My Rejection Story

• Narcissism Doctor: What Happens When You Reject A Narcissist (featuring Dr. Sterlin Mosely)

  In this episode, human relations professor and author Dr. Sterlin Mosley joins Alice to break down one of the most confusing and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: what happens when you reject a narcissist — romantically, sexually, emotionally, or otherwise.If you’ve ever wondered how to reject a narcissist safely, what narcissists do when you reject them, or why even highly intelligent people end up trapped in cycles of love bombing, self-doubt, and psychological whiplash, this conversation is going to hit with startling clarity.Sterlin opens with a statistic that flips the entire narrative on its head: while official numbers say 1–2% of people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the real number of people with significant narcissistic traits is likely closer to 8–10%. From there, he explains why NPD is so often undiagnosed, how narcissists take rejection, and why denial (“I’m not a narcissist!”) is often the most predictable response.Alice and Sterlin go deep into the relational fallout of setting boundaries — including when you reject a narcissist hoover and they attempt to pull you back, when you reject a narcissist sexually, and why narcissists often escalate, punish, or retaliate when their supply is cut off. Sterlin also breaks down the neurology behind the love bombing narcissist meaning — why it feels euphoric, addictive, and impossible to leave — and what to do when you're involved with a love bombing narcissist husband, partner, parent, or friend.For listeners dealing with covert narcissists, Sterlin explains why covert personalities are harder to identify, how they use vulnerability as manipulation, and how to reject a covert narcissist without getting caught in the guilt–shame–blame cycle.Most importantly, Sterlin offers grounded, non-sensationalized guidance on the best way to reject a narcissist, the emotional withdrawal that follows, and how to rebuild honesty, clarity, and safety in your own body again.This episode is a must-listen for anyone in a confusing relationship, navigating the aftermath of narcissistic rejection, or trying to understand why even the strongest people can get trapped in dynamics that erode their confidence, intuition, and well-being. It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered: If you reject a narcissist, what happens next — and how do you protect yourself in the process?Resources & Links🌐 Explore Dr. Sterlin Mosley’s work at http://sterlinmosley.com/📚 Read Center of the Universe: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/center-of-the-universe-9781538186435/📰 Subscribe to Sterlin’s Substack for deeper case studies and essays on narcissism: https://substack.com/@sterlinmosleyChapters00:00 Why So Many Narcissists Go Undiagnosed02:00 What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist05:00 Do Narcissists Deny Being a Narcissist?08:20 Why the DSM Gets Narcissism Wrong11:40 How Narcissists Take Rejection in Relationships14:00 The Reality of Rejecting a Covert Narcissist18:10 “Love Bombing” Explained — Neurology, Addiction & Fantasy22:30 When You Reject a Narcissist Sexually25:00 What to Do When You Reject a Narcissist After Betrayal28:40 The Narcissistic Hoover: Why They Pull You Back32:00 The Best Way to Reject a Narcissist Safely35:20 Trauma, Armoring & the Roots of Narcissistic Personality40:00 What Narcissists Do When You Reject Them (and Why)45:30 Breadcrumbing, Gaslighting, and DARVO50:00 Rebuilding Reality After Emotional Manipulation53:10 Why You Blame Yourself — and Why You Shouldn’t56:30 Choosing Yourself Again59:00 Sterlin’s Advice for Anyone Living in Narcissistic Chaos

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• Whitney Goodman: How To Deal With Toxic Positivity

  In this mini replay episode, therapist and bestselling author Whitney Goodman joins Alice for an unflinchingly honest conversation about toxic positivity — what it is, how it shows up, and why so many of us default to forced optimism instead of honest connection.Whitney Goodman, known online as @sitwithwit and the author behind the viral toxic positivity book, breaks down toxic positivity explained in a way that finally feels human. She talks about how social media has turned everyday life into a public performance, why people feel pressure to appear happy even when they’re not, and how positivity becomes harmful when it’s used to deny the full emotional experience.Alice and Whitney walk through the central question: what is toxic positivity, really? Whitney explains why phrases like “just stay positive,” “everything happens for a reason,” or “you’ll learn from this one day” often make people feel worse, not better. They discuss how these responses are usually rooted in fear — fear of uncertainty, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of sitting with someone else’s pain.The conversation also explores the nuanced difference between toxic positivity vs optimism — and why healthy positivity leaves space for grief, frustration, and disappointment instead of covering them with a motivational bow.Drawing from stories in Whitney’s book, Alice and Whitney discuss how early childhood messages around “not being sensitive,” “not crying,” or “being strong” can lead adults to suppress emotions, over-function, or rely on cheerfulness as a shield. Whitney explains how toxicity and positivity often intertwine when people are taught that expressing negative feelings is dangerous or shameful.You’ll hear Whitney break down the science of emotional suppression — how unprocessed feelings often show up in physical symptoms like sleep issues, irritability, or trouble concentrating. She also shares why some people fear joy, why others numb sadness, and why emotional awareness is a skill, not a personality trait.They also explore the subtle ways people use work, productivity, travel, or “keeping busy” as a socially rewarded form of avoidance, and how to check in with yourself to know if you’re genuinely thriving or simply distracting yourself.This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt guilty for struggling, pressured to be grateful in the middle of something hard, or frustrated by the “good vibes only” culture online. If you’ve ever wondered why forced optimism feels empty — or why suppressing your feelings only makes them louder — this toxic positivity podcast episode will feel grounding, compassionate, and clarifying.Resources & Links:Visit Whitney’s community Calling Home: callinghome.coFind Whitney on Instagram: @sitwithwitInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sitwithwhitTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whitneygoodmanlmftChapters:00:00 The Pressure to Look Happy02:00 Why We Rarely Share the Hard Parts Online05:45 The Problem with “Everything Happens for a Reason”08:40 Why Meaning-Making Only Works When It Comes From Within11:00 Positivity as a Defense Mechanism13:30 When Optimism Becomes Denial16:00 The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Emotions18:40 Using Work or Productivity to Avoid Hard Feelings21:00 Why Some People Fear Joy23:30 Our Fear of Uncertainty26:00 What We Can and Can’t Control28:00 How to Support Others Without Dismissing Their Pain30:00 Whitney’s Work, Book, and Where to Find Her

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• Eva Langston: "My Novel Died On Submission" — Publisher Rejection, Landing a Book Agent, & Fostering a Writing Community

  In this episode, novelist and writing instructor Eva Langston joins Alice to break open one of the most under-discussed truths in publishing: sometimes your book dies even after you’ve done everything “right.”After years in the query trenches, eight manuscripts, and dozens of literary agent queries, Eva finally landed representation — the milestone so many writers dream of. But what happened next wasn’t the success story she expected. Her agented novel went out on submission and became what the industry quietly calls a rejected book. Then the next one died on submission, too.Eva shares the emotional toll of spending years querying an agent, fighting through inbox silence, and learning the real book deal meaning after rejections from many publishers. She traces the shame spiral that followed — the week she couldn’t eat, couldn’t smile, and seriously wondered if she would ever see her work in print — and the surprising statistic that changed everything: only 5% of agented manuscripts get picked up by publishers.What looks like failure from the outside was, for Eva, the beginning of a creative rebirth. She talks about the sculpture garden visit that sparked her next novel, how she wrote it in a burst of catharsis, and why she believes the books rejected by publishers often contain the seeds of better ones.Eva and Alice also dive into the power of building a writing community — both offline and through an online writing community like Substack — and why being a “good literary citizen” is one of the most sustaining forces in the book writing community. From reaching out to debut authors, to creating her new podcast The Long Road to Publishing, to finding critique partners through workshops, Eva shows how connection can hold you steady when querying book agents threatens to break you.This episode is a must-listen for anyone querying an agent, drafting a novel, navigating rejection, or searching for an honest look at what it means to query agents and publishers in today’s saturated market. It’s for every writer who has wondered if their dream is taking too long — and for anyone who needs the reminder that you haven’t failed if you’re still trying.Resources & Links:🌐 Listen to Eva’s podcast The Long Road to Publishing📬 Subscribe to Eva’s Newsletter for Writers on Substack💻 Connect with Eva at evalangston.com🎧 Listen to This Mama Is Lit, where Eva is co-hostChapters:00:00 Why We Don’t Talk About Dead-On-Submission Books02:00 Eva’s Earliest Rejection & Her Mother’s Brutal Honesty06:30 Entering the Query Trenches—Writing Eight Novels10:20 When Literary Agent Queries Go Nowhere12:40 Querying a Book vs. Querying Your Worth15:30 Landing an Agent After 90 Queries18:00 The First Book Dies on Submission—And Then the Second21:40 The 5% Statistic That Changed Everything24:00 Publisher Silence, Rejection Emails, and Mental Health27:05 Rebuilding Confidence Through a Writing Community30:10 Substack, Online Writing Community, and Literary Citizenship34:00 The Sculpture Garden Breakdown → Breakthrough37:20 Writing a New Novel in Two Months40:15 Exciting Developments (She Can’t Share Yet…)41:40 Why She Started The Long Road to Publishing46:10 AI Manuscripts, Inbox Saturation & Querying Book Agents Today50:00 Champagne Rejections & How to Keep Going52:30 How to Build Your Own Book Writing Community57:00 Eva’s Parting Words: “You Haven’t Failed If You’re Still Trying.”

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• From Lawyer to Dancer & Speaker: Kim Bolourtchi on Strategic Unruliness

  In this episode, keynote speaker and former litigator Kim Bolourtchi joins Alice to unpack what happens when following all the rules still leaves you feeling hollow.After building a high-powered legal career, Kim realized that the very traits that made her “successful” — discipline, control, and achievement — were also keeping her small. She opens up about the moment her two worlds collided: arguing before the Missouri Supreme Court when her husband revealed her secret life as a Latin dancer. What felt like career sabotage became the spark that changed everything.Kim and Alice dive deep into the invisible rules we inherit — from childhood conditioning to workplace norms — and how these rules shape our sense of belonging, respectability, and self-worth. Kim shares her journey of strategic unruliness: identifying the beliefs that no longer serve you, learning to trust your own desires, and taking small, courageous steps toward a more authentic life.From losing a national dance competition in a catsuit to redefining what success looks like beyond external validation, Kim’s story is a masterclass in breaking patterns without burning down your life.This episode is for anyone who’s done everything “right” and still feels like something’s missing — anyone who’s ready to stop performing success and start embodying it.Resources & Links:📘 Strategic Unruliness: Break the Rules, Build What’s Next by Kim Bolourtchi🌐 Take Kim’s “Which Rule Is Running Your Life?” quiz at kimbolourtchi.com💬 Connect with Kim on LinkedInChapters:00:00 The Ache of Doing Everything Right01:10 Arguing Before the Supreme Court—and Being Outed as a Dancer06:20 Integrating the Parts of Yourself You’ve Hidden10:45 The Rules We Inherit From Childhood15:00 When People-Pleasing Stops Serving You20:00 Taking Small Steps Toward Alignment26:30 The Catsuit Story: Breaking Convention and Rediscovering Joy33:00 The Keynote Flop That Taught Her Conviction41:00 Resentment, Envy, and the Signals of Misalignment47:00 Redefining Security and Success on Your Own Terms50:00 Building a Strategically Unruly Life

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• Top ADHD Creators: Why is Self-Promotion So Hard with ADHD?

  In this episode, I bring together four of the smartest, funniest, most relatable ADHD creators I know to unpack one of the trickiest topics in business: self-promotion.We talk about everything from the executive dysfunction that makes “just post it” feel impossible, to the dopamine desert that hits after you finally do. There’s a lot of laughter, a lot of honesty, and a few mic-drop strategies that had me replaying the conversation for days.You’ll hear from:Meredith Carder, ADHD educator and author of It All Makes Sense Now, who breaks down the emotional toll of visibility for neurodivergent creators—and why we so often ghost our own ideas.Jesse J. Anderson, author of Extra Focus, who shares his “pretend your friends and family don’t exist” strategy for posting content without panic.Diann Wingert, host of the ADHD-ish podcast and a business coach for ADHD entrepreneurs, who offers a brilliant reframe on negativity bias and visibility fear.Tayla Blaire, writer, journalist, and creator of the We Are Made of Stories writing course, who opens up about ghosting, grief, and the inner conflict of wanting to be seen while simultaneously hiding.Whether you’re navigating public speaking with ADHD, wondering how to succeed in business with ADHD, or just trying to post consistently without spiraling, this conversation is for you.If you’ve ever Googled things like “self-promotion ADHD” or “ADHD and executive functioning”—or you’ve been paralyzed by the thought of sharing your work—this episode will leave you feeling a lot less alone.Meredith Carder📘 It All Makes Sense Now📰 Subscribe to Meredith’s Substack📲 @hummingbird_adhd on InstagramJesse J. Anderson📘 Buy Extra Focus📝 Sign up to his newsletter📲 @adhdjesse on Instagram and XDiann Wingert🌐 Business coaching services🎧 Listen to ADHD-ish🧠 Take her “What’s Holding You Back?” quiz💼 Connect on LinkedInTayla Blaire✍️ Courses & writing mentorship📲 @scribblingsidehustlers on Instagram💼 Connect on LinkedIn

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