Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs
Tracy Franken- Dog Trainer, Vet Tech, Dog Lover, đž

Latest episode
246 episodes
241 | Want to Build a Deeper Connection With Your Dog? Stop Telling Them to âLook at Meâ
2026/09/21 | 24 mins.Hey Dog Lover đž
Your dog notices another dog coming down the road.
Their ears go up.
Their body changes.
Theyâre looking at that dog because, for whatever reason, that dog matters to them.
And what do we so often do?
âLook at me.â
âLook at me.â
âLOOK AT ME.â
But why?
Your dog knows the other dog is there.
You know the other dog is there.
Everybody knows the other dog is there.
So why are we trying so hard to get our dogs to stop paying attention to the world and pay attention to us?
What if we did something completely different?
What if we looked too?
In this episode, weâre talking about what connection with your dog actually looks like and why I think weâve gotten part of it a little bit backwards.
Because connection canât just be about getting your dog to pay attention to you.
Connection also requires you to pay attention to your dog.
Weâll talk about:
đž Why I question our obsession with teaching dogs to âlook at meâ when something important is happening
đž What your dog may actually be communicating when they stop, stare, listen, or notice something in their environment
đž Why acknowledging what your dog sees doesnât mean letting them make every decision
đž The difference between distracting your dog from something and experiencing it with them
đž Why being heard isnât the same thing as getting your way
đž How simply saying, âYep, I see it too,â can change the conversation between you and your dog
đž Why connection isnât necessarily constant eye contact, a perfect heel, or a dog who is always focused on you
đž How those tiny moments when you and your dog notice the same sound, sight, or experience can build connection
đž Why caring about what matters to your dog can make you more relevant when you need your dog to care about what matters to you
Because maybe weâve made connection a little too one-sided.
Come into my world.
Look at me.
Listen to me.
Walk with me.
Care about what I care about.
Ignore what I tell you to ignore.
But what happens when we occasionally turn that around and say:
Show me yours.
The next time your dog suddenly stops and looks at something, try looking too.
What did they notice?
What changed?
What are they experiencing?
You donât have to fix it.
You donât have to turn it into a training exercise.
And you donât necessarily have to let your dog do what they want to do next.
Just get curious.
Because maybe building a deeper connection with your dog isnât about getting them to pay more attention to you.
Maybe sometimes it starts when you pay more attention to them.
Hope you enjoy this one!
Tracy xoxox
RESOURCES
đž Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp!
BeyondObedience.ca/bootcamp
đž Take the Quiz!
Beyond Obedience Dogonality Quiz
đž Read the Blog!
Beyond Obedience Blog
CONNECT WITH ME!
Contact â info@beyondobedience.ca
Podcast â Beyond Obedience Podcast
Connect â Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community
Resources â Dogonality Quiz
Merch â Beyond Obedience Store
đžÂ NEXT STEPS đŁ
Step 1:Â Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding.
Join Living Beyond Obedience
Step 2:Â Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership.
đ Take the Dogonality Quiz
Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely free CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, October 20th, 21st and 22nd.
đ Save Your Spot for CALM DOWN, DOG!
Music Credit đś: Shawn Trotter
Shawn Trotter- Hey Dog Lover đž
Come.
Stay.
Leave it.
Off.
Down.
Letâs go.
No.
We humans are incredibly verbal.
And somewhere along the way, we seem to have decided that because our dogs live with us, they must also be fluent in English.
So when we say âcomeâ and our dog doesnât come, what do we do?
We say it again.
Usually louder.
âCOME!â
As though the problem is that they didnât hear the English the first time.
Sometimes dog training looks an awful lot like shouting English as a second language at your dog.
And then comes the sentence I hear all the time:
âBut my dog KNOWS come.â
Okay.
Maybe they do.
But do they know what âcomeâ means here?
And even if they do, is the word really the entire conversation?
In this episode, weâre talking about what weâre actually communicating to our dogs, what theyâre paying attention to besides our words, and why knowing a command might not be the problem at all.
Weâll talk about:
đž What we really mean when we say âMy dog knows thisâ
đž Why knowing a command in one situation doesnât necessarily mean your dog understands it everywhere
đž Why we put so much responsibility on a single word like âcomeâ
đž Everything your dog is paying attention to besides whatâs coming out of your mouth
đž How movement, body language, spatial pressure, intention, and your history together are all part of the conversation
đž What happens when your body and your mouth are saying two completely different things
đž Why your dog may need a reason to choose you, not just a command telling them to
đž How your relevance and relationship with your dog influence whether they follow your guidance
đž Why relationship-based communication doesnât mean we stop teaching or using cues
đž The question I want you to ask instead of âWhat command should I use?â
Because I absolutely use words with my dogs.
I teach cues.
Recall matters.
Skills matter.
But the word isnât carrying the entire conversation.
Your dog is also learning what you mean.
Your movement.
Your body.
Your patterns.
Your intentions.
Your history together.
Your relationship.
So the next time you find yourself thinking:
âMy dog knows this. Why arenât they listening?â
Get curious.
What are you actually communicating?
What does your dog understand in this situation?
And instead of immediately asking:
âWhat command should I use?â
Try asking:
âWhat am I trying to communicate?â
Because once you know the answer to that, the word becomes just one of the many ways you can say it.
And maybe we can finally stop shouting English as a second language at our dogs.
Hope you enjoy this one!
Tracy xoxox
RESOURCES
đž Join the Online Program Fearless Framework!
https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
đž Take the Quiz!
https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
đž Read the Blog!
https://beyondobedience.ca/blog
CONNECT WITH ME!
Contact â info@beyondobedience.ca
Podcast â https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast
Connect â https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Resources â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Merch â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store
đžÂ NEXT STEPS đŁ
Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding.
https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership.
đ https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Step 3: Ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start understanding what your dog actually needs from you? Join the Fearless Framework.
đ https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
Music Credit đś: Shawn Trotter
www.shawntrotter.com - Hey Dog Lover đž
What did you actually want when you brought your dog home?
Probably a dog you could do life with.
A dog you could walk with.
Take places.
Go on adventures with.
Hang out with.
A dog you enjoyed being around and who enjoyed being around you.
And yes, you probably wanted them to listen to you. You wanted a good recall. Some basic manners. Because nobody wants to live with an absolute hooligan.
But somewhere along the way, we started confusing training the dog with the actual goal.
Sit.
Stay.
Come.
Heel.
Leave it.
Place.
Donât jump.
Donât bark.
Donât pull.
And suddenly, weâre measuring success by how well our dog performs the things weâve taught them.
But was that ever really the point?
In this episode, weâre talking about why a well-trained dog and a dog who can successfully navigate the world arenât necessarily the same thing, and what we might start paying attention to if obedience isnât the ultimate goal.
Weâll talk about:
đž Why being well trained and being confident arenât necessarily the same thing
đž How a dog can perform beautifully and still feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or unsure
đž Why compliance doesnât tell us the whole story about whatâs happening underneath the behaviour
đž The difference between âI know how to do thisâ and âI believe I can handle thisâ
đž Why I donât want my dogs to need me for every answer
đž How we move from âYouâve got meâ to âIâve got thisâ
đž Why skills, boundaries, recall, and dog training still absolutely matter
đž What we could start celebrating if obedience wasnât our only measure of success
đž Why training is a tool for helping our dogs navigate the human world, not the destination
Because ultimately, I want something bigger than a dog who knows how to perform everything Iâve taught them.
I want a dog who knows how to live successfully in the human world without losing who they are in the process.
I want communication.
Trust.
Confidence.
Skills.
Boundaries.
Freedom where freedom is appropriate.
Guidance where guidance is needed.
And a relationship strong enough to hold all of it.
The name of this business is Beyond Obedience for a reason.
Obedience isnât bad.
Training isnât bad.
But I donât want my dogâs greatest accomplishment to be that theyâre easy for humans to live with.
I want the dog who once needed:
âYouâve got me.â
to eventually be able to say:
âIâve got this.â
So train your dog.
Teach them skills.
Give them boundaries.
But remember what all of that is supposed to serve.
Training is a tool.
It was never the goal.
Hope you enjoy this one!
Tracy xoxox
RESOURCES
đž Join the Online Program Fearless Framework!
https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
đž Take the Quiz!
https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
đž Read the Blog!
https://beyondobedience.ca/blog
CONNECT WITH ME!
Contact â info@beyondobedience.ca
Podcast â https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast
Connect â https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Resources â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Merch â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store
đžÂ NEXT STEPS đŁ
Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding.
https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership.
đ https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Step 3: Ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start understanding what your dog actually needs from you? Join the Fearless Framework.
đ https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
Music Credit đś: Shawn Trotter
www.shawntrotter.com - Hey Dog Lover đž
Your dog says no.
Maybe they pull their paw away when you try to trim their nails.
Maybe they move away when you reach toward them.
Maybe theyâre very clearly communicating:
âI donât want you to do this.â
So... now what?
Because I think weâve created two extremes when it comes to listening to our dogs.
On one side:
âIâm the human. Youâre the dog. Weâre doing this whether you like it or not.â
And on the other:
âMy dog said no, so I have to stop.â
But healthy relationships arenât quite that simple.
Sometimes your dog is going to say:
âPlease donât.â
And sometimes youâre going to have to say:
âI hear you. I know you donât want me to do this. And I still need to do it.â
In this episode, weâre talking about what it actually means to listen to your dog, respect their communication, and still make the decisions you sometimes need to make for their health, safety, and wellbeing.
Weâll talk about:
đž Why listening to your dog doesnât mean they always get the answer they want
đž The difference between being heard and getting your way
đž Why your dogâs ânoâ might change the decision, how you do it, or when you do it
đž What happens when something like nail care, grooming, medication, or veterinary care simply needs to happen
đž Why HOW you do something matters just as much as what you do
đž The difference between helping your dog through something and fighting them through it
đž How much trust it takes for your dog to let you make a decision they disagree with
đž Why one difficult interaction doesnât mean youâve damaged your relationship
Because respecting your dogâs communication doesnât mean:
âIf my dog says no, nothing they dislike can ever happen.â
It means their communication matters.
You hear them.
You stay in the conversation.
You adjust when you can.
And when the answer still has to be no, you remain someone they can trust through it.
So maybe the question isnât simply:
âDid I respect my dogâs no?â
Maybe itâs:
âWhat did my dog learn about me when I had to override it?â
Because trust isnât built by never doing something your dog doesnât want.
Itâs built, in part, by how you show up when you have to.
Hope you enjoy this one!
Tracy xoxox
RESOURCES
đž Join the Online Program Fearless Framework!
https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
đž Take the Quiz!
https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
đž Read the Blog!
https://beyondobedience.ca/blog
CONNECT WITH ME!
Contact â info@beyondobedience.ca
Podcast â https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast
Connect â https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Resources â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Merch â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store
đžÂ NEXT STEPS đŁ
Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding.
https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership.
đ https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Step 3: Ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start understanding what your dog actually needs from you? Join the Fearless Framework.
đ https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
Music Credit đś: Shawn Trotter
www.shawntrotter.com - Hey Dog Lover đž
If you have a fearful dog, chances are you've been told you need to build their confidence.
More training. More exposure. More experiences. More opportunities to successfully accomplish things.
Because training builds confidence, right?
Well... maybe.
But when I'm working with a fearful dog, confidence actually isn't where I start.
Because before I want your dog to believe:
âI've got this.â
I want them to believe:
âYou've got me.â
And that changes where we begin.
Instead of focusing immediately on changing the dog, I focus on building trust between the dog and the person standing beside them.
The progression I teach inside the Fearless Framework is simple:
Trust you.
Trust the situations you put them in.
Trust themselves.
And that last piece?
That's where confidence comes from.
In this episode, we're talking about why confidence may actually be the LAST thing we build with a fearful dog and why the relationship comes first.
We'll talk about:
đž Why I don't start by trying to make a fearful dog more confident đž Whether dog training really does âbuild confidenceâ đž The difference between being confident at doing things and feeling confident navigating the world đž Why trust in YOU comes before trust in themselves đž How your dog learns to trust the situations you put them in đž What it means for your dog to âborrowâ your confidence đž Why successful experiences eventually allow your dog to need you less đž How trust becomes the bridge to independence
Because confidence isn't necessarily the thing we're working on.
We're building trust. We're building communication. We're creating experiences that show your dog they can successfully navigate the world with you.
And eventually...
âYou've got meâ becomes âI've got this.â
That's where confidence comes from.
Hope you enjoy this one!
Tracy xoxox
RESOURCES
đž Join the Online Program Fearless Framework!
https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
đž Take the Quiz!
https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
đž Read the Blog!
https://beyondobedience.ca/blog
CONNECT WITH ME!
Contact â info@beyondobedience.ca
Podcast â https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast
Connect â https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Resources â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Merch â https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store
đžÂ NEXT STEPS đŁ
Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding.
https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience
Step 2: Why is my dog behaving that way?? Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership.
đ https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz
Step 3: Ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start understanding what your dog actually needs from you? Join the Fearless Framework.
đ https://beyondobedience.ca/fearless
Music Credit đś: Shawn Trotter
www.shawntrotter.com
More Kids & Family podcasts
Trending Kids & Family podcasts
About Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs
Do you wish you could enjoy life with your dog again?
Are you struggling with a reactive, fearful, anxious, or misunderstood dog?
Do walks, visitors, or everyday situations leave you feeling stressed, frustrated, or embarrassed?
I'm Tracy Franken, a retired vet tech turned dog trainer. I discovered the secret to a life of ease with my dogs; Through trust-based training, and a deeper understanding of dog behaviour, I'll help you build confidence, strengthen your relationship, and create a dog you can trust in the real world.
Because lasting change starts with understanding the dog you love.
Podcast websiteListen to Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs, Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app

Get the free radio.net app
- Stations and podcasts to bookmark
- Stream via Wi-Fi or Bluetooth
- Supports Carplay & Android Auto
- Many other app features
Get the free radio.net app
- Stations and podcasts to bookmark
- Stream via Wi-Fi or Bluetooth
- Supports Carplay & Android Auto
- Many other app features


Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs
Scan code,
download the app,
start listening.
download the app,
start listening.































