This episode picks up from "She Knows How to Ride" (two weeks ago), shifting focus from the wife's physical pain journey to her husband's inner experience — seen through her eyes.
The couple entered marriage with high hopes and open communication about their sexual relationship. But on their honeymoon, penetrative sex was too painful for her to complete. A year later, little has changed — and he's become increasingly withdrawn, citing tiredness or lack of desire, leaving her feeling rejected and questioning herself.
Dr. Corey and Pam explore two possible explanations for his withdrawal:
1. He may genuinely be the lower-desire partner. This is more common than people expect — roughly 25–30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife. If so, the question isn't why he isn't initiating more, but whether he can distinguish between his actual desire level and the desire he's buried to avoid causing her pain.
2. He may be hiding behind "kindness." He could be a higher-desire man who's pulled back out of fear of hurting her — physically and emotionally. But there's a harder question underneath that: is he protecting her, or managing his own anxiety? Because what she actually wants isn't a husband who goes through the motions of obligatory sex — she wants someone present and engaged, something worth riding.
The episode draws a parallel to Corey and Pam's own early marriage, where a disclosure just before the wedding shut Corey down for years — a reminder that a single event can rewrite the script for a long time, but it doesn't have to be permanent.
The real issue isn't which scenario applies to him. It's whether he's willing to lean in and find out — to be known, to show up with presence even when the answers aren't clear yet. That presence changes everything: the quality of touch, eye contact, the feeling of actual connection versus going through the motions.
In the extended content: a deeper dive into the masculine-feminine dynamic and what presence actually looks like in marriage.
The post Nothing To Ride #787 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.
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