Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Why can’t kids just calm down? Here’s the truth: they’re not supposed to. Expecting children to manage their emotions alone is like expecting them to drive a car before they’ve learned to walk. In this episode, Justin and Kylie bust the biggest parenting myth about big feelings — and share 3 powerful, science-backed strategies you can use in the heat of the moment to help your child ride the emotional waves.
KEY POINTS
Kids’ brains are on “L-plates” when it comes to emotion regulation — it’s a developmental process.
Big feelings are normal, not a sign of “bad behaviour.”
Three strategies parents can use:
Distraction – helps reset the nervous system.
Co-regulation – lending your calm to your child.
Pause problem-solving – wait until emotions settle before teaching or fixing.
Parents often feel judged when meltdowns happen in public — but compassion (for ourselves and our kids) is the game-changer.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“No one can think clearly in a fire drill — and that’s exactly what trying to reason with a child mid-meltdown is like.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Happy Families resources for parenting strategies & support
Little People, Big Feelings Summit
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Nine hours a day. That’s how long Aussie teens are spending on recreational screens. But what does this mean for their development—and should parents panic? In this confronting but practical conversation, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by Dr Brad Marshall, clinical psychologist and researcher, to unpack Australia’s biggest study to date on screen overuse and gaming disorder in kids. Together, they explore what the data shows, what it means for families, and what you should (and shouldn’t!) do if screen use has taken over your home.
KEY POINTS
New research shows 9 hours/day of screen time for high schoolers and 6 for primary kids—just for fun, not school.
Around 5% of kids show signs of clinical or subclinical gaming disorder. 10% show signs of smartphone addiction.
Significant developmental impacts were found across emotional, behavioural, educational, and physical domains.
These issues start in primary school, not just during adolescence.
It's not about banning screens but about helping parents set and enforce realistic, healthy limits.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"If your child is in a sleep deficit because they’re on screens at night, that snowballs into everything else." – Dr Brad Marshall
RESOURCES MENTIONED
The new Macquarie University study on screen overuse
Brad’s Developmental Impact Questionnaire
Happy Families podcast archive
Brad Marshall’s organisation: Control Shift
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Don’t attack the tech. Avoid saying things like “that game is rotting your brain.” It shuts down connection.
Don’t allow screens in bedrooms at night. Sleep loss is a key trigger for wider issues.
Don’t argue in the heat of the moment. Have the “screen talk” when everyone’s calm.
Get curious about impacts. Use tools like the Developmental Impact Questionnaire to understand your child’s experience.
Pick your battles. Focus on habits and boundaries, not just hours.
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When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all.
Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time."
Key Insights:
Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time
School belonging needs two key relationships
Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial
Adult friendships can be valuable for children
Structured activities help build new friendships
Medical and psychological checks may be needed
School relationships often need parental facilitation
Quality family time remains foundational
Resources Mentioned:
Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas
School belonging research
Happy Families
Action Steps for Parents:
Facilitate Intentional Friend Time
Organise structured activities
Create regular playdates
Use third spaces effectively
Work with Schools
Identify potential friend matches
Build teacher relationships
Focus on school belonging
Consider Broader Solutions
Explore adult mentoring
Check medical factors
Strengthen family connections
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours - it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words - "let them" - to reclaim your power and energy.
When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control.
Quote of the Episode:
"The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins
Key Points:
The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response).
When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy.
"Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat—it means acknowledging you can't control others.
Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods.
Hacking your stress response by saying "let them" and taking a breath interrupts your reactivity.
Trying to please everyone typically results in pleasing no one and exhausting yourself.
The method works for handling difficult colleagues, judgmental family members, and stressful situations.
This approach is primarily for adult relationships, not parenting young children who need guidance.
Setting boundaries is still important—"let them" doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.
People-pleasing often leaves you feeling empty and unappreciated despite your best efforts.
Resources Mentioned:
"The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller)
Mel Robbins Podcast
Happy Families website
Action Steps for Parents:
Next time someone upsets you, say "let them" silently to yourself, then take a deep breath
Follow with "let me" and choose a response that serves your wellbeing
Identify one relationship where you're trying too hard to please someone and practice letting go
Accept that someone will always be disappointed by your decisions—and that's okay
Remember that while you can "let them" with adults, parenting requires appropriate guidance and boundaries with children
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A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.
In this episode:
What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending
The three big claims FAFO parents make
Why FAFO backfires
The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships
How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required)
Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards
More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.
When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.
Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.