That Twin Mama Podcast

Raising mixed race kids means handing them language nobody ever handed you. Lauren was raised on the rule that if you're a little bit Black, you're all Black. It was pride and it was survival. But her three kids are mixed, her twins look nothing alike, and the binary she inherited doesn't stretch to fit them.
She was five or six the first time a kid made her race a punchline. On the school bus, in front of everyone, a boy asked whether she was Black because she'd rubbed poop on her face. She laughed along, went home, closed her bedroom door, and never told a single person. Not her babysitter. Not her mother, who is hearing this story for the first time on this episode.
Her family talked about race constantly. That wasn't the gap. The gap was that it always came as a comparison, one side up and one side down. And her kids are literally both.
Dr. Jennifer Noble is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Free To Be Collective, an organization dedicated to helping interracial couples and non-traditional families raise mixed race children with a secure, confident identity. She works specifically with mixed race teens and their parents, and she knows this territory personally as well as clinically, because she's mixed race herself.
Dr. Jenn tells Lauren what's missing from identifying her kids as solely black and what happens the afternoon a classmate says "but I saw your white dad drop you off."

YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT
• What "monoracial parent" means, and why naming yourself is the first step toward closing the gap
• Why saying "mixed race" out loud matters more than any speech you're planning
• Adding "and mixed" without subtracting an ounce of Black pride
• Phenotype, white presenting kids, and why siblings in the same house move through the world differently
• How early to start, and how to talk to a five-year-old about race without dropping the whole history on them
• How to turn a stranger's double take at the restaurant into your kid's lesson
• The family drawing where Lauren's daughter gave her dad an X, and what Dr. Jenn says to do before you react
• "That's your white side" jokes, and the question that tells you whether they're coming from connection or ignorance
• Why racial identity resurfaces hard at fourteen, and why teenagers rebel against it the same way they rebel against church
• The thing Dr. Jenn stops the conversation to correct at the very end

TAKEAWAYS
Name it to close it. If you're monoracial, say so, out loud, to yourself first. You could walk into either grandmother's house and know the rules. Your child cannot.
Add, don't replace. "You're Black" grounds a kid. "You're Black and mixed" grounds them and arms them for the day someone tries to disqualify them.
Your discomfort is the assignment. Feeling like an outsider in a room is a small taste of what your child navigates constantly.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
"Chocolate Me" by Taye Diggs https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250068010/?coliid=I39N3HPSJ4NNP0&colid=PWBSW17T2J62&psc=1&ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_lstpd_FVHVKNAKAE6F5A66XKR2
Dr. Jenn's book list, 30+ Books You Need for Your Mixed Race Kid: https://freetobe.myflodesk.com/booklist30
Chicago Non-profit for Hair Lessons https://styles4kidz.org/join

WITH THANKS
Cold open footage featured with permission from @dennyelizabethwalker.

FIND DR. JENNIFER NOBLE
Instagram: instagram.com/drjennpsych
Website: FreeToBeCollective.com

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Stay Connected:
Podcast Website: www.thattwinmama.com
Follow on Instagram: @thattwinmamapodcast

Episode Credits:
Production: Berty Productions
Editing: Nomadic Orca
Photo: Birch Thomas
Design: Erin Fox Creative

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Before Codie Elaine Oliver ever had her twins, she had names picked out for the ones she didn't have yet — Mariah and Shania. Before I had mine, I used to joke that if I ever got pregnant again, I'd "pull a Beyoncé" and have twins. Neither of us believed it would actually happen. Then a doctor told me I likely couldn't have more kids at all. And then it was twins — for both of us.
This week I'm sharing my interview on the Mama's Den Podcast — a conversation recorded in person with Codie on the Disney Destiny, the first time we'd ever actually been in the same room after she'd already been a guest on my own show. By the time we sat down on the deck of that amazing cruise ship, we were deep into confessions: manifestation, motherhood, and the stuff twin moms don't usually say out loud.
We get into it: my doctor's exact words before the twins that changed everything, the "joke" that came true — for both of us — what it's really like going from one kid to three, and the stage of twin parenting nobody warns you about.
Normal episodes return in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, go check out the Mama's Den Podcast wherever you listen.

In this episode:
How Lauren became "That Twin Mama" — including being told by a doctor she likely couldn't have more kids, then finding out she was pregnant with twins
Manifesting twins — both hosts had jokingly "called" twins before it happened (Lauren's "pull a Beyoncé" bit; Codie's imaginary twin girls Mariah and Shania)
Going from one kid to three — navigating the 10-year age gap between Lauren's son Jackson and her twin girls
Being diagnosed/told you can't conceive — then defying the odds
The stages of twin parenting — what gets easier and when (holding their own bottles, independent eating, walking stairs, playing independently)
Protecting the older sibling's identity — not making Jackson a built-in babysitter; keeping him from being overshadowed
Postpartum mental health awareness — how the conversation has evolved since Lauren had Jackson in 2010
Going from career to content creator — Lauren's 10-year run at Teach For America and how the pandemic sparked her pivot
Raising grounded kids despite elevated experiences — gratitude, values, and the Disney Destiny cruise
The mother-daughter healing dynamic — how Lauren's twin girls are mirroring and healing her own complicated relationship with her mother

Lauren's first interview with Codie: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/72-navigating-motherhood-and-marriage-with/id1720436427?i=1000701676585
The Mama's Den Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mamas-den/id1616159115
Lauren's podcast episodes from the Disney Destiny:
https://youtu.be/9bM4SZfWSBE?si=BBLf-D6ey86YVUhz
https://youtu.be/c_2ugErZMQY?si=VUxqjLK4Tw62_Q6h

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🎧 Podcast Website: www.thattwinmama.com/podcast
📲 Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thattwinmamapodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thattwinmama_/

Credits:
Production, Editing, & Music: Berty Enterprises
Photo: Birch Thomas
Design: Erin Fox Creative

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"Why aren’t we having sex anymore?" It’s the question so many parents think but never say out loud. In this episode, Lauren gets brutally honest about pretending to be asleep rather than let the possibility of sex enter the room — and brings in award-winning sex therapist Marissa Nelson (Intimacy Moons) to unpack what’s actually happening underneath.
They talk about the invisible mental load that kills desire, why "sexual ecology" matters more than just being "in the mood," the real difference between low desire and asexuality, why vacation sex feels effortless while date-night sex can feel like pressure, and how couples quietly drift from lovers into "besties but not lovers." The takeaway: you are not broken — you’re buried. And there’s a way back.

Topics covered:
The mental load: why it’s the real intimacy killer
Sexual ecology: why desire isn’t a switch you flip
Postpartum, perimenopause, and what hormones actually do to desire
"Am I asexual now?" — how to tell the difference
Don’t reject, redirect: a better way to say no
The vacation-sex paradox: why time away feels easier than date night
Spectatoring: the "oscillating fan" in your head during sex
The desire model: discovery, embodiment, safety, repair, eroticism
Besties but not lovers: how couples drift into the roommate zone
Scheduling intimacy without it feeling like a meeting
Why anticipation matters more than people think

Marissa Nelson, LMFT, is an award-winning licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and the founder of Intimacy Moons. She works privately with couples, leads luxury couples retreats, and hosts The Lover’s Society podcast.
Tired Mom's Guide to Good Intimacy: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hLAkqv5fzexP6Gj2pIn89L8r9vc76Qw6/view?usp=sharing
Intimacy Moons (Marissa’s site): https://www.intimacymoons.com/
Marissa on Instagram: @xomarissanelson https://www.instagram.com/xomarissanelson
The Lover’s Society podcast: https://www.instagram.com/theloverssocietypodcast/
Roommates to Lovers course: https://www.intimacymoons.com/post/couples-intimacy-workshops-roommates-to-lovers
Marissa’s TEDx talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BStyDbtqAJY

📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThatTwinMama/videos
🎧 Podcast Website: www.thattwinmama.com/podcast
📲 Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thattwinmamapodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thattwinmama_/

Credits:
Production: Berty Enterprises
Editing: Nomadic Orca
Music: Far Eye House
Photo: Birch Thomas
Design: Erin Fox Creative

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A healthy baby does not always mean a mother felt heard, supported, or included in her birth experience.
In this episode, Lauren shares the very different stories of giving birth to her son at 23 and later delivering her twin daughters during the pandemic. She reflects on being dismissed during her first labor, experiencing procedures without meaningful explanation or consent, and later discovering how different birth can feel when a provider treats you as an active participant in your care.
Lauren is joined by board-certified OBGYN, author, educator, and founder of Every Body, Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald, also known as Dr. Every Woman. Together, they discuss medical consent, provider bias, birth advocacy, episiotomies, C-sections, breech twin deliveries, home birth risks, postpartum care, and what it looks like to find a provider who truly listens.
They also explore why advocacy does not have to mean entering the room ready for a fight. It can start with asking informed questions, expecting clear explanations, and building a relationship based on mutual respect.
In This Episode
The difference between a healthy outcome and a supported birth experience
Why consent matters throughout labor, delivery, and routine care
Questions to ask when choosing an OBGYN
Episiotomies, C-sections, and breech twin deliveries
How to speak up when something feels wrong postpartum
The role of doulas and midwives
Home birth risks and the importance of understanding complications
Perimenopause, irregular periods, and knowing when to seek care

Key Takeaway
Your provider may have medical expertise, but you still have agency. You deserve to understand what is happening to your body, ask questions, and participate in every decision.
About Dr. Wendy
Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald is a board-certified OBGYN, author, educator, and founder of Every Body. Known online as Dr. Every Woman, she makes women’s health approachable, informative, and easier to talk about.
Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at @DrEveryWoman.
Shop Every Bodi products at https://everybodibrand.com, and visit her website at https://dreverywoman.com/.
This episode includes detailed discussions of childbirth, birth trauma, postpartum injury, pregnancy loss, and maternal health complications.

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After taking a much-needed break, Lauren is back for Season 3 of That Twin Mama—and this season gets even deeper.
Motherhood has changed. Our kids are growing. Life has shifted. And with those changes came a simple but powerful question:
What do I actually want?
In this season premiere, Lauren opens up about why she stepped away from the podcast, what motherhood has taught her over the last few years, and why she's returning with a renewed commitment to creating a space where moms feel seen, supported, and a little less alone.
This isn't another parenting podcast filled with impossible standards or picture-perfect advice. It's honest conversations about the messy, funny, overwhelming, beautiful reality of raising kids while trying to hold onto yourself.
Season 3 is all about building the village many of us thought we'd have—but often have to create ourselves.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why Lauren stepped away from podcasting
How motherhood changes as our children grow
The pressure of trying to "do it all"
Finding your identity beyond being a mom
Why support matters more than perfection
What listeners can expect from Season 3
Creating a judgment-free village for moms
Coming This Season:
We'll be diving into conversations about:
Birth and advocating for yourself
Friendships and loneliness
Relationships, intimacy, and life after kids
Breaking parenting cycles
Finding your identity in motherhood
Building your support system
Honest conversations with experts—and plenty of laughs along the way
If you've ever wondered whether you're doing enough, felt overwhelmed by parenting advice online, or simply wished someone would say the quiet part out loud, this season is for you.
Connect with That Twin Mama
📱 Instagram: @ThatTwinMamaPodcast
⭐ If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who could use a reminder that they're not doing this alone.
Because motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey.

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