Grow With Intention by MuchelleB

I mentioned these two videos:
🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA
🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk

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→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup

⛳️ Red Flags of Self-Improvement

→ Encourages isolating yourself (e.g. go ghost for 6 months, cut off everyone, etc.)

→ Over-focuses on “having discipline” and “taking action”, while ignoring emotional regulation, difficult days, different brains, flexibility, and letting go of self-criticism

→ Creates an “us vs them” dynamic that breeds division or superiority (e.g. “people like us vs people like them”)

→ Pushes rigid formulas, steps, or “right ways” of doing things without encouraging self-reflection or a personalised approach

→ Turns relationships into hierarchies (e.g. “high-value vs low-value people”)

→ Encourages self-rejection instead of self-acceptance

→ Feeds your ego or makes you feel “better than” others (e.g. “when you start healing, you won’t relate to people anymore”)

→ Encourages shame-based growth rather than curiosity-led growth

→ Promotes constant optimisation without emphasising space for fun, rest, and relationships

→ Pushes “more, more, more” instead of focusing on what’s actually effective (which is often less)

→ Over-identifies you with your problems in an unhelpful way (leans heavily on labels instead of helping you understand and change what’s actually going on)

☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*
→  _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._
→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/

🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*
→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_
→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack

💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*
→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7

🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*
→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb

🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*
→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443

💭 *Video timeline ⇢*

00:00 Everyone is quitting self-improvement
00:33 The first self-improvement trap
02:08 The next trap
03:40 Trap #3
04:56 Self-improvement trap #4
06:50 SOooo... What then?!
07:20 Firstly, definitely stop doing this 
08:22 And start doing this
08:54 Please! do this 
09:19 How I can be a better creator
10:23 Creating responsibly
12:40 How I want to create going forward

🔗 Anything I mentioned ⇢

🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA
🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk
🔗 Tim Ferris Blog Post on The Self Help Trap: https://tim.blog/2026/03/04/the-self-help-trap/

💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack🎧 *Prefer long-form? ⇢*→ I drop weekly episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 Hospital Scheduling Crisis00:17 Leave One Room Free01:24 Scarcity to Relief01:46 Your Time Is Overbooked02:49 Plan for Zero Time Tasks03:14 Podcast Purpose and Slack03:30 Schedule Life Admin05:05 Leisure as Productivity06:44 Mini Move for the Week07:09 Rec of the week🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Scarcity: The New Science of Having Less and How It Defines Our Lives by Sendhil Mullainathan, Eldar Shafir: https://amzn.to/4snMpTa

Some technical difficulties led to this ep being up a little later than usual! I didn't sneak in a "recs of the week" to end this ep, but I have a buunch of recs listed below.

💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443 💭 Video timeline ⇢00:00 The Trap So Many Fall Into1:03 What is Self-Discrepancy Theory?02:16 Why we criticise ourselves.04:01 To change and grow, you need surprise.05:52 To experience surprise, you need two things07:02 How to use surprise to stop the cycle.07:49 A hypothetical that can break the cycle.10:55 Replacing criticism13:33 Another way to break the cycle 🔗 Recs of The Week⇢ Want to dive deeper into the topic of today's video? Here are a few resources that you might enjoy... 🔗 Firstly, this paper on negative emotions and procrastination is a really interesting read: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12588926/#:~:text=In%20summary%2C%20most%20of%20existing,positive%20correlation%20between%20the%20two.🔗 Jud Brewer actually wrote a great article on the link between guilt/procrastination loop that I saw after starting to put together this video - great minds - (focused more on the reward of procrastination and body based curiosity) - this article introduced me to the research paper above: https://drjud.com/procrastination/procrastination-guilt/ 🔗 Jud Brewer also wrote Unwinding Anxiety, which goes in-depth on the idea of "mental" habit loops - he talks specifically about anxiety, but I've found myself applying the concepts in this book to much more: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 One of the first people I saw talk about the procrastination/guilt cycle is Dr David Maloney, who wrote a great book called Procrastination Decoded that you might enjoy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 Michelle Segars book, The Joy Choice, talks about the rewarding experience of curiosity applied to health behaviours and exercise: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If you're particularly interested in the idea of "prediction errors" triggered by "symptom deprivation" this wonderful book by Bruce Ecker talks in-depth about the process within Coherence Therapy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If the idea of surprise being a key driver of learning is of interest to you, give "How We Learn" a read. I really enjoyed this book: https://amzn.to/4vb4jvh 🔗 This book on compassion dives into our brain's threat avoidance system and how it can sometimes create efficiency but leave us unhappier: https://amzn.to/3Q40VlD

💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack🎧 *Prefer Spotify? ⇢*→ I drop weekly episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 The Self Honesty Link00:38 Three Sneaky Scenarios02:41 The Squiggly Stuff04:43 Why We Avoid Reality05:16 Grieving Unmet Wants06:50 Optimism Versus Reality07:12 Stockdale Paradox Lesson10:23 Mini Move and Rec🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Jim Collins - Good to Great https://www.amazon.com.au/Good-Great-Some-Companies-Others/dp/0066620996

💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7→ The Upgrade Your Life Playlist _(for simple ways to upgrade your life)_ :https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVp_dlOxoROdW4WB0_eiFRAT→ Design your life for 2026 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnE2AbGax3k&list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXtwK9kxMPJxw3FLzvRiyd🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 It's not new years anymore bb0:18 Reset your relationship2:06 Bring on the revelationss
2:41 Your elephant and your rider
4:15 Your secret projects that are overtaking your vision board
5:27 The warm up
7:04 The slippery slope effect
8:43 Move to V2🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Switch by Chip and Dan Heath: https://www.amazon.com.au/Switch-Chip-Heath/dp/0385528752🔗 Dave* Ramsey Snowball Debt: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/debt/how-the-debt-snowball-method-works