The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, rea...
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from the physical receptacle that stores sewage, filth and my fan’s thoughts, desires and fetid nightmares, then mock and deride their problems, at their expense and for the pleasure of every speck of dust in the Milky Way which will in time, as in millions of years, be the likes of you and me. And time is on my side, being in limbo as your favourite Vigilante Cannibal Nun Agony Aunt. I mean, who else can you turn to when your problems are as demonic and disturbing as yours? And here they are put to good use, because we are all in desperate need of a joke or five. Welcome to Episode 21: Fannystown & Hip-Hop Genius Parasite.Feb but not fab or Feb up already? What happened to January? Time is like rolling thunder without the thunder and certainly without the bells and whistles. Shrug of shoulders. I was not born to be loved. Just thought I’d throw that one in for effect or is it affect. Life is too long and boring to start with that one. Fun. A bit o’ sauce. Laughter. That is what we need and so let’s get cracking. Because I am here to solve two horror and SCI FI emotional problem letters, sent in by fans, in less than 10 minutes…and here we go.So, our first letter today is from Sinead in Fannystown in Wexford circa 1955 who just asks WHY was I born in this Bastard’s town? To which I replied, it’s not Bastardstown. That’s 16.5 kilometres away and has a nice beach. You just have the shame and relief that you weren’t born in slut’s end. Moving swiftly along and away from all the cheap gags without a horror reference in sight. And our second letter is from Peter, from mid 70’s Bronx who says I have swallowed a hip hop genius parasite from a frozen steak that I undercooked. It has taken over my body man and is breaking beats like there’s no tomorrow.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comTHE MILKY WAY - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milky_WayHIP-HOP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hip-hopPARASITE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ParasitismTHE FINAL GIRL - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_girlOCD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive–compulsive_disorderFANNYSTOWN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_townlands_of_County_WexfordBASTARDSTOWN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_townlands_of_County_WexfordBREAK DANCING - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BreakdancingBRONX - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_BronxTOMMY COOPER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_CooperBALLYHALBERT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BallyhalbertREDDIT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RedditALICE SPRINGS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Springs
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Episode 20: The Final Girl & OCD Killer
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from my red-blooded hoard of psychopathic horror and SCI FI fans to find a fake solution to their sadistic fantasies, whilst sending them on an odyssey as far away from me as possible, preferably into the wilds of The Antarctic to dig for oil. Someone’s got to do it. Welcome to episode 20 The Final Girl & OCD Killer.Each week I solve two Horror and SCI FI emotional problems, sent in by my fans, in less than 10 minutes. So, forget about your two-tone aspirations to have a life of genuine happiness or fasting on a yoga holiday retreat because, get this, you will always be bloated. Just accept it. Clothes never feel right on you, but we all know that naked and blood thirsty wearing nothing, but a dicky bow is a better look.Our first letter today is from Sydney from Milwalkee circa 1975 who says I am tired of being The Final Girl.And our second letter is from Noah from Belgium circa 1960 who hasn’t come out of the shower in two years, but managed to write to me whilst holding the pen with his teeth, the only thing left hard, apart from his thoughts, and one more thing besides, to ask, when can I go back to my slasher days of old? I am in hell. It is wet.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comJIM’LL FIX IT - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim%27ll_Fix_ItI LIKE TRUCKING - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_the_Nine_O%27Clock_NewsCREEP by Radiohead - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creep_(Radiohead_song)BASTARDSTOWN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_townlands_of_County_WexfordOCD - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive–compulsive_disorderSERIAL KILLA by Snoop Dogg - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MElq9s-Hj1AFANNYSTOWN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_townlands_of_County_WexfordTOMMY COOPER - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_CooperDRIVE FOR SHOW PUTT FOR DOUGH - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Locke
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Episode 19: Purgatorial Curtains & How To Maintain a Tidy Limbo
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from the cesspool of iniquity that all you horror and sci fi fans are dwelling whether that’s in or out of your mind, the future, past, present, or in a medieval sponging house - I get all sorts - cutting across time and space to send me their problems in the hope that I won’t laugh and will indeed give them solutions to one particular problem only to walk into a multitude more. It’s like the asbestos in the talc - you’re never going to solve that problem and yet it smells so good. So let it roll, like God’s wheel, and plan for the next disaster! But don’t expect perfection. Where’s the fun in that? Mess. That is what you want. Order. Disorder. Order. Disorder. SLEDGEHAMMER. Rancid bleeding guilt. Order. Disorder. Order. Disorder. And on it goes. That’s the way it works. Get jiggy with it. HOW, HI? Let’s find out. I get problem letters from people thinking that I - The vigilante Cannibal Nun - have the wherewithal to advise them seeing as I am the living dead, living in limbo, having eaten half of the colonizers in Ireland during the FAMINE, thinking I was saving the population only to discover that I had destroyed my soul. Go figure. They mistake my craziness for courage, and I can’t be bothered explaining that I haven’t a clue about what I do or say. But I’m willing to give it a shot. And on that note, welcome to Episode 19: Purgatorial Curtains AND How To Maintain A Tidy Paranormal Limbo. And I think that deserves a howl or a barf. So here we go.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD –https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM -https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comSLEDGEHAMMER by Peter Gabriel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sledgehammer_(Peter_Gabriel_song)DUNHELM - https://www.dunelm.comHOBBYCRAFT - https://www.hobbycraft.co.ukPIG PEN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig-PenCHARLIE BROWN -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_BrownJOHN LIST -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_List_(murderer)ARGOS - https://www.argos.co.ukTHE RITZ - https://www.theritzlondon.com
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Episode 18: Love is Dead & The Spell
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this comedy horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our perennially horror-stricken gaggle of fake paranormal found footage limbo freaks to find a solution to their nihilistic but loving it problems, whilst sending them on a ghost ship into the wilds of their pain-stained psyches to accept the fact that it is ok to be dull. No!!! They cry. Not dull, ehhh banal. Ok, phew, that’s better. What about abject? A new trajectory? That work? Oh yes, definitely. None of it makes any sense but as long as the prognosis is sexy, they don’t care, and neither do I. And I am. They just want to be seen, heard, and contextualized romantically, otherwise known as, lied to. Give me lies. Good and bad. I don’t want the truth. No one wants to be ordinary. All I have to do is lie to ease them through the pain of nothingness and fill it with generic crap, before I laugh behind their back and glean all the best parts of their desolation for my stand-up comedy routine - which isn’t funny. The proof is in the demonic pudding or vacuum cleaner. But I am here and that is the main thing, addressing the Horror and SCI FI woes from across time and space, giving my penny’s worth to advise the bleeding, insane, horror-infested and wretched. Welcome to Episode 18: Love Is Dead & The Spell.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM -https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comGUY MANNERING by Sir Walter Scott -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_ManneringROSEMARY FERGUSON –https://www.anothermag.com/art-photography/12031/corinne-day-iconic-90s-fashion-photography-shot-in-soho-photographers-galleryCORRINE DAY –https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corinne_DayTHE FACE -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Face_(magazine)FINGERS by James Toback -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fingers_(1978_film)OH COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Come,_All_Ye_FaithfulTHE SECRET LIFE OF ORANGUTANS on NetflixTIGER KIDNAP -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_kidnapping
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Episode 17: 10 Ways To End The Christmas Silly Season And Fall Back Down To Banality
I howl like the wolf because I am your host of this Comedy Horror SCI FI podcast, where, every Tuesday, I read two letters from our brood of bloody pretendarian vampires, soul suckers, and time-traveling PHD students who fail to make the grade and then write their winging letters to me so that I can make their conditions infinitely better or worse. The difference is negligible in this fatally efficient machine called having a banal life. Welcome to Episode 17: 10 WAYS TO END THE CHRISTMAS SILLY SEASON AND FALL BACK DOWN TO BANALITY. Who needs tinsel when you sleep with your favourite mummified anxiety disorder EVERY NIGHT? That is if you get any. Sleep that is.REFERENCESCAROL MURPHY -https://www.instagram.com/thevigilantecannibalnun/THE BODY & BLOOD – https://www.thebodyandblood.co.ukGHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.comCHAKA KHAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaka_KhanI’M EVERY WOMAN by Chaka Khan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_Every_WomanPRINCE - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_(musician)RUFUS AND CHAKA KHAN - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rufus_(band)POLTERGEIST - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poltergeist_(1982_film)PRAYING MANTIS - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis
The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt is a fictional comedy horror SCI FI podcast. Every Tuesday, your host, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, the living dead, reads two letters from our emotionally ill-fettered listeners, salivates over their problems, and vomits up solutions, at their expense and for everyone else’s pleasure. The Vigilante Cannibal Nun is a sin eater, well equipped to solve a little emotional problem or two, with victims sending in their letters from across time and space, cutting through all categories of Horror and SCI FI genre. Each episode is roughly 10 minutes in length.
Who is The Vigilante Cannibal Nun? Maggie Murtagh, otherwise known as The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, was born of the imagination of the artist Carol Murphy. Her story is told in a series of Murphy’s verse-driven performance films called The Body & Blood, launched here at the beginning of 2022 and performed in a UK and Irish theatre tour in 2023. In The Body & Blood, Maggie Murtagh is a young Irish Country Girl who transmogrifies into The Vigilante Cannibal Nun during the Irish Famine, after the death of her family. She steals from the rich to give to the starving poor, eats the colonisers, and destroys her soul. She is the living dead.
South Africa