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My Rejection Story

Alice Draper
My Rejection Story
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  • Eva Langston: "My Novel Died On Submission" — Publisher Rejection, Landing a Book Agent, & Fostering a Writing Community
    In this episode, novelist and writing instructor Eva Langston joins Alice to break open one of the most under-discussed truths in publishing: sometimes your book dies even after you’ve done everything “right.”After years in the query trenches, eight manuscripts, and dozens of literary agent queries, Eva finally landed representation — the milestone so many writers dream of. But what happened next wasn’t the success story she expected. Her agented novel went out on submission and became what the industry quietly calls a rejected book. Then the next one died on submission, too.Eva shares the emotional toll of spending years querying an agent, fighting through inbox silence, and learning the real book deal meaning after rejections from many publishers. She traces the shame spiral that followed — the week she couldn’t eat, couldn’t smile, and seriously wondered if she would ever see her work in print — and the surprising statistic that changed everything: only 5% of agented manuscripts get picked up by publishers.What looks like failure from the outside was, for Eva, the beginning of a creative rebirth. She talks about the sculpture garden visit that sparked her next novel, how she wrote it in a burst of catharsis, and why she believes the books rejected by publishers often contain the seeds of better ones.Eva and Alice also dive into the power of building a writing community — both offline and through an online writing community like Substack — and why being a “good literary citizen” is one of the most sustaining forces in the book writing community. From reaching out to debut authors, to creating her new podcast The Long Road to Publishing, to finding critique partners through workshops, Eva shows how connection can hold you steady when querying book agents threatens to break you.This episode is a must-listen for anyone querying an agent, drafting a novel, navigating rejection, or searching for an honest look at what it means to query agents and publishers in today’s saturated market. It’s for every writer who has wondered if their dream is taking too long — and for anyone who needs the reminder that you haven’t failed if you’re still trying.Resources & Links:🌐 Listen to Eva’s podcast The Long Road to Publishing📬 Subscribe to Eva’s Newsletter for Writers on Substack💻 Connect with Eva at evalangston.com🎧 Listen to This Mama Is Lit, where Eva is co-hostChapters:00:00 Why We Don’t Talk About Dead-On-Submission Books02:00 Eva’s Earliest Rejection & Her Mother’s Brutal Honesty06:30 Entering the Query Trenches—Writing Eight Novels10:20 When Literary Agent Queries Go Nowhere12:40 Querying a Book vs. Querying Your Worth15:30 Landing an Agent After 90 Queries18:00 The First Book Dies on Submission—And Then the Second21:40 The 5% Statistic That Changed Everything24:00 Publisher Silence, Rejection Emails, and Mental Health27:05 Rebuilding Confidence Through a Writing Community30:10 Substack, Online Writing Community, and Literary Citizenship34:00 The Sculpture Garden Breakdown → Breakthrough37:20 Writing a New Novel in Two Months40:15 Exciting Developments (She Can’t Share Yet…)41:40 Why She Started The Long Road to Publishing46:10 AI Manuscripts, Inbox Saturation & Querying Book Agents Today50:00 Champagne Rejections & How to Keep Going52:30 How to Build Your Own Book Writing Community57:00 Eva’s Parting Words: “You Haven’t Failed If You’re Still Trying.”
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  • From Lawyer to Dancer & Speaker: Kim Bolourtchi on Strategic Unruliness
    In this episode, keynote speaker and former litigator Kim Bolourtchi joins Alice to unpack what happens when following all the rules still leaves you feeling hollow.After building a high-powered legal career, Kim realized that the very traits that made her “successful” — discipline, control, and achievement — were also keeping her small. She opens up about the moment her two worlds collided: arguing before the Missouri Supreme Court when her husband revealed her secret life as a Latin dancer. What felt like career sabotage became the spark that changed everything.Kim and Alice dive deep into the invisible rules we inherit — from childhood conditioning to workplace norms — and how these rules shape our sense of belonging, respectability, and self-worth. Kim shares her journey of strategic unruliness: identifying the beliefs that no longer serve you, learning to trust your own desires, and taking small, courageous steps toward a more authentic life.From losing a national dance competition in a catsuit to redefining what success looks like beyond external validation, Kim’s story is a masterclass in breaking patterns without burning down your life.This episode is for anyone who’s done everything “right” and still feels like something’s missing — anyone who’s ready to stop performing success and start embodying it.Resources & Links:📘 Strategic Unruliness: Break the Rules, Build What’s Next by Kim Bolourtchi🌐 Take Kim’s “Which Rule Is Running Your Life?” quiz at kimbolourtchi.com💬 Connect with Kim on LinkedInChapters:00:00 The Ache of Doing Everything Right01:10 Arguing Before the Supreme Court—and Being Outed as a Dancer06:20 Integrating the Parts of Yourself You’ve Hidden10:45 The Rules We Inherit From Childhood15:00 When People-Pleasing Stops Serving You20:00 Taking Small Steps Toward Alignment26:30 The Catsuit Story: Breaking Convention and Rediscovering Joy33:00 The Keynote Flop That Taught Her Conviction41:00 Resentment, Envy, and the Signals of Misalignment47:00 Redefining Security and Success on Your Own Terms50:00 Building a Strategically Unruly Life
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  • Top ADHD Creators: Why is Self-Promotion So Hard with ADHD?
    In this episode, I bring together four of the smartest, funniest, most relatable ADHD creators I know to unpack one of the trickiest topics in business: self-promotion.We talk about everything from the executive dysfunction that makes “just post it” feel impossible, to the dopamine desert that hits after you finally do. There’s a lot of laughter, a lot of honesty, and a few mic-drop strategies that had me replaying the conversation for days.You’ll hear from:Meredith Carder, ADHD educator and author of It All Makes Sense Now, who breaks down the emotional toll of visibility for neurodivergent creators—and why we so often ghost our own ideas.Jesse J. Anderson, author of Extra Focus, who shares his “pretend your friends and family don’t exist” strategy for posting content without panic.Diann Wingert, host of the ADHD-ish podcast and a business coach for ADHD entrepreneurs, who offers a brilliant reframe on negativity bias and visibility fear.Tayla Blaire, writer, journalist, and creator of the We Are Made of Stories writing course, who opens up about ghosting, grief, and the inner conflict of wanting to be seen while simultaneously hiding.Whether you’re navigating public speaking with ADHD, wondering how to succeed in business with ADHD, or just trying to post consistently without spiraling, this conversation is for you.If you’ve ever Googled things like “self-promotion ADHD” or “ADHD and executive functioning”—or you’ve been paralyzed by the thought of sharing your work—this episode will leave you feeling a lot less alone.Meredith Carder📘 It All Makes Sense Now📰 Subscribe to Meredith’s Substack📲 @hummingbird_adhd on InstagramJesse J. Anderson📘 Buy Extra Focus📝 Sign up to his newsletter📲 @adhdjesse on Instagram and XDiann Wingert🌐 Business coaching services🎧 Listen to ADHD-ish🧠 Take her “What’s Holding You Back?” quiz💼 Connect on LinkedInTayla Blaire✍️ Courses & writing mentorship📲 @scribblingsidehustlers on Instagram💼 Connect on LinkedIn
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  • Tara Jaye Frank: Leaving A Marriage, Learning Through Publisher’s Rejection, & The Helper’s Dilemma
    In this episode, bestselling author and former Hallmark executive Tara Jaye Frank joins Alice to talk about the messy, courageous process of letting go—of careers, of marriages, and of identities that no longer fit. From leaving a long-term marriage to walking away from a lucrative book deal, Tara opens up about what it means to choose yourself when everything in you has been wired for people-pleasing behavior.She shares the subtle shifts that whisper when to leave a marriage—and how she found peace in deciding to leave, even when it meant stepping into uncertainty. Tara also reflects on burnout at work, the identity unraveling that followed her departure from Hallmark, and how she rebuilt her life through what she calls a transformation after midlife.This is an episode for anyone standing at the crossroads of should I leave my marriage or when to call it quits in a marriage, wondering how to move through the end of a marriage or prepare to leave a good marriage without losing yourself in the process.Tara’s story is a reminder that growth doesn’t always look like winning—it often looks like walking away.If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “When should you leave a marriage?” or felt like you’re outgrowing the version of yourself who once fit so neatly into your life, this conversation is for you.Resources & Links:📘 The Waymakers by Tara Jaye Frank: https://www.thelwaymakers.com🌐 Subscribe to Tara’s LinkedIn newsletter You Are Before the World: Tara J. Frank on LinkedIn`Chapters:00:00 The Shy Child Who Learned to Listen03:40 Leaving a 21-Year Career at Hallmark10:02 Preparing to Leave a Marriage—and Trusting Yourself Again17:45 The Law of Least Effort and Accepting What’s True26:50 When the Pain of Staying Outweighs the Fear of Leaving31:40 I Left My Marriage: Learning to Let Go Without Losing Yourself36:10 Publisher Rejection, Creative Alignment, and After 40 Transformation43:00 Burnout, Boundaries, and the Helper’s Dilemma50:00 Knowing What Matters So You Can Do What Counts
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  • Jamie Varon on Delayed Gratification versus Instant Gratification & How To Detach From Results
    What if success takes longer than expected?In this reflective and empowering episode, writer and creative entrepreneur Jamie Varon joins My Rejection Story to talk about the uncomfortable space between effort and outcome. We dig deep into the psychology of delayed gratification vs instant gratification, what it means to stay motivated when the world isn’t watching, and how to keep creating even when the payoff is years away.Jamie shares how she rebuilt her creative process around trusting herself first—detaching from results, resisting the urge to quit too soon, and embracing the art of delayed gratification. She shares raw personal stories, including how she almost walked away from writing entirely—and what brought her back.If you’ve ever burned out from hustle culture, doubted your work after one rejection, or felt crushed when something didn’t “go viral,” this episode will shift how you think about success. It’s a masterclass in delayed gratification motivation and creative resilience, especially for those building something meaningful.In this episode, we discussed:Delayed gratification explained: why it’s harder than ever and how to build itThe emotional cost of creating in a world obsessed with overnight successWhy Jamie no longer ties her worth to her metrics (and how she made that shift)How to reframe “rejection” as a signal—not a stop signInstant and delayed gratification in the context of writing, publishing, and marketingLearning to love the process more than the praiseThe role of delayed gratification in business and why short-term wins can sabotage long-term growthHer viral essay on Main Character Energy—and how the world twisted itJamie’s new approach to creativity: aligned action, not panic performanceWhat most people get wrong about motivation—and how she reclaimed hersOne of our favorite Jamie Varon quotes: “You can’t rush what you want to last.”Quotes:💬 "You might spend two years for a one-minute result. So why not make those two years joyful?"💬 "Trying is brave. And trying again is revolutionary."💬 "Detaching from results isn’t giving up—it’s finally breathing."💬 "Rejection doesn’t mean you were wrong. It might mean you’re early."Chapters:00:00 – Intro02:00 – Delayed gratification motivation and what’s changed in the digital age05:30 – The moment Jamie almost quit writing09:00 – Navigating rejection and rebuilding self-trust12:45 – The fork in the road: believe the rejection, or believe your vision16:20 – How Jamie Varon books have evolved alongside her inner world21:10 – Jamie Varon main character energy—and the backlash25:30 – Letting go of hustle for alignment29:00 – Why we confuse feedback with fact32:00 – Creative longevity and delayed gratification in business36:00 – Writing for soul, not sales40:00 – What she tells herself now when things don’t take off44:00 – The secret to finishing what you startResources:Jamie Varon books: Radically Content, Main Character EnergyWebsite: www.jamievaron.comInstagram: @jamievaronExplore more Jamie Varon quotes and essays at Radically Content
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About My Rejection Story

In exclusive interviews, bestselling authors like Tina Wells, Kristen Butler, Jason VanRuler, and Neil Patel share how they navigated the toughest periods of their personal and professional lives, and how this shaped the success they now experience today. Studies show that the stories we tell ourselves about rejection influence whether these failures fuel our ambition and propel us forward, or stifle our growth and hold us back. If your rejection story is holding you back, it is time for a reframe.
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