The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, rea...
Episode 19: Purgatorial Curtains & How To Maintain a Tidy Limbo
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from the cesspool of iniquity that all you horror and sci fi fans are dwelling whether that’s in or out of your mind, the future, past, present, or in a medieval sponging house - I get all sorts - cutting across time and space to send me their problems in the hope that I won’t laugh and will indeed give them solutions to one particular problem only to walk into a multitude more. It’s like the asbestos in the talc - you’re never going to solve that problem and yet it smells so good. So let it roll, like God’s wheel, and plan for the next disaster! But don’t expect perfection. Where’s the fun in that? Mess. That is what you want. Order. Disorder. Order. Disorder. SLEDGEHAMMER. Rancid bleeding guilt. Order. Disorder. Order. Disorder. And on it goes. That’s the way it works. Get jiggy with it. HOW, HI? Let’s find out. I get problem letters from people thinking that I - The vigilante Cannibal Nun - have the wherewithal to advise them seeing as I am the living dead, living in limbo, having eaten half of the colonizers in Ireland during the FAMINE, thinking I was saving the population only to discover that I had destroyed my soul. Go figure. They mistake my craziness for courage, and I can’t be bothered explaining that I haven’t a clue about what I do or say. But I’m willing to give it a shot. And on that note, welcome to Episode 19: Purgatorial Curtains AND How To Maintain A Tidy Paranormal Limbo. And I think that deserves a howl or a barf. So here we go.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD –https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM -https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comSLEDGEHAMMER by Peter Gabriel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sledgehammer_(Peter_Gabriel_song)DUNHELM - https://www.dunelm.comHOBBYCRAFT - https://www.hobbycraft.co.ukPIG PEN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig-PenCHARLIE BROWN -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_BrownJOHN LIST -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_List_(murderer)ARGOS - https://www.argos.co.ukTHE RITZ - https://www.theritzlondon.com
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Episode 18: Love is Dead & The Spell
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our perennially horror-stricken gaggle of fake paranormal found footage limbo freaks to find a solution to their nihilistic but loving it problems, whilst sending them on a ghost ship into the wilds of their pain-stained psyches to accept the fact that it is ok to be dull. No!!! They cry. Not dull, ehhh banal. Ok, phew, that’s better. What about abject? A new trajectory? That work? Oh yes, definitely. None of it makes any sense but as long as the prognosis is sexy, they don’t care, and neither do I. And I am. They just want to be seen, heard, and contextualized romantically, otherwise known as, lied to. Give me lies. Good and bad. I don’t want the truth. No one wants to be ordinary. All I have to do is lie to ease them through the pain of nothingness and fill it with generic crap, before I laugh behind their back and glean all the best parts of their desolation for my stand-up comedy routine - which isn’t funny. The proof is in the demonic pudding or vacuum cleaner. But I am here and that is the main thing, addressing the Horror and SCI FI woes from across time and space, giving my penny’s worth to advise the bleeding, insane, horror-infested and wretched. Welcome to Episode 18: Love Is Dead & The Spell.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM -https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comGUY MANNERING by Sir Walter Scott -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_ManneringROSEMARY FERGUSON –https://www.anothermag.com/art-photography/12031/corinne-day-iconic-90s-fashion-photography-shot-in-soho-photographers-galleryCORRINE DAY –https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corinne_DayTHE FACE -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Face_(magazine)FINGERS by James Toback -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fingers_(1978_film)OH COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Come,_All_Ye_FaithfulTHE SECRET LIFE OF ORANGUTANS on NetflixTIGER KIDNAP -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_kidnapping
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Episode 17: 10 Ways To End The Christmas Silly Season And Fall Back Down To Banality
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this Comedy Horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our brood of bloody pretendarian vampires, soul suckers, and time-traveling PHD students who fail to make the grade and then write their winging letters to me so that I can make their conditions infinitely better or worse. The difference is negligible in this fatally efficient machine called having a banal life. Welcome to Episode 17: 10 WAYS TO END THE CHRISTMAS SILLY SEASON AND FALL BACK DOWN TO BANALITY. Who needs tinsel when you sleep with your favourite mummified anxiety disorder EVERY NIGHT? That is if you get any. Sleep that is.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comCHAKA KHAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaka_KhanI’M EVERY WOMAN by Chaka Khan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_Every_WomanPRINCE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_(musician)RUFUS AND CHAKA KHAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rufus_(band)POLTERGEIST - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poltergeist_(1982_film)PRAYING MANTIS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis
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Episode 16: New Year’s Resolutions for Zombies
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our perpetually discomforted collective noun of listeners to find a solution to their sadomasochistic flip-flop personalities, whilst sending them on time travel back to the Spanish Inquisition to be keel hauled or to the horror version of the Sack of Rome to be shot. Their choice. Welcome to Episode 16: New Year’s Resolutions for Zombies. Let’s get real for a second and admit that we are all walking backward, blindfolded, in and out of our own existence with only ten to twelve commodity fetishes to ease our pain, my favourite being the crimper that I use on my hair to delude myself that I look like Kate Bush circa 1979. WOW indeed.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comWOW by Kate Bush - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow_(Kate_Bush_song)HAPPY CHRISTMAS (WAR IS OVER) by John Lennon & Yoko Ono - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo_Aax_2oF0NEW YEAR’S DAY BY U2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeYCyCaK_5kIN MY SOLITUDE by Lange / Ellington / Mills - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/(In_My)_SolitudeJANUARY, SICK AND TIRED OF YOU HANGING ON ME by Pilot - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdcrTUcdO0Q
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Episode 15: Top 10 Tips on How To Deal With Your Narcissistic Parents Over Christmas
I howl like the wolf because I am your host ofthis comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our horror listeners, to find a solution to their wind up merchant debacles and then laugh at their expense and for the pleasure of all Santa’s vampire reindeers, paranormal wives and demonic elves put together whilst gurning for the film of my life that is running in my head but not in a cinema near you any time soon. Welcome to Episode 15: TOP 10 TIPS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR NARCISSISTIC PARENTS OVER CHRISTMAS…that’s the one….yes, we are talking about the parents who really shouldn’t have had you or any of your brothers or sisters in their game of a psychologically horrific marriage that they call home, on this Christmas Eve, the day before what is probably the worst day of the year for y’uns. But I am here to help, and you know my motto. When you are truly miserable and at the end of your tether, prepare for a dystopian hell to come so that your present condition will feel like stinging agony by comparison. And if that makes sense to you, then you are truly screwed from this Christmas forward.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD –https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM -https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comOH HOLY NIGHT -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Holy_NightHARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hark!_The_Herald_Angels_SingBREAKING BAD -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_BadBRYAN CRANSTON -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_CranstonVIDEODROME -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VideodromeCLIFFS OF MOHER -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cliffs_of_Moher
The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, reads two letters from our emotionally ill-fettered listeners, salivates over their problems, and vomits up solutions, at their expense and for everyone else’s pleasure. The Vigilante Cannibal Nun is a sin eater, well equipped to solve a little emotional problem or two, with victims sending in their letters from across time and space, cutting through all categories of Horror and SCI FI genre. Each episode is roughly 10 minutes in length.
Who is The Vigilante Cannibal Nun? Maggie Murtagh, otherwise known as The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, was born of the imagination of the artist Carol Murphy. Her story is told in a series of Murphy’s verse-driven performance films called The Body & Blood, launched here at the beginning of 2022 and performed in a UK and Irish theatre tour in 2023. In The Body & Blood, Maggie Murtagh is a young Irish Country Girl who transmogrifies into The Vigilante Cannibal Nun during the Irish Famine, after the death of her family. She steals from the rich to give to the starving poor, eats the colonisers, and destroys her soul. She is the living dead.