The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. 

Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out.

They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day.

Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.

For more on this topic 

Listen: Sorry, I Missed This: When ADHD turns chores into conflict

Watch: ADHD expert answers 8 top questions on romantic relationships

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Boredom isn’t just annoying for ADHD brains. It can feel unbearable, even painful. Dr. J breaks down the real science behind why: dopamine sensitivity, warped time perception, and an overactive default mode network. 

Learn why boredom fuels doomscrolling, impulsive spending, avoidance spirals, and relationship friction. Then get four practical strategies to work with your brain instead of against it, from micro-rewards to environmental design to building genuine boredom tolerance.

For more on this topic 

Watch: ADHD and dating: Why the spark burns bright (then fades fast)

Read: ADHD and boredom

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? 

Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore. 

They talk about why impulsivity in ADHD adults rarely looks like the textbook version (hi, compulsive shopping and 3 a.m. tattoo urges). How shame and anxiety make executive function worse. And why learning to work with your brain’s patterns beats white-knuckling your way through every temptation. Plus why some ADHDers end up over-controlled — which comes with its own set of problems. 

If you’ve ever told yourself you’re just lazy, bad at relationships, or fundamentally broken because you can’t seem to get it together, this one’s for you. 

For more on this topic

Listen: ADHD and impulsive spending

Watch: ADHD break-ups: Impulsive texts and overthinking regrets

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Family vacations are supposed to be fun. So why do they feel like a project you can’t stop managing?

If you have ADHD, travel is basically a multi-day test of your executive functions. Between planning paralysis, sensory overload, sleep disruptions, and lack of routine, vacations can leave you feeling more stressed than refreshed. And the strain can be even worse for women, who tend to carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load for a family.

In preparation for your Independence Day travels, Dr. J breaks down exactly why trips are so draining for ADHD brains. And she shares five practical strategies to help you actually relax on your next vacation. Happy July 4th!

For more on this topic 

Watch: ADHD and perfectionism

Listen: Breaking the burnout cycle: What is rest?

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If your ADHD symptoms have spiked out of nowhere, perimenopause might be the culprit. Estrogen plays a direct role in dopamine regulation. When it fluctuates, your focus, memory, and emotional regulation take the hit. 

This episode breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain, why the strategies that used to work may be failing you now, and how to adjust your support system for this stage of life.

For more on this topic

Listen: ADHD and: Menopause

Watch: ADHD and hormones

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.