Raising Teens with Collett Smart

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Dr. Arne Rubinstein is a leading expert on rites of passage and adolescent development. As the founder of the Rites of Passage Institute, Dr. Rubinstein is devoted to creating transformational experiences for teenagers and communities. With over 30 years of experience, including a decade and a half as an emergency medicine doctor, he has a profound understanding of human development and the challenges young people face today. Dr. Rubinstein is also the author of "The Making of Men" and has significantly contributed to the field by working with schools globally and supporting over 500,000 people through his programs.
Key Takeaways:
A rite of passage is a guided process essential for successfully transitioning youth from childhood to adulthood, offering community support and shared wisdom.
Unstructured "rites of passage," such as schoolies, often involve risk and lack meaningful guidance, leading to potentially harmful outcomes.
Structured programs emphasise storytelling, challenge, vision creation, and recognition of unique gifts as critical components, providing a healthier and more profound transition experience.
Both teenagers and their communities, including parents and elders, benefit from engagement in rites of passage, promoting stronger, more supportive relationships.
Rites of passage are not limited to adolescence; they are valuable throughout life for managing transitions like leaving home, marriage, and aging.
Notable Quotes:
"I am convinced that every one of our children is going to go through a rite of passage. The question is, will that be a healthy rite of passage?"
"When we are creating rites of passage for our young people, we need to take into account that every child is different, and every child is born with their own unique gifts and talents."
"Instead of having elders in the community who are actually doing it for the benefit of the young ones, when they're doing it as a way of sort of staying on top of them, that's when it goes wrong."
"One thing, if we could teach girls to listen to their inner voice, that would really be impactful and important for those girls."
"Bringing out their gifts and their spirit. That's what rites of passage are about."
Resources:
Rites of Passage Institute
Dr. Arne Rubinstein's book: The Making of Men
Online Rites of Passage Leadership Training via the Rites of Passage Institute

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.
Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.
Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.
Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Arne Rubinstein is a leading expert on rites of passage and adolescent development. As the founder of the Rites of Passage Institute, Dr. Rubinstein is devoted to creating transformational experiences for teenagers and communities. With over 30 years of experience, including a decade and a half as an emergency medicine doctor, he has a profound understanding of human development and the challenges young people face today. Dr. Rubinstein is also the author of "The Making of Men" and has significantly contributed to the field by working with schools globally and supporting over 500,000 people through his programs.
Key Takeaways:
A rite of passage is a guided process essential for successfully transitioning youth from childhood to adulthood, offering community support and shared wisdom.
Unstructured "rites of passage," such as schoolies, often involve risk and lack meaningful guidance, leading to potentially harmful outcomes.
Structured programs emphasise storytelling, challenge, vision creation, and recognition of unique gifts as critical components, providing a healthier and more profound transition experience.
Both teenagers and their communities, including parents and elders, benefit from engagement in rites of passage, promoting stronger, more supportive relationships.
Rites of passage are not limited to adolescence; they are valuable throughout life for managing transitions like leaving home, marriage, and aging.
Notable Quotes:
"I am convinced that every one of our children is going to go through a rite of passage. The question is, will that be a healthy rite of passage?"
"When we are creating rites of passage for our young people, we need to take into account that every child is different, and every child is born with their own unique gifts and talents."
"Instead of having elders in the community who are actually doing it for the benefit of the young ones, when they're doing it as a way of sort of staying on top of them, that's when it goes wrong."
"One thing, if we could teach girls to listen to their inner voice, that would really be impactful and important for those girls."
"Bringing out their gifts and their spirit. That's what rites of passage are about."
Resources:
Rites of Passage Institute
Dr. Arne Rubinstein's book: The Making of Men
Online Rites of Passage Leadership Training via the Rites of Passage Institute

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Points:
Encouraging teens to consider counseling should be a gentle process that respects their need for control and privacy.
Parents should emphasise the confidentiality of counseling, reassuring teens that professionals will maintain their privacy while sharing critical concerns.
Involving teens in the decision-making process, such as choosing a counselor, can increase their sense of ownership and reduce resistance.
Building a supportive home environment and maintaining open communication can lay the foundation for teens to feel comfortable seeking external help.
Parents should also seek support for themselves to strengthen their ability to provide effective guidance and emotional stability for their teens.
Notable Quotes:
"A no to counseling doesn't mean a child is rejecting help. It's not a sign that things are hopeless."
"Our teens need to feel part of the choices and part of the decisions."
"Everyone needs to talk to someone from time to time, adults included."
"Focus on your relationship with your teenager first. Feeling safe and respected and heard at home lays such a good foundation."
"Even if your teen isn't ready for counseling, you can still seek support as a parent."
Resources:
Follow Collett Smart on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more on Collett Smart’s website: www.collettsmart.com

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.
Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.
Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.
Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Krysten Bisby is an esteemed counselor and advocate for animal-assisted therapy, harnessing her extensive experience with animals to support mental health and well-being. With a background in competitive horse riding, she has drawn on her lifelong passion for animals, including her therapeutic partner Cruz, a certified therapy dog, to enhance her counseling practice. She is notably involved in para-dressage riding at an international level, working with riders who have disabilities. Furthermore, she has transitioned from being a teacher to a counselor, focusing on creating safe spaces for young people to discuss their concerns and work towards mental wellness. Krysten operates KB Counseling Collective and partners with organisations like Riding for the Disabled at Tall Timbers in Sydney to provide therapy incorporating animals.
Key Takeaways:
Krysten Bisby emphasises the importance of safe environments in therapy, crucially non-traditional approaches that involve animal companionship.
Animal-assisted therapy facilitates tangible benefits for emotional regulation, reducing anxiety, and developing social skills.
Pet therapy involves a certified partnership between handler and animal, requiring rigorous training and assessment.
Non-verbal communication and repetitive activities with animals significantly aid in engaging clients who struggle with verbal processing.
Activities with therapy animals can transform feelings of being 'different' or struggles into therapeutic experiences of social connection and emotional growth.
Notable Quotes:
"I think horses were kind of that escape and that time for me that I just felt a bit free really, being out in the paddock and riding."
"If there had just been someone at school that I could have talked to, or who could have said, ‘Hey, what's happening for you?’"
"Research shows that being around animals reduces cortisol, releases oxytocin, and has physical effects like lowering blood pressure and decreasing heart rate."
"For me, it's about equipping clients to have skills and strategies to manage themselves in everyday struggles."
"I think when you take away some of that focus of therapist with client and you add an animal, it's super regulatory, a calming presence."
Resources:
Visit KB Counselling Collective's Website
Visit KB Counseling Collective on Facebook for more information about Krysten Bisby's work.
Explore services at Riding for the Disabled at Tall Timbers in Box Hill.
Contact Krysten here for counseling inquiries in Sydney.


Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.
Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.
Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.
Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Points:
The "invisible load" involves the mental and emotional planning needed to keep a family running smoothly, disproportionately handled by mothers.
When recognised and verbalised, this load can be redistributed among the family, easing stress and fostering a more collaborative environment.
Collett emphasises how engaging teens in managing this load fosters their independence and reduces pressure on parents.
Small, strategic changes in task sharing can significantly lighten the invisible load, benefiting partners, parents, and teens alike.
Regular family meetings and the use of digital tools can help make the distribution of mental tasks more visible and equitable.
Notable Quotes:
"The mental load is what the air traffic controller does…constantly monitoring all the aircrafts, anticipating possible conflicts."
"When the invisible becomes visible, it's much easier to share."
"Our teens don't need us to manage everything; giving them responsibility can actually help them grow."
"No one feels alone in holding it all when the invisible load is shared."
"This isn't about withdrawing our care from our families…it's about adjusting as our family needs change."
Resources:
Connect with Collett Smart via her Instagram and Facebook for ongoing support and insights.

Click here to contact Collett or ask her a question or Click here to contact the Raising Teens team.
Collett is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, with 25 years' experience working in private and public schools, as well as in private practice.
Visit Raising Teens for more resources, click here for Collett's books, or join the discussion on Facebook.
Listen to more from our Hope Podcasts collection at hopepodcasts.com.au. And send the team a message via Hope 103.2’s app, Facebook or Instagram.
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.