The Love Doc Podcast

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 30: That’s My Life Part II – The Rising of the PhoenixIn this deeply moving episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley continues the intimate recounting of her life story, picking up from the tumultuous events shared in Episode 29. This chapter delves into the darkest period of her life, unveiling the profound struggles that ultimately paved the way for her transformation.Dr. Hensley opens the episode by sharing the fallout of her first marriage, marked by her ex-husband’s battle with addiction and abusive behavior. Their relationship ended in a bitter custody battle, during which Dr. Hensley did everything in her power to help him rebuild his life for the sake of their children. However, his sudden marriage to another woman and his decision to redirect his life insurance policies to her left Sarah financially and emotionally shattered, raising their children on her own.The spiral deepened with the tragic news of her ex-husband’s death—a revelation she learned only after others, including her dismissive-avoidant ex-boyfriend, who broke the news to her best friend Raina before Sarah even knew. Adding to her grief, her mother was battling pancreatic cancer, and Sarah was reeling from a breakup with the same boyfriend who continued to breadcrumb her during her most vulnerable moments.At her lowest point, Dr. Hensley’s physical health began to deteriorate rapidly. She woke up one day with debilitating symptoms—her world a blur, everything spinning, and a sensation of walking on a trampoline. After months of misdiagnoses, she was finally diagnosed with vestibular migraines, a condition she was told she might have to live with forever. This was the breaking point where Dr. Hensley felt utterly hopeless, unable to work or care for her daughters.Seeking answers, she turned to therapy, including EMDR and ART, but neither provided relief. She was left wondering why no one was connecting her physical condition to the immense emotional trauma she had endured. It wasn’t until she discovered Alan Gordon’s podcast Tell Me About Your Pain that she began to understand the link between emotional trauma and physical ailments. This discovery set her on a path of healing through faith, science, and self-compassion.Dr. Hensley recounts how a close friend introduced her to Be In Health Ministries, where she began to experience profound spiritual healing, regaining 80% of her health. The remaining 20% came through her study of neuroplasticity and its relationship to pain, empowering her to rewrite her body’s story of trauma and reclaim her life.In the final moments of the episode, Dr. Hensley shares the tools and practices that transformed her life and now form the cornerstone of her coaching and teachings. With a thriving business, a loving marriage, and a peaceful heart, Dr. Hensley’s journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. She closes with a message of hope, encouraging listeners that no matter how dire the circumstances, they too can rise from the ashes like a phoenix.This episode is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, and even in the face of overwhelming adversity, a brighter future awaits.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or one of her Hybrid Group Coaching Programs. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: the_dating_decoderInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyWhat is covered:·The continuation of Dr. Hensley's story..The death of her ex-husband and what led to it.·The story of her experience dating a dismissive avoidant.·The break up story between her and the dismissive avoidant after her mother's cancer diagnoses.  .The spiraling of her life that eventually led to her sickness. .The discovery of "Be in Health Ministries" and Alan Gordman's podcast "Tell Me About Your Pain" both of which led to her path of healing.                                                                                Consider/Ask Yourself:·How can Dr. Hensley's life story inspire me to seek healing?.What resources can I utilize on my own healing journey?·Am I stuck in a vicious cycle with a dismissive avoidant partner that is only adding to the turmoil of my life?.How can I seek help and healing through Dr. Hensley's services so I too can rise from the ashes like a pheonix? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.In episode 29 of The Love Doc Podcast titled “That’s My Life,” Dr. Hensley takes listeners on an emotional journey through her life story. Beginning with her childhood, she candidly describes growing up with a bipolar father whose unpredictable moods created a home filled with anxiety and instability. She explores the dynamics between her parents, highlighting her mother’s unhappiness in the marriage, her Catholic faith that kept her from leaving, and the burdens she carried as the family’s financial provider.Dr. Hensley reflects on how these experiences shaped her early romantic relationships, sharing the trauma of her first love and the patterns that led her to tolerate toxic behavior. She dives into the pivotal moments of meeting and marrying her first husband, recounting the red flags she overlooked, the abuse she endured, and the heartbreaking decisions she made in an attempt to salvage the marriage—including having children during fleeting moments of sobriety.With raw honesty, Dr. Hensley shares painful details of domestic abuse, her ex-husband’s alcoholism, infidelity, and the events that ultimately led her to file for divorce. This deeply personal episode concludes with a teaser for part two, where she promises to share her inspiring journey of healing and resilience. Tune in if you’ve ever faced similar struggles and are ready to witness a story of rising from the ashes.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: the_dating_decoderInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyWhat is covered:·Dr. Hensley's childhood and how it shaped her..Dr. Hensley's first romatic expereinces and how they shaped her.·The story of how she met her first husband.·The story of her abuse and her first husband's infidelity. .How she finally got the nerve to file for divorce.                                                                                   Consider/Ask Yourself:·Can I relate to the type of childhood Dr. Hensley had?.How have my own childhood experiences shaped my choices in romantic partners?·Can I relate to Dr. Hensley's first marriage?.If I can relate to Dr. Hensley's first marriage is it time for me to leave? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 28: The Self-Aware Narcissist with Special Guest The Nameless NarcissistIn this captivating episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley sits down with “The Nameless Narcissist,” a self-aware content creator diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Through his TikTok content, he shares raw and insightful accounts of living with NPD, and Dr. Hensley reflects on how his perspective has deepened her understanding of the condition, especially its origins and impact on relationships.The episode begins with The Nameless Narcissist recounting his journey to self-awareness, including his path to an NPD diagnosis after two years of therapy. He candidly discusses the challenge of being diagnosed due to the nature of NPD, where manipulation and deflection can mask the true symptoms.Dr. Hensley then poses a compelling question: “What’s the one thing you wish people knew about NPD?” His answer highlights the human side of narcissism—that beneath the harmful behaviors, people with NPD still seek connection, worth, and love. He explains that while experts often understand the behaviors, they sometimes miss the underlying motivations.The conversation shifts to the role of control in narcissism. Dr. Hensley brings up a fascinating point from The Nameless Narcissist’s content—that control isn’t about achieving specific outcomes but proving one’s capability to control. This stems from a need for self-esteem regulation, a recurring theme in the discussion.Dr. Hensley shares her personal experience with a narcissistic ex-partner who was a serial cheater. She theorizes his behavior stemmed from a need for constant external validation, which The Nameless Narcissist connects back to the “grandiose highs” that regulate self-esteem.The Nameless Narcissist also delves into his healing journey, including how exploring his caregivers’ pain and trauma helped him release some of his childhood wounds. This insight into intergenerational trauma is a powerful reminder of the complexities behind NPD.The episode touches on the rare self-awareness among those with NPD, with research suggesting only 1% reach this stage. However, The Nameless Narcissist argues the true number is likely higher, as many may feel too much shame to admit their struggles publicly.Finally, the discussion turns to theories of narcissism’s origins. The Nameless Narcissist shares his perspective, describing grandiosity as a safety mechanism to counter deep feelings of unworthiness—a way to feel anything at all.Dr. Hensley wraps up by thanking The Nameless Narcissist for his bravery and empathy, both for those with NPD and for those who’ve been hurt by narcissistic behavior. She encourages listeners to explore his content for further understanding of NPD and its complexities.This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand narcissism through a lens of compassion, insight, and healing. Please go follow The Nameless Narcissit on all platforms @thenamelessnarcissist. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: the_dating_decoderInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyWhat is covered:·Who is The Nameless Narcissit and what is his story..The one thing you want people to know about Narcissitic Personality Disorder (NPD).· The role of control in narcissism.·The theory behind why some narcissist are serial cheaters..The theories behind why only 1% of those with NPD become self-aware.                                                                                      Consider/Ask Yourself:·Am I dealing with someone who has true NPD or someone who just has narcissitic traits?.Do I possibly have NPD?·What is some of the pain that those with NPD are experiencing? .Am I seeking understanding and forgiveness for the pain that I experienced from someone with NPD or am I holding onto resentment?·How can I start to see more humanity in people who have diagnosed NPD?.Do I or someone I know need to seek help and intervention for NPD and/or narcisstic traits?  Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting.Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 27 "The Anxious Pre-Occupied." In this insightful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley delves into the intricate world of the anxious preoccupied (AP) attachment style, which she refers to as the “least common” attachment style she encounters in her practice. While many clients initially come to her thinking that they are AP, Dr. Hensley explains that they often turn out to be fearful avoidant (FA), but think they are AP becuase thier anxiety is heightened due to a dismissive partner. She begins by distinguishing the anxious preoccupied from the fearful avoidant attachment, emphasizing how their formation and behaviors differ.Dr. Hensley provides a thorough explanation of the key factor behind the development of AP attachment: intermittent reinforcement. She describes how AP individuals often experienced inconsistent love and affection from one or both caregivers during childhood. This unpredictability created anxiety and a deep-seated fear of not knowing when they would receive the love they craved.How AP Behaviors Show Up in RelationshipsDr. Hensley explains that anxious preoccupied behaviors in adulthood often stem from early coping mechanisms, including a fawning response. As children, they learned to please their caregivers to gain more consistent love and affection, which translates into adult tendencies of people-pleasing. During conflict, AP individuals often sacrifice their boundaries to maintain harmony and emotional safety, leaving them feeling as though their own needs are never met.A central wound of the AP is the fear of abandonment. Dr. Hensley shares how this manifests as a need to keep peace at all costs, leading AP individuals to apologize even when they don’t know what they’re apologizing for. The toxic trait of codependency frequently appears in their relationships, with APs adopting the belief that “if you’re not okay, I’m not okay.” This fear of abandonment drives them to prioritize their partner’s emotional state over their own, further entrenching unhealthy dynamics.Interestingly, Dr. Hensley notes that APs may sometimes appear dismissive or detached during conflict. However, this is not disassociation but rather a strategy to remain emotionally “safe” by staying silent. Internally, their nervous system is overwhelmed by intense emotions, but they struggle to release or process them.Steps Toward HealingMidway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts focus to practical strategies for AP individuals to heal and regain balance in their relationships. She emphasizes two foundational tools:1. Setting and Maintaining BoundariesAP individuals must learn to set clear, firm boundaries and resist the urge to self-abandon to please others.2. Improving CommunicationDr. Hensley highlights the importance of speaking up and addressing dissatisfaction directly instead of resorting to passive-aggressive behaviors, which stem from their fear of abandonment.By recognizing these patterns and intentionally shifting their behaviors, APs can move away from toxic submissiveness and toward healthier relational dynamics.Why AP Is the Least Seen Attachment StyleAs the episode nears its conclusion, Dr. Hensley shares why the anxious preoccupied is the least common attachment style in her practice. She attributes this to the AP’s deep-seated pride and belief that they can “fix” themselves and their relationships without outside help. AP individuals often tie their self-worth to the success of their relationships, perpetuating a cycle of self-reliance and resistance to professional support.Listener Q&A: Can Attachment Styles Shift?Dr. Hensley wraps up by answering a common question about attachment: Can someone shift from being AP to FA or DA? She clarifies that while all attachment styles share overlapping traits, it’s rare for a person to completely shift styles, except when progressing toward secure attachment. The core wounds of attachment are formed in childhood and cannot be undone, but healing is always possible.This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with AP tendencies or seeking to understand the nuances of attachment in relationships. Dr. Hensley’s compassionate approach and actionable advice make this an empowering resource for personal growth.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: the_dating_decoderInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyWhat is covered:·The behaviors of the Anxious Pre-Occupied.       .Intermittent Reinforcement as a key factor in the formulation of Anxious Pre-Occupied attachment style.· How AP's show up in relationships.·Steps towards healing Anxious Pre-Occupied Attachment.   .Why the Anxious Pre-Occupied is the least seen attachment style in Dr. Hensley's practice.                                                                                      Consider/Ask Yourself:·Do you think that you are Anxious Pre-Occupied when you may actually be Fearful Avoidant?·Did you grow up with a fairly good childhood but feel like you got inconsistent love and affection from one or both of your caregivers?.Are you self abadoning inside of your relationship?·How can you start setting healthy boundries within your relationship and how can you start to stick to them?.How can I learn to express my needs and wants within my relationship in a healthy and compassionate way?.Do I need to seek help and intervention for my AP attachment style? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.