The Autism Little Learners Podcast

Understanding the different communicative functions of AAC means looking beyond "I want" and helping autistic preschoolers communicate what really matters to them.
Their family celebrates when Lily says NO.
That's what Stefanie, Lily's mom, told me, and this week you'll hear her tell it herself. Including the morning Lily looked at her mom and said, "Words inside."
This is week four of our AAC Awareness Month series, and it picks up right where last week's episode on modeling without expectation left off. Once we're modeling AAC, the next question is: modeling what?
So much AAC still centers on requesting. I want bubbles. I want cracker. Requesting matters. But it's just one of many communicative functions, and in AAC it often gets most of our attention.
In this episode, I'm asking a bigger question. Not "Can this child give me the response I'm looking for?" but "Does this child have a way to express their own thoughts?"
You'll hear autistic AAC user Jordyn Zimmerman describe what robust communication lets her do, and we'll talk about choice versus agency, what it really means to honor NO, and why protest is communication too.
Because communication isn't really communication if the only messages we're willing to accept are the ones we want the child to say.
In This Episode, You'll Learn:
Why requesting is just one tiny part of communication

The words to check for on a child's device, including STOP, I DON'T WANT, DON'T HELP ME, NOT THAT ONE, and THAT'S FUNNY

What Jordyn Zimmerman says robust AAC lets her do

The difference between choice and agency

What honoring NO looks like when something still has to happen

How protest shows up beyond a neatly produced "no"

A simple one-day AAC modeling audit you can do without changing anything yet

Why some vocabulary makes life easier for adults, while other vocabulary makes life richer for the child

Key Takeaways
Requesting is one small part of communication.
Think about your own day. "That's funny." "I'm tired." "Wait." "I changed my mind." Very little of our everyday communication is about asking for something.
What's on the device influences what a child can say.
If a child can say MORE but not STOP, or I WANT but not I DON'T WANT, we've given them a way to get things, but not the same opportunities to express their agency.
Choice isn't the same as agency.
Picking the red cup or the blue cup is choice. Agency means you can say "neither," "the green one," or "stop asking me about cups," and the people around you respond.
Honoring NO doesn't mean the child always gets what they want.
It means we acknowledge their communication. We can say, "I hear you," and then negotiate, offer another option, change the timing, or figure out why something isn't working.
Protest is communication.
Pushing away, turning away, crying, moving away, or tapping ALL DONE are all ways a child might communicate. Before labeling something as noncompliance, ask yourself what the child might be telling you.
Our AAC modeling sends a message.
The words we model help show children what they can talk about. Let's make that world big!
Robust vocabulary is personal.
Dinosaurs, elevators, burping, AGAIN, and maybe even NOT THAT SONG AGAIN. Children deserve access to vocabulary that reflects their interests, personalities, preferences, and experiences.
Try This in Your Classroom or at Home
You don't need to change everything about how you're modeling AAC. Start with a few small steps.
Check the device. Can the child refuse, comment, change their mind, and say how they feel?

Honor protests. The next time a child protests, start with "I hear you. You don't want to do this."

Notice your modeling. For one day, pay attention to which words you're modeling without trying to change anything yet.

Make vocabulary personal. Add words for one thing the child loves and one thing they really don't like.

Try this week's challenge. Pick one child and write down five messages they might want to communicate that aren't requests. Then model those messages during one familiar routine.

No copying required. We're inviting, not quizzing.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Continue the AAC Awareness Month Series
Episodes 194, 195, and 196: Previous episodes in our AAC Awareness Month series, including modeling AAC without expectation

Related Podcast Episodes
Episode 78: Lilly's Voice: AAC For Everyone! — Hear more from Stefanie and Lily about their AAC journey.

Episode 181: What Autistic AAC User Jordyn Zimmerman Wants Every Educator to Know — Learn from Jordyn's experiences and perspective on communication.

Free Resource
8 Ways to Honor Protests — A practical guide to recognizing and responding to children's communication with compassion and respect.

Coming Up Next Week
Next week, we're wrapping up our AAC Awareness Month series by talking about how to fit AAC into the day you already have, and why trying to do everything perfectly might actually be getting in the way.

What color is it? Where's the dog? Show me red. Tell me with your talker. If you support AAC users, you might be really good at quiz mode. I know I was.
As an SLP, I was trained to elicit responses. I wanted repetitions. I wanted data. I wanted to know: can they do it? And here's the tricky part: quiz mode feels like teaching. We're trying to help. But communication isn't supposed to feel like a test all day.
This is part 3 of our AAC Month series. Last week, in Episode 195, we talked about why children don't need to prove they're "ready" for AAC. When I asked where you get stuck, more than one in four of you said the same thing: what do I do when I model and the child does absolutely nothing?
That's what this episode is about.
I'm sharing what modeling without expectation really looks like, why silence doesn't necessarily mean nothing is happening, and what to do in that quiet moment instead of asking again. You'll also hear two clips from my friend Rachel Madel, SLP, whose phrase "inspire, don't require" sums up this whole conversation.
Because we're teaching language. We're not administering a test.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
What modeling without expectation looks like in everyday play, like a car going down a ramp

Why "quiz mode" feels like teaching but can make communication harder

What it's like to learn a new language while someone keeps asking, "What's this?"

Why silence doesn't necessarily mean nothing is happening

How heavy prompting can teach children to wait to be asked instead of starting communication themselves

Why prompting isn't "bad," and the question to ask about what yours is teaching

How to turn questions into comments

What to do when you model and the child still doesn't respond

Key Takeaways
Quiz mode feels like teaching, but it adds pressure. Questions and directives like "Show me red" and "Tell me with your talker" can turn communication into a test.

Modeling without expectation means modeling and moving on. The car goes down the ramp, you say and touch GO, and you keep playing. No "Your turn" or "Show me go."

Silence doesn't mean nothing is happening. A child may be processing what you said, managing sensory input, or finding a word on their device. Model, then pause, without filling the wait with more questions.

Heavy prompting can teach children to wait. Rachel Madel explains how a compliance-driven approach can teach kids to be responders instead of initiators.

Prompting isn't bad. It can be a helpful scaffold. The question is what it's teaching: dependence on the adult, or growing independence.

Questions can become comments. "Whoa... RED!" instead of "What color is it?" "Mmm... MORE" instead of "Do you want more?"

Follow what matters to the child. Rachel shares how she noticed her student had turned to his lunchbox and modeled OPEN instead of sticking to her plan.

Every model has value. If the child doesn't respond, that's okay. They still saw and heard language used by an adult who wasn't demanding anything back.

Try This
For ten minutes, listen to yourself and notice how many questions and directives you give.

Pick one and turn it into a comment, modeling the word as you say it.

After you model, pause. Give space, not a stare.

If the child is focused on something else, model a word for what they care about.

Choose one routine this week (play, snack, getting dressed, or circle time). Every time you're about to ask a child to show you something, ask yourself, "Could I model this instead?"

Resources & Links
AAC Month Series: This is part 3. Start with Episode 195: Stop Making Kids Prove They're "Ready" for AAC.

More from Rachel Madel: Listen to Episode 91: AAC & Modeling Without Expectation With Rachel Madel.

Too many questions? Episode 178: What If Too Many Questions Are Quieting Your AAC Learners? goes deeper.

Keep Learning: Read the companion blog post, Modeling AAC Without Expectation in the Classroom.

Free Guide: Get the 3 Simple AAC Shifts for three easy changes you can try in tomorrow's routines.

Next Week: We'll go beyond "I want": why AAC isn't a success just because a child can request Goldfish, and a family who celebrates when their daughter says NO.

As we continue AAC Awareness Month, I want to talk about an idea that kept far too many children from getting access to robust communication for far too long:
The idea that a child has to be "ready" for AAC.
Maybe they need to point first. Match pictures. Understand cause and effect. Show intentional communication. Sit and attend. Or start with something "simpler" before they can have access to a robust AAC system.
Many of us were actually trained to think this way. I was too.
But today we know something really important: there are no prerequisites for robust AAC. Access is the first step — not the reward.
In this episode, we'll talk about what it really means to give children access to AAC before expecting them to perform with it. We'll also look at some of the things that can make adults wonder whether AAC is "working" — like repeatedly pushing the same button, not responding after we model, or even pushing the device away — and what might happen when we replace judgment with curiosity.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why children do not have to prove they're "ready" for AAC

How outdated ideas about AAC readiness have influenced the way we support children

Why access needs to come before performance

What research tells us about using AAC as an early communication intervention

Why AAC does not prevent spoken language development

Why children who use some spoken words may still benefit from AAC

Why communication should be multimodal — including speech, gestures, signs, pictures, core boards, devices, typing, and more

What it might mean when a child repeatedly pushes buttons or explores their AAC device

Why AAC "babbling" can be an important part of learning

What we can consider when a child pushes their AAC away

Why honoring "no" and "not right now" is part of supporting autonomy and communication

How presuming competence changes the way we respond to unexpected communication

One simple way to remove a barrier to communication access this week

I also share a story about a three-year-old AAC user I worked with who surprised me one day by telling me, "This is boring." 😂
It was a powerful reminder that when a child communicates something we aren't expecting, our job isn't to immediately dismiss it as accidental. Sometimes we need to stop, stay curious, and believe them.
Because a child not knowing how to use something they haven't had meaningful opportunities to learn is not evidence that they're incapable of learning it.
Our kids shouldn't have to prove they're ready for communication.
Access is where learning begins.
Related Resources & Links
3 Ways To Make AAC Work In Busy Classrooms  (free guide)
Autism Little Learners AAC Resources
Donaldson, A. L., corbin, e., Zisk, A. H., & Eddy, B. (2023). Promotion of Communication Access, Choice, and Agency for Autistic Students. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 54(1), 140–155.

A quick heads up before you listen: Jordyn prepared some answers ahead of time and responded to others in real time, so you'll hear pauses between each question and Jordyn's answer. I challenge you to resist the urge to fast-forward through the wait time. Sitting with that silence is one of the most important skills of a good communication partner — in this episode, and in your classroom.
 
As we get ready to kick off AAC Awareness Month on October 1st, I'm bringing back one of my most meaningful conversations for this special encore episode.
 
I'm joined by Jordyn Zimmerman, an autistic woman who is non-speaking and a full-time AAC user. Jordyn shares her lived experience with communication, education, and what it means to truly presume competence.
 
Jordyn didn't have access to robust AAC until she was 18 years old. In this conversation, she shares what she wishes the adults around her had understood, why communication access should never have prerequisites, and what educators, therapists, and families can do differently for the nonspeaking autistic children in their lives.
 
In this episode, we talk about:
Why a lack of speech is not a lack of language — and nonspeaking does not mean non-understanding

Why communication is a basic human right, not something a child has to earn

Why there should be no prerequisites for access to AAC

The differences between PECS, core boards, and robust language-based AAC

What an AAC-rich environment can look like

What it really means to presume competence in our everyday interactions

Why we shouldn't limit a child's vocabulary until they've "proven" they're ready for it

The importance of autonomy, choice, and agency in communication

Why communication needs to go far beyond requesting — our kids deserve to comment, ask questions, joke, disagree, tell stories, and show us who they are

Why wait time is such an important skill for communication partners

Jordyn's advocacy work and what she wants educators, therapists, and families supporting nonspeaking autistic children to know

Jordyn's perspective is such an important reminder as we head into AAC Awareness Month: communication is so much more than speech.
 
Every person deserves to be heard, respected, presumed competent, and given access to a reliable way to communicate.
 
Whether you heard this conversation when it originally aired or you're listening for the first time, I can't think of a better conversation to revisit as we begin a month dedicated to AAC awareness.
 
Related Resources & Links
Jordyn Zimmerman Website
Jordyn's documentary
Preschool Autism Summit + VIP Day (Jordyn returns for a deeper conversation)

When an autistic child is melting down, refusing, running away, or saying "no," what looks like challenging behavior may actually be a stress response or an important form of communication.
In this episode, Tara is revisiting the way we think about behavior in autistic preschoolers and asking us to look underneath what we can see on the outside.
Instead of starting with "How do I stop this behavior?" we can get curious about what the child's nervous system may be communicating. Are they overwhelmed? Is the environment unpredictable? Are they trying to tell us no? Do they have a communication system that allows them to advocate for what they need?
Because when we understand behavior as communication, our response changes too.
Is It Behavior or a Stress Response?
What adults call "behavior" may actually be an autistic child responding to stress, overwhelm, an unmet need, or an environment that feels difficult to navigate. Looking beyond the observable behavior helps us understand what the child may be communicating and what support they need.
The goal isn't to simply make the behavior disappear. It's to understand what is happening underneath it.
How Does Stress Affect Autistic Children?
Stress can have a significant impact on an autistic child's ability to regulate, communicate, participate, and learn. Sensory overload, unpredictable routines, communication barriers, demands, and environmental changes can all increase stress.
When that stress builds, we may see crying, yelling, running away, shutting down, pushing something away, or other responses adults sometimes label as challenging behavior.
Instead of viewing those responses in isolation, we can ask what happened before them and what the child may need from us now.
Is Behavior a Form of Communication?
Yes. Behavior can communicate needs, discomfort, overwhelm, fear, frustration, or a desire for something to stop.
For an autistic preschooler who may not yet have reliable access to spoken language or another communication system in a stressful moment, their actions may be one of the clearest ways they have to tell us something is wrong.
When we view behavior as communication, we become less focused on stopping it and more interested in understanding the message.
Why Is Protest Important for Autistic Children?
Protest is communication, and autistic children need safe, reliable ways to say no, stop, all done, or "I don't want this."
A child turning away, pushing something aside, moving away, saying no, or communicating distress may be telling us something important. Honoring protest helps children learn that their communication matters. Self-advocacy starts much earlier than adulthood. It begins when children learn that the people around them will listen when they communicate that something does not feel right.
What Is the Difference Between Compliance and Connection?
Compliance-focused approaches prioritize getting a child to follow an adult's direction. Connection-focused approaches prioritize understanding the child, identifying unmet needs, supporting communication, and creating an environment where the child feels safe enough to engage.
That does not mean children never experience expectations, boundaries, or difficult moments. It means our first question becomes "What does this child need?" rather than "How do I make this child comply?"
How Does Co-Regulation Help an Autistic Child?
Co-regulation happens when a supportive adult helps a child move through stress by offering calm, connection, predictability, and safety.
Young children are still developing their ability to regulate independently. During stressful moments, they may need us to reduce language, adjust the environment, acknowledge their communication, and stay present without adding more pressure.
Regulation develops within relationships. We don't have to demand that a child calm down before we offer support.
How Can We Support Autistic Children During Stress Responses?
Supporting stress responses begins with looking beyond the behavior and identifying what may be creating stress for the child.
That might mean making the environment more predictable, providing visual information, reducing sensory demands, honoring a child's protest, giving access to communication, or simply staying close and co-regulating through a difficult moment. The support should respond to the need underneath the behavior, not simply make the behavior stop.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
• Why behavior and stress are closely connected for autistic children
• How stressful environments can contribute to dysregulation
• Why behavior should be viewed as communication
• How unmet needs can show up through a child's actions
• Why protest is a valid and important form of communication
• How honoring "no" supports self-advocacy
• Why compliance-focused approaches can miss what a child is communicating
• How predictable routines can reduce stress and uncertainty
• Why co-regulation matters during difficult moments
• How communication tools can give autistic children more ways to advocate for themselves
Key Takeaways
• Behavior is communication
• Stress can significantly affect an autistic child's ability to participate and communicate
• A difficult behavior may be a sign that the environment or expectation needs to change
• Protest is valid communication
• Autistic children need ways to say no, stop, and all done
• Self-advocacy begins in early childhood
• Predictability can help reduce stress and anxiety
• Co-regulation supports children through overwhelming moments
• Communication tools give children more ways to express their needs
• Compassion-based support asks what the child needs before asking how to change their behavior
Try This
Think about one behavior you've found yourself trying to stop.
Maybe a child runs away during circle time.

Maybe they push materials away.

Maybe they cry during a transition, refuse an activity, or repeatedly say no.

Before deciding what strategy to use, ask a different set of questions.
What happened right before this?

What might be stressful about this moment?

Is there a sensory need?

Does the child understand what is happening?

Are they trying to tell me no, stop, or all done?

Do they have another reliable way to communicate that message?

And finally: what can I change about the environment or my response that might make this moment feel safer? Sometimes changing the question changes everything.
Related Resources & Links
💚 Honor Protest: Understand and Respond to Communication
💚 Visual Support Starter Set
💚 Calming Kit for Preschoolers
💚 Autism Little Learners Membership
💚 Research Articles Mentioned in This Episode
Final Thoughts
When we only look at behavior, we can miss the child underneath it. The crying, running, pushing away, shutting down, or saying no may be communicating something important about stress, safety, sensory needs, or overwhelm. Our job isn't simply to make those responses disappear. It's to get curious about what they mean.
Because when autistic children learn that their communication will be noticed, respected, and supported, we're doing more than helping them through one difficult moment. We're showing them that their voice matters.