Good movie week. Alien! Starring the only person on Earth named Sigourney. What a flick! What a legacy! Too bad all the other ones mark a slow decline. We hear the new series is great though. But this is a movie podcast, and we only talk about those things as we dissect them with our state-of-the-art equipment. This one’s great though! Ridley renders a rival ‘restrial, who raids and rumbles relentlessly until Ripley, racked with revenge, releases the rival to ruthless reentry. Alien deepthroat sessions! Face hugging leads to face fucking! Chest ‘splosies! Snake skin duct dangles! Impatiently throbbing eggs! Points deducted for Pipe Logic (™) nightmares, and much, much more on this week's episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made! Starting our mailbag season next week. Drop us a line: www.theworstmovieevermade.com
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#217 - The Crow: Wicked Prayer
This week, we close out our sequel season with The Crow: Wicked Prayer, starring John Connor cosplaying as Harry Potter cosplaying as Robert Smith if he were a Native American … or something. Rob watched every single crow sequel and reboot in preparation for this episode, and for the sole purpose of defending one of the best revenge thrillers of all time. We once covered the OG Crow movie during good movie week, and maybe Chris will finally come around and realize how it’s a cinematic masterpiece, unlike Wicked Prayer which is just a fart in your gas pump. Bob is sick, so email him a lozenge or something. He’s gonna need it after this one. Yelling:Convict coerces convicts to carve, kill, and clobber, creating chaos in the community, while the curse comeback crow causes counterstrike calamity and crushes killer cunty cretins. Gratuitous textposition! Gasoline freezer fire?! Chris’ alcohol and Fruit Loop sex dungeon! Broad daylight wedding rape? Dennis Hopper jive talk! Emergency rain dance surgery, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com
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#216 - Universal Soldier: The Return
This week, we get into Universal Soldier: The Return, which is really the fourth film in the series, but a direct sequel to the first one. Rob and Chris think it’s an improvement from the first installment, but Bob begs to differ. As long as JCVD hits his contractually obligated slow-mo roundhouse kick quota, all is right with the world. Here we go! Seth surmises scientific sabotage, so surprises suits and soldiers with siege and slaughter, but is subsequently squelched in a standoff with a sprout! Disappointing lack of JCVD’s ass! Tree titty tie ups! Lookin’ at the wrong twins! The noggin toboggan/Goldberg Rosebud (™)! Supercomputer UNISOL assembly lines! Rocketing into the nether realm! Brain-operating laser inconsistencies! Unconsenting zombie slaughter, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.comGearing up for an entire season of listener requests.Email us, you cowards!
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1:28:48
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1:28:48
#215 - Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
Environmental romantic thriller horror time as we dive into Birdemic 2: The Resurrection! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!Giant Jumbo Jellyfish jabs Jezebel just as Generic Joes and Josephines join to jab and jeopardize jay-like jumbo-jet sized jackdaws! Tit-scope triplets get totaled! Abhorrent audio and acting! Crows kill cavemen mid CaveHub(™) climax! Rod's rotten cod kills a kid! Rope-along Miata road head drive ‘n slide?! Big-lib Propaganda Bob! Chris’ poopin’ and doomin’! Breen by proxy?! The “didn’t make it” pile, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com
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1:19:55
#214 - Ernest Goes to Africa
You knew you’d eventually see us cover Ernest Goes to Africa, and the day of reckoning is upon us! Surprisingly, this ISN’T the most problematic movie we’ve covered on the pod, but it’s definitely up there. However! Jim Varney was such an all around good guy and wholesome figure, we’re kinda willing to give him a pass on this one. Know what we mean, Vern? Yucky yokel yanks a yoke to yield a yo yo, yelps and yowls, and yearns for a younger yenta! Wildly waving your wood in a crowd! Gerald Foghorn?! Grinding your goldfish in a garbage disposal! Bazoo with his big old kazoo! Pre-rape rituals? 10% Charlie?! Lack of eggshell continuity! Deserved dialect disambiguation! Wrangling what dangles, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!!!www.theworstmovieevermade.com
Join Chris, Rob, and Bob as they hilariously dissect the most cringe-worthy films to crown the worst movie ever. Between Chris’s alliterative nonsense, Rob’s skewed insights from South Park binges, and Bob's unpredictable naps, you're in for a wild cinematic ride. Enjoy dodgy bumpers, laugh-worthy clips, and Rob's wacky ad reads. Decide their next debacle via Instagram votes. Dive into cinematic chaos every Wednesday.
Discover more at www.theworstmovieevermade.com. 🍿🎥😂
South Africa