That's Where I'm At

At a San Francisco beach, Melanie Gore thought she was having a panic attack—until the feeling turned into laughter, and she recognized joy she'd never felt before. On That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Melanie, a Certified Hypnotherapist, Women's Confidence Specialist, RTT Practitioner, and Life Coach who helps women overcome anxiety, codependency, narcissistic relationships, limiting beliefs, and ADHD-related emotional challenges.
Melanie shares her own transformation through RTT and how it inspired her to help women rebuild confidence, trust themselves, and create lives they genuinely love. Together, Laura and Melanie explore childhood patterns, codependency, rediscovering your identity, and practical ways to build self-trust through small, everyday changes.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Introduction and content warning (00:00:00) Melanie describes choosing positivity and going with life's changes; Laura introduces the podcast and warns about potentially triggering topics.
Melanie's path to hypnotherapy and personal growth (00:01:31) Melanie explains how codependency, self-help, and therapy led her to train in Rapid Transformational Therapy and help others.
Recognizing codependency and rebuilding self-worth (00:04:29) Melanie discusses childhood patterns, people-pleasing, and learning to accept herself rather than seek others' approval.
Boundaries, identity, and narcissistic relationship patterns (00:13:05) They explore self-love, repeated relationship dynamics, shifting goalposts, and the value of time alone to rediscover identity.
Midlife freedom, confidence, and starting over (00:18:18)  Laura and Melanie reflect on reclaiming personal choices, trying new things, and building a life that feels authentic.
Recognizing abuse and deciding what comes next (00:23:06) Melanie shares how she discovered joy and emphasizes readiness, self-trust, and choosing whether to remain in an unhealthy relationship.
Living alone and rediscovering interests (00:29:54) They discuss fear of loneliness, rebuilding friendships and hobbies, and treating discomfort or experimentation as opportunities to grow.
Therapy tools and practical self-support strategies (00:35:09) Melanie describes her RTT process, inner-child work, self-affirmation, journaling, and practicing kinder self-talk.
Changing thought patterns and setting boundaries (00:38:06) Melanie outlines ways to challenge old beliefs, trust intuition, communicate confidently, and avoid absorbing hurtful comments.
Childhood patterns, parenting, and family healing (00:43:18) They discuss changing inherited behaviors, apologizing to adult children, and allowing family members to do their own healing.
Where to find Melanie and episode closing (00:50:01) Laura shares Melanie's website and social links, recommends RTT, thanks her guest, and closes the podcast.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Melanie, "I was trying to fit in in a way that other people would accept me. And when I got to the place of 'I'm okay with who I am, I like who I am, I'm a good person,' then I started to blossom."
Melanie, "You end up with no sense of who you are left. You're just like this empty vessel, and you're trying so hard to understand why you can never get it right."
Melanie, "The biggest shift, I think, is when you get to spend some time on your own and get to decide who you are and who you want to be."
Melanie, "That first third was kind of my parents. The second third was my kids. And now this part is for me. And that's exciting."
Melanie Gore, "You're not a different person. You've just started to find out who you are."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW MELANIE:
WEBSITE: www.melaniegore.com
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/transformational_hypnosis
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieGoreHypnotherapy
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@MelanieGore-ConfidenceCoach
 
"Reclaiming yourself begins when you find the courage to name your truth and choose your own path."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Tia Levings, a New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife, her memoir of escaping Christian patriarchy, and I Belong to Me: A Survivor's Guide to Recovery and Hope after Religious Trauma. Tia shares her journey of escaping abusive marriages and a high-control religious environment rooted in strict gender roles and fundamentalism.
Tia writes about religious trauma, evangelical patriarchy, and the Trad Wife movement, helping decode the fundamentalist influences that shape news and culture. Her work and insights have been featured in Teen Vogue, Salon, Newsweek, and HuffPost, and she has appeared as a speaker, podcast guest, and on the Amazon docu-series Shiny Happy People.
During the conversation, Tia discusses "author divorce," career sabotage, and the importance of having accurate language to name and understand trauma. She emphasizes that recovery is a gradual process that requires community, boundaries, and self-reclamation. Based in Raleigh, North Carolina, Tia is a mother of four adult children and continues to support survivors through her writing, speaking, and advocacy.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Podcast Introduction (00:00:30) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from toxic relationships and secrets.
Trigger Warning (00:01:19) A brief announcement warns listeners that the episode's content may be triggering and advises them to take care.
Guest Introduction: Tia (00:01:28) Host Laura introduces guest Tia, a New York Times bestselling author and survivor of religious trauma and domestic abuse.
The "Author Divorce" and Career Sabotage (00:02:34) Tia discusses how her success as an author led to her second divorce, a phenomenon she calls "author divorce."
Finding Freedom After Leaving (00:08:20) The host and guest discuss the immense freedom and clarity they felt after leaving their abusive partners and toxic environments.
Tia's Early Life and Religious Indoctrination (00:13:50) Tia describes her childhood, moving from a culturally Christian background to a high-control megachurch and fundamentalist subculture.
Marriage, Abuse, and Escape (00:19:37) Tia recounts her quick marriage, the immediate onset of abuse, and her eventual escape from a church-sanctioned domestic abuse situation.
The Healing Journey and "I Belong to Me" (00:23:38) Tia explains the importance of rebuilding oneself after trauma and the premise of her second book on healing.
Navigating Covert Abuse (00:26:46) The discussion covers the insidious nature of covert psychological abuse and the difficulty in recognizing and unpacking its impact.
Healing with Adult Children (00:29:28) The host and guest share experiences of apologizing to their children for past indoctrination and finding healing in their relationships.
Setting Spiritual Boundaries (00:34:32) Tia explains why she keeps her current spiritual beliefs private, offering a boundary for those deconstructing their faith.
Writing "A Well-Trained Wife" (00:41:45) Tia details the decade-long process of writing her memoir, driven by the rise of Christian nationalism under Trump.
The Power of Naming Abuse (00:44:10) The conversation highlights how having the language to name experiences like narcissistic abuse is a crucial first step toward healing.
Who Should Read "I Belong to Me" (00:50:38) Tia explains that her second book, while titled with "religious trauma," is for anyone healing from high-control or toxic relationships.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Tia, "The minute I walked out, I felt like a dog that somebody opened the gate for, and I started running."
Tia, "Now I am just free. It's so much peace that my creative fountain is overflowing, and I can get my work done."
Tia, "I used to think I suffered from a lot of imposter syndrome, and it turned out, no, I just lived with somebody who continually moved the goalposts."
Tia, "I remembered who I was before they told me who I had to be."
Tia, "Language has been the number one thing, I think, that's helped me more than anything else—just having the accurate names for my experiences."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
ALL BOOKS BY MY GUESTS: https://www.amazon.com/shop/lauranarcissistawareness/list/27V6DP1K008NA?ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_mixed_d
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW TIA:
WEBSITE: https://tialevings.com
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/tialevingswriter
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TiaLevingsWriter
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@theworkingwriterpodcast3510/
 
"Reclaiming yourself begins when you find the courage to name your truth and choose your own path."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Darlene Lekowski, an Amazon bestselling author, motivational speaker, and business leader who transformed decades of silence into a powerful platform for truth, healing, and advocacy. Darlene shares how she endured sibling sexual trauma and abuse from two brothers between the ages of 7 and 12, carrying the experience in silence for 50 years due to shame and threats.
After finding her voice and revealing the truth in 2021, Darlene faced a civil lawsuit brought against her by one of her brothers and ultimately prevailed in the case in 2024. She shares how therapy, writing, and speaking helped her navigate her healing journey and reclaim her voice. Her memoir, Shattering Silence: A Story of Survival, Justice and the Power of Telling the Truth, became an Amazon Best Seller and #1 New Release in multiple categories and is available in print, ebook, and audiobook narrated in her own voice.
Today, Darlene speaks to corporate, leadership, and survivor audiences, encouraging others to let go of the silence, reclaim their voice, and Live Forward with courage, resilience, and agency.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Podcast Introduction (00:00:39) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to break the silence around women's stories and promote healing through sharing.
Content Warning (00:01:28) A brief warning is given to listeners about potentially triggering subjects discussed in the episode.
Introducing Darlene Markowski (00:01:37) The host introduces guest Darlene Markowski, an author and speaker who survived sibling sexual trauma and abuse.
Why Darlene Broke Her Silence (00:03:27) Darlene explains why she kept her abuse a secret for 50 years, citing shame and threats from her brothers.
The Impact of Trauma (00:06:06) Darlene discusses living with undiagnosed C-PTSD and how trauma manifested throughout her life, leading to control and perfectionism.
Survival Strategies as a Child (00:09:06) Darlene shares the strategies she developed as a child to survive, such as becoming a tomboy and being athletic.
The Catalyst for Speaking Out (00:15:25) After her mother's death, a text argument with her brother Don led to Darlene finally revealing the abuse.
First Disclosures of Abuse (00:18:45) Darlene recounts the first times she told anyone about the abuse, including her boyfriend at 17 and friends.
The Prevalence of Sibling Sexual Abuse (00:24:51) Darlene highlights how common sibling sexual abuse is, emphasizing the need for parents to talk to their children.
Telling Her Children (00:27:43) Darlene shares her fear of telling her children about the abuse and their surprisingly understanding and supportive reaction.
Confronting Her Brothers (00:30:47) Darlene describes confronting both of her abusive brothers, one of whom initially confessed before recanting his statement.
The Defamation Lawsuit (00:33:24) Her brother Don sues Darlene for defamation after she reveals the abuse, leading to a two-and-a-half-year legal battle.
The Trial and Verdict (00:36:58) Darlene recounts the six-day trial where a jury unanimously found her truthful, winning both her case and countersuit.
The Healing Journey (00:38:10) Darlene realizes the legal victory didn't heal her, prompting her to write her book and focus on releasing her anger.
Finding the Right Support (00:41:40) The importance of finding trauma-informed therapy, joining survivor groups, and exploring various healing modalities is discussed.
Darlene's Advocacy Work (00:47:36) Darlene talks about her public speaking, where she shares her story with survivors, corporate leaders, and university students.
Where to Find Darlene (00:50:25) Darlene shares her website, DarleneSpeaksUp.com, and social media handles for listeners who want to connect with her.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Darlene, "I had two brothers who sexually abused me from the ages of 7 to 12. I hid it, kept it in a box for 50 years."
Darlene, "I had kept it in a box. I thought I was good, but the box always leaks. Trauma always finds you."
Darlene, "I was so ashamed because I froze. I didn't understand that freezing is a solid, research-founded trauma response. I blamed myself."
Darlene, "In less than an hour, a unanimous jury of 12 decided I was telling the truth, he was lying, and I won both cases."
Darlene, "Don't give up on yourself. Focus on you. So many of us focus on what happened to us or the person that did this to us."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW DARLENE:
WEBSITE: https://www.darlenespeaksup.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/darlenelekowski/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/Darlene-Lekowski/61575781889793/
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darlene-lekowski-0ba1962/
BOOK: "Shattering Silence" Amazon Link: https://a.co/d/0eNNvFjC
 
"Your truth can become the voice that helps others heal."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Christine, author of The Truth She Showed Me, her personal story of surviving 17 years of coercive control and gaslighting. Christine is also the Director of a Fortune 500 company and holds an MBA, yet behind the success and accomplishments, she endured years of manipulation, isolation, and abuse that were invisible to those around her.
Christine shares her journey from silence to speaking out, describing the early warning signs, escalating control, and trauma bond that kept her trapped. She reflects on the healing process, the importance of naming abuse, and how writing her book helped validate the experiences of others. Together, Laura and Christine emphasize that coercive control doesn't have a look, leaving is complex, healing is possible, and breaking the silence around abuse is essential.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Creating Awareness Through Shared Stories (00:00:00) Christine discusses creating a movement of awareness around coercive control through sharing stories and videos to help people self-diagnose.
Podcast Introduction (00:00:35) Host Laura introduces the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, its purpose, and her personal experience with a narcissist.
Content Warning (00:01:24) A brief content warning is given, advising listeners that the episode may contain potentially triggering subjects.
Guest Introduction: Christine (00:01:33) Laura introduces her guest, Christine, author of "The Truth," who survived a 17-year marriage involving coercive control and gaslighting.
Why Christine Started Speaking Out (00:02:58) Christine explains her journey started with silence and nonverbal therapy, then moved to journaling to validate her experiences for her children.
The Power of Naming Your Pain (00:08:38) The discussion covers how naming the abuse (e.g., gaslighting, DARVO) empowers survivors and helps them begin the healing process.
Planning a Safe Exit (00:09:26) Laura and Christine emphasize the importance of leaving an abusive relationship quietly and strategically, highlighting the increased danger during separation.
Christine's Story: The Beginning (00:10:42) Christine shares how she met her ex-husband at 23, the quick progression of their relationship, and early red flags.
The Start of Isolation (00:12:26) Christine recounts an early incident where her husband demanded she not discuss their marital problems with her parents, beginning her isolation.
Reaching Out for Help (00:15:07) Christine describes a terrifying night when she reached out to her sister-in-law for help, only to be told not to involve her.
Living with a Volatile Temper (00:18:16) Christine details her ex-husband's intense, unpredictable temper, which could be triggered by anything and kept her constantly on edge.
Testing the Waters with Friends (00:21:01) After leaving, Christine began sharing small details with friends and family to gauge their reactions and combat her self-doubt.
A Public Confrontation (00:24:24) Christine recalls a time her ex-husband publicly screamed at her in a bar for not answering her phone, which he hadn't even called.
The Post-Divorce Glow Up (00:28:59) The conversation turns to the physical and emotional transformation survivors experience after leaving an abusive relationship, like having "sad eyes" disappear.
Abusers Playing the Victim (00:31:17) They discuss how abusers refuse to acknowledge their behavior, often twisting the narrative to portray themselves as the victim.
The Final Straw (00:36:52) Christine shares the moment she realized her situation would never change and began planning her exit to regain financial security.
A Sign to Leave (00:40:02) A chance encounter with a woman who read her palm gave Christine the final push she needed to file for divorce.
Why She Wrote the Book (00:46:53) Christine explains she wrote her book to validate her children's experiences and to help other survivors find the words for their pain.
The Narcissist's Self-Awareness (00:50:47) Christine shares a story of her ex asking if he was a narcissist, highlighting how they manipulate and test their partners.
How to Find Christine (00:55:36) Christine shares her social media handle and where to find her book, "The Truth," on Amazon.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Christine, "Because you can't see the bruise, you can't see the broken bone, I wanted to be able to give people the experience that would help them assign words and feel validated."
Christine, "It was just almost a prayer at some point, like if he'd just hit me, if he'd just give me a black eye, nobody's going to question that I can leave."
Christine, "From that moment, for the next 16 years, everything I lived through, I lived through by myself, and I didn't have to."
Christine, "If they can control their anger everywhere except for in front of you, they can control their anger. This is not an anger management problem."
Christine, "I decided because I was worried that someday my children would be trying to figure out if what they lived through was real."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
 
FOLLOW CHRISTINE:
WEBSITE/BOOK: https://a.co/d/0bqLefXb
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thetruthsheshowedme
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584467686272
TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetruthsheshowedme
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@thetruthsheshowedme
 
"Breaking the silence is the first step toward reclaiming your truth and your life."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.