The Coaching Crowd® Podcast with Jo Wheatley & Zoe Hawkins

What happens when the coaching we intend to be supportive becomes another pressure our client has to manage?
"What would you like to focus on today?" It is a familiar opening question in coaching, and one we might ask with every intention of putting our client in control. Yet that question can involve much more than we realise: identifying priorities, weighing up possibilities, making a decision and wondering whether the answer will meet our expectations.
In this episode, we explore when coaching becomes another demand, and what this means for neurodivergent inclusive coaching. Our conversation invites us to look beyond our intentions and become more curious about how our clients experience the space we create.
We begin by exploring demand sensitivity and how everyday coaching questions can carry an unexpected sense of pressure. An invitation to reflect might feel like an expectation to have an answer. A conversation about actions might become a fear of disappointing the coach. Returning to an unfinished goal might bring a sense of failure into the room before the client has had an opportunity to explain their experience.
As we talk, we reflect on how much a client's capacity can change from one day to another. Someone arriving after a difficult morning may experience a question very differently from someone who has had time to settle. This brings emotional regulation, co-regulation and cognitive load into our thinking about accessible coaching.
We explore what it might mean to begin with a welcome and allow someone time to arrive. We consider how giving permission to pause, leaving a decision open or inviting an experiment can create more room for exploration. We also acknowledge the complexity: offering more choices can sometimes increase overwhelm, and even a gentle check-in can feel like another demand.
One of our strongest reflections is that reducing demands does not mean reducing ambition. Creating greater autonomy and a sense of safety may help a client find more capacity for meaningful exploration and action.
We also distinguish everyday demand sensitivity from the more complex experiences discussed in relation to a PDA profile, and reflect on the importance of specialist learning and recognising the limits of our practice.
Throughout the conversation, we return to the assumptions we can make about resistance, commitment and progress. A client's spoken agreement may sit alongside tension or discomfort that has not yet been expressed. Our role is to stay curious about that experience.
This episode is an invitation to notice where our coaching adds pressure, where we can create more space, and when the most helpful intervention may be to stop asking for something.
 
Timestamps:
- 00:00 Welcome and why coaching can feel demanding
- 00:46 Understanding demand sensitivity
- 02:19 The hidden pressure in everyday coaching questions
- 04:18 How stress and emotional regulation affect capacity
- 05:14 Allowing clients time to arrive and settle
- 06:19 Why more choice is not always helpful
- 07:15 The demands behind a familiar opening question
- 08:20 Noticing and responding to the individual client
- 10:18 Reducing demands while maintaining ambition
- 11:17 Cognitive load and gentler coaching language
- 13:16 Demand sensitivity, PDA and specialist practice
- 15:28 Spoken commitments and bodily responses
- 17:08 Rethinking resistance and our assumptions
- 18:06 Neurodivergent inclusive coaching training
- 18:36 Combined training offer and information session
 
Key Lessons Learned:
- Support is defined by the client's experience. Our intention to help does not automatically mean that a question or intervention feels supportive.
- Open questions can carry hidden demands. Prioritising, deciding, processing emotions and finding words can all add to a client's cognitive load.
- Capacity changes. Stress and the demands of everyday life can influence what a client is able to engage with during a particular session.
- More choice can increase overwhelm. Offering alternatives needs to be responsive to the individual rather than treated as a universal solution.
- Reducing pressure can support meaningful progress. Making space for autonomy does not require us to lower our aspirations for the coaching.
- Experiments can feel more accessible than commitments. An invitation to explore or notice something may create more room for the client to choose their next step.
- Resistance deserves curiosity. We need to explore what is happening rather than assume that reluctance reflects a limiting belief or lack of motivation.
- Verbal agreement does not tell the whole story. Where accessible to the client, exploring bodily responses may reveal discomfort that their words have not expressed.
- Specialist needs require appropriate learning. Awareness of demand sensitivity is valuable, while working with more complex profiles may require further training and support.
 
Keywords Used:
When coaching becomes another demand, demand sensitivity, neurodivergent inclusive coaching, coaching questions, emotional regulation, co-regulation, cognitive load, accessible coaching, autonomy, PDA profile, resistance in coaching, coaching commitments,
 Links & Resources: 
-          November training offer and information session - https://www.igcompany.com/November26

What if the pressure to prove our value as a coach is getting in the way of the space our client needs?
In this episode, we explore a question that comes up frequently in coaching supervision: "Am I adding value as a coach?" Whether we are beginning our coaching journey or have years of experience, that question can bring uncertainty, self-doubt and a strong desire to know we are doing meaningful work.
We begin by looking beneath the question itself. Are we wondering whether our client is making progress, whether we chose the right intervention, or whether we are good enough? Wanting to do our work well is natural. But when our attention shifts towards securing reassurance, we can lose connection with the person in front of us.
Together, we reflect on who gets to decide what valuable coaching looks like. As coaches, we might look for a breakthrough, a decision or a clear action. Our client might value something quieter: uninterrupted thinking time, the chance to say something aloud for the first time, or a question that leaves them seeing their situation differently. Coaching effectiveness is not always visible within the session.
One story brings this uncertainty into focus. Early in our coaching experience, a client finished an engagement describing the conversations as interesting but struggling to identify what they had gained. The experience left a sense of disappointment and questions about whether enough had been done. Around ten years later, that client made contact and described the coaching as the single biggest influence on a significant life change. The impact had developed beyond the time we shared.
We also explore why greater experience does not necessarily remove coaching self-doubt. Previous client transformations, recommendations and a growing toolkit can create pressure to deliver something equally significant every time. Non-directive coaching asks us to notice that pressure and remain responsive to the client's agenda.
There are practical ways to stay connected with client learning. Regular coaching check-ins can help clients recognise what is emerging, rather than leaving all reflection until the final moments. We discuss how to use these questions in service of the client, alongside noticing our own urge to strive, taking a breath and returning to coaching presence.
Our conversation also considers people pleasing, pride in our work, relationship dynamics and the feelings that can surface when we begin charging for coaching.
We finish with a different question: are we creating the conditions in which something valuable can happen? That shift invites us to trust the coaching process, recognise the client's contribution and bring our uncertainties into supervision.
Timestamps:
·         00:00 Welcome and introduction
·         00:06 Am I adding value as a coach?
·         00:51 Taking the question into supervision
·         01:45 Using check-ins to support client learning
·         03:06 Who decides what counts as value?
·         04:29 When coaching value is not immediately visible
·         05:25 Why experienced coaches can question their impact
·         08:07 Introducing tools for the client's benefit
·         09:20 A client story: discovering the impact ten years later
·         11:42 What would change if you had nothing to prove?
·         12:32 Exploring approval, pride and people pleasing
·         15:09 Returning to presence when striving appears
·         15:48 Exploring relationship and systemic dynamics
·         16:53 Creating the conditions for value
·         17:47 How clients contribute to the value of coaching
·         18:57 Session length, expectations and trusting the time available
·         20:08 Charging for coaching and feelings of worthiness
·         21:08 Supervision, coach training and further development
Key Lessons Learned:
·         Value can emerge after the coaching ends. A client may need time to process an experience before recognising its influence.
·         A breakthrough is one possible outcome. Thinking space, being heard and exploring uncertainty can also be valuable.
·         Check-ins should support the client's learning. Asking what is emerging helps clients recognise their own discoveries.
·         Experience can bring additional pressure. Recommendations and previous successes can increase our expectations of what each session should achieve.
·         Our toolkit needs to serve the client's agenda. Before introducing an activity, we can consider whether the client needs it or whether we are seeking reassurance.
·         Self-awareness helps us return to presence. Noticing an urge to prove ourselves gives us an opportunity to pause, breathe and reconnect with the client.
·         Value is co-created. The client's goals, engagement and willingness to explore shape what becomes possible.
·         Supervision offers space to examine the question. We can explore how approval, professional pride, money and relationship dynamics influence our practice.
Keywords:
Am I adding value as a coach, coaching supervision, coaching effectiveness, coaching self-doubt, non-directive coaching, client learning, coaching check-ins, coaching presence, client transformations, trust the coaching process, charging for coaching, people pleasing, The Coaching Crowd Podcast,
 Links & Resources:
·         Website: igcompany.com

What can happen when a coach resists the urge to fix, reassure or move the conversation along, and stays fully present with the client instead?
In this episode, we explore witnessing in coaching: the practice of being with a client as they encounter an emotion, insight or change, without needing to direct what happens next.
We explain how witnessing is related to deep listening, but distinct from it. Listening communicates, "I hear you"; witnessing communicates, "I'm here with you while you encounter this part of yourself."
We discuss the moments when witnessing can matter most: a client's emotion rising as they speak, a realisation they have never voiced before, or a new perspective that is only beginning to take shape. These moments can involve grief or fear, but also relief, freedom and excitement. The coach's silence and presence can give the client room to let the experience settle and find its own meaning. We reflect on how quickly a coach's wish to be useful can turn into action, questions or solutions, and how stepping back can help the client stay with their own learning.
We also explore the difference between witnessing and validation, and how the two can sometimes follow each other in a coaching conversation. Witnessing can help clients feel safe enough to bring more of themselves into the room, including the uncertainty that comes with a changing identity. Whether someone is becoming a new leader, adjusting to a different family role or moving on from a business, the coach can offer space to explore who they are becoming without defining it for them. We reflect on the care and courage this asks of both coach and client, and why presence can be a powerful coaching skill in its own right.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introducing witnessing in coaching
01:47 What witnessing looks like in an emotional moment
04:01 How witnessing differs from listening
06:18 Giving new insights time to settle
08:30 Staying present without rushing to solutions
10:39 Witnessing across the emotional spectrum
12:41 Witnessing, validation and client experience
13:57 Why witnessing helps clients pay attention
15:59 Seeing and accepting the whole person
17:59 Witnessing identity shifts and emerging change
20:08 Tolerating discomfort and staying present
20:38 Developing witnessing as a coaching skill
Key Lessons Learned:
Witnessing means staying present with a client's experience without rushing to change it.
Deep listening and witnessing are connected, but witnessing also communicates that the coach is with the client as they encounter something within themselves.
Silence can give a new insight or emotion time to settle and develop.
Coaches can notice whether their urge to act comes from what the client needs or from their own need to feel useful.
Witnessing can hold many emotions, including joy, relief and freedom, as well as sadness or fear.
Witnessing an emotion does not mean agreeing with the client's interpretation of events.
A calm, accepting coaching space can help clients explore identity changes and build self-trust.
Coaches need to be comfortable enough with their own reactions to remain present with the client.
Keywords:
Witnessing in coaching, coaching skills, coaching presence, deep listening in coaching, emotional coaching, coaching conversations, client centred coaching, coach training, continuing professional development for coaches,
Links & Resources:
https://igcompany.com/, including coach training programmes and the Emotions Coaching Practitioner Training.

What could change in a coaching conversation if we asked a different opening question?
We often fall into familiar habits when a coaching session begins. In this episode, we explore how the first question can shape a client's focus, the direction of the conversation and how present they feel. We share a range of coaching questions designed to help clients notice what matters to them, rather than relying on the same opener every time.
Some questions help a client sort through competing priorities. Others invite them to notice what feels most alive, what they might need to leave outside the room, or where they could make progress. We also explore questions that make room for uncertainty, unresolved issues and the parts of a person that may not yet have had a voice. As we discuss each one, we reflect on how a question might land differently depending on the client and what they bring to the session.
We found ourselves returning to the importance of curiosity, choice and partnership. Questions about courage and possibility can open up new ways of thinking, while asking what the coach should be mindful of can strengthen the coaching alliance. We also discuss the power of a small word like "yet" to ease pressure and invite a sense of possibility.
These questions are invitations, not a checklist. We talk about using them thoughtfully, in the context of the client's goals and the work already underway. Our hope is that coaches and people developing coaching skills will find a question that helps them listen differently, create space for reflection and support meaningful progress.
Timestamps:
00:00 Why coaching openers matter
01:47 Sorting through competing priorities
03:22 Asking what feels most alive
05:15 Making space to be present
06:48 Inviting courage into the conversation
08:29 Focusing on progress
09:43 Making room for the unresolved
11:22 What someone has been trying to resolve alone
12:10 Giving a part of the client a voice
14:10 Exploring what has not yet been discussed
15:04 The possibility in the word "yet"
15:30 What the client wants the coach to be mindful of
19:38 Asking what is possible today
20:31 Exploring an avoided conversation
22:51 Choosing questions with care
23:56 Coaching course information
Key Lessons Learned:
The opening question can influence the focus and tone of a coaching session.
A question about energy or what feels alive may reveal more than asking only about the most urgent problem.
Clients can choose what to bring into a session and what to leave outside.
Questions about courage, uncertainty and possibility can create space for deeper reflection.
Asking what the client wants from their coach can strengthen partnership and the coaching alliance.
A question is an invitation, not a tool to apply automatically. Its value depends on the client and the context.
The word "yet" can reduce pressure and help a client see that change remains possible.
Keywords:
Coaching questions, types of coaching questions, powerful coaching questions, coaching conversation, coaching session, coaching skills, coaching clients, coaching alliance, coaching practice, coach training,
Links & Resources
mycoachingcourse.com, mentioned as a place to take a quiz and explore coaching courses.

Have you ever felt your mind go blank in a coaching session and wondered what you are supposed to do next?
We explore the moments coaches can experience as panic: a client arrives with an unexpected goal, shares something difficult, asks what we would do, or sits in silence while we search for the perfect question. We reflect on how these moments can show up as anxiety, uncertainty, shock or feeling lost, for new and experienced coaches alike.
We discuss how panic can be information rather than a problem to eliminate. When we rush to fill silence, reach for a model, give advice or steer the conversation towards a solution, we may be trying to manage our own discomfort instead of staying alongside the client. We consider how to recognise whose panic might be present, notice what is happening in the body and mind, and question the expectations we place on ourselves. Coaching does not require us to have an instant answer, and the client remains responsible for their own progress.
We share practical ways to work with a blank mind or a stalled conversation, including asking what feels important, what the client is noticing, or what might happen if we did not try to solve the issue yet. We also explore how coaching supervision and reflective practice can help us understand recurring patterns beneath our panic. The conversation returns to a central idea: the coach's presence, curiosity and capacity to sit with uncertainty can be more valuable than having another tool to use.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introducing panic in coaching
02:47 Treating panic as information
04:52 Whose panic is in the room?
06:57 When interventions ease the coach's discomfort
09:25 Expectations and the fear of not knowing
12:00 Questions to use when a session feels stuck
15:33 Moving beyond problem solving
18:24 Exploring recurring panic in supervision
22:02 Building self-understanding as a coach
23:57 Pausing, grounding and returning to the relationship
25:36 Emotions coaching practitioner training
Key Lessons Learned:
Panic can offer useful information about the coach, the client or the wider context.
Before intervening, ask whose discomfort the intervention is trying to resolve.
A moment of silence or uncertainty does not mean the session has failed.
The client is responsible for their progress; the coach does not need to solve the goal for them.
Simple questions can reopen exploration when a coach feels stuck.
Supervision can help uncover the beliefs and patterns behind recurring coaching anxiety.
Self-awareness helps coaches notice activation and return to curiosity and connection.
Keywords:
Coaching panic, coaching anxiety, emotions coaching, coaching supervision, reflective practice for coaches, coaching skills, client autonomy, managing uncertainty in coaching.
 
Links & Resources
Emotions Coaching Practitioner Training: igcompany.com/emotionscoaching