Episode 14: Estrangement Isn’t Betrayal – It’s Boundaries and Healing
Have you ever felt torn between your wellbeing and loyalty to your family? Or struggled with the decision to choose peace over obligation?You’re not alone—and you’re not wrong for wanting safety, healing, and boundaries.This short but impactful episode covers the complexities of adult-child/parent estrangement—a topic that’s more common than most people realise, yet rarely talked about without shame, judgment, or guilt.Whether you’ve created distance from a parent, are navigating complicated family dynamics, or are a parent trying to understand your adult child’s need for space—this conversation will meet you with compassion, insight, and validation.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why adult children rarely walk away from parents without reason.How emotional safety, respect, and trust matter more than titles.The deep grief, healing, and courage behind estrangement.Why “family is everything” can be a harmful myth.The difference between accountability and control in repair.How healing doesn’t always mean reconciliation.What parents can do if they want to truly reconnect.Key Takeaways & Reflections:✔ A Title Isn’t Enough: Parenting is more than biology or authority—it’s about showing up with presence, safety, and emotional accountability.✔ Not Everyone Grew Up Safe: Many adult children are doing the inner work their parents never did—healing patterns, re-parenting themselves, and protecting their peace.✔ Family Loyalty vs. Self-Betrayal: Being told to “stay loyal no matter what” can be a form of self-abandonment.✔ Repair Requires Ownership: True reconciliation only happens when parents take responsibility without defensiveness or guilt-tripping.✔ Healing Isn’t Always Loud: Sometimes healing means grieving, letting go, and creating distance without explanation. That’s valid too.✔ For the Parents Listening: If your child has created space, this episode offers a compassionate mirror—not to blame, but to invite reflection and repair, if you’re willing.You’re allowed to choose boundaries over history and healing over keeping the peace. Even when it’s family.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 13 – As You Grow, You’ll Outgrow People
As you grow, shift, and evolve, you may start to feel like you no longer fit in the same spaces or relationships you once did. It can be confusing and even painful—but it’s also completely normal. In this episode, I’m exploring what it means to outgrow people, why it happens, and how to navigate the discomfort that often comes with it.Whether you’re noticing distance in friendships, feeling misaligned in your environment, or questioning long-term connections—this is a reminder that your growth is valid, even when it changes your relationships.This isn’t about superiority. It’s about alignment.It’s about honouring who you’re becoming—even when that means letting go.We’ll explore:Why personal growth naturally shifts your relationshipsThe grief that can come with outgrowing peopleHow to let go with gratitude, not guiltReal-life signs a relationship may no longer alignBoundaries, redirection, and choosing your peaceWhy it’s safe to evolve—and let others fall awayThis episode is for you if:You feel guilty for growing apart from peopleYour healing journey has changed what you valueYou’re craving deeper, more aligned connectionsYou’ve been told “you’ve changed” and felt unsure how to respondYou’re under no obligation to stay the same. You are allowed to grow, expand, and choose relationships that support who you are now—not just who you’ve always been.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 12: Turning Pain into Purpose: A Mother’s Mission After Loss
In this tender and powerful conversation, Belinda sits down with Rebecca Van Damme—mother, advocate, and heart-led changemaker—for a deeply moving exploration of grief, healing, and the transformation that can emerge from unimaginable loss.Rebecca opens up about the tragic passing of her 5-year-old son, Liam, in a boating accident—a moment that forever altered the course of her life. Together, Belinda and Rebecca reflect on the moments leading up to Liam’s passing, including the unexpected silver lining of her partner Josh losing a major client—an event that gifted them precious time as a family.This episode traces Rebecca’s journey through the raw, early stages of grief, the tools and perspectives that supported her healing—including Belinda’s retreat and the profound Two Circle Method—and how she and her family continue to honour Liam’s life through celebration, legacy, and purpose.From Liam’s Ledge to Liam’s Pledge to launching a National Safe Boating Kids Campaign, Rebecca’s story is one of fierce love, vulnerability, and courage. She shares her “three values she lives by,” the powerful Jar Analogy that keeps her grounded, and the gentle words she turns to in life’s hardest moments.This episode touches on:Turning personal tragedy into meaningful advocacyThe sacred pause before loss: noticing silver liningsBelinda’s retreat, the Two Circle Method, and their ripple effectsCreating rituals to celebrate a loved oneFinding clarity in your core valuesThe journey from pain to purposeWhat to say to yourself when you feel like you can’t go onHope, healing, and the path forwardConnect with Bec’s mission for Liam at:https://www.instagram.com/liamspledge/Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 11: From High School Sweethearts to Who We Are Now 30+ Years of Love, Lessons & Growth
Belinda sits down with a very special guest—her high school sweetheart and husband, Darren. Together for over 30 years, they’ve navigated many chapters and seasons in their relationship. Today, they dive into Darren’s personal growth over the past three years, including his decision to give up drinking and how it has shaped him into the man he is today. Reflecting on his past as a former professional football player and tradie—and the strong drinking culture that often comes with both—Darren shares some of the lessons he’s learned along the way.Episode Summary:The ‘Work Hard, Play Hard, Party Hard’ mentality and its lasting effects.Darren’s advice for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol.Why his only regret is not making this change sooner.How friendships have evolved through his journey.The surprising realizations he had on Belinda’s first Couples Retreat.His perspective on fatherhood and how his new choices have influenced it.The shift from substituting alcohol with sugar to finding a healthier outlet in training.Discovering his “herd” and the power of surrounding himself with the right people.Embracing vulnerability and the personal growth that comes with it.The biggest changes he’s experienced over the past three years.Join us for this open and inspiring conversation as Darren shares his journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation. If you or someone you know is navigating a similar path, this episode is filled with wisdom, encouragement, and hope.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Belinda & Darren also occasionally share insights on their Instagram page: @midlifesoberlife
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Episode 10: Dysregulation isn’t failure. And being Zen 24/7 isn’t the goal.
Do you ever feel like no matter how much healing work you do, you still get overwhelmed, anxious, or reactive? Maybe you even catch yourself thinking, “I should be past this by now.” If so, you’re not alone.Dysregulation isn’t failure—it’s communication. Your nervous system is always working to keep you safe, and when it shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, it’s responding to something—whether that’s stress, past experiences, or simply the demands of daily life.In this episode, we’re shifting the way you see dysregulation and, more importantly, giving you tools to navigate it with more awareness and self-compassion.What You’ll Learn:Why dysregulation happens and what your nervous system is trying to tell you.The biggest misconceptions about healing and nervous system regulation.How to recognize your personal signs of dysregulation before it spirals.Why avoiding discomfort keeps you stuck—and how to break free.Simple, practical tools to regulate in the moment and build resilience.Key Takeaways & Tools:✔ Recognize Your Triggers: Pay attention to physical and emotional signs like tension, shallow breathing, or feeling shut down.✔ Shift from Fixing to Listening: Instead of forcing yourself to “calm down,” ask what your system actually needs—movement, stillness, connection, or space.✔ Break the Avoidance Cycle: Small, safe steps toward discomfort teach your nervous system that you can handle it.✔ Regulation Techniques: Try grounding exercises, deep sighs, cold exposure, or humming to activate your vagus nerve and create a sense of safety.✔ Your Bounce-Back Rate Matters: Healing isn’t about never feeling dysregulated—it’s about how quickly and effectively you can return to regulation.Dysregulation is a normal part of being human. The goal isn’t to avoid it but to respond to it in a way that builds trust, resilience, and self-awareness. Every time you support yourself through it, you strengthen your nervous system and remind yourself: I am safe.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
Beyond The Surface unravels the layers with thought-provoking conversations and uncomfortable truths, covering topics like inner child healing, breaking generational patterns, trauma, nervous system regulation, limiting beliefs, conscious parenting, relationships, healthy living, and more.
Hosted by internationally recognized retreat leader Belinda Anderson, who has run retreats in Australia, Bali, and Fiji for over a decade, this podcast inspires you to heal, grow, and thrive.
South Africa