GIRLBLOGGER: THE PODCAST

Hi! My name is Chanty Beluga! Did you know Gwyneth Paltrow is throwing a dinner in my honor at her Hamptons home? L-O-L ... Before I get into the lore of the new internet star named *Chanty Beluga*, we first must pay our respects to the late and great, Hayden Panettiere. Hayden is unfortunately one of several great child stars that has recently left us way too soon. After I share all of the details and theories surrounding Hayden's death, I get into the new vocal stim that is sweeping the nation... Chanty Beluga. Sometimes the world's greatest stars are just the kooky-named girl next door. Next, I talk about Lindsay Lohan's new beauty/skincare line while reminiscing about her past self-tanner, Sevin Nyne. Was I the only person that loved that sh!t? Also, I cant help but mention Kaia Gerber's recent story she shared about an exorcism being performed on her with a didgeridoo as a child. DA F**K?! In fashion news, Chanel ambassador Margaret Qualley recently wore the brand's dumbest pair of "shoes" ever. Google it. Lastly, I discuss the newest Practical Magic 2 (2026) trailer and how it gave me hope that the film would not be a complete train wreck. Listen now! <3

Oh no! Another Disney adult has taken their fanfic too far and practically assaulted the poor twink portraying Peter Pan at Disneyland last week! I kick off this episode by giving everyone the scoop on @babytoni99 and her disturbing fondness for waifish lost boys that live in Neverland. After that, I spill the tea on the urgent matters surrounding the potential Barbie sequel, and what I believe should happen if there's a follow up film. Barbie should have s€x! Next up, Brad Pitt is drinking again after seven years of sobriety and I support this. Would love to party with him now that he's back on the sauce! Then I dive into the new film, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026), and explain that while I love the movie, I may be annoyed with the film's director. Lastly, I go off about how boring and uninspired the latest Vogue cover is. I mean Kaia Gerber is hot, but wtf is this sh!t?! Listen now <3

James Haven is gay! "Who is that", you ask? Why, he's the brother of Angelina Jolie, who mouth kissed her on the red carpet back in 2000 at The Oscars. After congratulating James on his homosexuality, I then dive into the vary harrowing topic of Perez Hilton's gruesome mental breakdown on TikTok live. This might be the spookiest public meltdown of all time, so we wish that both Perez and his family can heal from this travesty. On a lighter note, Tate McRae made quite the deceptive sponcon video the other day. DID THE MAKEUP WIPE EVEN TOUCH HER FACE?! Next, I finally get to discussing not only Ariana Grande's new album, Petal, but also the public discourse surrounding her skinny body. We are rooting for you, Ari! Then I move on to talking about my new favorite Gregg Araki film, I Want Your Sex (2026). I suddenly want to have a dom/sub relationship with my kinky artist employer! Lastly, you get to hear my hot take on the announcement that the 2027 Met Gala theme will center around John Galliano. Listen now <3

I'm still complaining about Taylor Swift's wedding!!! Well, mainly just comparing it to Emma Roberts' recent wedding to Cody John, and how this type of soiree is the chic event Taylor SHOULD have thrown. I digress... After that, I touch on the recent trend of celebrity kids dropping their father's last names. In the case of Suri Noelle (née Cruise), I understand because I too would not want to have any association to the church of scientology! Next up, I discuss The Invite (2026) and how straight people might actually be just as slutty as gay people. Do you know any heteros that are members of "the lifestyle"? Then I touch on my fondness for Charli XCX's new Album, Music Fashion Film, and how David Lynch should have been on the album cover (may he RIP). Lastly, I tell everyone to go watch the new white woman/wine show called The 5-Star Weekend on Peacock. It kinda sucks but it reminds me of home! Listen now <3

The Odyssey sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! I start out this episode by apologizing for missing last week due my trip to NYC. I saw Oh Mary! and it was f**king incredible. There was a slight hiccup though... Meg Stalter almost didn't perform due to bronchitis! Thank god our girl pulled through. After that, I make sure to address that Lindsey Graham died and how the internet treated the death like a comedy bit. He was gayer than a Care Bear! Next, I talk about my new hero, Robin Byrd, and her hot, new documentary, Bang My Box (2026) on HBO. This woman was a regular Elizabeth Taylor when it came to gay advocacy! Then I have no choice but to talk about my bleak experience in watching The Odyssey (2026). I feel like everyone is lying to themselves... did y'all really understand what the f**k was going on in this movie?! Lastly, I touch on the final installment of Jackass - Jackass: Best and Last. While this movie is definitely the weakest of the franchise, at least you get to see Chris Pontius's dick. Listen now! <3