Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

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Sup, chomos! He’s back! This week Tom’s holding down the Mommy Dome for a special episode with super-agent Ari Emanuel, the WME Group executive chairman and TKO CEO (UFC, WWE), who’s here to talk about his new memoir, Roll the Calls. Tom asks what separates the great agents from everybody else, and Ari gets into learning from Mike Ovitz, turning dyslexia and ADHD into a superpower, his group text with Bryan Johnson and his brother Dr. Zeke Emanuel, and whether he’s a screamer. Plus the question nobody has ever asked him: was he using his old roommate’s cock ring?

From there they get into whether the movie business is really dying (Ari says it’s having its best year), AI as “the greatest average,” and Jonah Hill’s new R-rated comedy. Tom surprises Ari with the apple pancake from his favorite Chicago breakfast spot, which kicks off Tom’s Chicago climb from the “Chicago” Improv in Schaumburg to the United Center, Ari talking trash with Michael Jordan on the 18th green, and Shaq holding a water bottle like a fork.

Tom and Ari also break down the stand-up boom and why ticket fees make every comic insane, whether late night is dead, how Netflix bet big on House of Cards, and why Tom was bummed when Comedy Central passed on his special and Netflix picked it up. Then Ari goes full agent: he tells Tom never to sell the podcast to Netflix. Along the way: the auction motorcycle Ari regrets, Bob Odenkirk’s Mr. Show (Bob reads the audiobook), Mark Wahlberg sticking Harvey Weinstein with a giant wine bill at Cannes, psychedelic therapy for imposter syndrome, almost signing the original Simpsons writers, and the UFC TV deal that became Ari and Dana White’s ultimate F-you. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 885

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Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:01:22 - Taking Punches & What Makes A Super Agent00:09:28 - Be On The Field, Roll The Calls, & Pete Berg's Cock Ring00:16:30 - Is The Movie Business Over? AI Actors & R-Rated Comedy00:22:59 - Apple Pancakes, Chicago & Golfing With Michael Jordan00:31:02 - Kanye, Mel Gibson, & Israel00:36:35 - Jeffrey Katzenberg & The Lakers Courtside Seat War00:44:03 - The Stand-Up Boom, Live Entertainment, & Insane Ticket Fees00:50:19 - Is Late Night Dead? The 22 Share & How Netflix Won00:56:50 - Netflix Bummer & Ari's Advice For The Podcast01:01:57 - Agent Roleplaying01:08:28 - Wahlberg's Revenge Bill & Psychedelic Therapy01:14:20 - Missing Out On The Simpsons & Ari's Best F-You01:20:39 - Dana White, Vince McMahon, & Wrap Up01:26:02 - Closing Song - "Daddio's Patio (feat. Cutter Tha Killer Klown)" by Celador

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Sup, chomos! Christina holds down the Mommy Dome with Comedy Store OG and her friend of 30 years Sam Tripoli, who's in Austin to do Kill Tony and plug his free special, 30 Minutes with Sam Tripoli, from GaS Digital. Sam opens by arguing the world needs assholes again, explains why clean comics are secretly the worst people, and finally tells the story of getting robbed by the same hooker twice in one day. Plus: his Armenian dad throwing him across the room, the homemade wrestling belts he and his brother fought over, and why Christina's sons will never go to a sleepover.

Then M Night Shyamalan is back on his new YouTube channel, this time doing an "ask me anything" with college students at a wing shop. Christina and Sam pause it every 30 seconds for the press-junket setup nobody needed, M Night shaking a server's hand while she's running food, him rephrasing the kid's question, and "just be yourself" advice when what the kid really needs to know is who funds your movie. Along the way they rattle off their all-time favorite movies (Fight Club, Taxi Driver, Ghostbusters, Rushmore), try to get their kids to watch Charlie Brown after the Super Mario movie, and debate whether M Night is a reptilian.

Plus, Christina's Curations: a parrot putting on blush, five grown men in a meowing contest, date night at Dave & Buster's, taser boxing (Sam wants to be its Dana White), deep-fried prison burritos, a man whose family stages an intervention over his TikToks, and a Scottish lady's big day at the Doncaster races. Enjoy!Your Mom’s House Ep. 884

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Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:04:50 - Opening Clip: I Have Diarrhea00:05:53 - Let It Rip: Why Clean Comics Are The Real Assholes00:17:45 - No Sleepovers, Park Creeps, & Furries At Disneyland00:23:26 - M Night Shyamalan's YouTube00:30:08 - M Night's Wing Shop AMA With College Students00:44:33 - Is M Night A Reptilian? & Which Athletes To Date00:51:47 - Christina's Curations: The Makeup Parrot & The Meowing Contest00:58:51 - Taser Boxing & The 80s AIDS Scare01:02:07 - Back To The TikToks01:08:32 - Closing Song - "Big Tits Fart" by Jeremy Shockley

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Happy HallowJEANS!!! This week, Christina holds down the Mommy Dome with her spooky stepdad Duncan Trussell. She's Princess Diana in the iconic revenge dress, and he's a Spirit Halloween box of wine. They relive the day Diana died (including a legendary 1997 home video of a party finding out live on CNN), get into Charles, Camilla and the infamous tampon phone call, and imagine the old royal tradition of the whole court watching newlyweds consummate.

From there: a San Francisco man who turns a cardboard box into his own puppet show, Halloween costumes (the Liberty Mutual guy, a high-end jewel thief, a hazmat suit), dads who dress their kids up as tiny copies of themselves, and why your friends without kids will never understand the bedtime window.

Then the taser finally arrives. After a compilation of people getting zapped, Duncan tases himself with a stun gun straight off Amazon, Tanner takes the bite of the viper, and they unbox a TASER Pulse 2. Plus, a double dose of Curations from Duncan and Christine: a gimp jumping into a bog (and Duncan's runaway gimp at ACL), a harmonica-playing whip balancer, a yoga teacher with a suspicious glow, ChatGPT handling morning wood, a guy walking around Austin with shit in his drawers, e-bike jousting in London, a man singing to the full moon with his mini horse, and a preacher who blames Michael Myers for everything. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 883

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Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:02:42 - The Royal Circle Jerk00:10:48 - Opening Clip: Machines Within Happy Halloween00:14:55 - Creative San Francisco Homeless00:18:29 - Halloween Costumes & Cum Echo Dads00:25:22 - Non-Breeder Friends & Parenting Like David Goggins00:33:16 - Duncan's TikTok Curations00:41:06 - Taser Compilation & Duncan Tases Himself00:45:30 - Tanner Takes The Viper's Bite00:52:36 - Christina's Curations01:06:59 - Closing Song - "Erection Achieved" by Hendawg01:09:33 - Duncan Trussell Will Return

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Sup, chomos! Christina P is back auditioning new dads, and this week's stepdad is the great Harland Williams. Fresh off his first driverless Cybercab ride across Austin, Harland teaches Christina the Canadian art of jigging for squid, then helps her crack the case of a shirtless man in Lancaster who just wants somebody to come over and wrestle. From there it's Robert Paul Champagne's Christmas-wreath apartment, Mickey Mouse's gout, and an energy-healing retreat in a yellow laughing tent that Harland can't stop picking apart.

Along the way, Harland hands out his famous silly nicknames, works his Clint Eastwood from Unforgiven ("We all got it coming, kid") into every possible moment, can't unsee the red vein in Jodie Foster's eye through The Silence of the Lambs, and remembers flying 70 feet over a village as Warwick the Warlock in Disney's Spooky Buddies. When Christina steps out for a pee break, Harland takes over the show.

Plus: a one-tooth Romeo looking for goth girls, a guy who teaches his meat a lesson with a frying pan, the cussing chef, a man scratching his crack on a subway pole, the ass hoop flute elf, a crocodile getting passed around a party, Disney adults, and a screaming breakdancer. Go listen to The Harland Highway podcast right after. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 882

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:05:25 - Opening Clip: Wrestle In Lancaster

00:18:15 - Energy Play, The Laughing Tent, & Harland's First Cig

00:26:50 - Goth Girls, Droopy Dog, & Harland's Silly Names

00:35:24 - Silence Of The Losers & Warwick The Warlock

00:40:31 - The Swearing Chef & A Year Of Being A Mess

00:46:55 - Christina Pees & Harland Takes Over The Show

00:50:46 - Christine's TikToks

01:04:50 - Wrap & Plugs
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Check out Sam’s new special “Incorrect“ on Netflix!

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Sup, chomos! Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome this week with your new stepdad, Sam Morril, whose new special Sam Morril: Incorrect is streaming now on Netflix. Before the opening clip even rolls, the two are swapping notes from their European tours: Finnish house whiskey, Budapest's Terror House museum, the world's oldest Ferris wheel from The Third Man, and post-communist roller coasters with no safety bar.

From there it's reliving Garth Brooks discovering Facebook from a hotel bed, Sam's Ryan Gosling and Matthew McConaughey crushes, the rat extermination from Sam's special, and a Main Mommy breakfast of Prozac, coffee and whiskey. before they spiral into JFK, Marilyn Monroe, and Bill Clinton's jujitsu-level charm.

Plus: Christina's TikTok curations include Chinese Girlfriend guy, the infinite pocket jeans, a chili dog video that would not end, hillbilly beatbox, the night New Orleans cops read Sam's joke notebook out loud, and the YMH courtship hotline remains open for business. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 881

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Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:04:42 - Finnish Whiskey & Budapest's Terror House00:09:30 - Dark Tourism & Post-Communist Roller Coasters00:16:28 - Opening Clip: M. Night Shyamalan's Movie Diary00:20:45 - Garth Brooks Discovers Facebook00:28:35 - Temptation On The Road & Rat Whisperer Sam00:34:20 - Rich Depressed Celebrities & Bombing On Purpose00:41:39 - Infinite Pocket Jeans & Christina's Quadruple Ds00:45:15 - Deadbeat Dads, JFK, Marilyn Monroe & Picky Eaters00:50:58 - Christina's Curations: The Chinese Girlfriend Guy00:56:56 - The Cops Read Sam's Joke Notebook01:00:59 - Grizzly Man & Why Christina Hates Nature01:04:25 - The Never-Ending Chili Dog Video01:08:07 - Hillbilly Beatbox & Degenerate DMs01:15:38 - Is It Cake?01:18:22 - Closing Song - "Mommy Fart'n In Yo Face" by DJ Boy Butter

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