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Decoding Attachment Styles

Annalisa Bahadur
Decoding Attachment Styles
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  • How To Respond To Avoidants
    You’re doing “the talk wrong and I’ll help you fix it.First, think - an avoidant brain is not a secure brain. You can’t talk to it like it’s an emotionally healthy brain.We think we have to soft talk an avoidant but they are really looking at you thinking - “ I got this exactly where I want it.”I spoke kindly and softy for decades and that got me nothing but breadcrumbs and disrespect.ps: these tips are only for the emotionally immature.I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
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  • Magic & Mayhem- When Two Avoidants Date
    It can be intoxicating when two avoidants meet. There is chemistry and calm. But what happens when there is too much chemistry and calm for two people who are used to chaos? They may become bored and distant until there is a disconnect. And what happens after the disconnect? One or both can flip into their anxious state and seek reasons to stay connected- like a business venture on this case. This episode highlight how the brain works in the background to cause us to self-sabotage long before the relationship has a chance. We also talk about the red flags you don’t want to miss during the first meetup. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
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  • Love Bombed, Disregarded and Discarded By An Avoidant
    Sarah felt seen and validated until things turned for the worse with her avoidant attached partner. He then got up and left. You will see yourself in her story? You will learn from this coaching session how to navigate feelings the confusion and feeling of betrayal after being love bombed and discarded. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
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  • Avoidant to Secure Navigating a Relationship with an Avoidant
    It wasn’t easy for her , but Sarah felt like she had no choice but to shut herself away or withdraw  from the demands and overwhelm - even if that sometimes came from her children. In this episode, Sarah tells what happens in the mind of a avoidant when they are going through their deactivation and what they think during this time. She also shares how she healed after her partner abandoned her and their children, and how she deals with romantic relationships now. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
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  • Blindsided, Betrayed but Not Broken
    Very little is more devasting  than the condition of being blindsided and betrayed by an avoidant attached persons. Sure they have their reasons but that doesn’t negate the pain their sudden exit cause when we are the ones left behind. In this episode, Sarah (name changed) shares her struggles to get through a breakup (divorce) with her ex and her determination to heal. We can all see ourselves in her story- we feel her pain and we root for her. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
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About Decoding Attachment Styles

Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it.I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse.But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients.This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships.In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant. We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now.We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries.Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt.This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful.If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place.Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit.
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