37. Chronic illness, healing my relationship with my body, past life karma and manifesting healing
I have endometriosis and it’s been the single biggest challenge I’ve experienced in my life. But it’s taught me how to stop trying to control and change my body, and how to be in healthier relationship with it. It’s also brought me into deeper spiritual reverence for the wonder that is the human body’s ability to survive and be steadfastly committed to the soul’s purpose. And most recently, it’s revealing a major past life karmic lesson I have to heal about disempowerment and a sacrificial lamb relationship I’ve had with my growth path and ability to choose the life I want to life. Listen to my story and explore where in your life you might be ready to let go of familiar pain that no longer serves you.Themes: Psychosomatic healing, past lives, self-acceptance, empowerment, manifestation, chronic illness, spirituality
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1:01:47
36. Truth is not absolute: Letting go of certainty and finding freedom in not knowing
In this episode I’m waxing lyrical about the nature of truth and whether it serves us to try make truth absolute. I believe that this is something we do to try cope with reality and to try to feel safe. But the need for right and wrong, black and white, truth and lies, and absolute knowing and certainty limits us. It only separates us from others, makes us struggle to accept reality, makes us make premature declarations of knowing when we have no clue at all, makes us more likely to make mistakes, keeps us small, and makes us gate keep knowledge and wisdom to horde power and resources. It just increases our suffering.What I hope for as individuals and mankind at large is that we can let go a little of needing to know with certainty and needing to be right. May we learn to hold the discomfort of not knowing and of multiple things being true at once so that we can transcend both the conflict that society has descended into and the separation that infects our relationships and inner union. This is what brings true freedom. PS: This episode was in the backlog - it was recorded at the beginning of February when the year felt fresh, hence the “New Year” check in :)PPS: I kept mixing up Human Design Gate 63 and 64. Brain fog during to ovulation plus being in the middle of an inflammation flare… Gate 63 is the Gate of Doubt - it’s an energy that seeks to push the logic and understand patterns and then correct the patterns that aren’t working or are compromising our safety. It asks: Is this true? Gate 64 is the Gate of Confusion - it’s an energy that constantly wants to analyse the past and understand what it meant so we can learn from it - it holds the gift of being able to wade through confusion and handle the pressure of not knowing. It asks: What does this mean?Themes: Fear of the unknown, the nature of truth, letting go of control, multi-dimensionality, transcendence, spiritual awakening, the meaning of life, trusting time
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1:11:32
35. Codependency 2: Breaking unhealthy dating patterns & emotional avoidance
In today’s conversation I share the culmination of 5 years of discovering and beginning to overcome my unconscious emotional avoidance one failed relationship at a time. I explore the origins of emotional avoidance, including parentification, unhealed childhood wounds, good-girl conditioning and attachment styles. I discuss unravelling repeating dating patterns and mistakes, deciding enough was enough, and finally becoming willing to be seen and loved as an imperfect woman with healthy needs worth meeting and not as the impervious Florence Nightingale one-dimensional archetype that I people-pleased and parentified myself into in order to avoid punishment and rejection. Phew, that was a long-ass sentence! Let’s dive in. P.S. After recording this episode, I woke up at 2am compelled to research codependency and realised it encapsulates everything I was talking about in this episode! It also explains the relational fallout I discussed in the previous episode. Here’s an awesome article you can read to learn more about codependency. Themes: Childhood trauma, attachment styles, breaking unhealthy dating patterns, emotional avoidance, relational healing
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55:58
34. Codependency 1: Navigating conflict and platonic relationship endings
A little update on my life turned into a reflection on recent platonic relationship endings that have rocked my world and made my world the last few months. I achieved something I never would have been able to had I not stood for myself and found my voice in some of my closest relationships. But it took time for things to unwind and for me to accept the relationships had to end, so of course they were ripped out of my bloody hands when I finally reached my limit and said No. It’s ok for things to take time and we must allow our process to unwind in its own way without judgement. I also explore how my Human Design explains my conflict resolution style and has helped me to find deeper self-acceptance and work with my style to get aligned outcomes. It will also show you where you can look in your chart for yours. PS. After recording this episode, I woke up at 2am compelled to research codependency and realised it encapsulates much of what I was talking about in this episode! It also explains the romantic relationship lessons I discuss in the next episode. Here’s an awesome article you can read to learn more about codependency. Themes: Conflict resolution, relationship endings, human design
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51:18
33. Clawing your way back to joy after an impossible loss
How do you move on from the loss you never thought you could survive? How do you make sense of it? When your very foundation is obliterated, how do you find new ground? How do you believe that love is safe and become willing to let joy in again when it feels like it is that very love that caused you so much pain?
Not having the answers to these questions and the fear that extreme loss will destroy us makes us try to avoid grief at all costs or bypass it by trying to process it as fast as possible. But this only keeps us small and blocks us from learning what it’s here to teach us and arriving at its greatest gift – pure love and expansive joy.
Join me as I share my journey through the most devastating 4 years of my life (loss of my long term health, my father, 3 extremely close relationships from childhood, my career, financial security and my ability to work) and the lessons that led me, miraculously, to the other side.
** Here’s a link to an image of the Star Ancestor card by Kyle Gray that I share in the card reading at the end of the episode.
Themes: Grief, death of a loved one, chronic illness, relationship endings, surrender, trust, abundance, clawing your way back after loss
** PS: As a spirit gift to you all I’m giving away a free 75-minute oracle card reading to 5 people. This is an amazing way to get guidance from your guides, learn 2024’s lessons, or call in something you are trying to manifest. DM me on IG or send me an email on www.tenjimoyana.com/book **
Life is a lot! I'm constantly growing, learning and maturing in my understanding of what it means to be alive and how to apply my lessons to have an easier, more fulfilling life. I'm Tenji Moyana :) Alive is a casual blog-style podcast where I'm sharing what I'm learning about what it means to be alive and make the most of our existence. If you're into leadership, I also host the Abundant Leaders Podcast.
South Africa