Make Your Damn Bed

You are not only what you consciously intend. You are also what you habitually avoid, deny, and disown. The shadow is not your enemy, and it is not your identity. It is the place where refused life accumulates, waiting to be integrated into a conscious relationship.

Shadow work can support personal growth because it reduces the need for denial and projection. It can also soften the intensity of emotional reactions, not by erasing emotion, but by making emotion more intelligible. It can support better relationships, in part because you become less driven to assign your unwanted qualities to others.

One thing I appreciate about the villain archetype is the confidence it implies. Darth Vader isn’t gonna procrastinate because he is too tired or lacks the confidence to start. Bad guys don’t tend to second guess themselves constantly or question whether or not they deserve it. They always deserve it. They don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s approval.

https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explained

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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You're not broken, you're human. And being human is often difficult and contradictory work.

Shadow work is grounded in deep internal reflection, not self-optimization.

"Jung describes the shadow as containing not only rejected or socially unacceptable impulses, but also normal instincts and creative capacities that have been disowned in the process of adaptation. The problem is not that these impulses exist. The problem is whether they remain unconscious and therefore act autonomously.

Integrating the shadow does not mean indulging it or acting it out. It means recognizing that certain impulses, emotions, or desires are part of your psychic reality and taking conscious responsibility for how they are held and expressed.

Jung emphasizes that this task "challenges the whole ego-personality," requiring sustained ethical effort rather than a dramatic confession or catharsis.

From this perspective, shadow work does not excuse harmful behavior. On the contrary, it reduces the risk of unconscious enactment by bringing disowned material into conscious awareness. This is why Jung places ethical responsibility firmly with the ego. Awareness increases choice. Lack of awareness increases compulsion."

https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explained
https://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/

Read Julie's Medium Blog.
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Info on War Tax Resistance.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
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Confidence, drive, boundary setting, focus, and self-led intention are considered "bad traits" in a patriarchal society, but they aren't.

https://moral-ranking.fandom.com/wiki/Villains
https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explained
https://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/

Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
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One thing I appreciate about the villain archetype is the confidence it implies. Darth Vader isn’t gonna procrastinate because he is too tired or lacks the confidence to start. Bad guys don’t tend to second guess themselves constantly or question whether or not they deserve it. They always deserve it. They don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s approval.

https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/
https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journey
https://www.abuddhistlibrary.com
https://academyofideas.com/2020/02/how-to-integrate-your-shadow/

Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
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We all love the idea of a redemption arc. We love the idea of hitting rock bottom and bouncing up and transforming into a confident, powerful badass permanently. As humans, we tend to see things in black and white, before and after, cut and dry. But it’s important to remember that no timeline or journey or arc is linear.
Unfortunately life, and healing, is a messy process. Unfortunately it is not something you can win or lose, but instead relies on a perspective shift that allows compassion and integration to be able to react better, not perfectly.
Prioritizing yourself (after years of not) might piss off the people around you who are used to you self sacrificing for them. This transition period will be uncomfortable for them and you. Adjust anyway.
Again, I’m not saying to be mean or neglectful but you must learn to set some actual boundaries, and start to take yourself and your own capacity into consideration, and stop abandoning yourself in order to take care of everyone else. When you do this, with enough time and practice, you’ll be teaching others that they are capable of taking some of the burden they’d offloaded onto you. And you’ll be teaching your own nervous system you are safe and someone who can be trusted. Correcting those who criticize or dislike or misunderstand you cannot become the priority. You have to build your tolerance for unpopularity.
Now admittedly, I initially had some hesitation to say embrace your “villain” era because I don’t want anyone who is already evil to feel empowered to be more evil, but I do truly believe that there is a select few of us human beings who need to be explicitly taught how to prioritize ourselves, which means we need to unlearn some of the ingrained habits that make us feel like we HAVE to be “good” a the expense of what is actually fair and right. So the villain I’m speaking about is not the type of villain that will harm others to get ahead, but instead the type of villain that realizes the power in prioritizing their needs so they can get back to elevating the collective needs of the world around them. I’m speaking specifically to those people who’s empathy for other people has become such an inherent part of their identity that they’ve forgotten their own humanity in the process.
The idea is to integrate the parts of ourselves we’ve blocked out so we can become whole. Integration is the goal, instead of leaning into the tendency to neglect certain aspects and label them as undesirable.

SOURCES:

https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/
https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journey
https://www.abuddhistlibrary.com

Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.