Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

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Go check out Joe DeRosa's "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden" special now on Netflix!

This week, Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome with one of your new stepdads, Joe DeRosa, whose Netflix special I Never Promised You a Rose Garden is streaming now! They open with a man who hand-washes his underwear and dries it in the microwave, which spirals into a briefs vs. boxers debate, Joe's 24-hour road-clothing system, and Christina's divorce-year regimen: ripping darts, Florida-style white wine, thin crust Domino's every day, and depression-eating full KFC family buckets while Joe defends the biscuits.

Joe also answers for his viral Madonna rant, and the two get into how stars should age gracefully, Phil Collins' office chair, Axl Rose's throne, Iggy Pop climbing out of a coffin at Coachella, Catherine Deneuve, Cyndi Lauper, and the de-aged Robert De Niro kicking scene in The Irishman.

Then the real business: finding Christina a new man. The candidates include an asexual lawyer running for California Secretary of State, inmates filming prison dating videos, and the brand-new horny hotline, where suitors like Terry, the cat guy, depressed Justin from Pennsylvania, and front-runner John the Poet make their case. Christina also opens her DMs to review the avalanche of offers that followed her TMZ announcement. Plus teeth-fixing barters, a long tongue in menacing red light, Big Al's pool sandwiches, and one well-manicured goodnight guy who restores their faith in humanity. Plus: Kevin Smith universe friendships, You've Got Mail vs. Sleepless in Seattle, High Fidelity and record store dreams, and Joe's rules for approaching the freshly divorced. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 873

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Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:06:49 - Opening Clip: Microwave Underwear Guy00:17:16 - Weed, Daily Domino's & Sadboi KFC00:23:26 - Carb Fights & The New Mexico Chipotle Story00:29:43 - Madonna, Phil Collins, Iggy Pop, & De-Aging00:39:12 - Danny Elfman, Linda Perry & Joe's Sitcom Cut Story00:42:48 - The Asexual Attorney00:48:40 - Gamer vs. Silly Gamer Clip00:50:24 - Prison Suitors: Inmate Dating Videos00:58:22 - The Horny Hotline: Courting Christina01:04:18 - High Fidelity, You've Got Mail & Record Stores Joe Dreams About01:15:06 - John The Poet01:17:12 - What Actually Matters In A Partner According To Joe DeRosa01:30:02 - More Hotline Calls01:32:51 - Christina Opens Her DMs01:44:32 - Christina's TikTok Curations01:53:51 - Wrap Up

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Well, Tom is back in the Mommy Dome for the first time since the news, and longtime friend Ryan Sickler is in the chair with him. Tom addresses the divorce head-on: why he and Christina have been recording separately for months, getting the TMZ call, and why nobody "made" Christina go first. He also opens up about the state of his DMs, which include a kindergarten teacher looking to "help each other out" and Ryan's own mother, who, Ryan promises, means Tom can get dicked down in Delaware any time.

Tom then opens the show with a dude declaring that anyone who doesn't drink their coffee black is gay, which sends Tom and Ryan into the world of men fighting the internet: a guy debunking AI edits of himself kissing dudes, Daddy Lalogon begging TikTok to stop calling him daddy, and Pastor Manning back at the pulpit with a fresh "get a job" sermon (plus the Suede remix) while the guys debate how many people are actually in that church.

Tom also pitches Ryan on the next dads-and-kids trip: a family resort in the Philippines where the giant Hulk statue's fully detailed dick doubles as a pool fountain, and the owner cannot stop posting slow-tilt reveals of it. Tom develops a whole theory about the man's artistic vision and wants to send a YMH field team to get more details. They also spiral into junkyard Instagram where a guy solving car problems with half-sticks of dynamite and another launching full propane tanks out of a cannon. Plus some horrible or hilarious clips and a debate about Catholicism for the ages. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 872

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Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:19 - Tom Addresses The Divorce00:11:04 - Opening Clip: Milk In Your Coffee00:17:06 - Not Gay It's AI00:23:18 - Sickler Meets Pastor Manning00:35:37 - Summer Trip & Guys Blowing Shit Up Online00:47:30 - The Hulk Is Packing01:00:19 - Clip: Relapse Blame01:01:00 - Horrible Or Hilarious01:07:50 - Battle With Catholicism01:16:10 - Crashing Zoom Meetings01:19:41 - Ryan Sickler's Special01:22:15 - Closing Song - "Daddy Lalogon" by Stoner Stag

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I want to talk about divorce. Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome with Duncan Trussell for the heaviest episode in show history, the divorce episode. Christina addresses it head-on: yes, she and Tom are divorcing after 20 years, no, you don't need to pick teams, and yes, Mommy is ripping darts, drinking wine, and surviving on one Domino's thin crust a day. From there she and Duncan spiral through cancer, TMZ breaking the story while she was in a London pub with Ari Shaffir, and Duncan's own jaw-dropping family divorce story involving a priest and a jammed shotgun.

Then they unpack the International Dick Alert and open some DMs: the guy sending "hey" with one extra Y each time, a Puerto Rican gentleman with a generous offer, the PetSmart employee confusing ferrets and flashlights, aquarium romantic Yung Tang Tang, a Brit promising to beat her vaginal fluid into firm egg whites, and a poly couple charging a $250,000 application fee. A suitor hotline is also officially in the works.

They also hit Burning Man hygiene, spray tan confessions, and a trip down memory lane through an 80s divorce boom including latchkey summers, dads' apartment complexes, frozen hot dogs, dancing with sailors at the Beef and Barrel, and the porn tapes that raised them. Too late for you, too late for the lamb.

Your Mom’s House Ep. 871

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Chapters 00:00:00 - Emotional Intro00:04:55 - Opening Clip: Bobby Lee Swoops In00:13:52 - The TMZ International Dick Alert00:19:31 - The Shadow Of Divorce Trauma00:30:05 - Duncan's Parents, the Priest & the Shotgun00:42:38 - What's Real: Grief, Friends & Love00:59:07 - Single Gal Questions, Horny Hotline, & Reading DM's01:15:48 - Pet Smart Ferret Guy & More Suitors01:39:06 - Christina's Curations02:03:10 - Self Pleasure In Spray Tan Booth02:07:11 - Old School Porn At Dad's Place02:17:57 - Latchkey Kids02:27:37 - Trauma Bonding02:33:51 - Final Thoughts

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Sup, chomos! Tom Segura welcomes the shaman himself, Matt McCusker of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast back to the Mommy Dome.

Tom opens the show with a clip of a man getting pepper sprayed off a plane sends them down a rabbit hole of taser videos, body cam channels, and sovereign citizens. Matt reveals his wife spent five years as a Philly cop, pulling her gun by week three, and Tom recalls his LAPD ride-along with an officer who answered "which time?" when asked if he'd ever fired his weapon. From there: Anthony Weiner debating his way out of a 3-on-1, why psychology is a fake science, the news that oysters are alive when you eat them, and how the World Cup is really America saying "you're welcome."

Plus: a grizzly eats a black bear, a man sexually attracted to forests, a Horrible or Hilarious pool fall for the ages, and Matt's dad discovering Buc-ee's. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 870

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:03:55 - Opening Clip: You're Gonna Get Sprayed

00:04:55 - Tasers, Body Cams & Sovereign Citizens

00:08:52 - Matt's Wife Was Philly PD

00:14:33 - The Ride-Along Cop Who Killed Four People

00:18:27 - Taser Clips

00:24:19 - Trolling Telemarketers

00:30:51 - Pastor Manning

00:37:04 - Elite Debaters & Anthony Weiner

00:45:31 - Clip: Sexually Attracted To Forrests

00:47:11 - Animal Violence

00:51:54 - Welcome To USA

00:56:22 - Horrible Or Hilarious

01:05:26 - World Cup

01:12:21 - Closing Song - "Cool Guy Megamix" by Fart Simpson
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Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates

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Sup, chomos! This week, Tom Segura holds down the Mommy Dome with Steph Tolev, host of Steph Infection, produced right here at YMH Studios, and the proud owner of a brand new American citizenship.

They open with a man being lowered off a New York City bus screaming "fuck your family," which spirals into roid-rage belchers on airplanes and a "NOT GUILTY!" TikTok attorney whose very satisfied client was charged with luring a minor into his vehicle. Then a listener letter from a self-described 30-year slut recounts the guys' card night that went airtight, and Tom and Steph break down the hygiene logistics nobody at that poker table considered. From there, Tom explains how a chance run-in with his old helicopter instructor ended his flying lessons for good, and Steph talks about her white fuzzy dog, and her daily walking schedule. Along the way they get into Pastor Manning's problem with blacks, a Thailand massage confession, plus Tom and Steph's combined résumé of ugly castings: Steph booking Skittles' "Ugly Princess," not fitting into the Spanx at a Bud Light fitting, and Tom's thumbs landing a Sony commercial. Plus: a homeless man shoots his shot, a man with a solid wall of 45 identical teeth, Steph's fiancé Jefferson shits the couch, the Tickle Monster nearly gets an old man killed, and Bulgaria fails to qualify for the World Cup. Enjoy!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 869

https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:00 - 2 Bears 5K, Blowjob Knees, & Big Noses

00:09:25 - Opening Clip: Disabled Traffic Jam

00:13:16 - Not Guilty! The Pervert's Attorney

00:18:39 - Airtight Poker Night

00:23:37 - Helicopter Crashes

00:32:14 - Pastor Manning

00:37:04 - Spa & Casting Stories

00:45:58 - Kinky Unc

00:50:21 - Great Wall Of Teeth

00:53:26 - Elevator Fart Prank

00:55:54 - Sabertooth Singles & Monster Mouth

01:00:49 - Public Pranks

01:07:39 - Closing Song - "Planes Trains and Dad Boners" by Jayzeus
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