Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast

Ever feel like the lifestyle has its own language? Well… you’re not wrong.
In this bonus T&A Alphabet Series episode, we’re breaking down some of the most common and less common terms used in swinging and the lifestyle, including:
What “the lifestyle” actually means—and the different names people use (like libertine)
Common roles and dynamics (hotwife, stag/vixen, unicorn, bull, OPP)
Types of play and what they involve (soft swap, hard swap, same room play)
Events, parties, and how people connect
Consent, communication, and safety language (hard & soft limits, full consent culture, aftercare)
Sexual and other terms (voyeur, DP, bukkake, “take one for the team”)
All of this is designed to help you feel more confident and informed as you explore—whether you’re brand new or already have some experience.
And as we’ve said throughout this series, it’s always important to ask people what their definitions are—because these terms can mean different things to different people.
Show Resources:
Contribute to our T&A Sex Clubs, Lifestyle Destinations & Communities Around the World List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1t8DzYsOJSQ0g1cboAuBl_ibFYQGwpHoiEO-JdriKUjA/edit?usp=sharing
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠⁠
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer⁠
The Little Book of Poly Love 💖 Join the waitlist to be the first to know when it’s published and pops into the world: ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠⁠
Episode 69: Consent is Sexy: Why Enthusiastic Consent is so Important - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2RzCDuhK9yMM3GgkU5ebPg?si=ObHEGONiTCyFgCF6Q-oo7g  
Episode 64: K is for KINK, Kitchen Table Polyamory & Kissing - https://open.spotify.com/episode/7FOrTjvfhxOB2Il9BLoNwc?si=GdwcjFa1Sn-qWcg2Ikspgw
Unicorns & Unicorn Hunting: Can it be Ethical? https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TI3NNE3H5JxlwzopWqM1Z?si=hRQsZ47bQASGDRf3KDCnFg

We are back with another instalment of our T&A Alphabet Series and this one is all about the letter S!
We give you: S is For Everything You Wanted to Know About Sexual Issues But Were Afraid to Ask!
Sexual issues are something so many people experience—but few people actually talk about.
In this episode, we open up the conversation around sex, desire, identity, and connection—sharing both insights and our own real-life experiences along the way.
We cover:
✨ What sexual apathy actually is—and why low desire isn’t always a problem ✨ The many emotional, physical, and relational factors that can impact sex drive ✨ Desire discrepancies in relationships and how to navigate them collaboratively ✨ The spectrum of sexual identity, orientation, and expression ✨ Why sexual health matters ✨ Common causes of sexual anxiety and how communication can shift everything
Sexuality isn’t one-size-fits-all—it exists on a spectrum, and what feels right will look different for everyone.
As always, we come back to one of the most powerful tools in any relationship:
💬 Talk about it.
Open, honest communication—with your partners and with professionals—can change everything.
If something in this episode resonates with you and you want support navigating it, you’re always welcome to reach out. We’re here to help you take your next step. Links below to connect.
Show Resources:
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠⁠
The Cervix Wand - for vaginal de-armoring and anal massage, cervical and g-spot stimulation.  ⁠https://waands.com/products/cervix-wand?ref=taraandandre⁠ - use code TARALYNNEFRANCO to get 10% off or use this link for any item in the store - ⁠https://waands.com/discount/TARALYNNEFRANCO?ref=taraandandre⁠
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer⁠
The Little Book of Poly Love 💖 Join the waitlist to be the first to know when it’s published and pops into the world: ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠

Salt-N-Pepa had it right in 1990…
“Let’s talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…”
It’s also important to talk about sex when we’re not having it — or not having enough of it.
This episode explores the complexities of mismatched sex drives in relationships, and why the difference itself is often less of a problem than the meaning couples attach to it. From our own experiences and the work we’ve done with clients, we share three things we know to be true:
People have different sex drives and desires for intimacy

The difference itself usually isn’t the problem — it’s how couples interpret it

Talking about it gives the relationship a much better chance

When partners want different amounts of sex, it can quickly lead to resentment, pressure, and painful assumptions about attraction, love, and unmet needs.
In this conversation, we explore how these dynamics develop and why communication, understanding, and creative solutions are essential for maintaining intimacy and connection.
We also get personal, sharing how differences in desire show up in our own relationship — including how menopause and pain have impacted Tara’s desire and what she’s been exploring to navigate that.
Along the way, we discuss concepts like responsive desire and how understanding different desire styles can shift the conversation.
We also share practical tools and conversation approaches couples can use to move away from the blame game and toward solutions that honour both partners’ needs — whether they’re in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships.
Chapters:
00:00 - Understanding Different Sex Drives
02:42 - Navigating Relationship Dynamics
05:29 - The Importance of Communication
08:22 - Resentment and Its Roots
11:12 - The Role of Internal Narratives
13:59 - Breaking the Silence on Sex
16:44 - Building Trust Through Open Dialogue
22:52 - Exploring Non-Monogamy as a Solution
25:14 - The Importance of Communication in Relationships
26:18 - Redefining Intimacy Beyond Sex
28:04 - Tools for Reestablishing Intimacy
30:35 - Understanding Desire Styles
34:29 - Finding Solutions Together
38:47 - Final Thoughts on Navigating Desire Differences
Show Resources:
Episode: Can an Open Relationship Save My Marriage - https://open.spotify.com/episode/7o3meUcbbNdcfb4S1I7vbq?si=vT-9MhXkSDGgS-0mnbgFQw 
The Cervix Wand - for vaginal de-armoring and anal massage, cervical and g-spot stimulation.  https://waands.com/products/cervix-wand?ref=taraandandre - use code TARALYNNEFRANCO to get 10% off or use this link for any item in the store - https://waands.com/discount/TARALYNNEFRANCO?ref=taraandandre
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

We’re back with another episode of our T&A Alphabet Series!
This is an all-new episode on the letter R — and you’re REALLY going to REVEL in this jam-packed conversation.
We’re covering a range of relationship, sex and polyamory/non-monogamy terms grouped into three themes:
Relationships & relationship structures
Sexual and erotic terms
Emotional and psychological terms
It’s a truly robust episode filled with really helpful R words like:
Relationship Anarchy (RA)
Relationship Escalator
Reciprocity
Rimming
Radical Honesty
Reassurance
Repair
Resentment
We cover over 20 different words — with deeper dives into topics like relationship agreements and relationship reviews using the RAADAR method, rope play (Shibari), and responsive desire.
Get ready for a rich, reflective, and maybe even a little risqué ride through the Rs.
Many of the words we explore here (and throughout our T&A Alphabet Series) are also part of our upcoming project, The Little Book of Poly Love 💖 Join the waitlist to be the first to know when it’s published and pops into the world: ⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠
Show Resources:
Rich Relationships: Building Your Million Dollar Network. Book by Selena Soo - 
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

We’re back with another episode of our T&A Alphabet Series! Many earlier episodes were originally delivered as live trainings inside our Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast private Facebook community.
In this episode, recorded in 2021, we dive into the letter Q — Queer — exploring identity, fluidity, heteronormativity, mononormativity, intersectionality, visibility, mental health, and the intersection of queerness and consensual non-monogamy.
We talk about definitions of queer, how marginalization can impact mental health, and common misconceptions about being queer and polyamorous. We also share some statistics—though at the time of recording, specific data on people identifying as “queer” was limited.
We share our personal experiences with queerness: what it was like growing up, coming to queer identity later in life, and how our relationship has opened us to limitless sexual and emotional expression. Tara shares her journey coming out to family as queer and dating a woman before embracing polyamory, and André shares his experiences with family and how the reactions varied.
We also invite your reflections in the comments:
Is queer a term you identify with?
What does being queer mean to you?
Why is it important to identify as queer?
If you identify as queer or another non-heterosexual or non-monogamous identity, are you out and open about it?
Note: We did our best with the video and audio quality, but it isn’t perfect. As we felt the content is worth sharing, we're sharing it anyway!
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction
00:35 - Exploring the Term 'Queer'
02:37 - Personal Identities and Experiences with Queerness
07:10 - Definitions and Understanding of Queerness
10:48 - Navigating Heteronormativity and Mononormativity
15:04 - Reflections on Coming Out and Self-Identification
19:21 - Redefining Queerness: Beyond Labels
26:42 - Intersectionality and Mental Health in the LGBTQ+ Community
30:08 - Navigating Polyamory and Queerness
31:00 - Coming Out Stories: Personal Experiences and Family Dynamics
Resources:
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠
Book: Bi Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner - https://www.amazon.ca/Bi-Bisexual-Revolution-Shiri-Eisner/dp/1580054749
Coming out as polyamorous video - our initial talk in preparing for the conversation - How to talk to parents about being polyamorous or in an open relationship - https://youtu.be/UxYecGOZ3WY?si=OaNmNcBea2bA27sH 
Let's Talk Polyamory Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer