Ep 116: Coercion, Control & the Dark Side of Coaching With SJ Chiovitti
In this powerful episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin sits down with SJ Chiovitti to unpack one of the most uncomfortable yet crucial conversations in the coaching industry: coercive control. With the recent introduction of coercive control laws in Australia, this conversation explores how these dynamics extend far beyond intimate relationships into coaching spaces, creating environments where clients slowly lose their autonomy and self-trust. SJ brings her background in psychology, behavioural finance, and trauma counselling to break down how seemingly supportive mentorship can become psychological captivity—and what we can all do differently.This episode is for you if:You've ever felt like you couldn't disagree with or question your coach without consequencesYou're a coach wondering if you're unconsciously creating codependent dynamics with clientsYou've noticed yourself adopting your mentor's language, style, or opinions without conscious choiceYou want to understand the difference between ethical influence and manipulation in coachingWhat we'll cover:How coercive control manifests in coaching spaces through subtle emotional manipulation and power imbalancesThe predictable progression from admiration to psychological dependence in mentoring relationshipsWhy spiritual and personal development language can be weaponised to avoid accountabilityPractical steps for coaches to create genuinely empowering, sovereignty-supporting containersKey Points and Timestamps:01:42:00 - Defining Coercive ControlSJ breaks down what coercive control actually means and how it removes true consent through psychological pressure disguised as care.09:42:00 - The Progression into High ControlHow coaching relationships start with admiration and gradually shift into psychological captivity through pedestalling and power imbalances.22:50:00 - Creating Ethical Coaching SpacesPractical guidance for coaches on how to maintain client sovereignty, ask before offering insight, and make repair normal rather than rare.43:15:00 - Building Capacity to Speak TruthSJ shares her journey of developing the nervous system capacity to call out harmful patterns while modelling better alternatives.1:04:04:00 - Red Flags and Next StepsClear warning signs to watch for and actionable steps for both coaches and clients to create or find healthier dynamics.Resources Mentioned:Follow SJ Chiovitti: @sj.chiovittiShadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.comShadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademyConnect with Us:This conversation challenges some deeply embedded norms in the coaching industry. Share your thoughts with us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy.If you're ready to learn how to create genuinely ethical coaching containers that support client sovereignty rather than dependence, Shadow Alchemy Certification teaches shadow work through embodied practice and ethical frameworks. Our next immersion is coming up, and we're committed to raising the standard of safety in this industry. Learn more at shadowalchemycoaching.com.
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Ep. 114: The Shadows That Are Sabotaging Your Coaching
Why Your Biggest Blocks Are Keeping Your Clients Stuck TooThis week, Caitlin and support coach Lurinda dive deep into the most common shadows that plague coaches - and how these patterns directly sabotage their ability to create transformative client experiences. From burnout cycles and abandonment wounds to perfectionism and the desperate need to prove themselves, they explore how these shadows create co-dependent relationships, surface-level sessions, and clients who never quite get the breakthrough they're seeking. This conversation offers the uncomfortable truth about why your own unintegrated shadows are the biggest barrier to your coaching effectiveness.This episode is for you if:You find yourself filling every silence in coaching sessions because it feels uncomfortableYou struggle with clients who seem overly agreeable or those who challenge your expertiseYou work harder than your clients do and feel resentment creeping into your practiceYou panic when clients ask questions you don't immediately know how to answerWhat we'll cover:How the "lazy" shadow creates burnout cycles that keep coaches trapped in proving energyWhy abandonment wounds lead to chameleon coaching that serves no one authenticallyThe perfectionism trap that makes coaches talk too much and listen too littleHow to recognise when you're creating co-dependent relationships instead of empowered clientsKey Points and Timestamps:01:19:00 - The Burnout ShadowLurinda shares how the "lazy" shadow drives coaches into exhaustion cycles, working constantly to prove they're not lazy, only to burn out and finally give themselves permission to rest.10:43:00 - The Chameleon EffectHow abandonment wounds cause coaches to shape-shift for each client, creating unsafe containers where neither coach nor client can show up authentically.22:25:00 - The Perfectionism TrapWhy coaches who fear being seen as "not knowing enough" end up dominating sessions, leaving clients feeling unheard and misunderstood.29:26:00 - The Cracking ProcessLurinda describes how the Shadow Alchemy immersion allows coaches to move from rigid personas to authentic presence through being witnessed in their mess.41:05:00 - Integration and Moving ForwardPractical advice for coaches who recognise these shadows in themselves, including how to discern between imposter syndrome and genuine skill gaps.Resources Mentioned:Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.comNext Shadow Alchemy immersion: July 4th-6thFollow Lurinda: @perspectivebylurindaShadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademyConnect with Us:Loved this episode? Share it with a fellow coach who needs this reality check. Tag us @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with your biggest takeaway.If you're ready to face your coaching shadows in a container designed for transformation, the next Shadow Alchemy immersion happens July 4th-6th, and prices increase by $1000 after June 30th. This work isn't comfortable, but it's the difference between performing as a coach and actually being one. Apply at shadowalchemycoaching.com when you're ready to stop letting your shadows sabotage your sessions.
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Ep 113: How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome & Build Confidence as a Coach
In this solo episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin is getting honest about one of the most paralysing experiences coaches face - imposter syndrome.That rising panic before a client call. The second-guessing after a session. The freeze when it’s time to sell your offer. The constant wondering: “Am I actually good at this…or have I just been winging it?”Whether you’ve just started coaching or you’ve got certifications under your belt, imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate. It lingers in the background, convincing you that you need to fix yourself before you’re allowed to help anyone else.In this episode, Caitlin shares the 10 most common signs imposter syndrome is running your coaching business (some you won’t even realise are symptoms), and what it actually takes to build real, embodied confidence - not just the polished Instagram version.She also opens up about her recent wedding, why she changed her last name (yes, she’s now Caitlin Clark), and how devotion - not perfection - is at the heart of both marriage and coaching.This episode is for you if:- You’re avoiding showing up online or selling because you don’t feel “ready enough.”- You feel anxious before (and after) every client session, overthinking every word.- You’ve got the training—but still don’t feel confident in your ability to truly hold space.- You secretly hope people don’t say yes to working with you because you’re afraid you can’t deliver.- You keep investing in personal development to try and fix the parts of you that still feel “not enough.”What we’ll cover: 💬 The 10 subtle signs that imposter syndrome is running your coaching business 🧠 The shame-fuelled belief that you need to be fully healed to help others ⚠️ How overdelivering, overcoaching, and “fixing” your clients can actually be a trauma response 🔎 The difference between fact vs fiction in your self-doubt 👣 The 5 real steps to building embodied confidence (not performative hype)Resources Mentioned:🎓 Learn more about the Shadow Alchemy Certification (investment increases 1 July) https://shadowalchemycoaching.com 💥 Join the free Doubt to Devotion Masterclass on 18 June → Register here (+ $1,000 in live giveaways!) https://shadowalchemycoaching.com/devotion📝 Download the Free Coaching Breakthrough Prompts: https://shadowalchemycoaching.com/breakthrough-short 📸 Follow Caitlin’s wedding reflections: @complete_bycaitlin💬 Hang out with us on Instagram: @shadowalchemycoachingacademyLoved this episode? Please rate, review, and share it! Tag @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with your biggest takeaways - we love hearing what landed.
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Ep 112: The Shadow Alchemy Immersion: Why This Rite of Passage Will Transform Your Coaching Forever
In this revealing episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin and Lurinda pull back the curtain on the powerful three-day immersion that stands at the heart of Shadow Alchemy Certification. They explore why this deeply transformative experience isn't just another coaching workshop, but a genuine rite of passage for anyone serious about facilitating shadow work. If you've ever wondered what actually happens during these infamous immersions or why Caitlin considers them non-negotiable for shadow work practitioners, this conversation offers the unfiltered truth about facing your edges, being witnessed in your humanity, and emerging with unshakeable self-trust.This episode is for you if:You're curious about what really happens in a Shadow Alchemy immersionYou want to understand why simply learning shadow work techniques isn't enoughYou struggle with feeling like an imposter when coaching clients through their shadowsYou're tired of over-preparing and intellectualising instead of truly embodying your workWhat we'll cover:Why the immersion functions as a modern rite of passage for coachesHow being witnessed in your most vulnerable state creates a foundation for authentic coachingThe relationship between shame integration and magnetic presence as a coachWhat to genuinely expect during the immersion (including what happens afterward)Key Points and Timestamps:00:00:00 - The Immersion PhilosophyCaitlin explains why the certification includes a three-day immersion and how it differs from other coaching programs that focus only on skill acquisition without embodiment.08:30:00 - Meeting Your EdgesWhy the immersion intentionally creates a container where coaches must face what they've been avoiding, and how this translates to deeper client work.24:00:00 - The Shame Integration ProcessCaitlin reveals how releasing inherited shame creates true aliveness and magnetism in your coaching practice.40:00:00 - What Actually Happens AfterThe reality of integration after an immersion experience, including potential physical responses, emotional shifts, and how the team supports graduates.52:00:00 - The Choice That Changes EverythingLurinda shares her personal immersion experience and how the pivotal moment of choice creates lasting transformation in coaches' lives and businesses.Resources Mentioned:Shadow Alchemy Certification: shadowalchemycoaching.comFollow Lurinda: @perspectivebylurindaShadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademyConnect with Us:Loved this episode? Share your thoughts with us on Instagram @shadowalchemycoachingacademy. We're genuinely curious about what landed for you.P.S. If you're ready to meet yourself at a deeper level and transform your coaching practice from the inside out, applications for the next Shadow Alchemy immersion in July are now open. This isn't for everyone—and that's the point. Visit shadowalchemycoaching.com to learn more about this rite of passage.
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Ep. 111: Five Signs Your Coaching Isn't Going Deep Enough (and What To Do About It)
In this solo episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin addresses one of the most common frustrations coaches experience: knowing something's missing from their sessions but not understanding how to take clients deeper. If you've ever felt like you're having the same conversations with clients week after week, exhausting yourself with over-functioning, or avoiding certain topics out of fear, this episode pulls back the curtain on what's really happening. This episode is for you if:Your clients say they "already know" their patterns but nothing's actually changingYou feel drained after coaching sessions from doing all the heavy liftingYou secretly doubt whether you can truly deliver the transformations you promiseYou're watching other coaches create profound client breakthroughs while yours stay surface-levelWhat we'll cover:The crucial gap between intellectual awareness and embodied transformationWhy your clients are stuck in loops and how to break the cycleThe uncomfortable truth about why you're avoiding going deeperHow your own fears and shadows are reflecting back through your clients' "stuckness"Key Points and Timestamps:00:00:00 - The Coaching Depth DilemmaCaitlin introduces the common challenge of coaches feeling they can't go deep enough with clients and how this creates imposter syndrome.05:17:00 - Sign #1: "I Already Know That" SyndromeWhen clients intellectualise their patterns but nothing actually changes—the gap between awareness and integration.09:32:00 - Sign #2: The Repeating Conversation LoopWhy you keep having the same discussions with clients and what's actually happening beneath the surface.13:18:00 - Sign #3: Exhaustion After SessionsHow over-functioning and trying to "fix" clients creates burnout and prevents true transformation.18:22:00 - Sign #4: Avoiding Depth Out of FearThe three core fears preventing coaches from going deeper: re-traumatisation, not holding emotions, and not having answers.25:05:00 - Sign #5: Performing Instead of FacilitatingWhen coaching becomes about proving your worth rather than being present with what the client truly needs.30:12:00 - The Mirror EffectHow your clients' patterns reflect your own areas that need deeper work and the importance of doing your own shadow work.Resources Mentioned:Shadow Alchemy Coaching Academy: @shadowalchemycoachingacademyShadow Alchemy Coaching Website: shadowalchemycoaching.comComplete by Caitlin: @completebycaitlinConnect with Us:If this episode hit a nerve, I want to hear about it. Screenshot it, share it on your stories, and tag @shadowalchemycoachingacademy with which sign you resonated with most. This could be the wake-up call another coach in your network has been waiting for.P.S. Ready to stop dancing around the surface with your clients? The Shadow Alchemy Certification isn't about adding more techniques to your toolbox... it's about transforming how you show up as a coach from the inside out. Applications are open at shadowalchemycoaching.com, and yes, you'll speak directly with Caitlin (no gatekeepers here).
If you’ve been thinking ummm WTF is shadow work? and how does it help me? You’re in the right place.
This is your go to podcast that will answer all your questions as well as give you the tools to dig into your shadow so you can set yourself free from the BS holding you back and finally start manifesting that juicy AF life you’ve been dreaming of.
I’m your host Caitlin Hosking, the Shadow Work queen and coach to fierce AF women who want to heal their shit so they can drop the self-sabotage and take control of their futures
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