GIRLBLOGGER: THE PODCAST

THE WORLD IS IN PERIL! Well, at least we have a woman on TikTok to entertain us with her bizarre eating habits. Through the dark times we must always find a bit of light to guide us forward, and for me, that light is a blonde english teacher named Courtney Cook. She eats soup dumplings, she drenches everything in mayo, and she reassures us that we're "not stressin'". After I gab about Courtney, I move on to a more disappointing topic. As suspected, Ryan Murphy's new show The Beauty is a flop. However, it was quite fun to see Bella Hadid drink out of a public toilet! Also, in case you didn't hear, Sydney Sweeney might be in legal trouble for vandalizing the Hollywood sign with bras from her new lingerie line, SYRN. I don't know about you, but I'm about as sick of Sydney's tits as I am of the weak water pressure in my off-price bidet. Lastly, I get into the new trailer that just dropped for the upcoming America's Next Top Model documentary on Netflix. Fingers crossed we get to see the full outrageousness of Tyra's crazy! Listen now <3

I DO NOT WANT TO RECONCILE WITH MY FAMILY!!! That's what I texted my family group chat after they criticized my Ambrosia salad on Christmas. Similarly, the son of our queen Victoria Beckham has also severed ties with his family. The majority of this episode is all about the current drama between Brooklyn Beckham and his fam. There's so much to cover! Like how his wife Nicola tried to unalive her nanny. After that drama, I move on to the gay spectacle happening with the cast of Queer Eye. Karamo really said "I HATE YOU ALL" and dipped. Lastly, I have to touch on the recently released text conversations between Blake Lively and Taylor Swift. Spoiler alert: they're not that interesting, but I do respect Taylor for being cvnty via text. Listen now! <3

Jennifer Lopez looks like sh!t and Julia Roberts spewed hate during her award presentation! Well, not exactly, but both of those statements are versions of takes I have on this year's Golden Globes. Listen to me share my thoughts on host Nikki Glaser, Ariana Grande's eyebrows, and Paul Thomas Anderson's tendency to flip-flop in catering between gays and straights. After all that noise, I move on to the more peaceful topic of a violent horror film about a rabid chimpanzee. I highly suggest everyone go see the movie Primate (2025) if you want to develop a phobia of monkeys! Then on to more serious things like Mattel's new autistic Barbie. I just ordered one! I cannot wait to play with her fidget spinner and her alternative communication tablet! Lastly, I play some clips of Hilary Duff's raunchy new single, "Roommates". Who knew that Lizzie McGuire could be such a little harlot! Listen now <3

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh!t" These are the words we're living by in our year of 2026! Please pray that this year will bring goodness into our world other than a show about gay hockey players. Things were pretty bleak in 2025! Anyway, this episode has a great handful of fun topics. First, I must dive into Bianca Censori's latest endeavors as an on-stage performance artist. Apparently, if you want to put on a show, all you need is five contortionist models to wear masks of your face and then pose as furniture. It's a surefire way to turn heads! Next, I can't help but bring up Nicki Minaj's bizarre and unfortunate new political identity. Does she really think a red hat over a pink wig is going to make the Barbz happy?! Because it has not. Next I discuss the new Josh Safdie film, Marty Supreme (2025). The film is the equivalent to a chicken with it's head cutoff. That said, I very much enjoyed the movie and Timothée did not use a butt double for his spanking scene! Lastly, I have to pick apart the "toxic mom group" article that Ashley Tisdale (French?) insisted on writing for The Cut. Spoiler alert: Ashley is tone-deaf. Listen now! <3

We came to the cottage... and our lives changed forever. This episode me and my gay bff Connor (@connorxbowman) do a deep dive into the best show ever created. I am of course talking about the gay hockey romance sensation that is known as Heated Rivalry. I mention several times in this episode that this show has changed my body chemistry, and I assure you that I'm being completely sincere. That's because not only does this show tantalize us with perfectly sculpted hockey asses, but it also delivers the most powerful love story ever told. That is the love between yearning athletes, and a smoothie barista, as they try to navigate the stigma around homosexual romance. Needless to say, we cannot get enough of this show, so we break down each episode and share every last thought we have to give on this masterpiece. Listen now! <3