Ep #145 Emotional Regulation 101: How Feeling Your Emotions Makes You a Better Parent
If you've ever thought,“I shouldn't feel this way...” “I should be happier…” “Good parents don't feel so frustrated…” this episode is for you.In today's episode, I'm diving into the messy-but-magical world of emotional regulation and why—those uncomfortable feelings you're trying to stuff down are actually your parenting superpower in disguise.I share my own journey from emotional avoidance to acceptance (including that time I almost took my kids to Disneyland just to escape dealing with my feelings—true story!), and why understanding your own emotions is the secret sauce to helping your children manage theirs.In this episode, you'll discover:Why the "50/50 rule" of emotions changed everything for meThe science behind why feeling your feelings actually makes them LESS powerfulMy step-by-step process for moving from emotional reactivity to responsePractical ways to use your triggers as teachers instead of tormentorsHow emotional acceptance creates deeper connections with your kidsRemember, you don't need to be emotion-free to be an amazing parent—you just need to know how to ride the waves without drowning. And I'm here to be your emotional lifeguard! 🏄♀️Until next time, stay feeling! ~AndeeNext Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #144 8 Emotional Capacities Every Parent Needs (But No One Teaches You)
Hey hey, beautiful people! ✨Oh. My. Goodness. So picture this: I'm on a call with this mom (let's call her Sarah) who's completely stuck in the yell-guilt-repeat cycle (sound familiar, anyone? 🙋♀️). She's exhausted, beating herself up, and right in the middle of our session - BOOM - everything clicked. And I thought, "This isn't just for her. EVERYONE needs to hear this!"Here's the game-changer, my friends: What if instead of trying to STOP feeling triggered, we developed the capacity to feel EVERYTHING and still parent from our highest self?Her face changed instantly. Mine probably did too. Because this is IT - the missing piece in so many parenting journeys (including my own baby powder blizzard days... if you know, you KNOW).I'm sharing the 8 emotional capacities that have transformed my own reactive parenting into connected parenting. They're practical emotional MUSCLES that every single one of us can strengthen starting TODAY.The 8 Emotional Capacities That Changed My Life (and can change yours too!):The capacity to hold space for big emotions - Remember my Machu Picchu meltdown story with my daughter? That moment when I learned to be the calm in her emotional storm without getting sucked into the vortex? GAME. CHANGER.The capacity to accept what is - This one's all about courage, my friends. When my client's daughter wasn't invited to the birthday party and everyone else was... oof. But accepting reality doesn't mean you like it - it means you stop wasting energy fighting against it!The capacity to feel without reacting - That baby powder blizzard moment when I paused instead of exploding? The anger was STILL THERE, but I didn't let it drive the car. Mind. Blown.The capacity to recover after disconnection - Because let's be real, we ALL lose it sometimes. Perfect parents don't exist (and if you meet one, they're either lying or selling something, lol).The capacity to set limits with connection - My gentle parents crew, this one's for YOU. Firmness + compassion = parenting magic.The capacity to trust the process - Just like those tulip bulbs I planted at our cabin 10 years ago (side note: WHO KNEW they'd actually grow in the mountains??), parenting is the ultimate long game.The capacity to stay curious instead of judgmental - When my client's teen was slamming doors and eye-rolling, her judgment was blocking the truth. The moment she got curious? She discovered he was being BULLIED.The capacity to choose connection when you want to correct - Remember my story about the nail polish on the brand new couch? That moment of choosing my daughter over furniture STILL gives me chills.Listen, for everything you haven't done that you WANT to do as a parent - for every reaction you've had that you wish hadn't happened - there is an emotion you're avoiding feeling that's in the way.You can't take your kids beyond your own emotional capacity. If you can't handle big emotions yourself, how can you possibly help your child navigate theirs?I'm challenging you to pick ONE capacity this week. Just one! Message me on Instagram @ConnectMethodParenting and tell me which one you're working on. I'd absolutely LOVE to hear from you!Remember, this isn't about perfection - it's about progression. And every time you stretch your emotional capacity, you're creating more space for connection with your kiddos.Go connect with your kids! (And if you haven't subscribed or left a review yet, it would mean the WORLD to me! 💕)xo, AndeeNext Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #143 It's Like Smoking on an Airplane: How Parenting Practices Change
For decades, discipline was shaped by behavioral science—rewards, punishments, and timeouts were seen as essential parenting tools. But the research has moved on. Have we?In this episode, we trace the evolution of parenting science—from Skinner and Watson to Porges and Siegel—and explore why many of the most common strategies today (like timeouts) may be as outdated as smoking on an airplane.Inside the episode:📚 What polyvagal theory and attachment science reveal about emotional regulation🧠 Why isolation during distress (i.e. timeouts) is neurologically counterproductive🐀 What lab rats and chocolate chips can teach us about connection as a survival need📉 How cortisol levels and brain imaging show the hidden cost of disconnection🧬 Why co-regulation is foundational to brain development—not a parenting luxury🚫 And how old-school discipline is quietly being replaced by neuroscience-backed strategiesIf you've ever wondered why your child’s behavior doesn’t change with consequences—or if you're ready to move from control to connection—this episode will give you the science (and stories) to make the shift.Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #142 Red Flags, Deal Breakers & Non-Negotiables: Your Ultimate Tolerance Guide
In today's episode of the Connect Method Parenting Podcast, I'm diving headfirst into the messy, confusing, absolutely necessary world of figuring out what to tolerate in your relationships with your kids (and honestly, everyone else in your life). Because let's face it - we're all walking that tightrope between doormat and dictator DAILY.Here's what we're unpacking today:• The "Compassionate Alpha" approach - that magical middle ground between permissive pushover and authoritarian tyrant (spoiler alert: both extremes come from the same place of fear!)• My "Seen and Heard Sandwich" framework that starts with Connection and ends with Bridge - your step-by-step guide for handling everything from epic Target checkout meltdowns to homework battles• Why "accepting" your child's behavior is NOT the same as "condoning" it (say it with me, people!)• The traffic circle of frustration (thanks Dr. Neufeld!) and why our job isn't to punish the attacking energy but to help our kids move from mad to sad• My embarrassingly real Target story involving two toddlers, a public meltdown, and a stranger's birth control commentary (I literally abandoned my cart and fled)• The mind-blowing concept that "their behavior is information" - they're not trying to ruin your life, they're communicating something!Remember: You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. But tolerating your child's emotions doesn't mean letting go of boundaries - it means showing up with both compassion AND firmness.Whether you're dealing with eye-rolling teens or cookie-demanding toddlers, this episode is your permission slip to stop trying to "win" the power struggle and start winning the relationship instead.DM on IG @connectmethodparenting about YOUR tolerance dilemmas - I read every single one while contemplating whether I should have that last cookie in my fridge (Dollar Cookie Day, you are my weakness!).Stay boundaried but beautiful!xo AndeeNext Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #141 Not Just About the Dishes: How Hidden Thoughts Hijack Your Parenting
Ever send a text you regretted THE SECOND your thumb hit "send"? 🙋♀️ Just had one of those mom-text moments that made my stomach do that "oh no" flip. You know the one!Today I'm spilling about a moment (spoiler: it involved a car that looked like a convenience store had exploded inside it) and the thought-work rabbit hole I tumbled down afterward.The Mom-Brain MeltdownWe just returned from our 6-month family adventure, and suddenly we're back to normal life. The house was a disaster, I was a walking jet lag zombie, and then I found THE CAR. 🤯Cue text message that basically said "I guess no one cares about cleaning up" (with extra mom-sass).And then... that sinking feeling hit.The Secret ThoughtsMy brain was secretly thinking:"I shouldn't have to deal with this after coming home from a trip.""My teenagers are TOTALLY taking advantage of me.""They don't respect me/our home/our car""I'm failing at teaching responsibility."Sound familiar? Please tell me I'm not alone! 🙏Your Brain: Basically a Junk DrawerThese thoughts were building up like that kitchen junk drawer we all have. You know, the one where you toss random stuff until one day you desperately need something in it and you can't find it??!!! The Five Thought-Error StylesThe Catastrophizer: "If my child doesn't learn this now, they'll live in my basement forever."The Comparer: "Kim's kids would NEVER leave a mess like this." (They absolutely do.)The Crystal Ball Reader: "This behavior means my child is definitely going to end up like my weird uncle."The Mind Reader: "My child KNOWS this drives me crazy and is doing it to push my buttons."The Personalizer: "This messy room is a billboard announcing my failure as a parent."Thought-Catching ToolsDaily Thought Download: 5 minutes of word-vomiting all your parenting thoughts onto paper.Trigger Tracker: When eye-twitchy parent rage builds, write down the facts, your thoughts, feelings, actions, and the mess they created.Thought Swap: Try different thoughts like you're in a mental changing room.Reality Check: Ask, "Is this thought 100% true, or am I being dramatic?"Future Self Question: "What would wise, gray-haired future-me think about this?"Your HomeworkThis week, become a thought detective. Those annoying thoughts? They're leaving clues EVERYWHERE. Catch them before they turn you into a passive-aggressive texting monster.When you notice a thought that doesn't feel good, write it down and decide if it's helping you be the parent your kid needs.Choose thoughts that feel true AND helpful. Not "I LOVE crusty dishes!" but maybe "This is normal teenage behavior, not a personal attack."Final ThoughtsFinding and owning your thoughts isn't about becoming a perfect parent with perfect thoughts. It's about catching yourself before you spiral and remembering that your thoughts create your reality.If you've got your own "I can't believe I said that" moment, a question, or you'd love me to cover a topic on the podcast, slide into my DMs on Instagram @connectmethodparenting!And if this episode saved you from sending your own regrettable message, show a girl some love and leave a review! ⭐Until next time: connection before correction (and maybe put a delay on your text messages 😉).Byeeee! 💕Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
About Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting
Parenting advice on-the-go, with fun episodes that will make you laugh, cry, and feel better armed to be the parent you want to be! No punishments, rewards, or ultimatums required. (they’re actually discouraged).Join your host Andee Martineau, founder of the breakthrough parenting framework Connect Method Parenting, as she helps parents discover why their kids don’t listen and shows them the step-by-step process of regaining influence and building relationships that will last a lifetime!
Listen to Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting, Bluey Storytime and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
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