Raising Godly Boys Minute

Do you like it when seasons change?

If you’re a parent, you know what it’s like to be exhausted. That’s because each season of your son’s life requires huge amounts of time and energy.

You may feel like your baby will never sleep through the night, or your toddler will never get potty trained, or your teenager will never stop testing your patience.

When you feel overwhelmed, take heart. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season.”

There’s a season for learning how to ride a bike, for applying Band-aids, for starting school, for sports, and for so many other activities.

Take each season as it comes. By realizing that each stage of life will soon pass, you can focus on the joys of that season instead of its challenges.

For more encouragement and parenting advice, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

What developmental stage is your son in?

David Thomas, a family therapist, has divided a boy’s life into five stages.

Until age four, boys are in the “explorer” phase. When they turn five, they enter the “lover” stage. The third stage for our sons  is ages nine through twelve– the “individual.” Next is stage four, the “wanderer.” And finally, there’s the “warrior” phrase– between age eighteen into the mid twenties.

When we as parents understand the phases our son is going through, it helps us develop realistic expectations for him. We also can give our son some grace. Remember that growing up can be difficult, and what he always needs most is a generous heap of love.

To learn about the five critical needs of boys at any stage of life, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Are you disciplining your son, or are you naming him?

Many parents are guilty of using phrases like this with our son: “You are so messy” or “You are so disrespectful to me.” But family therapist David Thomas reminds us that, to our boy, it may sound like we are “naming” him. And hearing those phrases can lead a boy to believe that he is simply a messy or disrespectful person.

Instead, David suggests reframing the situation by saying: “Son, I’ve noticed you’re stuck in a pattern of disrespect.” That way, it’s possible to address the negative behaviors, but we aren’t accidentally giving our son a “name” he may attach to his identity. He may behave badly, but his behavior doesn’t define who he is.

For more ideas on raising boys to be godly men, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Ever strike a match?

A single match—or even a single spark from flint and steel—can start a fire. And if provided with enough fuel, that small fire can quickly grow into a large and powerful force.

The same can be said for words. A simple word of encouragement could be the spark that encourages your son to accomplish incredible things.

If your son is struggling with school or sports or social activities, give him some tips and pointers in a kind and patient way. Then, when you see progress, say, “Awesome job,” and give him a high five.

That simple act of encouragement could be the spark that prompts your son to strive for even greater success. It’s amazing how small words of affirmation can lead to big results.

For more encouragement and parenting advice, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Stuck in traffic? Use the time to teach your son a valuable lesson.

David felt his blood pressure rising one day while driving. He said to his son, “I’m getting really frustrated. How about we turn on some music so I can think about something else?” 

A few days later, David’s son was working on some math homework. He looked at his dad and said, “Dad, I’m getting really frustrated with this homework. Can we turn on some music so I can think about something else?”

Our kids learn so much from observing our behavior. If you want to raise a son who knows how to regulate his emotions, the best thing you can do is model healthy ways to deal with frustration– even with small things, like traffic.

For more ideas on raising boys to be godly men, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.