Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” — Mark Twain
How often do we create an entire story about what might happen and then experience the anxiety as though it’s already happening?
We’re back with another carversation. 🚗 These are unscripted conversations we record while travelling the world!
This is one of two episodes we recorded while road-tripping through Morocco in June 2026. We had some mic issues and have done our best to correct the audio, however there are some spots where it isn’t perfect. We hope the conversation will make it worthwhile for you!  
We start with a real-life moment from our trip. Tara thought she’d put the wrong location into the GPS and, with only 15 minutes left to our destination, suddenly thought we might have another two hours of driving ahead of us instead. Spoiler: we didn’t. But the anxiety she felt in that moment was very real, and André’s response was exactly what she needed.
That gets us talking about what happens when anxiety takes over, what we can do to manage it in the moment, and how we can respond when we notice it showing up in our partners. What actually helps? What doesn’t? And why doesn’t reassurance always land the way we intend it to?
And yes, even as a coach and a therapist who help other people navigate this stuff, sometimes we still have to figure out how to coach our damn selves through it.
From there, we bring the conversation into relationships, particularly the anxiety and jealousy that can surface when opening a relationship or navigating consensual non-monogamy.
What happens when our brains take uncertainty and turn it into “If my partner meets someone else, they might leave me”? And what if we could shift that story to “My partner can connect with other people and continue to choose me”?
We talk about the stories underneath jealousy, strategies for managing anxiety when it shows up, and how clear relationship agreements based on our values, using our Values-Based Relationship Agreement Model™, can help create security without trying to control every possible outcome.
In this episode, we also cover:
Practical strategies for managing anxiety in the moment
How to respond when you sense your partner is feeling anxious
Jealousy and anxiety when opening a relationship
Future forecasting and imagining worst-case scenarios
Reframing what it means to be chosen by a partner

Because knowing the tools doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with this stuff too. Sometimes we just have to remember to use them on ourselves.
Show Resources:
We love travelling using Home Exchange as it allows us to stay in amazing places in exchange for our home - use this link to get 250 bonus points when you sign up (that's a 2 night stay in most places)- ⁠https://www.homeexchange.com/?sponsorkey=taraandandre-cbef0 ⁠
Check out our episode we recorded while on our East Coast road trip in the Summer of 2025 -  Carversations: Travelling When Polyamorous or Open - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5KIL4RSyr4T7sZymJLjxbD?si=mZsxR5oiSyCE2iZRSIcTNA 
Addressing Worry - The Worry Tree and Other Methods - https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/tackling-your-worries/ 
The Thought Model / Life Coaching Model - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnWfkWaNQuA
Another Thought Model article with examples - https://simplysquaredaway.com/the-model/
Looking for community? Join our Let's Talk Polyamory private Facebook group - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
New and looking to build a secure foundation? Our Poly Newbies Digital Course is for you! Get it for only $97 for a limited time for our listeners- https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer 
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠⁠

Most people don’t realize how easily they derail the conversations that matter most, until they learn what to look for.
In Part 2 of this series, we unpack the hidden patterns that quietly sabotage connection, like kitchen sinking, labeling, interrupting, blaming, mind reading, layering, and passive-aggressive habits. More importantly, we show you how to recognize these patterns in real time and shift them into clear, grounded, and effective communication.
We also explore how outside influences, like stress, emotional triggers, and past experiences can take over your conversations without you even noticing. From there, we guide you back to presence, empathy, and solution-focused dialogue using practical, easy-to-apply tools.
You’ll learn frameworks like Non-Violent Communication (NVC) and our Attunement Communication Method™, designed to help you move from conflict to connection, without losing your voice.
If you’re tired of feeling unheard, misunderstood, or stuck in the same arguments, this episode offers a clear path forward. Honest, effective communication isn’t just a “nice to have”, it’s the foundation of strong, thriving relationships, especially in non-monogamous dynamics where trust and transparency matter deeply.
Whether you have a partner, dating or single, this episode will help you break negative cycles and build more authentic, connected conversations.
And if you want to go deeper, join T&A live for Deep Dive Thursdays at the Mermaid Lounge on May 14 at 8PM for a special talk: The Other Sexy Talk: More Foreplay for Better Sex. Details and tickets available at: https://thexclub.net/event_description.php?event=697
Resources:
Get our free How to Shift From Destructive to Effective Communication Worksheet - https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/communicationworksheet 
Looking for community? Join our Let's Talk Polyamory private Facebook group - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
New and looking to build a secure foundation including how to effectively communicate with your partners? Our Poly Newbies Digital Course is for you! Get it for only $97 for a limited time for our listeners- https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer 
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠

It’s a quickie, but a good one! An unfiltered special episode recorded from our bed!
In it, we break down a real-life situation where things built up, our communication took a nosedive, and it felt like our communication went completely off the rails.
We take full ownership of the destructive patterns we fell into - practicing responses, layering/stacking, “yes, but”-ing, and how HALTA (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired & Anxious) was impacting us.
We walk you through exactly what happened, how it unfolded, and what we did to repair, pausing, resetting, and coming back to the conversation with intention.
And in Part 2, we go deeper into these patterns and show you how to shift them into more effective, connected communication + we'll share the worksheet we refer to at the end!
Show Resources:
Looking for community? Join our Let's Talk Polyamory private Facebook group - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
New and looking to build a secure foundation including how to effectively communicate with your partners? Our Poly Newbies Digital Course is for you! Get it for only $97 for a limited time for our listeners- https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer 
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠

Planning a trip and your'e non-monogamous?
Traveling comes with its own unique dynamics and things to plan for, whether you're heading out on a solo adventure or exploring with a partner or partners.
In this episode, we dive into what that really looks like, and how those experiences can expand not just your world, but your relationships too.
We talk about:
Traveling together vs. taking solo vacations

How (and where) you might meet people while away

What happens when you do meet someone you like

The conversations and agreements that matter, before and during your trip

How boundaries, expectations, and connection can shift when you're out of your normal environment

We also share our personal experiences and practical insights around communication, honesty, safety, and staying grounded in your relationships, no matter where you are in the world.
And of course, how we make traveling fun—because yes, you can have adventure and emotional security.
✈️ Your action list if you're planning travel:
Practice honest communication about travel plans and personal boundaries

Get clear on agreements, especially if they may shift while you're away

Prioritize safety and STI testing when meeting new partners

Stay open to spontaneity while staying aligned with your values

Make space for both connection and independence

Show Resources:
We love travelling using Home Exchange as it allows us to travel economically and stay in amazing places in exchange for our home - use this link to get 250 bonus points when you sign up (that's a 2 night stay in most places - ⁠https://www.homeexchange.com/?sponsorkey=taraandandre-cbef0 ⁠
Looking for community? Join our Let's Talk Polyamory private Facebook group - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
New and looking to build a secure foundation? Our Poly Newbies Digital Course is for you! Get it for only $97 for a limited time for our listeners- https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer 
Want to learn more about travel - Check out our episode we recorded while on our East Coast road trip: Carversations: Travelling When Polyamorous or Open - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5KIL4RSyr4T7sZymJLjxbD?si=mZsxR5oiSyCE2iZRSIcTNA

Ever feel like the lifestyle has its own language? Well… you’re not wrong.
In this bonus T&A Alphabet Series episode, we’re breaking down some of the most common and less common terms used in swinging and the lifestyle, including:
What “the lifestyle” actually means—and the different names people use (like libertine)
Common roles and dynamics (hotwife, stag/vixen, unicorn, bull, OPP)
Types of play and what they involve (soft swap, hard swap, same room play)
Events, parties, and how people connect
Consent, communication, and safety language (hard & soft limits, full consent culture, aftercare)
Sexual and other terms (voyeur, DP, bukkake, “take one for the team”)
All of this is designed to help you feel more confident and informed as you explore—whether you’re brand new or already have some experience.
And as we’ve said throughout this series, it’s always important to ask people what their definitions are—because these terms can mean different things to different people.
Show Resources:
Contribute to our T&A Sex Clubs, Lifestyle Destinations & Communities Around the World List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1t8DzYsOJSQ0g1cboAuBl_ibFYQGwpHoiEO-JdriKUjA/edit?usp=sharing
Looking for therapy?  Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at ⁠⁠https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation⁠⁠ 
Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠⁠
Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer -  ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer⁠
The Little Book of Poly Love 💖 Join the waitlist to be the first to know when it’s published and pops into the world: ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠⁠
Episode 69: Consent is Sexy: Why Enthusiastic Consent is so Important - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2RzCDuhK9yMM3GgkU5ebPg?si=ObHEGONiTCyFgCF6Q-oo7g  
Episode 64: K is for KINK, Kitchen Table Polyamory & Kissing - https://open.spotify.com/episode/7FOrTjvfhxOB2Il9BLoNwc?si=GdwcjFa1Sn-qWcg2Ikspgw
Unicorns & Unicorn Hunting: Can it be Ethical? https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TI3NNE3H5JxlwzopWqM1Z?si=hRQsZ47bQASGDRf3KDCnFg