Celebrate Kids Podcast with Dr. Kathy

What if the words we speak over our kids aren't just communication, but are actually creation? In this episode of Facing in the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy tackle a new claim from psychologist Dr. Chelsea Haug-Zavaleta that children should receive 100 compliments a day to thrive emotionally. Dr. Kathy challenges the research, explaining that it's not about the number of compliments, it's about the ratio of affirmation to correction and the meaning behind our words. She offers practical insights for balancing affirmation with healthy boundaries, showing how kids form identity through the voices they trust most. Together, Wayne and Dr. Kathy unpack what it means to parent fragile and resilient kids, share how correction can build character rather than shame, and connect the science of affirmation to the biblical power of blessing from Genesis 27. This episode reminds us that spoken love forms lasting truth, and that a few sincere words can build what a hundred empty praises never could.

In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy respond to a landmark legal case that is already reshaping conversations around gender, medicine, and parental fear. A 22-year-old woman, who identified as male as a teenager, was awarded $2 million after a jury found that medical professionals failed to follow standards of care when approving irreversible surgery while she was still a minor. The case raises sobering questions about pressure, fear, consent, and what happens when adults rush to solve a child's distress rather than fully understanding it.
Rather than debating politics or policy, this conversation centers on parents, especially those who feel trapped between wanting their child to be safe, wanting them to be happy, and being told that immediate medical intervention is the only loving option. Dr. Kathy speaks candidly about how fear, particularly fear fueled by suicide narratives, can override discernment, silence conscience, create fear, and lead families to decisions they never imagined they would make.
The episode explores a crucial distinction: dissatisfaction is not the same as identity. Many kids experience discomfort with their bodies, peer rejection, teasing, or confusion during puberty, but discomfort does not automatically require eradication. Dr. Kathy challenges parents to ask better questions, slow the process down, and help children understand why they feel dissatisfied before affirming irreversible conclusions.
Drawing from Raising Gender-Confident Kids, the discussion reframes confidence not as denying struggle, but as building the moral and emotional "chest" that helps children hold discomfort without being swept away by fear or cultural pressure. Parents are encouraged to walk with their kids through seasons of confusion, offering presence, truth, protection, and endurance, rather than rushing to solutions that promise immediate relief but carry lifelong consequences.
Rooted in Scripture, the episode reminds listeners that many temptations come dressed as compassion, offering partial truths without full disclosure of cost. Children are especially vulnerable to these narratives when adults bypass conscience in the name of urgency. True love, the hosts argue, does not panic; it shepherds.
This episode offers parents courage, clarity, and hope: you are not cruel for slowing down, asking questions, or helping your child sit with discomfort. In fact, that steady presence may be the very thing that forms confidence, resilience, and lasting peace.

For years, success has been measured by degrees earned, income achieved, titles held, and recognition gained. But what happens when those markers keep shifting, leaving people exhausted and unsatisfied? In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy Koch wrestle with a growing cultural question: If we don't define success for our kids, who will, and will they like where it leads them?
Drawing from a recent EdSurge reflection, the conversation explores how achievement based definitions of success often move the goalposts endlessly, leaving even high achievers feeling behind. Dr. Kathy challenges parents to recognize that children are always watching, not just what we say success is, but what we live as if it is. Our calendars, conversations, sacrifices, and celebrations quietly teach our kids what matters most.
Rather than anchoring success to prestige or productivity, Dr. Kathy reframes it through a Christ centered lens: identity in Christ, lives marked by abundance rather than accumulation, and purpose expressed through service and sacrifice. Success, she argues, is not about becoming impressive, but about becoming who God created you to be and stewarding that calling with competence and faithfulness.
Rooted in the biblical story of Bezalel, the craftsman called and equipped by God, this episode reminds parents that Scripture celebrates faithful skill and obedience far more than status or acclaim. When children are taught that success means living with integrity and purpose before God, they gain clarity in a world eager to define them by outcomes alone.
This conversation invites parents to reclaim the definition of success, not as something to chase endlessly, but as a life of abundance and faithful stewardship.

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "3abb279b-4b5e-4449-9ab3-92c186da07ee" data-testid= "conversation-turn-188" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> As conversations about banning phones and curbing screen use grow louder, parents are left asking an honest question: Is technology the problem, or are we? In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy Koch explore new legislative efforts around screen limits and use them as a springboard for a much more personal conversation about parenting and formation.
Dr. Kathy reframes the issue with clarity and grace: technology itself isn't the enemy, but when it becomes the primary way kids (and adults) cope with boredom or anxiety, something essential is lost. Parents are challenged to look inward first, recognizing that kids will struggle to give up screens if adults aren't willing to do the same. The episode explores why screens often become a refuge for anxious hearts, and why removing them without replacing them leaves kids unprepared to process life well.
Rather than advocating for extremes, the conversation centers on coexisting wisely with technology. Parents are encouraged to build alternative rhythms that include quiet, prayer, creativity, play, conversation, and service, so screens aren't the default solution to every uncomfortable moment. Dr. Kathy also offers a clear, realistic vision for a family tech policy: visible alternatives, no devices in bedrooms, strong boundaries, character based decisions, and parents who are confident enough to say no without guilt.
Grounded in Jesus' teaching about the Sabbath in Mark 2, the episode reminds families that limits are not punishments; they are gifts. Just as rest was designed to restore humanity, wise tech boundaries protect attention and relationships. When children learn that they are valued apart from constant stimulation or connection, they gain freedom rather than restriction. This episode equips parents to lead with humility and courage, helping technology return to its rightful place as a tool, not a ruler.

In this episode of Facing the Dark, Wayne Stender and Dr. Kathy Koch unpack a surprising trend from a recent CDC report: many traditional adolescent risk behaviors are declining, but anxiety and fear are rising. While this may sound like good news on the surface, the conversation asks a deeper question: What happens when kids don't take the kinds of risks that help them grow?
Dr. Kathy clarifies that this isn't about encouraging dangerous behavior, but about restoring appropriate, guided risk, the kind that builds confidence, competence, humility, and resilience. From trying out for a team to walking to the library alone, kids need chances to stretch, stumble, succeed, and recover. When parents remove every risk in the name of safety, children may internalize fear rather than strength.
The episode also speaks directly to parents' hearts. Letting kids struggle is hard. Watching disappointment hurts. But our response in those moments, whether we frame the experience as growth or regret, shapes how children understand themselves. When kids know they are supported and not defined by outcomes, they grow into adults who believe they can handle life.
Grounded in Jesus' parable of the talents in Matthew 25, this conversation reframes risk taking as stewardship rather than recklessness. Avoiding all risk doesn't preserve potential; it buries it. Parents are encouraged to know their individual child well and offer a longer leash when the stakes are manageable. In doing so, they help their kids develop the courage and resilience they'll need for the darker, harder moments that inevitably come later in life.