Famous at Home

Have you ever had a conversation with a loved one go in a completely different direction than what you saw coming? Your intention was there, but the way your loved one received it was nothing in the way you intended it? 
 
Our good friend, Jason VanRuler, started to see this pattern in many of the people he had come into therapy. Conversations between people -- where everything was at stake -- and the intentions were there, but someone inevitably walked away feeling hurt, unseen, or even abandoning the relationship altogether. What one person meant isn’t what the other person heard.
 
So Jason asked himself, “Why does it sometimes land well, and other times not?”

The more research he did, the more he learned predictable patterns that led to 5 primary communication types: Peace, Advocate, Thinking, Harbor, and Spark. Each one with a strength and each one with an opportunity. Not only that, each person has their own primary and secondary type.

In this episode, Jason unveils each type, how we develop our own, and how we can better understand how our spouse, kids, and loved ones communicate with us. We get into marital dynamics and why we usually marry someone with similar secondary type, but the trouble that can arise when we realize we don’t have the same primary one. We also talk about how knowing the types can help us communicate at a deeper level with our kids. 

Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:18 Jason VanRuler joins the show!
4:34 Why these communication types matters
6:00 Jason introduces the 5 PATHS of communication
11:16 Where our personal communication style comes from
14:05 Strengths and weaknesses of each communication type
20:20 The communication types in our children and how we give what we didn’t get
25:05 How different communication types serve us in marriage
 
Show Notes:
Get Jason’s new book Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships: https://amzn.to/4sZzbwc

Check out Jason’s website: www.jasonvr.com

Reserve your seat for Tender & Fierce Fall Cohort beginning August 17, 2026: https://www.famousathome.com/offers/V75F6bY2

Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching
 
Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching
 
Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter
 
Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Quick note: We announced the Tender and Fierce fall cohort. See show notes below.

What’s the first question we ask our kids in kindergarten? “What do you want to BE when you grow up?” We do our children a disservice by asking this question because the very nature of the phrase implies that what you DO is who you are.
 
What about for ourselves as adults? What does it means to live in “fullness of life,” even when our circumstances might not match our heart’s desire? Perhaps Teresa of Avila held a clue to this mystery when she said, “God is among the pots and the pans.”
 
In this episode, Josh and Christi define what we mean by the word “purpose” and also identify other flaws of our modern cultural understanding of purpose and how it influences how we shepherd the hearts of our kids. One question to consider, “Is our understanding of purpose, especially when raising our children, filtered through a biblical lens?” In other words, who is God calling our children to “become?”

Josh and Christi also discuss Christi’s own “mid-life” crisis, the many layers of purpose, what the Bible tells us about meaning, and how we squelch our children’s desire for purpose even in early childhood.
 
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:40 Welcome to our own mid-life crisis
4:40 Tender & Fierce fall cohort announcement!
5:40 Christi’s mid-life crisis and rethinking what “purpose” really is
13:00 The layers of purpose and helping our children find theirs
20:00 Ecclesiastes and the discovery of meaning
23:20 Finding “fullness of life” no matter your life circumstances or current occupation / role
29:07 What keeps us from living in purpose
33:00 What multiplication and expansion of our purpose actually means
 
Show Notes: 
Reserve your seat for Tender & Fierce Fall Cohort beginning August 17, 2026: https://www.famousathome.com/offers/V75F6bY2

Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching

Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching

Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter

Download the Famous at Home app from Apple, click here. 
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/famous-at-home/id6502221394

Download the Famous at Home app from Google Play, click here. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2147486660.app2&hl=en_US

Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

We all want our kids to be confident, resourceful, and to know what they’re good at. The trouble is that we make two big mistakes as parents: We either don’t give them enough challenge, or we burn them out with too much.
 
Do your kids know that they have what it takes to overcome struggle?
Do they feel confident in knowing what to do when it comes to life skills and everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or taking care of animals?
Do they know what they’re good at and have a healthy sense of what to do with things they’re not good at?
 
We call this resourcefulness, and it’s one of the most important traits to cultivate in our kids.

What is resourcefulness?
How do we offer a healthy dose of both support and challenge to help our kids build resilience?
What do you do when you see things in your kids they don’t see in themselves?
 
These are the questions we tackle in this episode.
 
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:24 What resourcefulness is and the two extremes we tend to take as parents
7:40 The good and hard of giving children responsibility
12:03 Giving kids support while offering challenge
19:38 How to know if you’ve over-supported or over-challenged
24:15 When you see things in your kids they don’t see in themselves
30:00 When you push beyond what you think you’re capable of 

Show Notes:

Get 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week
https://amzn.to/4lpPGQf
 
Join our KidsRQ Community: www.kidsrq.com
 
Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching
 
Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching
 
Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter
 
Download the Famous at Home app from Apple, click here. 
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/famous-at-home/id6502221394
 
Download the Famous at Home app from Google Play, click here. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2147486660.app2&hl=en_US
 
Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Get ready for the early episode pivot in this one, folks. Talking about their marriage a few minutes into recording, Josh and Christi had a moment that sent them spiraling into laughter. The atmosphere shifted, so they shifted with it. And the result?
 
A conversation about joy!
 
In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about why joy can be so difficult to feel. “We’re actually scared of joy,” Christi says. “It is such an intense emotion that our bodies feel under threat.” Christi goes on to say, “The feeling of joy is so big that you can’t start at 95%, you have to begin by micro-dosing it at about 5%.”

But feel it we must. The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). If it strengthens us, it must be dangerous for darkness. No wonder it takes courage to feel it. Like anything else, joy is caught, not taught. Josh and Christi talk about how to overcome the fear, shift the atmosphere, and pass joy onto our kids.
 
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:24 10 Days of the Easter Story
2:53 Josh & Christi’s wedding story
5:55 The unexpected pivot into joy
7:30 Shifting the spiritual atmosphere for joy
13:10 Left brain knowledge of versus right brain experience of joy
17:52 How joy is birthed within us
21:16 God is a joyful God
28:14 Why we’re afraid of joy
31:30 How to micro-dose moments of joy in your life
34:01 Practical ways to experience joy and pass it onto your kids
42:55 Ways to make joy not feel threatening 

Show Notes:
Get 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week
https://amzn.to/4lpPGQf
 
Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching
 
Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching
 
Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter
 
Download the Famous at Home app from Apple, click here. 
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/famous-at-home/id6502221394
 
Download the Famous at Home app from Google Play, click here. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2147486660.app2&hl=en_US
 
Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Have you felt yourself revert back to a child in the way you react to your kids, or a particular situation?

Watching from the sideline, Josh recently had a moment where his inner child wounds collided with the reality of the his son’s experience on the soccer field. When we come face-to-face with the dissonance between the way we REACT, and the way we want to ACT, something deeper is often at play. Becoming mindful of those moments, and how we respond to them, influences what we pass onto our kids.
 
In this episode, Josh & Christi talk about how to identify an unhealed inner child “part” of yourself, give examples of redeemed and unhealed epigenetic transmission, and provide a beautiful example of how Jesus meets us right where we are.
 
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:15 The messages we picked up in childhood in order to fit in
6:15 How to identify an unhealed inner child “part” of yourself
9:13 Examples of epigenetic transmission of unresolved inner child pain
17:37 The motivation of our parental decisions
20:30 Disappointment, condemnation, and the feelings of Holy Week
28:56 How Jesus’ restoration of Peter is for all of us 

Show Notes:
Easter is coming up! Get 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week
https://amzn.to/4lpPGQf
 
Interested in our Spring Love Your Marriage Cohort? Apply now. Starts March 30.
https://www.famousathome.com/loveyourmarriage
 
Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching
 
Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching
 
Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter

Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome