rulebook.

The old-timers say meetings every day, get a sponsor immediately, work the steps to a tee.

People like me say do it your way—you don’t have to follow the doctrine perfectly.

And newer recovery voices are teaching completely different avenues to recovery.

And you’re stuck in the middle, just trying to figure out how to get through today without a drink, paralyzed by all these options, wondering which path is “right.”

Here’s the truth nobody’s telling you: There is no wrong way.

I’m giving you the three universal foundations that every strong sobriety is built on, and showing you how to stop waiting for permission and just start.

You’ll learn:

Why success rates prove the program doesn’t decide—YOU do (and what recent research actually shows)

The three universal foundations every strong sobriety is built on

How to pick your path when everyone’s telling you something different

What to actually DO today to start building your sobriety

Remember, a program doesn’t determine your success. You do.

A program doesn’t work or not work.

YOU work. YOU show up, do the things, follow guidance… or you don’t.

Your success is your decision.

In this episode, I’m cutting through all the noise and breaking down exactly what you need to start your recovery journey today—no matter which path or program you choose.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EISODE

Free Download: Daily Plan

→ Recovery Starter Kit

Step-by-step lessons, worksheets, checklists, and conversation starters for the hard talks. Walks you through building the three foundations with actual tools, not just concepts.

Book a Call

→ addictionunlimited.com/call

Not sure where you are or what level of support you need? Let’s talk. We’ll figure out what’s the right fit for you right now.

Related Episode:

Episode 418: You’re Not Doing the Work, You’re Just Watching Other People Do It

 

You quit drinking. So why do you still have all the same problems?

You quit drinking. That’s huge. But if you’re sitting there wondering why you still have all the same problems you had when you were drinking – I can tell you exactly why.

Drinking was never the actual problem. It was a symptom.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the difference between sobriety (removing alcohol) and recovery (healing the patterns underneath the behavior).

Because putting down the drink is just the starting line, not the finish line.

We talk about why you’re still making the same shitty choices (just without alcohol), the patterns keeping you stuck that have nothing to do with drinking, how to identify what you’re actually feeling when emotions are totally foreign, and the one thing that separates people who heal from people who stay stuck.

Here’s the truth: most people think quitting drinking is the finish line. It’s not.

Sobriety removes alcohol. Recovery heals the patterns.

If you quit drinking but you’re still people-pleasing, self-sabotaging, avoiding discomfort, or reacting emotionally to everything – you’re just living your drinking life without alcohol.

Same patterns, same problems, just without the numbing agent.

This one’s raw, real, and no fluff. Just the truth about what it actually takes to heal.

In this episode, I share:

3:30: Why drinking is only a symptom of bigger problems

8:03: The patterns you need to heal (and how to identify them)

13:14: What to do when you can’t even recognize what you’re feeling

15:10: Why action – not information – is what actually changes your life

Listen in, and if you’re ready to take big action and get big results, I have three coaching spots open this month. Book a call at addictionunlimited.com/call.

And check out this episode about how presence is not equal to participation:

You’re Not Doing the Work — You’re Just Watching Other People Do It

Everything you need to know about why sobriety alone isn’t enough – and what real recovery actually looks like.

Listen, I see this pattern ALL the time with the people I work with.

They quit drinking, they think they’ve done the hard part, and then a few weeks or months in… they’re confused.

They’re disappointed. They’re thinking, “Is THIS what the rest of my life is going to be like?”

And the answer is: only if you stop here.

Sobriety is quitting. Recovery is healing. And the only way to stay sober – the only way to actually build a life you love – is to do the healing work

Most people quit drinking hoping sobriety won’t be too inconvenient.

They want the same life.The same relationships.The same routines.Just… without alcohol.

And at first, it works. You feel better. Clearer. Less foggy.

But then — weeks or months in — the feelings come back.

Anxiety.Overwhelm.Anger.Fear.

All the things alcohol was quietly managing for you? They’re still there. And now they’re loud because you aren’t numbing them anymore.

That doesn’t mean sobriety is failing.It means your nervous system is healing.

Today, I’m sitting down with Michael Z, who has 30 years of sobriety.

And let me tell you, this conversation is GOLD.

Michael is old-school AA, incredibly honest, and he shares exactly what it was really like in early sobriety and what it takes to build a life you actually want to live long-term.

Because recovery isn’t a destination — it’s a practice.

If you’re newly sober and struggling – if you’re thinking “why is this so hard?” or “I thought things would be better by now” – you’re not doing it wrong.

You’re just in the gap. The gap between sobriety and recovery.

Grab your headphones, get comfortable, and let’s talk about what it really takes to stay sober.

Trust me, this conversation is going to give you the clarity and the roadmap you need to move forward.

If you’re done white-knuckling, overthinking, or feeling stuck in that miserable middle — and you want real support to build a solid recovery foundation — I can help.

👉 Book a call with me and let’s talk about what support would actually move you forward.

Connect with me:

Instagram:  @addictionunlimited

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Michael Z’s book: The Wisdom of the Rooms (daily recovery quotes and reflections)

Michael Z’s book: The Twelve Steps of Modern Hero’s Journey (recovery through the hero’s journey framework)

Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Recovery doesn’t happen in isolation – and neither does healing.

Reading about sobriety isn’t the same as doing the work to get sober.

If you feel like you’re doing everything for your sobriety—but nothing is actually changing—this episode is for you.

And trust me, there’s a huge difference!

Here’s the thing: when I got sober, the landscape looked completely different.

There were no podcasts, no endless library of quit lit books, no free challenges.

But today? You can fill every spare moment with sobriety content.

And while that’s amazing in so many ways, it’s also created something I see over and over: people who mistake presence for participation.

They’re reading books, listening to podcasts, signing up for challenges, even showing up to meetings – but they’re not actually engaging.

They’re just… there.

And that’s how people stay stuck for years—busy, informed, and still drinking.

So in this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what it means to shift from passive presence to active participation.

Because that shift?

That’s where real transformation happens.

I dive into:

3:48 – Why passive sobriety feels like progress but quietly keeps you stuck8:30 – The false comfort of other people’s stories vs. doing your own work13:12 – How to tell if you’re participating… or just observing17:36 – Why only showing up for celebration hurts your recovery (this one stings)19:56 – What real participation looks like—and why the same people succeed21:49 – Simple ways to start participating today, even if you’re uncomfortable

Tune in and get ready to shift from being present in your recovery to actually participating in it.

Because that’s where the magic happens, my friend.

And I promise you’re capable of it – right now, exactly as you are.

If you’re done consuming recovery content and ready to actually change, Sober Society is where that happens.

Join us in Sober Society for just $27/month! We’ve got meetings throughout the week (and we’re adding more in February, including a meditation meeting!).

This is a place where people actually show up, support each other, and do the work together.

Find all the details at addictionunlimited.com/society

Schedule a call to work with me at addictionunlimited.com/call