The Autism Little Learners Podcast

What color is it? Where's the dog? Show me red. Tell me with your talker. If you support AAC users, you might be really good at quiz mode. I know I was.
As an SLP, I was trained to elicit responses. I wanted repetitions. I wanted data. I wanted to know: can they do it? And here's the tricky part: quiz mode feels like teaching. We're trying to help. But communication isn't supposed to feel like a test all day.
This is part 3 of our AAC Month series. Last week, in Episode 195, we talked about why children don't need to prove they're "ready" for AAC. When I asked where you get stuck, more than one in four of you said the same thing: what do I do when I model and the child does absolutely nothing?
That's what this episode is about.
I'm sharing what modeling without expectation really looks like, why silence doesn't necessarily mean nothing is happening, and what to do in that quiet moment instead of asking again. You'll also hear two clips from my friend Rachel Madel, SLP, whose phrase "inspire, don't require" sums up this whole conversation.
Because we're teaching language. We're not administering a test.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
What modeling without expectation looks like in everyday play, like a car going down a ramp

Why "quiz mode" feels like teaching but can make communication harder

What it's like to learn a new language while someone keeps asking, "What's this?"

Why silence doesn't necessarily mean nothing is happening

How heavy prompting can teach children to wait to be asked instead of starting communication themselves

Why prompting isn't "bad," and the question to ask about what yours is teaching

How to turn questions into comments

What to do when you model and the child still doesn't respond

Key Takeaways
Quiz mode feels like teaching, but it adds pressure. Questions and directives like "Show me red" and "Tell me with your talker" can turn communication into a test.

Modeling without expectation means modeling and moving on. The car goes down the ramp, you say and touch GO, and you keep playing. No "Your turn" or "Show me go."

Silence doesn't mean nothing is happening. A child may be processing what you said, managing sensory input, or finding a word on their device. Model, then pause, without filling the wait with more questions.

Heavy prompting can teach children to wait. Rachel Madel explains how a compliance-driven approach can teach kids to be responders instead of initiators.

Prompting isn't bad. It can be a helpful scaffold. The question is what it's teaching: dependence on the adult, or growing independence.

Questions can become comments. "Whoa... RED!" instead of "What color is it?" "Mmm... MORE" instead of "Do you want more?"

Follow what matters to the child. Rachel shares how she noticed her student had turned to his lunchbox and modeled OPEN instead of sticking to her plan.

Every model has value. If the child doesn't respond, that's okay. They still saw and heard language used by an adult who wasn't demanding anything back.

Try This
For ten minutes, listen to yourself and notice how many questions and directives you give.

Pick one and turn it into a comment, modeling the word as you say it.

After you model, pause. Give space, not a stare.

If the child is focused on something else, model a word for what they care about.

Choose one routine this week (play, snack, getting dressed, or circle time). Every time you're about to ask a child to show you something, ask yourself, "Could I model this instead?"

Resources & Links
AAC Month Series: This is part 3. Start with Episode 195: Stop Making Kids Prove They're "Ready" for AAC.

More from Rachel Madel: Listen to Episode 91: AAC & Modeling Without Expectation With Rachel Madel.

Too many questions? Episode 178: What If Too Many Questions Are Quieting Your AAC Learners? goes deeper.

Keep Learning: Read the companion blog post, Modeling AAC Without Expectation in the Classroom.

Free Guide: Get the 3 Simple AAC Shifts for three easy changes you can try in tomorrow's routines.

Next Week: We'll go beyond "I want": why AAC isn't a success just because a child can request Goldfish, and a family who celebrates when their daughter says NO.

As we continue AAC Awareness Month, I want to talk about an idea that kept far too many children from getting access to robust communication for far too long:
The idea that a child has to be "ready" for AAC.
Maybe they need to point first. Match pictures. Understand cause and effect. Show intentional communication. Sit and attend. Or start with something "simpler" before they can have access to a robust AAC system.
Many of us were actually trained to think this way. I was too.
But today we know something really important: there are no prerequisites for robust AAC. Access is the first step — not the reward.
In this episode, we'll talk about what it really means to give children access to AAC before expecting them to perform with it. We'll also look at some of the things that can make adults wonder whether AAC is "working" — like repeatedly pushing the same button, not responding after we model, or even pushing the device away — and what might happen when we replace judgment with curiosity.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why children do not have to prove they're "ready" for AAC

How outdated ideas about AAC readiness have influenced the way we support children

Why access needs to come before performance

What research tells us about using AAC as an early communication intervention

Why AAC does not prevent spoken language development

Why children who use some spoken words may still benefit from AAC

Why communication should be multimodal — including speech, gestures, signs, pictures, core boards, devices, typing, and more

What it might mean when a child repeatedly pushes buttons or explores their AAC device

Why AAC "babbling" can be an important part of learning

What we can consider when a child pushes their AAC away

Why honoring "no" and "not right now" is part of supporting autonomy and communication

How presuming competence changes the way we respond to unexpected communication

One simple way to remove a barrier to communication access this week

I also share a story about a three-year-old AAC user I worked with who surprised me one day by telling me, "This is boring." 😂
It was a powerful reminder that when a child communicates something we aren't expecting, our job isn't to immediately dismiss it as accidental. Sometimes we need to stop, stay curious, and believe them.
Because a child not knowing how to use something they haven't had meaningful opportunities to learn is not evidence that they're incapable of learning it.
Our kids shouldn't have to prove they're ready for communication.
Access is where learning begins.
Related Resources & Links
3 Ways To Make AAC Work In Busy Classrooms  (free guide)
Autism Little Learners AAC Resources
Donaldson, A. L., corbin, e., Zisk, A. H., & Eddy, B. (2023). Promotion of Communication Access, Choice, and Agency for Autistic Students. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 54(1), 140–155.

A quick heads up before you listen: Jordyn prepared some answers ahead of time and responded to others in real time, so you'll hear pauses between each question and Jordyn's answer. I challenge you to resist the urge to fast-forward through the wait time. Sitting with that silence is one of the most important skills of a good communication partner — in this episode, and in your classroom.
 
As we get ready to kick off AAC Awareness Month on October 1st, I'm bringing back one of my most meaningful conversations for this special encore episode.
 
I'm joined by Jordyn Zimmerman, an autistic woman who is non-speaking and a full-time AAC user. Jordyn shares her lived experience with communication, education, and what it means to truly presume competence.
 
Jordyn didn't have access to robust AAC until she was 18 years old. In this conversation, she shares what she wishes the adults around her had understood, why communication access should never have prerequisites, and what educators, therapists, and families can do differently for the nonspeaking autistic children in their lives.
 
In this episode, we talk about:
Why a lack of speech is not a lack of language — and nonspeaking does not mean non-understanding

Why communication is a basic human right, not something a child has to earn

Why there should be no prerequisites for access to AAC

The differences between PECS, core boards, and robust language-based AAC

What an AAC-rich environment can look like

What it really means to presume competence in our everyday interactions

Why we shouldn't limit a child's vocabulary until they've "proven" they're ready for it

The importance of autonomy, choice, and agency in communication

Why communication needs to go far beyond requesting — our kids deserve to comment, ask questions, joke, disagree, tell stories, and show us who they are

Why wait time is such an important skill for communication partners

Jordyn's advocacy work and what she wants educators, therapists, and families supporting nonspeaking autistic children to know

Jordyn's perspective is such an important reminder as we head into AAC Awareness Month: communication is so much more than speech.
 
Every person deserves to be heard, respected, presumed competent, and given access to a reliable way to communicate.
 
Whether you heard this conversation when it originally aired or you're listening for the first time, I can't think of a better conversation to revisit as we begin a month dedicated to AAC awareness.
 
Related Resources & Links
Jordyn Zimmerman Website
Jordyn's documentary
Preschool Autism Summit + VIP Day (Jordyn returns for a deeper conversation)

When an autistic child is melting down, refusing, running away, or saying "no," what looks like challenging behavior may actually be a stress response or an important form of communication.
In this episode, Tara is revisiting the way we think about behavior in autistic preschoolers and asking us to look underneath what we can see on the outside.
Instead of starting with "How do I stop this behavior?" we can get curious about what the child's nervous system may be communicating. Are they overwhelmed? Is the environment unpredictable? Are they trying to tell us no? Do they have a communication system that allows them to advocate for what they need?
Because when we understand behavior as communication, our response changes too.
Is It Behavior or a Stress Response?
What adults call "behavior" may actually be an autistic child responding to stress, overwhelm, an unmet need, or an environment that feels difficult to navigate. Looking beyond the observable behavior helps us understand what the child may be communicating and what support they need.
The goal isn't to simply make the behavior disappear. It's to understand what is happening underneath it.
How Does Stress Affect Autistic Children?
Stress can have a significant impact on an autistic child's ability to regulate, communicate, participate, and learn. Sensory overload, unpredictable routines, communication barriers, demands, and environmental changes can all increase stress.
When that stress builds, we may see crying, yelling, running away, shutting down, pushing something away, or other responses adults sometimes label as challenging behavior.
Instead of viewing those responses in isolation, we can ask what happened before them and what the child may need from us now.
Is Behavior a Form of Communication?
Yes. Behavior can communicate needs, discomfort, overwhelm, fear, frustration, or a desire for something to stop.
For an autistic preschooler who may not yet have reliable access to spoken language or another communication system in a stressful moment, their actions may be one of the clearest ways they have to tell us something is wrong.
When we view behavior as communication, we become less focused on stopping it and more interested in understanding the message.
Why Is Protest Important for Autistic Children?
Protest is communication, and autistic children need safe, reliable ways to say no, stop, all done, or "I don't want this."
A child turning away, pushing something aside, moving away, saying no, or communicating distress may be telling us something important. Honoring protest helps children learn that their communication matters. Self-advocacy starts much earlier than adulthood. It begins when children learn that the people around them will listen when they communicate that something does not feel right.
What Is the Difference Between Compliance and Connection?
Compliance-focused approaches prioritize getting a child to follow an adult's direction. Connection-focused approaches prioritize understanding the child, identifying unmet needs, supporting communication, and creating an environment where the child feels safe enough to engage.
That does not mean children never experience expectations, boundaries, or difficult moments. It means our first question becomes "What does this child need?" rather than "How do I make this child comply?"
How Does Co-Regulation Help an Autistic Child?
Co-regulation happens when a supportive adult helps a child move through stress by offering calm, connection, predictability, and safety.
Young children are still developing their ability to regulate independently. During stressful moments, they may need us to reduce language, adjust the environment, acknowledge their communication, and stay present without adding more pressure.
Regulation develops within relationships. We don't have to demand that a child calm down before we offer support.
How Can We Support Autistic Children During Stress Responses?
Supporting stress responses begins with looking beyond the behavior and identifying what may be creating stress for the child.
That might mean making the environment more predictable, providing visual information, reducing sensory demands, honoring a child's protest, giving access to communication, or simply staying close and co-regulating through a difficult moment. The support should respond to the need underneath the behavior, not simply make the behavior stop.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
• Why behavior and stress are closely connected for autistic children
• How stressful environments can contribute to dysregulation
• Why behavior should be viewed as communication
• How unmet needs can show up through a child's actions
• Why protest is a valid and important form of communication
• How honoring "no" supports self-advocacy
• Why compliance-focused approaches can miss what a child is communicating
• How predictable routines can reduce stress and uncertainty
• Why co-regulation matters during difficult moments
• How communication tools can give autistic children more ways to advocate for themselves
Key Takeaways
• Behavior is communication
• Stress can significantly affect an autistic child's ability to participate and communicate
• A difficult behavior may be a sign that the environment or expectation needs to change
• Protest is valid communication
• Autistic children need ways to say no, stop, and all done
• Self-advocacy begins in early childhood
• Predictability can help reduce stress and anxiety
• Co-regulation supports children through overwhelming moments
• Communication tools give children more ways to express their needs
• Compassion-based support asks what the child needs before asking how to change their behavior
Try This
Think about one behavior you've found yourself trying to stop.
Maybe a child runs away during circle time.

Maybe they push materials away.

Maybe they cry during a transition, refuse an activity, or repeatedly say no.

Before deciding what strategy to use, ask a different set of questions.
What happened right before this?

What might be stressful about this moment?

Is there a sensory need?

Does the child understand what is happening?

Are they trying to tell me no, stop, or all done?

Do they have another reliable way to communicate that message?

And finally: what can I change about the environment or my response that might make this moment feel safer? Sometimes changing the question changes everything.
Related Resources & Links
💚 Honor Protest: Understand and Respond to Communication
💚 Visual Support Starter Set
💚 Calming Kit for Preschoolers
💚 Autism Little Learners Membership
💚 Research Articles Mentioned in This Episode
Final Thoughts
When we only look at behavior, we can miss the child underneath it. The crying, running, pushing away, shutting down, or saying no may be communicating something important about stress, safety, sensory needs, or overwhelm. Our job isn't simply to make those responses disappear. It's to get curious about what they mean.
Because when autistic children learn that their communication will be noticed, respected, and supported, we're doing more than helping them through one difficult moment. We're showing them that their voice matters.

Transitions are often the first part of the preschool day to fall apart for autistic children, especially when routines change, activities end, or expectations shift quickly.
Every. Single. Year.
In this episode, Tara is talking less about transition tricks and more about why transitions are genuinely so hard for many autistic preschoolers.
A transition can involve much more than moving from one activity to another. A child may need to shift their attention, leave a deeply engaging activity, process new sensory input, understand what is happening next, and regulate the emotions that come with an unexpected or unwanted change.
Because once we understand the why, the strategies finally have a better chance of sticking.
Why Are Transitions So Hard for Autistic Children?
Transitions can be difficult for autistic children because they often require several demanding shifts at the same time. A child may need to stop an activity, redirect their attention, enter a different sensory environment, process new language, and manage uncertainty about what is coming next.
What looks like refusal or noncompliance may actually reflect overwhelm, difficulty shifting attention, sensory stress, or a need for more time and information.
How Does Predictability Affect Transitions?
Predictability helps an autistic child understand what is happening now and what will happen next. When a routine changes unexpectedly or a child does not have enough information about what is coming, that uncertainty can make the transition much harder.
Consistent routines, visual information, and advance notice can make the day feel more understandable and manageable.
This does not mean every part of the day has to happen exactly the same way. It means we give children clear information when something is about to change.
Can Sensory Changes Make Transitions More Difficult?
Yes. A transition often involves much more than physically moving from one activity or location to another.
A child may be moving from a quiet space into a noisy classroom, from dim lighting into bright lighting, or from a familiar activity into an environment filled with different sounds, smells, people, and movement.
Even when the next activity looks simple to an adult, the sensory shift may feel significant to the child.
Looking at what changes between the two environments can help us understand why a specific transition is difficult.
What Does Executive Functioning Have to Do With Transitions?
Executive functioning helps us shift attention, organize our next steps, remember what we are supposed to do, and move from one task to another.
These mental shifts can require significant effort for autistic preschoolers.
A child may understand that circle time is over but still need extra time to disengage, process the next direction, organize their body, and move toward the next activity.
Instead of assuming the child is refusing to transition, consider how many separate steps their brain is being asked to manage all at once.
What Is Monotropism?
Monotropism is a way of understanding the deep, focused attention many autistic people experience. An autistic child may become intensely engaged in one interest, activity, or sensory experience at a time.
That deep attention can support learning, creativity, regulation, and connection. It can also make abruptly shifting away from an activity especially difficult.
When a child is deeply engaged, leaving that activity may not feel like a simple request to clean up. The child may need time, information, and support to shift their attention.
Respecting that deep engagement does not mean transitions never happen. It means we recognize that the transition may require more effort than it appears to from the outside.
How Can We Make Transitions Easier for Autistic Preschoolers?
Making transitions easier begins with understanding what is making the transition hard for that particular child. Once we understand the underlying need, we can choose a support that gives the child more predictability, processing time, and access.
A visual schedule may help a child who does not know what is coming next.

A predictable warning may help a child who needs more time to shift their attention.

A video model may help a child understand an unfamiliar routine.

Sensory support may help when the next environment feels overwhelming.

There is not one transition strategy that works for every autistic child. The most effective support is the one that matches the reason the transition is difficult.
Transition Supports Mentioned in This Episode
• Use a visual schedule so the child can see what is happening now and what will happen next
• Give clear, predictable warnings before an activity ends
• Use consistent words or visual cues during familiar transitions
• Allow additional processing time before repeating a direction
• Validate that stopping a preferred or deeply engaging activity can be difficult
• Consider the sensory differences between the current activity and the next one
• Use video modeling to preview unfamiliar routines or environments
• Create predictable transition routines that children can learn over time
• Reduce unnecessary verbal language during stressful moments
• Watch for early signs of overwhelm instead of waiting for the transition to fall apart
In This Episode, You'll Learn
• Why transitions can create genuine stress for autistic preschoolers
• How routine and predictability support smoother transitions
• Why sensory changes can make a seemingly simple transition overwhelming
• How executive functioning affects a child's ability to stop, shift, and begin something new
• What monotropism can teach us about deep attention and engagement
• Why difficult transitions should not automatically be labeled as noncompliance
• How visual schedules can make upcoming changes easier to understand
• Why processing time matters when a child is shifting their attention
• How validation and empathy support children during difficult transitions
• Why understanding the cause should come before choosing a strategy
Key Takeaways
• Difficult transitions are not automatically refusal or noncompliance
• Transitions may involve changes in attention, sensory input, language, environment, and expectations
• Predictability can reduce uncertainty and anxiety
• Sensory differences are an important part of the transition experience
• Deep engagement is meaningful and should be respected
• Autistic children may need more time to shift their attention
• Visual information can make transitions more concrete and understandable
• Validation belongs alongside practical transition supports
• Strategies are more effective when they respond to the actual reason the transition is hard
• Support should make transitions more accessible, not simply make children move faster
Try This
Choose one transition that tends to fall apart first. Before adding another timer, song, reward, or verbal reminder, pause and look at the transition from the child's perspective.
What are they being asked to stop?

What sensory changes happen next?

Do they know where they are going and what will happen when they get there?

Are they deeply engaged in the activity they are leaving?

How much time are they being given to shift their attention?

How much spoken language are they being asked to process during the transition?

Once you understand what may be making the transition genuinely difficult, choose one support that responds to that need.
Maybe it is a visual schedule.

Maybe it is a predictable warning.

Maybe it is a short video showing what will happen.

Maybe it is changing the way the next environment feels.

Or maybe the biggest shift is simply giving the child more time.

The most effective transition strategy is not always the newest trick. It is the one that matches the reason the transition is hard.
Related Resources & Links
💚 Portable Visual Schedules
💚 Video Modeling Guide
💚 Video Modeling Blog Post
💚 Related Podcast Episode 15
💚 More Information About Monotropism
💚 Autism Little Learners Membership
Final Thoughts
Transitions can look simple from the outside, but there may be a lot happening underneath them.
A child may be leaving something deeply meaningful, entering a difficult sensory environment, trying to understand an unexpected change, and organizing their body for a new expectation—all at the same time.
When we understand the role of predictability, sensory processing, executive functioning, and deep engagement, we can stop seeing a difficult transition as something a child is doing to us.
Instead, we can ask what would make that moment easier for them. We are not trying to make autistic children better at tolerating confusing and unpredictable environments. We are working to make those environments more understandable, supportive, and accessible.