Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses goals and how our goals change as we change. He discussed the difference between first order change (behavior, skills, tools) vs. second order change (a fundamentally different way of seeing the world and relating to it). He suggests that we ask different questions, bigger questions, to get unstuck from old patterns. The great task is to look critically into our programming and challenge the answers to the largest questions in life.

Dr. Reedy reviews Alice Miller’s, "The Drama of the Gifted Child." He touts this book as the most important book written on the subject of the parent-child dynamic. Miller explains how a child will give up who they are to meet the parent’s needs. The call is to do the deep work necessary to “cut the tragic link between admiration and love.”

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on setting boundaries in relationships where that hasn’t been the practice. He explains that we will get better as we go. He explains that the ability to listen to a feeling or a boundary says more about the receiver than it does about the person sharing.

Dr. Reedy discusses boundaries and self-care and how guilt, shame, and fear must be dealt with in order to love yourself. He explains how boundaries are beyond right and wrong. He explains how love of self is the foundation for loving everyone else.