Raising Teens with Collett Smart

Key Points:
The "invisible load" involves the mental and emotional planning needed to keep a family running smoothly, disproportionately handled by mothers.
When recognised and verbalised, this load can be redistributed among the family, easing stress and fostering a more collaborative environment.
Collett emphasises how engaging teens in managing this load fosters their independence and reduces pressure on parents.
Small, strategic changes in task sharing can significantly lighten the invisible load, benefiting partners, parents, and teens alike.
Regular family meetings and the use of digital tools can help make the distribution of mental tasks more visible and equitable.
Notable Quotes:
"The mental load is what the air traffic controller does…constantly monitoring all the aircrafts, anticipating possible conflicts."
"When the invisible becomes visible, it's much easier to share."
"Our teens don't need us to manage everything; giving them responsibility can actually help them grow."
"No one feels alone in holding it all when the invisible load is shared."
"This isn't about withdrawing our care from our families…it's about adjusting as our family needs change."
Resources:
Connect with Collett Smart via her Instagram and Facebook for ongoing support and insights.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Arne Rubinstein is a leading expert on rites of passage and adolescent development. As the founder of the Rites of Passage Institute, Dr. Rubinstein is devoted to creating transformational experiences for teenagers and communities. With over 30 years of experience, including a decade and a half as an emergency medicine doctor, he has a profound understanding of human development and the challenges young people face today. Dr. Rubinstein is also the author of "The Making of Men" and has significantly contributed to the field by working with schools globally and supporting over 500,000 people through his programs.
Key Takeaways:
A rite of passage is a guided process essential for successfully transitioning youth from childhood to adulthood, offering community support and shared wisdom.
Unstructured "rites of passage," such as schoolies, often involve risk and lack meaningful guidance, leading to potentially harmful outcomes.
Structured programs emphasise storytelling, challenge, vision creation, and recognition of unique gifts as critical components, providing a healthier and more profound transition experience.
Both teenagers and their communities, including parents and elders, benefit from engagement in rites of passage, promoting stronger, more supportive relationships.
Rites of passage are not limited to adolescence; they are valuable throughout life for managing transitions like leaving home, marriage, and aging.
Notable Quotes:
"I am convinced that every one of our children is going to go through a rite of passage. The question is, will that be a healthy rite of passage?"
"When we are creating rites of passage for our young people, we need to take into account that every child is different, and every child is born with their own unique gifts and talents."
"Instead of having elders in the community who are actually doing it for the benefit of the young ones, when they're doing it as a way of sort of staying on top of them, that's when it goes wrong."
"One thing, if we could teach girls to listen to their inner voice, that would really be impactful and important for those girls."
"Bringing out their gifts and their spirit. That's what rites of passage are about."
Resources:
Rites of Passage Institute
Dr. Arne Rubinstein's book: The Making of Men
Online Rites of Passage Leadership Training via the Rites of Passage Institute

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hannah Gair StrongHER Side ebook - Available for free to listeners, providing tools and resources for mothers.
Hannah Gair became a foster mum at 23, then had a son born with Fragile X syndrome. She's now raising three kids and knows firsthand the "pressure cooker" reality of supporting families with children with disabilities. In this conversation, Hannah shares practical strategies for raising teens with additional needs while still connecting with your other kids, how the broader community can genuinely help struggling families, and why 70% of disability caregivers experience burnout. She also opens up about navigating divorce, rebuilding life as a single mum, and creating StrongHER Side—a community for the nearly one million Australian mums raising children with disabilities.
Key Takeaways:
Parental Advocacy: Hannah's journey emphasises the critical role of parents in advocating for children with disabilities, both in terms of education and day-to-day life.
Importance of Support Structures: Family, community, and specialised education play vital roles in supporting children with disabilities and their families.
Self-Care Strategies: Hannah underscores the necessity of finding personal time for self-care, which can range from exercise routines to quiet journaling moments.
Navigating Emotional Complexity: Addressing the emotional and logistical complexities of raising children with additional needs, and how empathy and vulnerability foster resilience.
Building Awareness and Empathy: Encouraging proactive interactions and openness with individuals with disabilities to foster an inclusive environment.
Notable Quotes:
"The best thing we can do as a mother is actually allow our children to reach their full potential."
"When somebody leans into their world and looks at her and displays empathy towards her and shows her support, then you're making her feel seen."
"He's trying to find a common place to have a conversation with you because majority of Aussies have a team that they follow."
"We are the product of our choices, and so it's being bigger than the most negative thought that you have."
"Every one of us want to feel seen. Every one of us are hardwired for connection."
Resources:
StrongHER Side Podcast - A podcast designed to support mothers raising children with disabilities.
Hannah Gair StrongHER Side ebook - Available for free to listeners, providing tools and resources for mothers.

Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Key Takeaways:
Predictability Matters: Building a predictable environment can significantly reduce stress for neurodivergent teens as they start a new school year.
Collaborative Support Systems: Engage teens in their support planning, which increases their comfort and trust in their school environment.
Focus on Emotional Regulation: Prioritise emotional well-being over academic performance to help teens cope with sensory overload and daily pressures.
Understanding Over Fixing: Embrace a mindset of curiosity and understanding rather than trying to fix perceived problems in teens' behaviors.
Home as a Safe Space: Ensure home remains a haven for recovery and support after the school day, helping teens decompress effectively.
Notable Quotes:
"Predictability might look a little bit like getting back into sleep routines like we learned last week."
"The key is collaboration, not control."
"When school starts, it's easy to focus on their marks, but for our neurodivergent teens, emotional regulation really comes first."
"You don't need to turn your teen into someone else to help them succeed at school."
"When teens feel understood rather than managed, their stress drops and their capacity rises."
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lisa Maltman brings sleep health education to thousands of Australian teens and parents. She reveals why 70% of teens aren't getting enough sleep, tackling technology designed to keep them scrolling, packed schedules treating sleep as leftover time, and sleep disorders mistaken for ADHD.
Collett and Lisa discuss the "Can't Sleep vs Won't Sleep" framework, social jet lag from weekend sleep-ins, and why tired teen drivers are as impaired as drunk drivers. You'll hear practical tools like family sleep diaries, Connor's story of misdiagnosed sleep apnoea, and why "revenge bedtime procrastination" steals everyone's rest. Real solutions for tired teens.
Key Takeaways:
Sleep is foundational for physical health, mental well-being, and academic and athletic performance.
Around 70% of teens fail to get adequate sleep, largely due to technology and time management issues.
Sleep disorders such as sleep apnea can profoundly impact behavior and mental health; professional help is available and recommended.
Maintaining consistent sleep schedules, even on weekends, can help mitigate "social jet lag" in teenagers.
Parents can model good sleep habits and assist teens in understanding the importance of adequate rest by engaging in open conversations about sleep.
Notable Quotes:
"Sleep impacts so much, and ironically, the time I was working for a sleep company, I developed insomnia."
"Elite athletes will actually get someone to come in and talk to them about how improving their sleep will give them the competitive edge."
"The logical part of our brain's not really working, so we just go: 'whatever', and that cycle can continue."
"Because when you're tired, it is the same as being over the limit with alcohol."
"My biggest hope is that they all completely understand the impact that sleep has on their physical health, mental health, and performance."
Resources:
The Sleep Connection: Lisa Maltman’s initiative, offering programs focused on educating students, parents, and corporations about sleep health.
Woolcock Medical Institute: Leaders in Breathing and Sleep Research
Support the show: https://hope1032.com.au/donate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.