Silent Strength with Invisible Warriors

Episode overview
In this episode, Deborah Mallow, a motivational speaker and “ray of sunshine,” shares practical ways to choose happiness, interrupt negative thinking, and bring more light into everyday life. A central theme is the power of simple tools—like a gratitude jar—to retrain the brain to notice what is going right instead of what is wrong.​

About Deborah Mallow

Deborah is a positive energy and success coach who helps people shift out of self-sabotage and chronic negativity.​

She is the author of “6 Steps to Fewer Days That Suck,” where she offers stories, strategies, and science-backed tips for cultivating a more uplifting mindset.​

Key topics discussed

Negativity bias and the brain: How the brain’s ancient focus on problems and danger creates more “bad days” than necessary, and what it takes to interrupt that pattern.​

Being personally considerate: Treating yourself with the same kindness you offer others and replacing harsh self-talk with more supportive thoughts.​

Small daily practices: Simple habits—like dancing to a favorite song or using a “make me smile” box—that help your nervous system shift toward calm, joy, and resilience.​

The gratitude jar practice

Deborah explains the gratitude jar: writing one good thing each day on a slip of paper and dropping it into a jar to create a visible record of what’s going well.​

On tough days, pulling out a few slips offers concrete reminders that life holds many moments of joy, connection, and progress, even when current circumstances feel heavy.​

Practical takeaways

Start with one small shift: notice when your mind spirals into worst-case scenarios and gently ask, “What would I rather be thinking right now?”​

Create your own happiness tools: a gratitude jar, a smile box, or a short list of “go-to” feel-good activities to use when your mood dips.​

Remember that you have more control over your daily happiness than you think; your choices and focus can steadily lead to fewer days that “suck.”​

Key Takeaways

Self-compassion and perspective-taking are crucial for managing mental health challenges

Breathing techniques (especially extended exhales) can help regulate anxiety and stress

Small, gradual steps and support systems are key for overcoming avoidance behaviors

Acknowledging issues, seeking help, and celebrating small victories are important for progress

Topics
Podcast Introduction and Guest Welcome

Nancy Becher introduces "Silent Strength" podcast, focused on women veterans with PTS/military trauma

Podcast aims to share stories, provide expert insights, and create a supportive community

Renee Zukin welcomed as guest to share her personal journey and insights

Renee's Background and Book

Renee wrote "Every Day I'm Brave" about transforming her relationship with fear

Book includes journal prompts to help readers process their experiences

Renee has multiple diagnoses (anxiety, depression, OCD, panic disorder, agoraphobia) but doesn't let them define her

Challenges of Self-Compassion and Perspective

Nancy shares personal struggle with depression and self-judgment

Renee emphasizes importance of self-compassion and avoiding shame spirals

Discussion on reframing negative self-talk and gaining broader perspective on situations

Coping Strategies and Techniques

Breathing technique: Focus on extended exhales to slow heart rate (inhale for 4, exhale for 5-7 counts)

Writing/journaling to gain outside perspective on thoughts and feelings

Gradual exposure therapy for facing fears (e.g., small steps for leaving the house)

Distraction techniques (e.g., playing phone games during stressful car rides)

Importance of Acknowledgment and Support

Difficulty in getting women to acknowledge invisible illnesses and seek help

Veterans more open to seeking support through Invisible Warriors organization

Value of creating safe spaces for women to connect and share experiences

Three Key Pieces of Advice

Practice self-kindness and allow feelings without judgment

Seek support (therapist, friends, podcasts, books) from understanding sources

Remember your inherent bravery and resilience

Added by Nancy: Celebrate even small steps of progress

Next Steps

Listeners encouraged to leave reviews/ratings for the podcast on iTunes

Follow Invisible Warriors on LinkedIn and YouTube for updates

Upcoming wilderness retreat in late September focusing on mental health topics

Interested participants should contact Nancy for sign-up information

If you are dealing with trauma and want a way to lessen or rid yourself of the challenges, head over to ebt.org and see what it can do for you.

Trauma is difficult to acknowledge, difficult to handle and hard to eliminate from your life. Amanda Lee, an author and survivor of her own trauma, talks about how she has dealt with it and what she does to make it go away!

Tia shares her experiences as a young woman in the military, highlighting the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault. She recounts her own traumatic experience of being sexually assaulted by a superior and the reprimand she received for reporting it. Tia expresses concern for the wellbeing of female soldiers, noting that many face similar experiences. She also discusses her struggle with PTS and its impact on her life, which eventually leads her to seek help from the VA. Tia emphasizes the need for better support and resources for veterans dealing with trauma and PTS.

Tia discusses her journey with mental health services, including being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and experiencing suicidal thoughts. She expresses frustration with the lack of support from previous healthcare providers. However, after a session with 22Zero, a mental health organization, she experiences a significant improvement. Tia feels exhausted after the session, leading to better sleep and fewer nightmares. Her self-esteem and overall well-being improve, and she becomes an advocate for 22Zero, believing it saved her life.