GIRLBLOGGER: THE PODCAST

MADISON SQUARE F**KING GARDEN?! Where will their honeymoon be? At The Sphere in Vegas?? This episode contains a lot of complaints and criticisms about a certain celebrity wedding that recently occurred in NYC. However, before I bitch about that, I have a little Lindsay Lohan update. Not only is our girl 40, but there is also a Parent Trap sequel in development. My feelings on this are mixed, but excited for Lindsay, nevertheless. After the Lindsay news, I really lean into hating on Taylor Swift and her first husband's wedding. Basically, this wedding is the type of party the Plus Size Park Hoppers would throw if you gave them unlimited funds and no boundaries. After that, I talk about more exciting news: Madonna's new album, Confessions II. Even though I will argue that the music video is the best part of this album's rollout, I am still very thankful that mama Madonna is the #1 pop girlie of the moment after so many years. Finally, I end the episode by sharing my thoughts on the new Legally Blonde (2001) prequel series, Elle (2026- ). Guess what? I HATE IT. Listen now! <3

BREAKING: Jussie Smollett and Karamo Brown are a couple. There hasn't been this iconic of a liar duo since Milli Vanilli! I start off this episode with an update on our girl, Daveigh Chase (it's not good), and then I swiftly dive into deep shit-talking about the new gay it couple that is Jussie and Karamo. Do we think they will commit to each other as fiercely as Jussie committed to his false narrative?! After that, I switch topics and give my review of Steven Spielberg's Disclosure Day (2026). I didn't hate it! In fact, I love the silly click noises Emily Blunt was able to do with her mouth, in addition to her compelling American accent. Next, I give my less positive review on Couture (2026) starring Angelina Jolie. The movie is sh!t, but hey, Angelina looks hotter than ever! Lastly, I have to highlight how Britney Spears' son's, Sean Preston and Jayden, are the fresh hot models of Paris fashion week! I'm hoping they are the new male nepo baby version of the Hadids. Listen now! <3

Helena Bonham Carter won't stop farting!!! Or at least that's what the internet is alleging. I start off this episode by getting into The White Lotus season 4 casting drama, and the bizarre details as to why Laura Dern has replaced Helena. After that, I discuss why male rhinoplasties can be a social misstep - as exemplified by that douchebag, Clavicular. Next up is Lizzo's new album that is performing poorly to say the least. By the way, did or did Lizzo not stick a banana up her pu$$y?! Please advise. Then I give an in depth analysis on the fascinating new bulimia centric film called Maddie's Secret (2025). It wasn't as funny as I had hoped, but John Early did deliver a performance that was almost too compelling. Lastly, Olivia Rodrigo is tearing a page out of Sarah McLachlan's book. No, she is not starring in sad charity commercials about dying animals, but instead she is creating her very own Lilith Fair. Olivia's festival will be called Daisy Chain Fields and it will be held in Irvine, CA come late August. See y'all there! Listen now <3

STORMAGANZA AHEAD!!! This week I talk about a lot of upsetting things, but my snarky attitude makes them palatable (I think?). Sadly, we have to pour one out for another child star gone too soon. Daveigh Chase, the beloved actress who scared the shit out of us in The Ring (2002) has passed away. I can't take all this heartbreak! Thankfully, to lighten things up, I discuss the new outrageous comedy film, Stop! That! Train! (2026), and let you all know that Delta Work is WRONG and this movie is amazing. Next up, I discuss why the latest Scary Movie (2026) installment is a bit disappointing. A damn shame! After that, I get into the most hair-raising documentary called Maternal Instinct (2026) that is all about a psychotic southern belle who lies incessantly and committed fetal abduction. She also shops at Torrid! After that, I touch on Gwyneth Paltrow's brutal faux pas and why she has earned the new nickname "Gwynocide". Lastly, I bring up the viral resurfacing of Tyra Banks' book, Modelland. Tyra will never let anyone tell her there's something she can't do! Listen now <3

I'm pretty sure I said the word "gay" at least 500 times this episode. Did you know it's pride month?! I kick off this week's episode with a surprising brand partnership between Tom Brady and new coconut water called "Good Nut". A lot of people think coco water already tastes like semen, so why not just call it like it is! After that, I detail my takeaways from the new horror movie, Backrooms (2026), and why its concept is so unsettling. Does anyone remember the hellish children's play center called "Leaps and Bounds"? It's a very triggering memory! Next, I remind everyone that the new Kylie Minogue 3-part documentary on Netflix is the perfect thing to put on during pride month. My favorite part of the doc is when Kylie exemplifies how to look your hottest at an ex's funeral! Lastly, to highlight gay art, I recommend a list of content everyone can either discover or revisit to honor the gays. Long live Judy Garland!!! Listen now <3