Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

• 233. “I save while she spends on vacations. Is this fair?”

  Samantha (36) and Kevin (41) have been together for seven years, but their financial lives couldn’t look more different. He’s a high earner with $800,000 in investments and a paid-down mortgage. She’s still carrying student loans, car payments, and lingering shame about being “behind.” While Kevin saves methodically for the future, Samantha prefers to spend on experiences—especially travel—leaving him questioning whether their financial priorities will ever align. Beneath the surface, neither of them has truly learned how to talk about money without shutting down. Can Ramit help them move from avoidance and resentment to shared goals and real plans for the future? A special thanks to Ultraspeaking, who worked with Samantha and Kevin to help them communicate more effectively as a couple. Ultraspeaking is the fastest and most effective way to become a great communicator. Learn more here. In this episode we uncover: • Why Samantha believes she’ll never be “financially good enough” for Kevin • How their shared avoidant tendencies have allowed them to avoid financial planning for years • How their unspoken expectations around “fairness” create tension • Samantha’s logic for not paying rent or mortgage • How Kevin’s quiet resentment built up after Samantha didn’t use the housing savings to pay down debt • The real cost of their “guilt-free” spending, including $15,000/year on vacations • Why Samantha still feels broke, despite earning $148,000 a year • Samantha’s fears about not meeting Kevin’s expectations in retirement • The stark contrast between their savings: Samantha has one month of expenses, Kevin has six • How Samantha inherited a “spend it if you have it” mindset from her parents • Kevin’s fear of loss from divorce and why he avoids fully committing financially • The role of therapy in helping them rebuild communication and trust Chapters: (00:00:00) “I’ll never be financially good enough for Kevin” (00:13:39) “I feel like I have no say because he owns the house” (00:27:08) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:37:44) “I still feel like I’m only making $50,000” (00:43:59) “Money burned a hole in my pocket” (01:03:09) “That’s the bed I made and I will lie in it” (01:08:25) “Closing doors is hard…but staying stuck is harder” (01:15:59) “It’s not about catching up — it’s about building together” (01:37:50) Where are they now? Samantha and Kevin’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: NetSuite | Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://netsuite.com/ramit Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 232. “My husband gives me an allowance. I feel like a child.”

  Edward (38) and Ellen (30) live in Hawaii with their young daughter and a new baby on the way. With a net worth of over $2 million, their finances look strong on paper, but behind the scenes, their marriage is strained by control, fear, and trust issues around money. Edward manages every dollar, while Ellen has to ask for “permission” to spend, even on basic everyday items. He believes tight control protects their future, making her feel more like a child than a partner. As Edward grapples with his deep fear of losing everything, Ellen wants to step into her own financial power. Can they learn to trust each other and build a partnership where both voices are heard, or will control and fear continue to drive their financial decisions? In this episode we uncover: • Why Ellen calls their financial dynamic “like asking my dad for permission” • How Edward’s fear of poverty leads to hyper-control over their money • Why Edward compares their finances to the top 1% • Ellen’s $8,000 home birth decision • How Ellen avoids learning their finances to sidestep arguments • The emotional legacy of Edward’s childhood poverty and Ellen’s early financial security • Their definition of a “traditional marriage” • Why they fight about $20 face cream despite earning $28K/month • The weight of Edward’s “provider” identity • Their Hawaii “dream home” vs. the financial pressure it created • Their shared craving for safety and control • Ellen’s realization that she’s been playing financial defense instead of building real skills • Edward’s hope to teach their daughter financial independence Chapters: (00:00:00) “It feels like I’m asking for permission” (00:16:10) “I’m in charge of the budget” (00:23:09) “I had just come into a million dollars” (00:34:29) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:51:41) “I don’t think he trusts me at all” (00:56:49) “I will never be poor again” (01:07:01) “When do we get to live like we’re wealthy?” (01:17:38) “I shrink myself to please him” (01:39:10) Where are they now? Ellen and Edward’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you make good money but you haven’t taken a real vacation in years, I want to talk to you. I'm casting couples for a special episode of the podcast. Apply this week only at iwt.com/apply.

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• 231. “Our $200k in crypto is gone. Now we live with his mom.”

  Angela (31) and David (34) thought they’d built a future on $200,000 in crypto. Instead, they lost it all—and now they’re living in David’s childhood home with his mom. Angela dreams of traveling to Colombia to be with family, while David quietly panics about their finances. She sees every course and trip as a step toward freedom, but he sees their savings shrinking with no plan in sight. With only $4,000 in the bank and a 5-year-old to support, can they stop improvising and finally create a stable financial life of their own? In this episode we uncover: • How David blew through $200,000 in crypto • Living rent-free with David’s mom • The “get rich quick” approach to debt: bankruptcy talk, unrealistic timelines, and skipped planning • Why improvising instead of planning is their default financial strategy • A $3,000 retreat vs. moving out: how conflicting priorities reveal deeper issues • The moment they see the truth in their spending • How David’s mom ended up in credit card debt from supporting them • Angela’s scarcity and rescue narratives from childhood • Why David avoids stress and Angela absorbs it • The cost of being “Dreamers” (big visions with no real plan) • Signs their daughter is already noticing financial stress Chapters: (00:00:00) “We have no space to breathe” (00:25:05) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:35:12) “Our vision isn’t aligned to our actions” (00:52:42) “Like mother, like daughter” (01:03:09) “Do you want major changes or minor changes?” (01:15:26) “We’ve never created a plan” (01:36:53) Where are they now? Angela and David’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping. Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box at https://wildgrain.com/ramit SonderMind | Go to https://sondermind.com to get matched with the right therapist in less than a week Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 230. “We spend 168% of what we make. What are we missing?”

  Amy (32) and John (40) are raising two young kids in Canada, earning a solid $155,000 a year. But with $768,181 in debt and fixed costs at 168% of their income, every month feels like a losing battle. Two years ago, John hid hundreds of thousands in business tax debt from Amy—what she calls “financial infidelity.” Since then, trust has been fragile, money is tight, and they often feel like they’re fighting on “two separate life rafts.” Amy’s trying to rebuild their future, but when more than HALF of their monthly income goes immediately towards debt, they’re struggling to find a path forward. Can Ramit help them bridge the gap between good intentions and hard numbers—and finally get on the same team? In this episode we uncover: • How their fixed costs rose to 168% of their income • Why John hid his business tax debt, which shattered Amy’s trust • How years of financial strain forced Amy to shoulder household finances alone • How Amy’s volatile income and John’s shrinking business payouts created a $4,000 deficit • John’s Dreamer attitude collides with the harsh math of his monthly debt payments • The emotional impact of having no safety net • Amy’s plan to launch a new business vs. John’s struggle to keep his afloat • Why managing risk isn’t about optimism • Amy’s frustration with carrying the mental and emotional load of finances while John “focuses on income” • Ramit’s direct call for decisive leadership and clear planning to get out of financial free fall Chapters: (00:00:00) “He spent two years hiding his debt from me” (00:18:03) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:26:27) “I was humiliated driving that Tesla” (00:39:52) “We’re flying blind” (00:54:47) “I feel like I’m carrying this weight alone” (01:02:13) “Hope is not a strategy” (01:24:56) “This is what happens when we finally get specific” (01:42:25) Where are they now? Amy and John’s follow-ups Links Mentioned In This Episode: • Join me Monday, October 20 to learn How To Nail Your Dream Job Interview. Reserve your spot at https://iwt.com/interview This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 229.  “I’m almost 50 and have nothing to show for my life”

  Christine (47) and Thad (57) have been together for more than six years, but instead of building wealth, they’re buried under nearly $340,000 of debt. Christine, the self-appointed “CFO,” is exhausted from tracking every bill, while Thad avoids the details and spends freely. Their conflicting money mindsets (Christine craving stability, Thad living for the moment) have stalled their big dreams like buying a home or taking Rich Life vacations that Christine longs for. With almost no savings and retirement looming, Christine fears she’s approaching 50 with nothing to show for her hard work, while Thad insists a single plan will solve everything. Can Ramit help them break the cycle of avoidance and control, align their priorities, and finally start acting like teammates? In this episode we uncover: • Why Christine feels she’s approaching 50 with “nothing to show” for her life • Thad’s $17,000 student loan that ballooned up to $125,000 • How Christine became the household “CFO” while Thad continues to avoid responsibility • Their real numbers—and why Christine feels so stressed • Christine’s frustration over micromanaging bills • Thad’s upbringing in poverty • The invisible power of shame and fear, and why they can’t see what’s right in front of them financially • Christine’s childhood lessons from parents who bought an unaffordable home • Thad’s stark admission: if nothing changes, he’ll be homeless Chapters: (00:00:00) When a worrier and an avoider meet… (00:02:59) “We have a plan… don’t we?” (00:15:52) “Where is all the money going?” (00:19:54) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:33:46) “I never expected to live past 30” (00:48:30) “I wish my dad was able to say no” (00:56:33) “I don’t believe he’ll follow through” (01:05:11) “We need to be playing way bigger” (01:22:38) “I don’t feel like I have the power” (01:36:54) Where are they now? Christine and Thad’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Doola | Go to https://doola.com.ramit and use code RAMIT for 10% off LLC formation and bookkeeping. Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Netsuite | Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://netsuite.com/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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