Critical Arcade

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick leave behind explosions, loot drops, and skill trees for something far stranger and far more introspective as they step onto the lonely shores of Dear Esther. Guided only by the sound of crashing waves and the voice of an unreliable narrator, they journey across a bleak and beautiful Hebridean island while uncovering fragments of letters written to a woman named Esther. What begins as a simple walk soon spirals into a deeply atmospheric mystery involving grief, guilt, loss, drunkenness, and possibly something supernatural lurking beneath the island itself.

As they traverse abandoned cottages, dark sea caves, and the remains of a wrecked ship, Dave and Nick attempt to piece together a story that refuses to give easy answers. Every landmark, strange chemical diagram, and half-whispered monologue seems to hint at hidden meaning, leaving the two desperately trying to determine what is real and what exists only in the narrator’s fractured mind. Is this a ghost story? A meditation on mourning? Or just the world’s saddest hiking simulator?

Along the way, Nick struggles to stop overanalysing every rock pile like it belongs in an English literature exam, while Dave slowly loses his patience trying to figure out whether the game is profound genius or deliberately messing with him. Can the pair survive a game where the greatest enemy is symbolism itself? And how many times will Nick dramatically whisper “I think the island represents death” before Dave threatens to mute his microphone?
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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick slam the accelerator to the floor and dive headfirst into the loud, chaotic, and gloriously unhinged world of Crazy Taxi. Trading in safe driving practices for near-death shortcuts, they hit the streets of West Coast City as a group of wildly reckless taxi drivers determined to earn the biggest fares possible by any means necessary. Whether it’s launching their cab off parking garages, drifting through packed intersections, or somehow treating public staircases as legitimate roads, every second becomes a battle against the clock, traffic, and basic human survival instincts.

Along the way, Dave and Nick ferry a cast of increasingly demanding passengers across the city, all while the iconic punk soundtrack screams in the background and pedestrians dive for cover. From discovering absurd hidden shortcuts to accidentally sending their cab airborne for far longer than physics should allow, the mayhem only escalates as they chase bigger tips and higher scores. Can Dave resist the urge to obey actual traffic laws for more than thirty seconds? Will Nick spend the entire episode trying to recreate stunts that clearly were never intended by the developers? And most importantly, how many innocent lamp posts will survive their journey through one of arcade gaming’s most chaotic cities?
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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick sharpen their blades and prepare for a brutal journey through the streets of America in Ninja Gaiden. They step into the role of legendary ninja Ryu Hayabusa after returning home to discover his father has been killed in a mysterious duel with a man named Jaquio. Following clues left behind by his father, Ryu journeys to America where he becomes entangled with the CIA, a shadowy criminal organization, and a plot involving two ancient demon statues said to hold unimaginable power. Along the way, he battles armed soldiers, mutant creatures, and an army of relentless birds that may be the game’s true final boss.

As Ryu races to stop Jaquio from resurrecting an ancient evil, Dave and Nick will relive one of the NES era’s most notoriously difficult action games—complete with cinematic cutscenes that were way ahead of their time. Will Nick keep his cool when enemies respawn every two seconds? And how long before Dave starts a personal vendetta against those dive-bombing birds?
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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick are launched into the haunting sci-fi world of Saros, where they awaken on the lost colony world of Carcosa—a planet trapped beneath a permanent eclipse and crawling with horrors that seem determined to make their stay as unpleasant as possible. Taking on the role of Arjun Devraj, a powerful Soltari Enforcer searching for answers about a vanished colony and a mysterious figure tied to his past, they’ll fight their way through shifting landscapes, crumbling alien ruins, and relentless waves of terrifying creatures that only get deadlier the deeper they go.
But survival won’t come easy. In true roguelike fashion, every death resets their journey while permanently altering the world around them, unlocking new abilities, weapons, and upgrades that may—or may not—help them survive the next run. As the mystery of Carcosa begins to unravel, Dave and Nick will need quick reflexes, smart builds, and far more patience than either of them usually possesses. Will Nick become hopelessly addicted to creating the perfect build? Will Dave spend half the episode blaming the controls for his repeated deaths? And just how long will it take both of them to realise that running directly at giant alien monsters is rarely a winning strategy?
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This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave go bananas as they charge headfirst into the explosive, jazz-fuelled madness of Ape Out. Locked away in captivity, they take control of a powerful gorilla determined to smash through cages, corridors, laboratories, and anyone foolish enough to stand in the way of freedom. Every level becomes a desperate breakout as guards swarm in with guns, traps close in from every angle, and the soundtrack erupts into chaotic drums that react to every shove, slam, and body sent crashing through windows.

With its bold comic-book visuals and relentless pace, Ape Out turns every escape attempt into a violent rhythm of panic and destruction. Nick and Dave must use momentum, timing, and pure brute force to survive wave after wave of increasingly armed enemies while searching for the next route to freedom. Can Dave stay calm when bullets start flying from every direction? Will Nick spend the whole episode praising the soundtrack instead of actually playing? And just how many guards can one angry ape launch through a door before someone calls security?
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