My Rejection Story

What does it actually mean when someone cuts off their family — and why does family estrangement provoke such intense reactions from the outside world?
In this short solo episode, Alice uses the recent public fallout involving Brooklyn Beckham, David Beckham, and Victoria Beckham as a cultural moment to explore family rejection and estrangement, one of the most misunderstood — and stigmatized — forms of rejection.
Rather than speculating about who is right or wrong in the Beckham situation, Alice explains why public stories about family conflict are almost always incomplete. She unpacks why family estrangement in adulthood can be both a necessary act of self-protection and an emotionally devastating loss — and why outsiders often rush to assign blame when an adult child cuts contact with their parents.
Drawing directly from Psychology Today research, this episode breaks down what family estrangement actually is, why adult children most often initiate it, and why it’s frequently confused with family alienation or scapegoating. Alice also explores why family estrangement stories — especially high-profile ones like the Brooklyn Beckham situation — trigger such strong emotional reactions, moral judgments, and assumptions about loyalty.
In this episode, Alice explains:
What family estrangement really means, based on psychological research

Why estrangement usually unfolds slowly over years, not suddenly or impulsively

The most common reasons adult children experience family rejection, including emotional abuse, neglect, and clashes of values

The difference between family estrangement and family alienation — and why black-and-white thinking can signal unresolved harm rather than clarity

Why family estrangement carries so much stigma, shame, and social judgment

What research shows about how long family estrangement typically lasts, and why reconciliation isn’t always possible — or healthy

Why people are so uncomfortable with the idea that someone might need distance from their family to protect their mental health

Alice also addresses why public speculation about the Brooklyn Beckham feud — including assumptions about control, loyalty, and marriage — reflects broader cultural discomfort with family estrangement and rejection trauma, rather than any real understanding of what happens behind closed doors.
This episode is not about celebrity gossip.
It’s about family estrangement, rejection, boundaries, and the psychological toll of being misunderstood when the people who are supposed to love you become unsafe.
If you’ve ever struggled to understand why someone would estrange themselves from their family — or if you’ve lived through family rejection and felt judged, dismissed, or forced to justify your decision — this episode offers clarity without blame.

Resources mentioned:
Psychology Today — Family Estrangement (Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/family-dynamics/family-estrangement
Fern Schumer Chapman, What Research Tells Us About Family Estrangement (2024)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202402/statistics-that-tell-the-story-of-family-estrangement
Calling Home podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calling-home-with-whitney-goodman-lmft/id1706820976

Chapters:
00:00 Why the Brooklyn Beckham Story Triggered Such a Strong Reaction
02:00 Why We Don’t Actually Know What’s Happening Inside That Family
04:00 What Family Estrangement Is — and What It Isn’t
06:00 Why Adult Children Cut Off Parents
08:00 Estrangement vs. Alienation: Complexity vs. Black-and-White Thinking
10:30 Why Family Estrangement Is So Stigmatized
13:00 How Long Estrangement Lasts — and Whether Reconciliation Is Possible
15:00 Final Thoughts: Why Family Rejection Is One of the Hardest Losses to Explain

Why does rejection feel so threatening—sometimes even more destabilizing than physical danger? Why does losing approval, status, or belonging shake our confidence so deeply? And why does the fear of rejection seem impossible to fully “heal” or outgrow?
In this episode of My Rejection Story, Alice is joined by Jeremy Sherman, an evolution and social science researcher who studies the origins of life, human behavior, and what he calls the “black market of confidence.” Together, they explore rejection not as a psychological flaw—but as a survival mechanism rooted deep in human evolution.
Jeremy challenges the idea that rejection hurts simply because of brain wiring or trauma. Instead, he reframes rejection as a threat to confidence itself—something humans have always needed to stay alive, belong to groups, and navigate danger. With language, imagination, and social comparison layered on top of biology, humans became uniquely vulnerable to rejection in ways no other species is.
Throughout the conversation, Alice and Jeremy unpack why confidence operates like a scarce resource, why humans quietly compete for affirmation while pretending they don’t need it, and why attempts to “solve” rejection often miss the point entirely.
In this episode, they explore:
Why fear of rejection didn’t evolve for happiness—but for survival
How humans operate in a constant “black market” of confidence and affirmation
Why language and imagination make rejection more destabilizing for humans than animals
The evolutionary trade-off between visibility, status, and danger
Why confidence feels abundant until it disappears—and why we panic when it does
Why there may be no permanent cure for fear of rejection, only ways to live with it more honestly
Rather than offering tidy solutions, this episode invites listeners to sit with paradox: the need for confidence, the inevitability of rejection, and the freedom that comes from recognizing that this tension is part of being human—not evidence that something is wrong with you.
If you’ve ever wondered why rejection feels existential, why confidence feels fragile, or why approval seems to matter more than logic says it should, this conversation will leave you thinking—and possibly relieved that the struggle isn’t personal.

Connect with Jeremy:

TRYING BEINGS Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjH_fBN6aQQ0uw5324tSrcg?view_as=subscriber
Instagram: instagram.com/jeremyshermanphd/?hl=en
Chapters
00:00 Why Rejection Feels Like a Survival Threat
02:00 Introducing Jeremy Sherman and a New Way to Think About Rejection
06:00 Confidence as a Scarce Resource—and a Black Market
11:00 Language, Imagination, and Why Humans Fear Rejection So Deeply
18:00 Why Confidence Feels Stable—Until It Disappears
26:00 The Evolutionary Trade-Off Between Visibility and Safety
34:00 Why There Is No Permanent Cure for Fear of Rejection
43:00 Aging, Status Loss, and the Fear of Becoming Invisible
52:00 Purpose, Community, and What Happens When Roles End
01:02:00 Final Thoughts: Living With Rejection, Not Solving It

In this episode, ADHD thought leader, author, and host of the Tracy Otsuka podcast joins Alice for a conversation about identity, rejection, and the quiet conditioning that teaches so many women to shrink. Drawing from her own story and the research behind learned helplessness psychology, Tracy explains why women with ADHD are especially vulnerable to internalizing criticism — and how those early messages of “you’re too much,” “you’re not enough,” “you’re disorganized,” shape a lifetime of self-doubt.
Tracy breaks down the learned helplessness meaning in practical terms: the moment you stop trying because every attempt has been shut down. She shares learned helplessness examples from childhood socialization, school environments, and relationships where girls are punished for intuition, sensitivity, and non-linear thinking. And she clarifies the difference between weaponized incompetence vs learned helplessness — one is manipulation, the other is survival.
She also explains the neuroscience behind why ADHD brains shut down during rejection, why emotional flooding sends the prefrontal cortex offline, and how that creates a cycle of avoidance, fear, and stalled decision-making. Tracy and Alice explore the overlap between learned helplessness and depression, how masking becomes a default for ADHD women, and why regaining a sense of agency begins with identity, not productivity hacks.
This conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck, ashamed, or convinced they “can’t trust their brain.” For anyone wondering how to explain the concept of learned helplessness to themselves or others, or why learned helplessness ADHD patterns can be reversed with intention, identity work, and small acts of self-trust. Tracy reminds us that the opposite of helplessness isn’t perfection — it’s action, built one decision at a time.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s version of your life, or if you want to understand why ADHD women struggle despite being intuitive, brilliant, and highly capable, this episode is a must-listen. Tracy’s work — through her coaching, her Tracy Otsuka book, and her learned helplessness podcast conversations — offers a blueprint for reclaiming your agency and building an identity rooted in who you truly are.
Resources & Links:
Tracy’s book: ADHD for Smart Ass Women

Tracy’s podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women
Website & Programs: ADHDforSmartWomen.com

Chapters
00:00 The Double Standard: Why Women With ADHD Carry More Shame
03:40 Intuition, Sensitivity, and Reading the Room
04:35 What Rejection Does to an ADHD Brain
06:51 Socialization, Masking, and the Roots of Learned Helplessness
07:26 Learned Helplessness Meaning: When Self-Preservation Becomes Avoidance
09:15 The Gendered Misdiagnosis of ADHD & Emotional Flooding
12:18 Action, Dopamine, and Why Interest Drives Everything
13:49 Trauma, Identity, and Reversing Learned Helplessness
15:40 Finding Your Area of Interest & Building Positive Emotion
18:07 How Tracy Wrote Her Book Using Fun, Challenge, and Social Accountability
21:33 Intention, Identity, and Becoming Someone You Trust
24:59 The Opposite of Helplessness: Pride, Purpose, and Dopamine

In this powerful mini replay, positive psychology practitioner and author Jodi Wellman joins Alice for a conversation about mortality, motivation, and the brave work of actually living our lives instead of waiting for the perfect moment. Jodi — known for her viral TED Talk, her book You Only Die Once, and her work at Four Thousand Mondays — explains why death is a great motivator, and why many of us need the uncomfortable truth of our finiteness to finally stop procrastinating the things that matter most.
Jodi shares how her mother’s early death shaped her philosophy, and why the reminder you are dying isn’t morbid — it’s honest. She breaks down the psychological insight behind death as motivation, the research that shows we act more boldly when we acknowledge our limits, and why “there’s no greater motivator than death” when we’re stuck in fear.
From reloading a stapler in a corporate job she knew she’d outgrown, to making the leap into coaching, to leaving a successful business partnership to build 4000 Mondays, Jodi explains how we can recognize the moment when procrastination turns into self-betrayal — and how to reclaim our agency before regret piles up.
This episode is for anyone who keeps waiting to feel confident, ready, or “better” before making a move; for anyone asking is death a good motivator? or wondering why fear feels louder than desire. Jodi’s answer is simple: motivation rarely arrives. We create it by acting.
If you’ve ever needed a reminder that your Mondays are ticking down, that your dreams won’t wait, or that you only die once, this conversation will wake you up in the best possible way.
Resources & Links
Book: You Only Die Once https://www.amazon.com/You-Only-Die-Once-Regrets/dp/0316574279

Website: https://fourthousandmondays.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourthousandmondays/?hl=en
TED Talk: Jodi Wellman on how facing death helps us live, https://www.ted.com/embed/jodi_wellman_how_death_can_bring_you_back_to_life

Chapters
00:00 The Wake-Up Call: Losing Her Mother Early
01:29 Fear, Procrastination, and the Self-Talk That Finally Works
02:40 Why Positive Psychology Still Needs a Little Pain
03:53 Denying Death, Compromised Inner Lives
04:33 Playing Small to Avoid Rejection
06:40 The Stapler Moment: Staying Too Long in Work That Drains You
08:58 Why Confidence Never Arrives First
10:11 Studying Memento Mori & Starting Four Thousand Mondays
11:25 The Moment She Committed to Leaving Corporate
12:20 Choosing the Thesis That Changed Everything
13:08 Community, Courage, and Feeling More Alive
14:33 Rejection in Real Time: The TV Project She’s Avoiding
16:59 Eating Rejection for Breakfast
18:04 Why the Sweaty Rejections Matter Most
19:54 Alice’s Big Audacious Rejection Goal
20:46 Where to Find Jodi & What to Read First

Why does rejection hurt so intensely — even when the relationship was brief, online, or never fully real? Why do some rejections destabilize your entire sense of self while others barely register? In this solo episode, Alice breaks down exactly what rejection does to a person, why you may be taking rejection so hard, and how to recover with science-backed compassion.
Alice opens with a story from early 2020: a fast, dopamine-fueled pandemic connection with someone she never met — and the emotional crash that followed when it abruptly ended. If you’ve ever wondered “why am I so hurt by rejection?”, “why do I get so hurt by rejection?” or “what does constant rejection do to a person?”, her experience will feel uncannily familiar.
Blending neuroscience and psychology, Alice explains:
How rejection affects the brain, including why social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical pain

How rejection makes you feel overwhelmed, foggy, or obsessive, and why these reactions are biological, not personal failures

Why you might handle rejection so badly, especially when fantasy, intensity, and uncertainty fuel attachment

How rejection affects mental health, including stress responses, rumination, and emotional dysregulation

How rejection can affect self-esteem and identity, even when the relationship was short or never fully formed

What constant rejection does to a person over time, and how it erodes confidence and connection

Alice also unpacks the psychology of idealization, intermittent reinforcement, imagined futures, and the collapse of emotional safety — offering a grounded explanation for why some rejections hurt more than “real” breakups.
Finally, she shares practical, evidence-based tools to help you rebuild resilience, calm your nervous system, and stop interpreting rejection as proof of inadequacy.
If you’ve ever asked yourself “why am I taking rejection so hard?”, “why do I handle rejection so badly?” or “what does rejection do to a person?”, this episode will help you understand your reactions — and give you a path to healing that doesn’t blame you for being human.

Resources:
Alice's Refinery29 article:
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2021/04/10403226/get-over-someone-you-never-dated
Eisenberger et al., 2003: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14551436
Eisenberger, 2012: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3273616
Kross et al., 2011: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3076808
Allen & Leary, 2010: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2914331
Koch, 2020: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01973533.2020.1726748
Beato et al., 2021: https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/4/2017
Stutts et al., 2022: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10653232
Baumeister et al., 2002: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11881675
Shields et al., 2016: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27474311
Fisher et al., 2010: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3612400
Hazan & Shaver, 1987 summary: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1988-13004-001

Chapters
00:00 Why Rejection Hurts More Than Logic Can Explain
02:00 Alice’s Story: A Pandemic Connection That Felt Real
05:00 How Rejection Affects the Brain Like Physical Pain
08:00 Why Rejection Makes You Spiral, Ruminate & Obsess
11:00 Dopamine, Fantasy & Why You Get Attached So Fast
14:00 What Constant Rejection Does to a Person
17:00 How Rejection Impacts Mental Health & Self-Esteem
20:00 Why Some Rejections Hit Harder Than Real Breakups
23:00 Tools for Recovery: Self-Compassion, Reframing & Regulation
27:00 Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken — You’re Human