The NICU Space by Miracle Moon

Having a baby in the NICU can be an incredibly frightening experience, and for some parents, the emotional impact continues long after they leave the hospital. In this episode, I speak to Dr. Sophie Tolmie, a psychologist and NICU parent, about her experience of having her son Luca born just before 31 weeks and spending seven weeks in neonatal care.
Sophie shares her very honest experience of developing postnatal OCD following her NICU experience, including intrusive thoughts, contamination fears, compulsive hand washing, checking and the overwhelming fear that she could somehow harm her baby. She also talks about the role of trauma, therapy, EMDR, medication and gradual exposure in her recovery, as well as what she wants other parents experiencing OCD to know.

In this episode, we talk about:

How postnatal OCD developed after NICU, including intrusive thoughts, contamination fears, checking and compulsions
The connection between NICU trauma, anxiety and OCD, and why the context behind someone’s OCD symptoms matters
Sophie’s experience of therapy, EMDR, medication and gradually reducing compulsions and safety behaviours
How to recognise possible postnatal OCD, why intrusive thoughts do not mean you will act on them, and how reaching out for the right support can help

Sophie also talks about how difficult it can be to challenge OCD when the fear feels completely real, and how focusing on her values, including wanting to bond with Luca and live her life as a mum, helped her take gradual steps forward.

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠
An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Stay connected
Instagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠
Website: ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

Baby loss can change everything. In this episode, Lucy Livesey, founder of Ellie’s Gift, shares the story of losing her baby daughter Ellie following a 20-week scan, and the experience of navigating grief, pregnancy after loss and life as a parent to both a baby who died and her living children.
Lucy also talks openly about her experience of termination for medical reasons (TFMR), the gaps she found in support for families experiencing baby loss, and how she turned her own experience into something that could help others. This led her to create Ellie’s Gift, an app and support resource designed to help people navigate grief and life after baby loss.

In this episode we cover:

Lucy’s experience of baby loss and giving birth to her daughter Ellie
What termination for medical reasons (TFMR) can look like and why more support is needed
Navigating grief while parenting living children and continuing to remember the baby who died
Pregnancy after loss, and the complicated emotions that can come with it
Ellie’s Gift, the app Lucy created to support families through baby loss, grief and beyond

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space⁠
An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Ellie’s Gift
A completely free app created by Lucy to support families through the birth of a baby who has died. It includes videos, audio tracks, PDFs, journaling tools and signposting to other resources. The app now includes a dedicated TFMR section developed with input from parents who have experienced termination for medical reasons.

Ellie’s Rainbow Support
Support created from Lucy’s own experience of pregnancy after loss, including audio tracks, anxiety support and a digital toolkit designed to help parents manage anxiety during subsequent pregnancies.

Stay connected
Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠
Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Lucy Livesey
Facebook: elliesgiftapp
Instagram: @elliesgiftproject

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I'm joined by neonatal clinical psychologist Rebecca Chilvers, who shares her expertise on the psychological impact of neonatal care and why a NICU stay can affect parents long after they've left the hospital. We explore the many emotional experiences that can arise during neonatal care, from trauma and grief to guilt, anxiety and feeling disconnected from yourself.

We also discuss why every parent's NICU journey is unique, how difficult emotions like survivor's guilt and witnessing other families' experiences can shape recovery, and the importance of recognising that these responses are normal. Rebecca also shares insights from her new book, designed to help parents navigate the emotional challenges of neonatal care with practical tools, exercises and real-life stories.

In this episode, we talk about:
The psychological impact of NICU and why neonatal care can be traumatic
Grief, guilt, survivor's guilt and witnessing trauma on the neonatal unit
How NICU can affect relationships, identity and mental health
Practical ways to process difficult emotions during and after neonatal care
Rebecca’s new book and the support available for NICU parents

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:
The NICU Space⁠
An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Not Alone in NICU- Rebecca's Book
A reassuring guide for parents navigating the emotional intensity of neonatal care, packed with expert psychological insights, practical coping tools, and honest stories from NICU families. Designed to help you process your experience and feel less alone at every step of the journey.

Maternity and Neonatal Voices Partnerships (MNVPs)
A network that gives parents the opportunity to work alongside NHS maternity and neonatal services to improve care through lived experience.

Parent Advisory Groups (PAGs)
Regional parent groups that help shape neonatal services, policies and family-centred care across NHS neonatal networks.

Stay connected
Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠
Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Rebecca Chilvers
LinkedIn: Rebecca Chilvers

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Annemarie Lodder from Imperial College London and three young adults who were born premature and spent time in neonatal care: Anais, Nicholas and Stella. Together, we explore what it is really like to grow up after premature birth and what young people wish their parents, healthcare professionals and the wider public understood about their experiences.

We talk about the long-term impact of premature birth, including physical health, mental health, neurodiversity, relationships, identity and feeling different from your peers. We also explore how parents' experiences of NICU can shape the way they parent, why ongoing support and research beyond early childhood are so important, and the power of hearing directly from young people about what it means to grow up after neonatal care.

In this episode, we talk about:
The long-term impact of premature birth and growing up after NICU
What young people born premature wish their parents and healthcare professionals understood
How prematurity can affect mental health, physical health, relationships and identity
The impact of a child's NICU experience on parenting, including overprotectiveness and anxiety
Why ongoing research, support and the voices of people born premature matter

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:
⁠The NICU Space
An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Stay connected
Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠
Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Jessica Lowther-Payne, a non-birthing mum in a two-mum family, to talk honestly about her experience of becoming a parent after a challenging IVF journey and unexpectedly finding herself in neonatal care. Jess shares the compound impact of IVF, grief and trauma followed by an intense NICU and PICU experience, and how this affected her mental health, identity and confidence as a parent.
We also explore the unique challenges non-birthing parents and LGBTQ+ families can face in neonatal care, from feeling invisible or excluded to struggling to access appropriate perinatal mental health support. Jess shares what she has learnt about bonding and trauma since leaving NICU, as well as the work she is now doing to advocate for more inclusive and compassionate support for all families.

In this episode, we talk about:
The compound emotional impact of IVF, trauma and an unexpected NICU experience
Jess’s experience of neonatal care as a non-birthing mum in a two-mum family
How NICU affected her identity, confidence, bonding and mental health after discharge
The barriers non-birthing parents can face when trying to access perinatal mental health support
How neonatal services can better support and include LGBTQ+ parents and families

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space
An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

LGBT Mummies
Free resources and guidance for professionals supporting LGBTQ+ families, including information around inclusive communication and language.

Maternity and Neonatal Voices Partnerships (MNVPs)
Local partnerships that give families the opportunity to share their experiences and help shape maternity and neonatal services.

Parent Advisory Groups (PAGs)
Groups that give parents and families the opportunity to use their lived experience to help improve neonatal services and care.

Stay connected
Instagram: @miraclemoonuk
Website: miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Jessica Lowther-Payne
LinkedIn

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️