125 episodes
125. Healing Your Marriage After Sexual Betrayal: The 3 Phases of Relational Recovery
2026/09/01 | 56 mins.Healing your marriage after sexual betrayal is a painful, chaotic, and confusing time for couples. The good news is that there are predictable phases that most couples go through along the road to repair.
In this episode, I am joined by Matthey and Joanna Raabsmith. They have developed a model that helps couples heal after betrayal.
Their model follows three phases of healing. Each phase requires a different relational dynamic to facilitate connection, safety, and trust. In this podcast episode, we discuss all three in detail to help couples ensure that they are honoring the nuances of each phase.
Sex addiction and healing a marriage post-infidelity can be overwhelming. Having a model that you can reference is often very helpful to ensure that you are doing all you can to recover.
If you are interested in joining the Raabsmiths' upcoming couples retreat in October, use this link: https://renewingusretreats.com/
I talk about this in great detail in my book: “The High-Achievers Guide To Sex Addiction Recovery.” You can find it here, both in paper copy and on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
If you are a high-achiever, business owner, executive, or entrepreneur and you are looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website here: https://successfuladdict.com/- If you are more than 6 months into your sex addiction recovery, you should listen to this episode.
When men first begin their recovery journey, they have no idea what to do or how this happened. So, why would you assume that you have developed the best recovery and sobriety plan?
It’s always a good idea to revisit your recovery plan and make sure that it will work.
The sex addiction relapse rate is very high. But it doesn't need to be.
In this episode, I will talk about how to reexamine your recovery plan and make sure you’re not missing anything that will cause you to relapse down the road.
If you have not yet read my book “The High-Achievers Guide To Sex Addiction Recovery”, you can find it here both in paper copy and on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
If you want more information on joining one of my recovery groups, visit my website here: https://successfuladdict.com/ - Research shows that people who label themselves as an “addict” recover less quickly.
In this episode, Tyler Patrick from The Therapy Brothers Podcast joins me to talk about identity and how it relates to sex addiction and betrayal recovery.
The concept of personal Identity is deep and very difficult to comprehend, mostly because you are always operating from a place of identity. It’s like a fish never knowing what water is because they are always surrounded by it.
Despite being difficult to understand, if you want to achieve long-term recovery and avoid relapse, you need get an idea of how you see yourself.
This concept applies to sex addicts, betrayed partners, and the couple.
Listen to this episode, as Tyler and I will help you peel back the layers of this complex onion called identity.
For those who want to access the resource that Tyler mentioned in the podcast, use this link: therapybrothers.ORG/successful-addict
I discuss the concept of identity in the recovery chapter of my book. You can find my book here on Amazon and the audiobook on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
If you’re a high-achiever, executive, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group tailored to your unique process addiction, go to my website here: https://successfuladdict.com/ - Out of all the things I have seen lead to sex addiction relapse, this is the big one:
Men shaming themselves by accident.
I get it… when you have done things you never thought that you would. And when you have hurt your wife in ways that will change her forever. It’s easy to beat yourself up. I know I did.
But, we know that shame is the #1 killer in sex addiction recovery. So, we need to be careful HOW we beat ourselves up.
In this episode, I talk about how to navigate the balance between remorse and shame.
I also talk about self-forgiveness and what you need to be cautious of that may lead you to relapse.
You cannot shame someone into changing. And you cannot shame yourself into change.
Focus on HOW you allowed this to happen and WHY you compromised your integrity. You will get far more out of recovery this way than focusing on shameful behavior.
I talk about shame a lot in my book. The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction. You can find it here on Amazon and Audible: https://a.co/d/0139OJz5
If you’re a high-achiever, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website to fill out an application: https://successfuladdict.com/ - Dayle Brenner and I talk about what we both agree is THE KEY to long-term sex addiction sobriety.
Dayle is a certified sex addiction therapist, and she is passionate about creating lasting change.
She and I both have no interest in helping men get sober… we want to see them recover.
Sex addiction recovery will not work if you are just checking off the boxes. Your recovery needs to become something that you are convicted about.
Like entrepreneurship, conviction is what differentiates the average and those who excel.
In this episode, we talk about how someone becomes convicted in their sex addiction recovery and where to start if you aren’t yet convicted.
If you want to reach Dayle, her website is here: https://www.daylebrennerwild.com/
If you have not yet read my book, I talk a lot about convicted recovery and the steps required to step into it. My book can be found here on Amazon and the audiobook on Audible: https://a.co/d/0j6eRiQR
If you want more information on joining one of my recovery groups, visit my website here: https://successfuladdict.com/
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About The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs
Sex addiction recovery is different for high-achievers and entrepreneurs. Their brains are hard-wired for success and a constant desire for more. It is this hard-wiring that makes them so successful. However, it can also get them into trouble. Their need for attention, validation, novelty, and excitement places them at high risk for sex and porn addiction.Sex addiction presents differently in high-achievers. Therefore, their road to recovery will also need to be unique. This podcast is designed to help high-achieving men overcome their sex and porn addiction so that they can achieve recovery… not just sobriety.As difficult as sex addiction and betrayal trauma are to overcome, there are a ton of highly effective strategies now available to achieve long-term sobriety and save your marriage. On this podcast, I will bring in industry experts to apply sex addiction recovery principles specifically to the mindset of the high-achiever.If you are a high-achiever or entrepreneur looking for a sex addiction recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website at successfuladdict.com
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