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  • Ep 474: How to Make a Big Move When You’re Stuck in the Muddy Middle
    In this Write Big Session, Jennie and KJ dive into what it really means to “write big” when you’re deep in the messy middle of a novel. KJ shares how she’s tackling her new book by working backward from the ending—mapping out the emotional and plot arcs for each character to keep herself focused and out of the coffee-chat scenes she loves to write. Jennie cheers her on, unpacking how this kind of clarity, self-awareness, and trust in the reader is what turns a good book into a great one.TRANSCRIPT BELOW!THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST* The Correspondent* KJ’s Review of The CorrespondentSPONSORSHIP MESSAGEHey, this is Jennie Nash, and I wanted to invite you to check out my Substack newsletter, The Art & Business of Book Coaching. It’s totally free unless you choose to support me, and it’s secretly really great for writers. The reason is that book coaches are in the business of helping writers do their best work. So I’m always talking about writer mindset and things like helping a writer find their structure or find an agent or find their position in the marketplace. If you’re considering investing in having somebody help you, it’s a great way to get prepared to know who you might want to pick and what you might want to ask of them. You’ll get an inside peek at the way that the people who are in the business of helping writers think about writers, and so in that way, it can help you become a better writer just by tuning in. I have a lot of writers following me over there, so if you’re interested, come check it out you can find it at substack.com/@JennieNash. That’s substack.com/@JennieNash, and it’s J-E-N-N-I-E.EPISODE TRANSCRIPTJennie NashHi, I’m Jennie Nash, and you’re listening to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast. This is a Write Big Session, where I’m bringing you short episodes about the mindset shifts that help you stop playing small and write like it matters. Today I’m talking to KJ, and we’re going to be doing recurring episodes where we talk about her efforts to play big and write big in her new novel. Hi, KJ.KJ Dell’AntoniaHi! This is going to be so fun. Okay, so I’ll tell you what—yeah, I’ll tell you what I’ve been working on. What I’m thinking—like, my theory here is sort of avoid the muddly middle by writing the end, or kind of outlining to the end. So I have about 30,000 words. I’ve really established things. The main events have really started to happen, and I know kind of where they’re going, but I kind of hit a point where I wasn’t sure, like, what should happen next, in what order. And I know myself—I am very prone, at this point, to just flaking off into people having coffee and talking.Jennie NashYes, you are! You are really good at that.KJ Dell’AntoniaExactly. And they would be very entertaining and enjoyable scenes of people having coffee and—or doing whatever. But there is—I mean, I have five point-of-view characters, one main one, but—and all of them have lots of stuff going on in their lives, some of which has to do with this, and some of which doesn’t. Well, all of it does, but you don’t—it’s not all the core, either the core emotional plot or the core actual plot. So what I did was to start sketching out the stuff that happens next, and then I kind of have jumped ahead, and what I’m working on now—and I’d love your sort of feedback on this as an idea—is I wrote out, like, okay, here’s the emotional end for each of these characters. Here’s where they need to end up, and then here’s the plot end for each of these characters in, like, the happy ending, if there was an epilogue—which this is not really that kind of book kind of way—just so I know, like, this is where… And now I am focused on, okay, what should, like, the last scene of this be? I know what happens, but I’m trying to figure out, like, what would be the—what would be the last thing? And I may get this in the wrong order, but anyway, that’s where I am, and I’m going to build those backwards until I catch up to my middle, and I’m thinking that will keep me—keep my eye on the ball. What do you think?Jennie NashWell, I could not love this more for you. I really couldn’t, because I know what you’re trying to do, and I feel like you’re doing it, and we’re getting at this idea of what does it mean to write big, and you’re trying to solve for something that you just identified for us—that you have it, you tend to fall into—and you’re trying to not do that. And you’re trying to write a bigger, better book because of it, and it’s so interesting because it’s a super nuanced thing you’re talking about, but it’s also where the difference—that’s how you get from good to great—and you’re trying to get to great. So I just love this so much. And what I hear is that you’ve outlined this book, which I know is hard for you, and now you’re kind of using that outline to scaffold yourself to write an emotionally satisfying story. So I just—I love it as a tactic for writing big.KJ Dell’AntoniaBecause even if I go back to that outline, like, there are some things happening in these people’s personal lives that are deeply important to them—and, I think, important to the reader—but not in the sense that I need pages and pages of either discussion or introspection about them. It’s more that those are—that they really need to stay back, not background exactly, but in this intense moment of these people’s lives, those things are still in their heads. Like, they’re still going, you know, Wait, what just happened means that I am never going to get a resolution to this thing that I’m deeply worried about—but also I have to deal with this, with this death and this crisis. And so I was thinking that doing this would keep me focused on the emotionality of the crisis.Jennie NashYeah, because you’re really good at plot. You’re really good at plot, and the other component that—underlying what is—the emotion of this person is something you’ve had to work harder at. And what I love about that is that this is how you get really fully fleshed-out characters. Because, like, I have a friend who is going through a heartbreak, and every single thing she does right now is done through the lens of that heartbreak. So even if she says, “Hey, do you want to go on a whale-watching trip out to the islands this weekend?” it’s not just about let’s go on a whale-watching trip, right? It’s about—KJ Dell’AntoniaRight.Jennie NashBut she’s not going to say that when she asks me to go on the whale-watching trip. She’s not going to say, “Because, you know, I’m lonely and sad,” you know? So what you’re doing is giving your characters these rich lives. But that’s not the story.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd also, I think it will help me to trust the readers—to pay attention to what matters about the rich lives. So, you know, to trust the reader to keep in their head that if someone has a passing, fleeting thought about one of those emotional—you know, one of those pieces of emotional background—that they will still either be wondering about it, if I haven’t revealed it yet, or, you know, recognize it for what it is. And I suspect that I’m going to forget some of them. As I go back through my outline, I’m like, Oh yeah, totally forgot she had this particular problem, and this is how this is going to be resolved. And that may mean that some of them don’t stay, although I think they will. I think it just means that I got—that, you know, ninety thousand words’ worth of story is a lot to keep in your head.Jennie NashSo when you sit down to write, how are you doing it differently? I mean, we know that you’re very good at productivity—doing the stickers, sitting down, doing the work—but how are you making yourself think in this different way this time?KJ Dell’AntoniaI am not drafting. I am staring. And I have two—oh, I have a Google Doc of about forty-six files at this point. Then—actually, no, I think it’s twenty-eight. So I have an outline that you are sometimes looking at, which has everything that I’ve written so far, and then a chunk of things that I know are coming up, where I could write those pretty quickly. The problem is… I would hit a wall at the end of them. So I want to come back and make sure that they’re what I want to—or at least what I think I want to—write. So I’m going into a sort of a secondary outline, and I’m writing things like—because a lot of what’s happening now is also that I am figuring out things that are happening now in the story that the reader won’t know till the end, because a lot of people did a lot of stuff—Jennie NashYeah.KJ Dell’Antonia—in this twenty-four-hour period, and some of it you may never know, but I need to know how and why—Jennie NashYeah.KJ Dell’Antonia…they did those things. So I’m kind of writing like, “What if he did this?” and, “Oh, you know, but—but wait, why? Why would he show up there at this moment?” and, like, resolving that and kind of coming up with all of that, even though that isn’t going to go in those pages. So I did—I worked on that this morning, and then I worked on—I wrote out the emotional ends for everyone. And now I’m just trying to—I’m thinking what I’ll kind of do is I’ll plot-outline backwards, and then I’ll emotion-outline backwards-forwards from there.Jennie NashYeah. Yeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaNo, no—well, backwards, I think, maybe because I know where they’re going to end. I don’t know whether—or I’ll sketch, I’ll sketch in the emotional bit. So what you—when you were looking at this, you could see that there’s a section of about seven lines that are pure plot.Jennie NashYeah. Yeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaBecause… that’s just me. I think, at this point, because this is a thriller and it’s complicated, I need to figure out—and then you and I—we had this great moment where, in one of those, I was like, I don’t know whose point of view the scene was from, and you said something very useful to me, which is, “Whose story would seeing this affect most?” And I knew—and I immediately knew the answer to that. So—Jennie NashI… I thought that you might.KJ Dell’AntoniaThat was a great way to deal with that.Jennie NashYeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah. I thought that you might. So I know we’re talking vaguely, but it’s this idea that when you have something that happens in the story, and there’s choices about what is the result of that action in the story—that different things could happen, different people could show up, different things could be said, different, you know, directions could go from this plot point. And right—the quest—you were saying, I’m not sure who’s going to be part of this action?Jennie NashWho’s going to find it?KJ Dell’AntoniaRight?Jennie NashYeah, who’s going to find this one character having this—I don’t—I know—I don’t want it to be from that character’s point of view. Somebody needs to come upon a character, you know, who’s just made a really crushing emotional discovery. And the question of who would—seeing that—whose emotional story would that alter the most? Because the plot at that point is going to be rolling. Like, I almost don’t have just the facts of what’s happening here; like, the plots are basically almost a one-line thing. So, like, the plot goes… yeah…Jennie NashThat’s what we’re getting at here. This is what it means to write big—it’s what you’re thinking about. We know what the plot is. It’s really quite simple. I mean, it’s straightforward, I should say—how you present it is not simple. And the emotional part—that’s what’s going to give us the emotional punch—is not simple. And so the decisions about every—at every plot point—what’s going to give the most emotional resonance here—that’s what writing big is. And you said something that I want to point back to, which is, you’re holding all of this in your head. I have always said that I think the primary skill of a really skillful novelist is holding multiple things in their head at one time, right?KJ Dell’AntoniaIt’s all in there. It’s like a big—it’s like a big sack of Jell-O.Jennie NashYeah? But the ability to—I mean, it’s funny you use that metaphor—but it’s more, it’s more like, I think of it as threads. And you’re like, “Okay, got this thread, and I got this thread, I’m holding these threads, and I’m weaving them together, and I have a grasp of all the threads.” That’s what you’re doing, and it’s that—it’s that skill. You have to have self-awareness, you have to have story awareness, you have to have confidence and authority—like, there are so many things that you have to have to pull that off, and I see that that’s what you’re trying to do here. And it’s so cool to watch. I love it.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd I don’t feel like I have those things. And I do think, you know, as I’m thinking about listeners out there going, I don’t have those things, I mean, I get that. I don’t feel like I have them either. I think when we, as readers, are also seeing ourselves as a writer, like, a really common thing that we think as a reader is, Oh, I know how a story works because I’ve read so many of them. And then I personally had to learn from Jennie quite a few years ago now that that did not actually teach me how to do this—structure the spot—but the holding the whole mess in your head, I think that may be what you get from a lifetime of reading—is this ability to have a big, loose grasp and, you know, keep enough notes to know that you’ve put a—you know, a pin in some section to come back to it, and that kind of thing. I feel like that might be the thing that we do have within us.Jennie NashAbsolutely. I’m looking—I’m trying to find—I just started reading a book based on your recommendation, and I can’t, I can’t find it, but you’re going to know what it is. It’s the novel in letters, the—uh…KJ Dell’AntoniaOh, The Correspondent.Jennie NashThe Correspondent, thank you. I mean, I—KJ Dell’AntoniaThat’s a first novel, but from a very adult human being. You know, it’s not a first-first novel by a twenty-two-year-old. It’s a first novel from probably somebody who’s probably written a few.Jennie NashBut the reason that I—well, I always love the way that you talk about books. Your sense as a reader, I just really appreciate. But you said something about it—that this book really trusts the reader to fill in the blanks, to figure out what’s happening. They’re not spoon-feeding you. And you mentioned how that felt unusual these days. And I thought, Oh, I want that experience as a reader. And also, I love that experience as a person who studies how books are made, and that trying to build that experience for the reader—that’s what you’re trying to do. By holding all those things in your head and deciding how and when to share them, or whose hands to put them in in a particular scene, or that sort of thing—that’s how you build that. And it’s hard. It’s really hard. So I applaud you for—you’re in there, it’s messy, you’re doing it, you’re doing it. It’s so exciting.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd one of the other things that we’ve talked about is how, like, every time many of us write, we’re trying to write bigger. Like, this—it’s not an insult to our past work; it’s just we’re trying to do bigger and do more. And so I’m thinking about—so when I was writing my earliest books, I remember that one of the things I was focusing on in books that I was reading was how people began things, and where, you know, where the turning points were—kind of where the Save the Cat!, moments were, absolutely, in terms of… but not just where those were, but sort of how they were done—like how people regret, and how they demonstrated who the protagonists were. And then I remember moving on to a question of how little does someone put in a book about a secondary character, or someone who really mattered to the protagonist’s life, that tells me what I need to know as a reader but doesn’t take up a lot of pages.Jennie NashYeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd I would literally go in and count—like, okay, how many times did we see this mother that I fully understand how important they were to the protagonist? And it’ll be, like, twice and a couple of references. So I remember doing that. And now I feel like what I’m really paying attention to is how little does a book that I really enjoy—the process of sort of working my way through—how little does it give people, and how much does it demand that you figure out?Jennie NashYeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaHow little information are you given so that you can do—because that’s the good work of a reader. Sometimes you don’t want to do that, you know? Sometimes you kind of want it all served up, or you kind of want something where the tropes are simple enough that you can—but sometimes you really want something where you have to do some figuring out. And it doesn’t—The Correspondent is not a thriller.Jennie NashRight.KJ Dell’AntoniaBut you really have to figure out, like, who is this person, and why do they do this, and why are they able to do this, and why—how are they making mistakes by doing—and by “do this,” I mean, she’s a letter writer. She’s the correspondent. She writes letters instead of, as it turns out, really, instead of talking to people. But it’s really good, so I do recommend it.Jennie NashSo I like to end these short episodes with a reflection that the listener can do, or something that they can take away to think about based on what we’ve talked about. Is there something that comes to your mind that you would recommend?KJ Dell’AntoniaWell, it’s a little dependent on where you are in your manuscript, but I think—so what I’m really going to recommend is, come at what you’re doing from a different angle within the book. Start from something you know happens, and either work backwards up to it or forwards or backwards from it, instead of working chronologically—not necessarily in terms of drafting, but just in terms of figuring out what are the very most important things that have to show up on the page.Jennie NashI love that. Well, until next time, for everyone listening—stop playing small and write like it matters.NarratorThe Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work.#AmWriting: A Groupstack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
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  • How Writing Big Shows Up on the Page
    In this #amwriting podcast episode, Jennie Nash talks about what it means to “play big” on the page. Using Ian McEwan’s choice to write his latest novel without research as an example, she shows how true impact comes when a writer fully owns their story and brings it to life with depth and intention. She encourages listeners to think about their own top five most powerful reads, notice what made those books unforgettable, and aim to create that same sense of bigness in their own writingTranscript Below!#AmWriting: A Groupstack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.SPONSORSHIP MESSAGEHey, it’s Jess Lahey. If you’ve been listening to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast for any length of time, you know that yes, I am a writer—but my true love, my deepest love, is combining writing with speaking. I get to go into schools, community organizations, nonprofits, and businesses, and do everything from lunch-and-learns to community reads to just teaching about the topics that I’m an expert in—from the topics in The Gift of Failure: engagement, learning, learning in the brain, cognitive development, getting kids motivated—and, yes, the topic of overparenting and what that does to kids’ learning. Two topics around The Addiction Inoculation are substance use prevention in kids, and—what I’ve been doing lately that’s the most fun for me, frankly—is combining the two. It makes the topic of substance use prevention more approachable, less scary, when we’re talking about it in the context of learning, motivation, self-efficacy, competence, and—yes—cognitive development. So if you have any interest in bringing me into your school, your nonprofit, your business—I would love to come. You can go to JessicaLahey.com. Look under the menu option “Speaking,” and go down to “Speaking Inquiry.” There’s also a lot of information on my website about what I do—there are videos there about how I do it. Please feel free to get in touch, and I hope I get to come to your community. If you put in the speaking inquiry that you are a Hashtag AmWriting listener, we can talk about a discount—so that can be one of the bonuses for being a loyal and long-term listener to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast.Hope to hear from you.EPISODE TRANSCRIPTHi, I’m Jennie Nash, and you’re listening to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast. This is a Write Big session, where I’m bringing you short episodes about the mindset shifts that help you stop playing small and write like it matters.Today we’re talking about how writing big shows up on the page—how you know when somebody else has done it, when a writer has really wrestled with their material, when they’ve really thought about what matters about it and why it matters, and how they want their readers to feel. They’ve done all the work of making the choices that deliver an experience to their reader. You can feel it—and you want it.Just before Ian McEwan’s new novel came out—which is called What We Can Know—I read an interview with him in The Wall Street Journal, and the interviewer, whose name is Jon Mooallem, asked McEwan this: “You seem to savor research for your books. To write about a brain surgeon, in Saturday, you observed brain surgeries. Here you’re writing about a future that’s so plausible-seeming and specific but diverges dramatically from all the well-worn dystopian tropes. How do you go about researching the future?” And McEwan answers, “I didn’t do any research for this novel.” The interviewer says, “Amazing—none?” And McEwan says, “I could have written it from a prison cell. I mean, there are factoids I looked up on the internet in 30 seconds, but as I approach 80, I’d rather revel in taking a walk through my own mind.”I don’t normally read dystopian fiction, but when I heard that answer, I went and pre-ordered the book. I’ve read some of McEwan’s other books and have adored them—especially Atonement. So he’s on my radar as a writer that I like to read, and a writer that is worth my time. But I pass up a lot of books by writers whose previous work I’ve liked, so it’s not a foregone conclusion that I would have read this one. But that idea—that he did no research for a sci-fi dystopian novel—and those words about how “I’d rather revel in taking a walk through my own mind”—that tells me that this is a book in which he’s playing big, and that’s a book that I want to read.It’s not that there’s anything wrong with research, obviously. People who are writing nonfiction are going to need to do a lot of research, and people writing historical fiction or maybe memoir, and people writing sci-fi or fantasy who are making up worlds that have new technologies or thinking about future systems of government or transportation or food delivery or any of that, are going to need to do research. It’s not that I’m knocking that. What I heard, though, was this idea of a writer who was just owning this story—who had it alive in their head and was bringing it to life on the page. And that’s what I always am looking for, and I suspect it’s what you’re looking for, too.If I were to ask you to reel off your all-time top favorite five books, I bet you would be able to. These books live in our minds because of the experience that they delivered to us. And sometimes it’s because they came at the exact right moment in our lives. A lot of people will reference a book like Charlotte’s Web, which maybe was one of the first books that they ever read—or one of the first times they understood what death is about. Or people will talk about Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, because they felt, for the first time, that this author was really speaking to them and got into their heads and their hearts. So there’s a huge part of this about where we are in our lives when we encounter a particular book and why it might hit us in that particular way. But if you really think about that list of five books, you’re going to understand that there’s something about those books where the author was playing big. They own their story in a very specific way.One of the books that would be on my top-five list would have to be the book Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey. This is a memoir that I read when I was a teenager. I think I pulled it off of the shelf of my dad’s study. It’s a story of this guy who spends a season in the wilderness. He is a ranger at Arches National Park, which is one of those beautiful parks out in the middle of the desert. It’s a red-rock landscape, and there are arches out there made out of that rock. It’s a very harsh environment, and he is out there greeting the people who dared to come visit this space. And the reason that book is on my list is that I read it more than forty-five years ago, and I can still remember exactly what it felt like to open that book and start reading. Edward Abbey writes in a very specific and unique and intense voice, and he has very big and controversial thoughts about comfort and wilderness and what people seek when they go out there. But for me, the reason that book stays on my top all-time list is because that was the book that helped me finally understand my father. And my father was a professor of environmental studies. He spent a lot of time out in the wilderness, in places that were harsh and uncomfortable, and he had a lot of very strong opinions, like Abbey. And he was a hard man to understand because of some of these things. And as a kid growing up and, you know, becoming a teenager, I didn’t understand him, and it was a struggle to understand him. And when I read this book, it was as if somebody handed me a whole new understanding. And I just thought, Oh, this is it. I get it. I get him now. And I can call up that feeling all these years later—of how amazing it was to have somebody see me and see my dad in a way that I hadn’t been able to see. So when I think about that experience, and I think about what it was like to be immersed in that book…To me, that is a memory of somebody who played big. I think it was one of the first times I encountered—certainly in an adult book—somebody who was writing big. That book just had a bigness about it, a sense that the author was holding nothing back.And what I mean about holding nothing back—I don’t mean that all good writing is just dumping your most private or vulnerable thoughts on the page, or forcing that kind of revelatory work on somebody. That’s not what I mean. I mean that there’s a sense of depth to it, a feeling of authority—of that author having come as close as you can get to bringing their vision to life. That’s what makes a reading experience unforgettable. And it’s worth noting here that we live in the time of AI, and AI can do a lot for a story. It can analyze your structure. It can flag plot holes. It can suggest fixes. There’s a whole lot that you can use it for if you so choose. People can decide whether they want to use these tools in their work or not.But the thing is that, no matter if you’re using those tools, AI can never touch this thing that we’re talking about. It can never do the work of the heart—of deciding why a story matters, or why a book matters, or why you’re willing to risk writing it or going all in on it. It can never connect with the reader who’s going to encounter that work on the other side, because it’s a machine.And this human work of connecting is what playing big is really about.Playing small is skating across the surface of an idea. It’s polishing words while avoiding the deep meaning. It’s leaning on formulas or tropes or trends or tools to do the heavy lifting of intention. The result may be polished, it may be clean, it may be publishable—it may even do well in the marketplace—but it lacks that sense of aliveness that only you can bring, that sense that this work mattered to the writer. So what I’d like you to do today is think about the top five books that you have read in your life and that you remember and that hit you with a strong power. And it might be fun to think about what you felt when you read them and why they impacted you in that way. But what I really want you to do is to pin down the reason why that book has a sense of bigness to it. What did the writer do to make you feel what you felt? And I don’t mean tactically—we’re looking for something ineffable here, some sense about why that writer was playing big. And then you might write down the way you want your reader to feel when they finish your book, and ask yourself: what do I need to put on the page to make that happen?Until next time—stop playing small and write like it matters.NarratorThe Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work.#AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
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  • Ep 472 Publishing Nerd Corner: Earning Out
    Hey all, Jess here. Sarina and I both love these episodes where we, two certified nerds, get to hang out with likeminded individuals and dish. This week, we are going to talk about one of Jess’ most niggling worries: what does it mean to a publisher and an author to “earn out” a book advance and what does it mean to both if that never happens?Transcript available below, but making good ones isn’t free—help support the Podcast below!Your subscription = good podcast karma.KJ Dell’AntoniaHey listeners. Did you know that we review first pages sent in by supporters every month on the pod? It’s just one more reason you should be supporting Hashtag AmWriting, which is always free for listeners—and ad free, too. Please note that we will never pitch you the latest in writer supplements or comfy clothes for lap-topping. The good news is we’re open for First Page submissions right now! If you’ve got a work-in-progress and you’d like to submit the First Page for consideration for a Booklab: First Pages episode, just hit the support button in the show note, and you’ll get an email telling you all the details. Want to hear a Booklab episode? Current ones are for supporters only but roll your pod player back to September 2024 and there they’ll be!Multiple SpeakersIs it recording? Now it’s recording—yay. Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone. I don’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. All right, let’s start over. Awkward pause. I’m going to rustle some papers. Okay, now—one, two, three.Jess LaheyHey—welcome to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast! This is a podcast about writing all the things—this is the podcast about writing short things, long things, you know. And specifically, where we’re going to focus these days is on a little episode we’re calling The Publishing Nerd Corner with Jess and Sarina. I’m Jess Lahey. I’m the author of The Gift of Failure and The Addiction Inoculation, and you can find my work at The Atlantic, at The New York Times, at The Washington Post, and at jesslahey.substack.com.Sarina BowenAnd I’m Sarina Bowen, the author of many contemporary novels. My new one is called Thrown for a Loop, and it drops on November 4th , and I am so excited. And today’s topic actually pertains to what happens when you have a book that’s publishing and everybody has all these big expectations. We’re going to cover one of them, which is earning out your advance—or not—and how to frame your thinking around this.Jess LaheyYeah, first. I mean, the way this Nerd Corner works is because Sarina tends to have more of the business acumen and the nerd acumen. I let her do a lot of teaching me. But one thing I would like to state at the very beginning of this—and apologies, I didn’t look up the stats; Sarina might know them—the number of books that actually earn out their advance if it’s nonfiction. For example, my book that we’re going to talk about today is nonfiction, and so I got a big advance based on a—and we’re going to talk about that. We’re going to talk numbers. It makes authors really nervous, but I think it’s important. The number of authors that actually earn out is really, really low—like, much lower than you expect. . So “earning out” can mean a couple of different things, and we’re going to talk about that today. But to set the scene, we’re going to use my book The Gift of Failure as the example for earning out. as the example for earning out. So I’ve sold a lot of books—like, this book was a success by any measure. It was on The New York Times bestseller list. I had Kristen Bell go on Instagram and say, “Buy this book, it’s so great,” and it sold out across the country. I am not complaining here; I am just saying that it makes me extremely nervous that technically I have not earned out my advance on The Gift of Failure. Again, to set the scene, The Gift of Failure was based originally—it came out of an article that went viral at The Atlantic on why parents need to let their children fail. There was a big auction for this book that lasted three whole days. It was very exciting, and the number kept going up and up and up. And I was freaking out, because now you’ve got huge expectations. I mean, I’m thrilled, but the expectations keep getting bigger and bigger. So where we ended up was Harper Books came back with the highest bid, and it was also for the editor that I was most excited to work with, Gail Winston, and it came in at $400,000, so that was wonderful. That was great. It was based on—I got five payments over five, essentially, five years, and I have not earned back that advance for my publisher. So, Sarina, what would you say to me—a writer who is stressed out because that means, you know, when they’re looking at purchasing other books like The Addiction Inoculation, I was able to sell to them, even though it’s a tough niche, that little—it’s a tough corner, that addiction corner—and they knew that this book was not going to sell as well. But on the strength of my sales of the addiction…excuse me, of The Gift of Failure, I was able to sell that book, but I hadn’t earned out. So why are they going to pay me to write another book if I hadn’t earned out?Sarina BowenIt’s such a great question. So the thing—the punch line of this episode—is we just want you to know that if you don’t earn out, you’re not a failure. And we don’t mean it in a nice way, like everybody gets a ribbon. We mean, like, you might not be a financial failure for the publisher, even though on your statement it says you still haven’t earned back your advance. And that’s because the advance that you’re paid is part of a profit-and-loss estimate that the publisher makes before they offer on a book. And just in case anybody is squishy about this—like, an advance means those royalty amounts in your contract, you’re getting paid an upfront amount, and then you have to, like, earn it back with those royalty amounts in your contract.Jess LaheyAnd for those who actually are not familiar with this at all, I don’t have to pay back the money if I don’t earn out. That’s not a thing.Sarina BowenRight. So the publisher said, “We like this book so much we are going to pay you $400,000, and we think that you will sell enough copies that we will be in the black on our P&L statement.” But they never show us the P&L statement. So let’s just say that they had a P&L statement that shows that they’re profitable on this book even if you only sell 70,000 copies—but you’ve sold over twice that amount. So when I worked on Wall Street, I was given a bonus every year, and the bonus made everybody feel like, “This is the amount of money that you’re worth.” But what it really was is “This is the amount of money we have to pay you so you won’t quit and go work for somebody else.” And an advance is exactly the same thing—it’s how much do we have to pay you to win, but also in a way that looks okay on our profit-and-loss estimate of what this book can do. And of course, you mentioned that we don’t have good data about how many books earn back their advances. And the truth is, even if you and I had done a deep dive prior to sitting down here today, we still wouldn’t know, because nobody publishes these numbers. And the only time that you get a glimpse of them is when some publishing executive is on the stand in a court case about, say, whether two Big Five publishers can merge.Jess LaheyGotcha.Sarina BowenAnd then, yeah. And then they tend to say various things—like, they’ll give a statistic, and then everybody in publishing will be, like, nailed to the transcript of this court case to see, like, how is everybody doing in there? Because, you know, nobody—nobody tells you. Nobody is obligated, even in a publicly traded company, to give these precise statistics about how often people earn out.So earning out has some pros and cons. Like, so you said that writing this book—because you sold it on proposal, and then you had to write it, and you had this big amount of money that you had to recoup—and that is so intimidating. And I’ve been in this same situation. I sold The Five Year Lie to HarperCollins two years before that book was published, and I still had to write the book, because that book was actually also sold on proposal.Jess LaheyWhich doesn’t happen very often, dear listener. Do—Sarina BowenThat’s rightJess Lahey—not think that you can sell your first fiction on proposal. That’s not how it works.Sarina BowenRight—that will never happen. But, um, this was my, like, 50th novel, and then you can sell on proposal. But anyway, I also had to write something in a new genre with my own expectations built in, and that’s scary. But the reason we need this fear—the value of this fear—is that both of our publishers were invested in our success. If I had been offered a low advance and I had taken this deal, then, um, sure, I would be less stressed out about the success of the book—but so would my publisher. The more skin they have in the game, the better they’re going to see your project through.Jess LaheyRight.Sarina BowenAnd that is valuable. So a little bit of our fear—or, okay, fine, a lot of it—is actually doing things for this calculation that we need, that we require.Jess LaheyAnd to decode that—what that can often mean is marketing budget. So The Gift of Failure had, you know, the amount that they’re willing to invest, including the number of hours my publicist at Harper is willing to invest in publicizing this book, comes down to how invested they are in the book. And given the number that I got, they’re pretty invested in this book. And, you know, I was pretty happy with some of the publicity stuff. And also, on top of that, you know, I requested bookmarks and postcards and all that sort of stuff, and I requested to have as many as they could afford in my marketing budget shipped to me. And honestly, for The Gift of Failure I’m just now finally running out of postcards, and I use a lot of those postcards still in my marketing. And they also have been in communication since then—been really appreciative of how much I invest in the publicity. But I will say, I knew—I knew when I was old news and that they were no longer really going to invest in my publicity—when the next big thing, the next big book that was coming out from Harper with this publicist, when I started accidentally getting that author’s emails about, you know—it was a total mistake, and it was very funny—but I’m like, oh, yeah, I see, I’m done now. This is—they’re on to the next book. Which was fine. But again—and we’ve said this a million times—no one can market you better than you can market you. So that was fine with me, and I also knew that that would be a big role for me with this book. But, yeah, the marketing budget is very much factored in when you look at how much they’re willing to spend on you.Sarina BowenYeah. So we should say a couple more things about [unintelligible]. One is, everybody’s first statement from the publisher—whether that comes quarterly, semi-annually, or annually—is always a little bit rattling, because they’re hard to read. They just are. Like, I don’t know any publisher who has, you know, beautiful, easy-to-read statements. And so the befuddlement one can have on there is, you know, not to be underweighted. But also, if you—so, we have this double-edged sword. Like, we want a big advance because it reduces our risk, and it increases the publisher’s risk, so they’re going to invest in it. But, as you said before, then if you don’t perform—like, if you dramatically underperform your advance—and this happens in publishing all the time—it will be maybe a little bit harder for you to sell the next book, and maybe you have to switch publishers, because maybe idea number two is really fantastic and more saleable. Then you have to find somebody with a clean slate—like, that they see the value of your new idea. They’re not intimidated by the fact that your first book didn’t sell a kajillion copies. And, you know, that editor doesn’t have, like, a wound from having, you know, failed the first time. So these things happen.Jess LaheyBecause—keeping in mind that that editor has to go, you know—any editor that wants to acquire your book has to go before, you know, their peers, their colleagues, and say, “I really want to buy this book, and here’s how much I think it’s worth, and there’s going to be an auction.” And then, you know, I could imagine that an editor might feel like a bit of a doofus if their book doesn’t perform the way they’ve predicted in front of that room of their colleagues.Sarina BowenBecause they would. You know, it’s just not fair for them to come back and say, “Yeah, we’ll give you the same schlubby advance on the second one.” So, so there’s emotions on either side of this. And one thing about earning out that can happen is that sometimes, if you have a two-book deal, you will have a clause in your contract that calls for joint accounting between those two books. And this is a clause that I always ask to be taken out, because that means if you didn’t earn out—if you earned out the first book but not the second one—then they’re going to hold on to your royalties until you’ve earned out enough money to cover both advances. And that’s obviously unfavorable to the author.Jess LaheyYeah, you also reminded me that there were some things that happened with The Gift of Failure, where, for example, I narrated my audiobook. And I think—I think that my flat fee for narrating that audiobook went against my advance.Sarina BowenAdvance. Mmhmm.Jess LaheyYeah, I didn’t get a check, like a flat-out check for that. It went against my advance. And I think the same for my Spanish edition. I think that because the Spanish edition was also part of Harper—it’s Harper Español—that that went against my advance as well, as opposed to, you know, “Here’s another chunk of money for the Spanish edition.”Sarina BowenWell, that was actually a really unusual scenario for you, because you sold North American rights generally on this book, right?Jess LaheyYeah. Mmhmm.Sarina BowenIn English. You sold English only? Or World English? That would mean that…Jess LaheyActually, I didn’t sell World English. It was just North American, because there’s the different North American short books, and there’s—Sarina BowenRight. Okay.Jess Lahey—the British version.Sarina BowenSo North American rights means that your advance really only covers those books that sell in the U.S. and Canada and territories of the U.S.—and sometimes the Philippines, for reasons that nobody has ever explained to me. But if you’d sold world rights instead, you would have the entire world to help you pay down that advance and then start earning royalties. And I did have a moment last year where I asked my agent, like, “Why didn’t we sell world rights on this book?” Because now we’re scrambling to place the book with a U.K. editor. And she said—and it made so much sense—she said, “Because if the U.K. branch of your publisher is not fired up about the book and is not motivated, then we won’t get the placement you want anyway.”Jess LaheyGot it!Sarina BowenLike, it won’t work. And of course, that made lots of sense—like, they’re busy acquiring titles that they feel they can sell in the U.K. to their audience, and they know best about that. So I needed to be reminded why that is. But, yeah—so lots of things can go against our advances. And the point of today’s discussion was to make sure that you understand that there’s an emotional load for the way that we do these things. And your publisher might be very happy with you even if you didn’t earn out your advance.Jess LaheyI can tell you, though, where The Gift of Failure is concerned—I have earned out in one spot, and that is China. In China, I have earned—not only did I earn out, they decided to renew my contract early because they were so pleased with sales there. So that’s good. I do get small royalty checks for my Chinese version, so yay!Sarina Bowen(Laughing)Jess LaheyGiddy up.Sarina BowenGiddy up.Jess LaheyAll right, have we covered everything we want to cover on this topic?Sarina BowenWe have, and we hope that our listeners are out there getting the best advances they can and then not worrying about them too much.Jess LaheyExcellent. I like that answer. And until next time, everyone, keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game.NarratorThe Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
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  • How to Make a Quiet Novel Roar
    You kids I can’t even with Catherine Newman right now because I am a Wreck and a Sandwich myself at the moment but wow, she’s a good writer, so honest it’s like there’s no skull between her mind and the readers. We talk about what it means to use yourself and your world in your fiction and what it’s meant to Catherine to play as big as she possibly can and go bigger and deeper with every book.We ALSO talk about Catherine’s totally granular technique for planning and tracking and keeping her eye on the ball in every chapter while still pulling in all the other things while making sure that if it’s Friday night a teacher character doesn’t get up and go to teach the next morning and the blackberries never ripen in April, and let me tell you that I just went back and listened to that now and I am about to implement it because it’s brilliant.Ok, time to let you listen (although links to what Catherine and I are reading and loving are below). ALSO…Truth? We wanted to tuck the transcript away behind a paywall, but it turns out we can’t do that and still give you the episode… so, here it is. But we have to pay someone to make a good one, that you can read. And we still have to pay ourselves and all our people. BUT LOOK YOU GET ALL OF US. We’re not just one writer, we’re a whole bunch—a Groupstack, and yes we coined the term, and you get a lot of bang for your subscription. So, if you could kick in, we’d cheer.Please don’t make us try to sell you Quince clothing or gambling sites to support the pod.#AmReadingCatherine: A Truce That Is Not Peace by Miriam ToewsKJ: EPISODE TRANSCRIPTKJ Dell’AntoniaIt’s fall, y’all, and there’s got to be a T-shirt that says that, right? So it’s, you know, fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, sharpened sense of ambition, excitement after the languid summer days, and, of course, the glory that is decorative gourd season. You can say that with all the swears that you like, but I’m not going to hear “falling leaves” and “Halloween,” which means it’s time for smoky, eerie, witchy reads, and I have just the thing for you—Playing the Witch Card. Expect a woman starting over again after her marriage collapses, hampered by her magic-obsessed daughter, her flaky mother, her enchanted ex, and a powerful witch who’s thrilled that she’s back in town—and not for a good reason. To keep her family together, Flair has to embrace the hereditary magic that’s done nothing but ruin her life in the past and make it her own. I was inspired by what I see as the real magic of tarot cards, which play a huge role in this book—and tea leaves and palm reading, and honestly, every form of oracle. They’re here to help us see and understand our own stories, which is pretty much what Flair figures out. And as someone for whom stories are everything, I love that. You can buy Playing the Witch Card everywhere, and I hope you will do exactly that—and love it too.Multiple SpeakersIs it recording? Now it’s recording, yay. Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone. I don’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. All right, let’s start over. Awkward pause. I’m going to rustle some papers. Okay, now—one, two, three.KJ Dell’AntoniaHey, kids, it’s KJ, and this is the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast—the place where we help you play big in your writing life, love the process, and finish what matters. Today on the pod, I’m talking with Catherine Newman. She is the author most recently of We All Want Impossible Things and Sandwich, and also, earlier in her career, Waiting for Birdy and Catastrophic Happiness, as well as two fabulous “how to be a person in the world” books for kids that, honestly, I think we could all benefit from. I’m considering just, you know, sending out copies. They are How to Be a Person and What Can I Say?—that one’s really useful. Okay, so now, just out, she has Wreck—which kind of comes after Sandwich, but you could read them separately. They’re both small, intense books. Wreck, like all of Catherine’s work, is inevitably about exactly what I just said—it’s how to be a person in the world. Which—I didn’t actually ask Catherine this; I’m recording my intro for y’all after talking to her—but she would not tell you she knows how to be a person in the world. But she is so fantastic about the part where we’re all figuring it out, and being aware that we’re all figuring it out. And that’s what all of her books are about. In the interview, which you’re going to love, she calls herself the queen of the slight plot element, which made me laugh really hard and also made me realize that I think Catherine Newman is the modern Anne Tyler. So tell me what you think in the comments on the show notes—which you’d better be getting. They are at...there’s no hashtag in our name—AmWritingPodcast.com—or search anywhere they will have the books that Catherine mentions, and also all of your chances to do all of the things, like have your First Page appear in a Booklab episode. Talk to us. Get in there. Tell us what you’re thinking about writing. Write along with us. Really just—just all the community stuff that we all so desperately want. Okay, here comes my interview with Catherine. I know—gosh, it was so fun to talk to you. You guys are going to love it. Catherine Newman, welcome to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast, where you’ve been at least once, maybe twice—I need to go and look. It’s so fun to have you back. I remember us walking in the woods before you had finished We All Want Impossible Things in 2021.Catherine NewmanI remember it too.KJ Dell’AntoniaWhich, actually, for three books, is not that long ago.Catherine NewmanHey, that’s true. I know... I remember your dog.KJ Dell’AntoniaHe’s here somewhere.Catherine NewmanYou had a young dog with you. It was the best. And you—you said so many things that I’ve thought about so much on that walk. But I don’t want to derail the thing you want to talk about.KJ Dell’AntoniaBut, but same—it was a great walk. We must do it again. All right, meanwhile—okay, so I already described in the introduction all the things you’ve ever written in the past and raved about you, so don’t—don’t worry about that. You’ve been—sorry you don’t get to hear the petting. But the question is, tell us—tell us a little bit about Wreck.Catherine NewmanYeah, so Wreck...KJ Dell’AntoniaI know, I know, it’s painful. Elevator pitch or whatever you want to say, because seriously, I did just tell everyone about them in the intro.Catherine NewmanI really need an elevator pitch. I feel like We All Want Impossible Things was like a woman whose best friend was dying while she, like, slept with everybody.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, it was joyful.Catherine NewmanThat was easy.KJ Dell’AntoniaAlso sad.Catherine NewmanSandwich was like Cape Cod for a week, reproductive mayhem, sandwich generation. Wreck is so weird because there’s these two sort of very slight plot elements. So it’s, you know, a woman in her mid-50s living in a house with her husband of many years, her daughter, who’s between college and grad school, and her dad, who was fairly recently widowed and in his 90s. And that’s mostly what the book is, but the little plots are that she has a rash—she notices that she has a rash—and it inaugurates this kind of diagnostic tornado. A slow and quiet tornado, but a tornado nonetheless, where she has to see a billion doctors. She has to constantly check her patient portal to see if she’s dying or not, and anyone who’s had—who’s been anything but healthy in the last 10 years will understand the patient portal.KJ Dell’AntoniaYes, I love the checker. I checked a patient portal from a hockey-rink parking lot, and that’s a mistake, just FYI.Catherine NewmanJust don’t...KJ Dell’AntoniaTo anyone considering it, don’t do it on a Friday night. Don’t do that.Catherine NewmanJust don’t even look. And then the other plot point is that there’s an accident—there’s a collision between a car and a train—and a schoolmate of her kids, like someone they went to high school with, is killed in this accident. And she becomes kind of weirdly obsessed with the accident. She looks at it online all the time. She stalks everyone’s...KJ Dell’AntoniaWhich so tracks for the character that you have created.Catherine NewmanDoesn’t it? And that’s it. And so the book sort of is those things unfolding in this parallel way—these uncertain things.KJ Dell’AntoniaSo when you wrote it, what—what was your intention for this? What did you want Wreck to be in your career and for your readers?Catherine NewmanWhat? It’s so funny to be asked questions about my career. I don’t know what I wanted it to be in my career, but maybe while I’m talking to you, I’ll figure that out.KJ Dell’AntoniaOkay.Catherine NewmanOr you can tell me. But for my readers—I do think we’re in this funny place where some of us are hungry to read about the experiences of other menopausal women who are taking care of aging parents, whose nests are emptying, who are in long marriages, who are, you know, doing the things of this age, including tracking weird illnesses. So I guess that—you know, I think, I feel like the thing that I love about writing—one of the things—is when people say to me, like, “Oh yeah, I feel the same way about that,” or they write me and they’re like, “Oh, I read this, and I felt so relieved that I wasn’t alone.” And I guess I have a lot of that hope—you know, that it speaks to someone, or someone’s been in their portal rummaging around and finding out horrible things about their health and Googling them. Like, that’s not a small part of the population who’s probably doing that. So I guess just that—you know, the handout, the “I’m with you on this” vibe.KJ Dell’AntoniaSo what do you love most about it?Catherine Newman(Laughing) I mean, that’s a funny and embarrassing question. I... you know, the father character is based very closely on my own father. Many of the things he says are verbatim lifted from conversations and texts with my dad. And I just love that character so much. I think he’s so funny and has this kind of deep wisdom. I mean, Wreck plays him for laughs a little bit, but he offers so much to her. He’s still this really profound caretaking force in her life, even though he himself, you know, is failing in different ways. So I guess that’s what I like.KJ Dell’AntoniaHow does your dad feel about you taking his stuff?Catherine NewmanHe loved this book.KJ Dell’AntoniaI love this!Catherine NewmanHe has not felt that way always about the way I represent him. I represent him in Sandwich in similar ways, and Sandwich—there were just particular things that bugged him. He loved the book overall but didn’t love his character. I think in this book, maybe because there’s so much of his character, that it gets to be a very well-rounded kind of person, and also somebody whose opinion it’s obvious the other characters respect. So he really loved it, which was, like, everything to me, you know?KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, oh, wow. I’d give a lot for that. That’s—that’s wonderful. I would—it’s... although all my dad ever says is, “Why don’t you—you only write about mothers? You never write...” I’m like, well, I don’t know if you read some of the mothers. You’re kind of lucky. You’re doing okay. I don’t know why—you guys were great. You should have been better fodder for affection, and then I would... yeah. All right. So, okay, so that’s what you love about it. What was the hardest about this?Catherine NewmanIt’s funny—it’s a little hard to talk about without spoilers, but, um, there’s a difficult part of the plot that involves Rocky’s son, who works for a consulting firm in New York, where she really questions his values, questions the decision to do that kind of work.KJ Dell’AntoniaThat would stun me, frankly.Catherine NewmanHowever, he knows a lot about that kind of work, and talked to me a ton about it for the book—like, went on a million walks with me and let me pick his brain about it. And I really just found it so hard to write about this kind of painful conflict between Rocky and her son. I just found it really hard. Yeah...KJ Dell’AntoniaObviously, yeah, that’s actually what you did, wasn’t it?Catherine NewmanI can imagine... that’s it. I imagined it. And honestly, my husband could hardly stand to read it. He found it so devastating. Just—and it’s, as you know, it’s not massive conflict. It’s like...KJ Dell’AntoniaBut it is. It’s...Catherine NewmanBut it is. YepKJ Dell’AntoniaI mean, it’s, you know—Catherine NewmanYep.KJ Dell’AntoniaIt’s it—goes back to Alex Keaton, right? [Unintelligible] Both of us, yeah, yeah, no, I get it. It’s a really—and by writing it, even if it’s not autobiographical, which it’s not, it’s fiction, you are saying something about some compatriots, you know, some other—you’re really, you’re—you’re putting—you’re putting a stake in the ground, which I think has always been pretty obvious for anyone who knows you or has read you, but maybe you had not verbalized even in a fictional form.Catherine NewmanHmm, maybe.KJ Dell’AntoniaCould feel judgmental because—it’s judgmental (whispered). But it’s values. That’s what values do. A value that doesn’t judge anyone isn’t a value, even if you don’t want to judge people. But I think it’s kind of true, like...Catherine NewmanYeah, yeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaYou can also be open. But, I mean, that’s—I don’t know if, if you don’t offer that up, then we’re all just sitting here going, “Oh, it’s fine. It’s all...”Catherine NewmanEverything’s fine.KJ Dell’AntoniaEverything’s fine, it’s fine. That’s a joke in our house, because we had this Spanish exchange student, and he would always say, “Oh, it’s fine,” when—and it—what that meant was, it wasn’t.Catherine NewmanOh no, it wasn’t fine.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, no... that’s what it means when we say, “It’s fine.”Catherine NewmanOh my God, KJ.KJ Dell’AntoniaAll right, so this kind of gets to, I think, my next question, which—which is, what about this was, um, bigger for you? Was a bigger leap to take in your writing?Catherine NewmanIt’s like, you know, I think it’s just a little more plot in a novel than I’ve ever managed. Even though, you know—don’t laugh because there’s not a ton of plot. But nonetheless, there were sort of these two vectors of significant—I thought—dramatic contention that I had to manage in the writing, and—and I was anxious about it. Like, I—I like a quiet story that’s not like—is too plot-driven. But anyway, so that is—it was, you know, I definitely plotted it a little more actively before I wrote it, like I wanted to make sure that these plots were unfolding in the timeframe I wanted them to unfold in.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd did that present some new, like, “Oops, I did this too fast, oops...” just that you hadn’t really had to...?Catherine NewmanNo, because I plotted it. It actually didn’t, but it just presented—before I started writing, I had the challenge of, you know, practically trying to graph these two plots to see where they would intersect, and—and the sort of ways that the two plots together create this kind of character arc for Rocky, the main character. And so I was—I just, like—I usually, I have this way that I plot stuff, and it’s kind of based on that book that I use because of you, which is like, you know, Put On Your Pants—or Take Off Your Pants, or, you know, the book...KJ Dell’AntoniaOh yeah, oh yeah.Catherine NewmanAnd—and I, so I do this thing where I make a—I write down the numbers 1 to 25, and I print that. I print a piece of paper that has the numbers 1 through 25 in type font. I don’t know why I don’t just hand-write the whole thing. That—and I guess the thought’s how many chapters it’s going to be, but it’s never quite right. And then I fill in what I know. So I put in everything I know, and guess where it’s going to go in terms of the—what are the things? What’s it called when it’s like a thing...?KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, the... the turning point or the...Catherine NewmanOr the beat...KJ Dell’AntoniaOr the moment of last resolve? Yeah, the beat!Catherine NewmanYeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah.Catherine NewmanSo I fill in everything, like, I know, you know. I have a sense of how it’s going to open. I have a sense of the different elements of the two plots, and I put them in this weird numbered-chapter thing. And usually—like, usually as if I’ve written so many books—but with the other two novels, I did that a little willy-nilly, and it was fine. Like, I sat down and wrote the books beginning to end without all of it totally sorted in terms of where everything would go, and that was fine. This book, I really had to understand where it was all going to go, so I had to just be sure that all of the most important plot points were plotted in that 1-through-25.KJ Dell’AntoniaDo you? I mean, you have a lot of moving emotional pieces too. Asking for a friend—how do you make sure that those are all resolved? Or do you? Or does it just happen?Catherine NewmanThat’s a really good question. I hope they’re resolved, or if they’re not, that that’s intentional, by the way. Yeah, I—I’m just thinking about, like, the different relationships. You know, most of what the book is, is like Rocky’s relationships with the people she loves—like, that is sort of the heart of the book. And then her grappling with herself, both physically and psychologically. I think I have a sense of those. Those are kind of included in those. I have, like, a—in that 1-through-25— sorry if this is too granular.KJ Dell’AntoniaNo, I love it.Catherine NewmanIn the 1-through-25, I have the plot thing that’s like, “Rocky reads her biopsy results,” or, you know, whatever the thing is. And then I have this other column that’s like, the other things that need to happen in that chapter, if that’s what’s happening in the chapter. And that’s where I keep information about stuff that’s like, “Willa forgives her,” you know—whatever other thing needs to happen. So I sort of track the plot, and then I—and I also have a little other column that’s just like, seasonal details. And that I don’t fill out super carefully, but, like, because this book moves from essentially Labor Day to New Year’s, I—I just tracked a little before I started writing, like, around when in that season things were going to be happening, you know, that’s Halloween, it’s Thanksgiving, it’s the winter holidays, New Year’s, and then it’s going to be, like, the leaves are turning, the blackberries that, you know?KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, no, it’s so hard. Is it Tuesday? Like...?Catherine NewmanYeah (laughing).KJ Dell’AntoniaDang it. Oh, wait—if its four days from the first day, and the first day was a Thursday, that means its Sunday, and Sundays do have a particular rhythm on their own. And yeah, no, it’s so hard.Catherine NewmanIt’s really hard, although that part’s my favorite part, probably—besides, I love dialogue. But I love—I keep a lot of notes that are really dull on their own about, like, the weather and the landscape, just in general. I don’t even know what I’m going to use them for. I just keep a ton of notes about the seasons. And I love pilfering stuff for fiction from them because it’s just like—it’s going to be fairly accurate. Like, I will have dated it. I’ll have a fairly strong sense of whether that will work or not.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, you’re not going to put the blackberries in April.Catherine NewmanAnd I’m not going to put the blackberries in April, and I have that cheater feeling of chunking in something I’ve already kind of written down, and then your word count goes up by, like, 300 words.KJ Dell’AntoniaYou’re like, hey... [Unintelligible].Catherine NewmanYeah, exactly.KJ Dell’AntoniaOh my gosh, I love this. All right, well, one last question, and that is—what have you read recently where you felt like the writer was really, you know, playing big, doing their very max?Catherine NewmanYeah, I just read—well, I just got it in the mail, although my kitten—I want to show you, she has, like...KJ Dell’AntoniaShe had some fun with it...Catherine NewmanChewed up every corner.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah.Catherine NewmanSo this book is A Truce That Is Not Peace by Miriam Toews. And she is a very, very favorite writer of mine. She wrote the novel All My Puny Sorrows that I always press on everybody, because it’s like the perfect funny, sad novel. This book I got to blurb, so I read it a while ago, and it just came—and I think it just came out maybe this week, I’m not sure. It’s so incredibly good. It’s really strange—someone—she’s doing some conference in Mexico, and she has to write an answer to the question, “Why do I write?”KJ Dell’AntoniaOkay.Catherine NewmanAnd she keeps starting and stopping, and it’s so—it’s nonfiction. I mean, it’s just authentically this, and she includes, like, letters to her sister. Her sister killed herself some number of years ago, and that’s the event that All My Puny Sorrows—which is a novel—is based on. But this, I am under the impression that’s the first time she’s written about it...KJ Dell’AntoniaIn a nonfiction way—yeah.Catherine NewmanIn a nonfiction way. And it is just—I did that thing, you know, when a book is so good? I picked it up because I knew I was going to talk to you about it, and then I read it for, like, an hour.KJ Dell’AntoniaYeah, no, I get it.Catherine NewmanEven though I have, like, already read it. It’s so moving and beautiful and so—like, she’s just struggling in this, like, really profound way to process loss and to understand herself and what she’s created in the world. And it’s so good.KJ Dell’AntoniaIt sounds huge, and I would—yeah, I’m going to pick it up. I have a funny story about All My Puny Sorrows, which is that I took it to Spain while I was waiting for one of those patient-portal things. I had cancer at the time, and that’s—the character of the sister who wanted to kill herself made me so angry that I had to hide—not only did I have to leave the book behind, I had to hide it in the hotel so it would not juju me. I obviously survived, because this was, I think, seven or eight years ago. But I couldn’t—like, I just—it was... but that actually speaks to the power of the book.Catherine NewmanInteresting... yeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaIt’s not that it wasn’t an amazing book. It was that I literally couldn’t handle the particular, you know, mental illness that the sister was struggling with when I, you know, did not really want to die. Did not want to die, yeah. So I...Catherine NewmanThat’s amazing... yeah.KJ Dell’AntoniaShe’s a really powerful writer.Catherine NewmanThat—that is a really powerful story. Wait, were you going to share with me a book? Or it doesn’t work that way?KJ Dell’AntoniaWell, it doesn’t...Catherine NewmanKJ looks around...KJ Dell’AntoniaBecause I did not prepare.Catherine NewmanWhat are you writing, KJ? What are you working on? What’s happening?KJ Dell’AntoniaAll right, we’re going to call this as an episode.Catherine Newman(Laughing)KJ Dell’AntoniaBecause it was excellent, and then I’m going to answer Catherine’s question, which all of you listeners kind of vaguely know. Let’s just say I’m trying to play big. All right, so this is me ending with: thank you so much, Catherine Newman, for joining me on the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast.Catherine NewmanThank you, KJ; it was a pleasure, as always.KJ Dell’AntoniaAnd for all you listeners, we’re still saying it—keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game.NarratorThe Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work.Subscribe to back the show that backs your writing life This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
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  • How Writers Play Small Without Even Realizing It (Ep 2)
    In this episode, Jennie digs into the sneaky ways writers “play small”—circling endlessly around an idea, polishing the same chapters, getting lost in research, or waiting for perfect timing instead of taking real action. With stories from her years as a book coach, including one writer who finally broke free from years of fear and went on to become a full-time author, Jennie shows how smallness hides behind busyness and perfectionism. She challenges you to spot where you’re holding back and take the courageous step toward playing big.Transcript Below!#AmWriting: A Groupstack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.SPONSORSHIP MESSAGEHey, this is Jennie Nash, and I wanted to invite you to check out my Substack newsletter, The Art & Business of Book Coaching. It’s totally free unless you choose to support me, and it’s secretly really great for writers. The reason is that book coaches are in the business of helping writers do their best work. So I’m always talking about writer mindset and things like helping a writer find their structure or find an agent or find their position in the marketplace. If you’re considering investing in having somebody help you, it’s a great way to get prepared to know who you might want to pick and what you might want to ask of them. You’ll get an inside peek at the way that the people who are in the business of helping writers think about writers, and so in that way, it can help you become a better writer just by tuning in. I have a lot of writers following me over there, so if you’re interested, come check it out you can find it at substack.com/@JennieNash. That’s substack.com/@JennieNash, and it’s J-E-N-N-I-E.EPISODE TRANSCRIPTHi, I’m Jennie Nash, and you’re listening to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast. This is a Write Big Session, where I’m bringing you short episodes about the mindset shifts that help you stop playing small and write like it matters.Today, we’re talking about playing small—and what exactly it is—because playing small is sneaky. Writers are not going around saying, “I want to hold myself back,” or, “I’m giving in to my fear,” or, “I’m making decisions to protect myself.” Instead, they tell themselves that they’re being realistic.Maybe they think that they need more training, or they need to take more courses, or they need to take more time. But as a book coach, I see the same patterns over and over again in writers playing small — and this is what it looks like.It’s this person, who I don’t see very often, but whenever I do see them—maybe once or twice a year—they always tell me that they’re circling around the idea of writing a book. It’s the same book that they’ve been circling around all these years, and they feel compelled to tell me that they’re still thinking about it—they’re still just about to do that someday, when they have time.The smallness comes in never even starting.I also think of the writer who polishes the same three chapters over and over again until they just shine brightly and there’s not one single, solitary thing wrong with them. But that writer never moves forward with their draft. They never actually get to the point where they’re going to finish, and then have to decide how to revise that book, or whether to take it out into the world, or even show it to anyone. They just noodle around with those same chapters in this endless loop of procrastination.So again, it’s not taking action.You also see this with nonfiction writers, or memoir writers, or sci-fi writers—where they focus incredibly deeply on their world-building or their research, and they have copious notes and spreadsheets and all kinds of information that they’re gathering so that, when they’re ready to write, they’ll have all this info—but they never actually get ready to write. They just stay stuck in the loop of research.Perhaps the most poignant story I have of a writer playing small comes from a conference that I went to many years ago. I met this writer who had been going to the same conference for about five years, and she was getting ready to pitch. She actually had come to me in a kind of speed-dating situation, where you worked with an expert to get your pitch ready before you went in to the agents to pitch, and I thought her pitch was really good. I thought her material was really good, and we worked on tweaking it a little bit.And then I said, you know, had she ever pitched before? Was this her first time? And she said, “No, I’ve been coming to this conference all these years, and I’ve been pitching every year.”And I said, “Well, what happened all those years?” And she said that each one of those years, she had agents request to send in her manuscript. She had this collection of agents who were waiting for her manuscript, and she had never sent it to them because she didn’t think that it was ready.She kept coming to the conference, kept going to these pitches, kept getting requests, and never sending the manuscript in. She thought that she would continue to work on it—to make it as good as it could be—before she took that leap and sent those pitches in.And surely my mouth hung open in shock, because this just seemed so sad to me—and a perfect example of playing small. And so, instead of working on her pitch, I used my time with her to work on her mindset and to help her try to find and tap into that bravery to, this year, actually do it—to actually send the work in. And maybe go back to those agents from years past and send it to them as well. Sometimes there’s a period of time when the agents will still welcome those pitches—or not.But the point was, it was time for her to get out there and pitch, without a doubt. And after that conference, she did, in fact, get more requests to submit—and she did submit—and now, all these years later, she’s a very successful writer. She’s actually working on her third series. She is a full-time writer. She’s made the leap to be that, which is a thing so many people want to be.It was just one moment of fear that she had to get over. And I said in the last episode that playing big rarely happens in one moment — but sometimes it does. Sometimes it’s literally just hitting the send key and saying, “Okay, I’m doing this. I’m putting it out there.” And that’s what this writer needed to do to make that shift from playing small to playing big.It’s very easy to just stay busy with our writing—to stay productive—and to never do the work that’s actually going to get us the thing we want. Playing small often looks like busyness or it looks like waiting for permission—waiting for more time, for perfect pages, for someone else to open the door and welcome us in.But this is just another form of hiding. Playing small means not stepping forward. It means not sending that pitch, not finishing the draft, not carving out the time to do the work, and constantly coming up with reasons why it’s not happening.So the reflection I want to leave you with today is to think about where you know you’re playing small—and where you know you need to shine the light of courage and bravery in order to make that shift and play big.The place where you’re playing small is probably glaringly obvious to you, so you probably know. And I would encourage you to write it down so you can look at it—maybe share it. Everything is better when it’s shared and brought into the light.And once you do that, you can take action toward making the shift and playing big. Until next time, stop playing small and write like it matters.NarratorThe Hashtag AmWriting Podcast is produced by Andrew Perrella. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work.#AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe
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