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The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt

Carol Murphy
The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt
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  • Episode 43: I Wanna Be Your Amphibious Robotic Dog & Make Me Music
    I howl like the wolf with excitement because next week I’ll be hovering around Galway at the Film Fleadh and following in the heels of the artist and screenwriter Carol Murphy who is pitching THE BODY & BLOOD, a gothic horror feature film based on my life at THE PITCHING COMPETITION on Sunday 13th at The Galmont Hotel, and it is horrific, believe me, from the sublime to the ridiculous, to the horrific to the cannibalistic. Yeeoooo…so if you are around and about, check it out, kick off is 1200…and I’ll be hovering around in the ether with my eye on the lot o’y’uns. Yes that’s me Maggie Murtagh AKA The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, but for the time being, I’m here, for another episode of The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt comedy horror and sci fi podcast, where each week I read two letters from my mail bag full of the fetid shenanigans of my horror and sci fi freak Esque listeners out there, asking for help on an emotional level, because that is where the rot starts, isn’t it? Then I read one or two so that we can all have a laugh at said writer’s expense and for our collective pleasure. Welcome to EPISODE 43: I WANNA BE YOUR AMPHIBIOUS ROBOTIC DOG & MAKE ME MUSIC.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comMIT - https://www.mit.eduBOT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_botGALWAY FILM FLEADH - https://www.galwayfilmfleadh.comPITCHING COMPETITION - https://www.galwayfilmfleadh.com/project/pitching-competition/IGGY POP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iggy_PopTHE STOOGES - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_StoogesSNOOP DOGG- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snoop_DoggNEURAL RESONANCE THEORY - https://www.qmul.ac.uk/eecs/news-and-events/news/items/groundbreaking-research-reveals-how-the-brain-turns-sound-into-music.htmlLOSE YOURSELF TO DANCE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lose_Yourself_to_Dance
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  • Episode 42: BOTS
    I howl like the wolf in pleasure because I’m about to conjugate a new verb. To Bot. I bot, You Bot, He She It bots, We You They bot. Yes, this is what we are looking at today, the life and loves of the bot. And not as in….he has a gorgeous bot…but as in the machines that are seemingly making our lives easier will, in the end, be shagging our wives, lovers and husbands. I howl because I’m excited to be at the apex of my game as The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt to all you fetid horror and sci fi freaks who crossed so many lines so long ago that you can no longer read the signs especially when you vomit around the time you poison your neighbour. Yes, that is a sign that you are no longer doing good to yourself or anyone else. And I know you quite like the taste of it, but that does not mean that it is right. But who cares about right and wrong? the system is not always rigged to work in your favour, so why should you abide by it? Instead, you can write to me with your tales of trouble and yet lookee here, you are the victim, yip, narcissists are welcome too. I’ll read your letters to the underworld and the converted, and we can all have a good old laugh at the fact that there are no answers, only misguided suggestions that usually lead to all kinds of wrong. We are the blind leading the blind and loving the bloody mess. Welcome to Episode 42: BOTS.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.com28 YEARS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Years_Later28 DAYS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Days_LaterJACK DRAPER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_DraperMEDITATIONS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MeditationsMIT - https://www.mit.eduBOT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_botSUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK BLUES by Bob Dylan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subterranean_Homesick_BluesPARIS COMMUNE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_CommuneGLACIAL ICE PIRATE - https://www.leeds.ac.uk/research-32/news/article/5774/satellites-observe-glacier-committing-ice-piracyCHIMPANZEE DRUM CLUB - https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/may/09/chimpanzees-rhythmic-drumming-music-evolutionary-roots
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  • Episode 41: Celebate Psychopath & A Million Rivets.
    I howl like the wolf because that is what I do and part of who I am. Animals shake trauma off after they’ve been attacked by a tiger or a lion or a sloth, whereas I howl like the wolf to SHAKE IT OFF mark out my territory, stay in position, I mean where else is there to go when you’re in limbo, with nothing but your memories of eating the colonizers back in the Irish Famine. Those were the days. I howl to prepare me for the PRIVILEGE of reading your letters, yes, the ones sent in by my horror and sci fi low life to see if I am help them out of their self-sabotaged to the death drama’s whilst at the same time, giving you all a laugh at their expense and for our pleasure. Welcome to Episode 41: Celebate Psychopath & A Million Rivets.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comJ G BALLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardRADIO 4 - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live/bbc_radio_fourfmIN OUR TIME - https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qyklKING BILLY - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_III_of_England28 YEARS LATER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Years_Later
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  • Episode 40: Bitter Perfection & Precision Violence
    I howl like the wolf because I need. And no matter how I try, I can’t stop needing. I’m also worried that if I stop needing, I will lose my raison d’etre, and that’s a lot of raisons, reasons and raisons, and really saying something what with being stuck in limbo with only a fraction of a newt’s breath of a chance of getting into heaven, and even that perturbs me. What am I going to do there without need? No longing to both cripple and indulge my emotions. In fact, or so the story goes, I won’t have emotions, just peace, which to me sounds a lot like being a product without a soul. What will occupy my mind, ie the mind of the obsessed and the addicted? Speaking to all you horror and Sci Fi Fans out there. One genre crossing out the other out. Always in a dichotomy of tension and contradiction. We strive, don’t we, to fulfill the promise, the potential of the greatness our life could be. And in that promise, we think the future’ll be bright in its lack of want, when all our desires are satiated. But to be honest, we are addicted to not having. Whatever the original fissure, probably in childhood, it has left a big bucket of need, so big that when you look inside you cannot see the edges, the corners, or the rot. And we cling onto it, because if we don’t, if we put it down, we’ll be crippled by our pain and by what we think is the banal and the ordinary. In other words, no matter how dreadful all of your problems are, sweet listeners and horror and SCI FI miscreants, from across time and space, I’m telling you that you love them, indeed, what would you do without them? And what would we do without our reciprocal feed on them. So keep on keeping on, let’s spoil for a bit of a game of combinations and permutations of mutual self-torment and see how it all lands. What larks. Keep on sending in your tales of want, panic, fear, self-loathing, murder, torture, haunting, future dystopia and general misanthropy. Unzip your throat and pull out your most rancid of egos and slap it on the table like the random access memory you pretended to forget and as your friendly neighbourhood Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt I will see how I can help clean out your proverbial cobwebs, not with bleach, but with a feather duster that just redistributes filth rather that getting to the root cause. Welcome to Episode 40: Bitter Perfection & Precision Violence. REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comJ G BALLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardBOOTS by Rudyard Kipling https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_(poem)
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  • Episode 39: Mixed Messages & Royally Shanked
    I howl like the wolf because I am one-dimensional and I cling onto that formal, often traditional, sequence of actions or words performed in a specific order, often associated with religious or cultural significance for dear life, or death, seeing as I am in limbo which is like a desert island without the hope or sting ray jelly fish. You take the rough with the smooth. So take or leave the howling, hi. I ain’t stopping. But, seeing as I am bored out of my skull, I’m the perfect candidate to guide you through the perils and challenges of your life and horror misdemeanours as your very own Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt, speaking from my comedy horror podcast. I am ready. I am willing. And I am suitably stuffed to take on the emotional problems sent in by my horror and sci fi litter of listeners from across time and space so that I can salvage the un-heaven sent. Bring it on, throw something, anything at me and I’ll see what kind of explosive dart I can throw back. Welcome to Episode 39: Mixed Messages & Royally Shanked. REFERENCES CAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comBRING THE PAIN by Method Man - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0BlXy3Roj4SON OF SAM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_BerkowitzROSEMARY WEST - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_WestJ G BAlLARD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._BallardMOUNT ETNA - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Etna
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About The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt

The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, reads two letters from our emotionally ill-fettered listeners, salivates over their problems, and vomits up solutions, at their expense and for everyone else’s pleasure. The Vigilante Cannibal Nun is a sin eater, well equipped to solve a little emotional problem or two, with victims sending in their letters from across time and space, cutting through all categories of Horror and SCI FI genre. Each episode is roughly 10 minutes in length. Who is The Vigilante Cannibal Nun? Maggie Murtagh, otherwise known as The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, was born of the imagination of the artist Carol Murphy. Her story is told in a series of Murphy’s verse-driven performance films called The Body & Blood, launched here at the beginning of 2022 and performed in a UK and Irish theatre tour in 2023. In The Body & Blood, Maggie Murtagh is a young Irish Country Girl who transmogrifies into The Vigilante Cannibal Nun during the Irish Famine, after the death of her family. She steals from the rich to give to the starving poor, eats the colonisers, and destroys her soul. She is the living dead.
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