Feminine Energy Fatigue & The Myth of Being Chosen
A longtime listener sent in a question that speaks to something many women have wondered:
“How does one become a woman who builds up a man and always makes them more confident and stronger? How do I get into my feminine state and energy around a guy on a date?”
In this episode, Damona shares what it really means to be “in your feminine,” explores the gender polarity debate, and offers a new way to think about strength, softness, and self-worth in modern relationships.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
How to support your partner without losing yourself
Why feminine energy isn’t a fix—it’s often a performance
How dating narratives get passed down and when to rewrite them
Why your wholeness—not your polarity—attracts the right match
What true balance looks like in an equal partnership
Resources & Links:
Download Damona’s FREE Frustration-Free Dating Guide
Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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25:54
The Nice Guy 9 & The Materialists Myth
After watching The Materialists, a long-time listener sent in a question that struck a chord:
“What’s it going to take for us to kill the curve and stop dating by height, BMI, salary, or things that don’t speak to true character?”
In this episode, Damona unpacks the real-life impact of checklist dating, explores the illusions behind modern matchmaking, and responds with practical advice for anyone who’s ever felt overlooked or friend-zoned.
Plus, she shares her “Nice Guy 9” framework—9 simple shifts that help you connect more deeply and date more intentionally.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
How dating checklists quietly sabotage real connection
What The Materialists gets right—and dangerously wrong—about dating culture
The matchmaking myth and what it really costs (literally and emotionally)
Why bad boys always win—and why that isn’t actually what’s happening
The Nice Guy Nine: Damona’s go-to dating strategy for deeper connection
How to shift your love story by changing the stories you tell yourself
Resources & Links:
Download Damona’s FREE Date Tracker
Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook
Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Leaning Left but Swiping Right: Politics & Dating
This week, Damona takes on a question from longtime listener Vernee, who’s back in the dating scene after a hiatus… and hitting a wall when it comes to finding someone who shares her political and social justice values.
Vernee asks: "I'm politically progressive, very values-driven, and living in a purple state. I've tried everything — hints in my profile, direct chats — but nothing’s working. Where are the men who believe what I believe?"
If you’ve ever wondered how to communicate what matters without scaring people off — or how to find someone who’s actually aligned — this one’s for you.
In this episode:
• Why dating apps might feel harder now than they did just a few years ago
• How political identity and core values have become deeply intertwined
• What to say in your profile (and what to leave out)
• Why texting about politics rarely works — and what to try instead
• Where to meet values-aligned people beyond the apps
• The line between staying open-minded and lowering your standards
Submit your question: call or text 424-246-6255
Follow Damona on IG: @damonahoffman
Get your free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com
Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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29:23
Master Class Mini: The 8 Biggest Dating Mistakes
Dating today isn’t always smooth sailing. There’s ghosting, bad first dates, texting traps... and if you’re feeling stuck in the same old dating loops, you’re not alone.
In this Dates & Mates Master Class, Damona Hoffman breaks down the eight most common dating mistakes she sees after 15+ years of coaching singles, and shares actionable fixes to help you date smarter, not harder.
Whether you’re tired of swiping, struggling to make real connections, or caught in negative self-talk, this episode gives you the clarity and tools to reset your dating approach.
What you’ll learn:
How to stop ghosting, and stop getting ghosted
The danger of “obliga-swiping” and how to date with intention
Why texting too much before a date kills chemistry
The power of refreshing your dating profile regularly
How to overcome negative self-talk and fear of starting over
Why having a dating plan beats waiting for a fairy tale
If you have questions about your love life, Damona wants to hear from you. DM her on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255 for a chance to have your question answered in an upcoming Dear Damona segment.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Master Class: First Dates Decoded
Damona Hoffman breaks down one of the most important moments in dating—the first date—and how to make it count. Whether you’re getting back out there or swiping with new optimism, this episode shares how to set yourself up for success so that first date leads to a second.
Damona covers everything from whether to Google your date to how long a first date should really last, what to wear, where to go, and how to follow up. She even shares seven fun, low-pressure first date ideas that help build real connection.
What you’ll learn:
How long a first date should actually last
Why dinner dates don’t set you up for success
The value of a pre-date phone call (and when to do video)
What to wear to make the best first impression
How to choose a first date location that creates connection
Seven easy, fun, and affordable first date ideas
If you have a relationship or communicationquestion you’d like answered on a future episode, send Damona a DM on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts.
Dates & Mates is the 2022 Winner of The Best Podcast of the Year at The Black Podcasting Awards, #1 ranked love and relationship podcast by Cosmopolitan Magazine and a Top 10 Pick by HuffPost in the love category.
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