My Rejection Story

• Jesse J. Anderson: "I Would Blow Up" — RSD & ADHD in Life, Marriage, & Friendships

  What if every tiny criticism (real or imagined) felt like a full-body betrayal?In this validating and deeply personal episode, ADHD educator and author Jesse J. Anderson joins Alice to unpack what rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) really feels like, and how it’s shaped his relationships, self-perception, and emotional responses.Jesse shares how RSD used to hijack his nervous system, leading to blow-ups in conversations with his wife and shame spirals that lasted for days. But over time, he’s learned to pause, name what’s happening, and create space for a different response.You’ll hear:How RSD distorts emotional cues and triggers emotional overwhelmWhy Jesse used to “blow up” and what he does differently nowThe therapist phrase that helped him access logic in the middle of a spiralWhat happens when ADHDers interpret normal conflict as deep rejectionWhy emotional regulation looks different for ADHD brains, and why it mattersHow Jesse’s layoff pushed him to lean on community instead of hidingThis episode is a must-listen for anyone with ADHD—or anyone who loves someone with it.Chapters:00:50 Intro02:21 Jesse on being the “bad kid” with undiagnosed ADHD05:33 What rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) actually feels like10:10 The therapist phrase that changed everything13:55 ADHD and marriage: how Jesse nearly blew it17:42 Learning to pause before blowing up21:05 Jesse’s “hand over mouth” moment23:18 Getting laid off and going public26:50 The healing power of community31:45 Why ADHD friendships often fall apart35:22 Jesse’s app idea for remembering friends38:10 Grieving the ADHD kid you were41:03 How Jesse shows up differently now45:12 Where to find Jesse and his workResources & Links:Jesse's book, Extra Focus: https://www.amazon.com/Extra-Focus-Quick-Start-Guide/dp/B0CGKL5FGFFollow Jesse on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdjesse/Follow Jesse's Substack: https://substack.com/@adhdjesse

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• Alice Draper: I Am Still Terrified Of Friendship Rejection. Here's How I Cope.

  Why do we still fear being left out, even in safe, loving friendships?In this solo episode, Alice opens up about a vivid dream that left her in tears and the deeper fears it uncovered. Despite being a grown adult with supportive relationships, her subconscious still clings to the belief that one day, the people she loves might just… stop loving her.This episode dives into the science behind social rejection, the wounds we carry from childhood friendship dynamics, and what rejection-sensitive dysphoria looks like in everyday life (yes, even in dreams). With warmth, insight, and zero toxic positivity, Alice shares how she copes when the fear of being unwanted comes roaring back.You’ll hear:Why our brains process rejection like physical painThe childhood friendship that left a mark—and still shows up in dreamsHow rejection-sensitive dysphoria impacts friendships and self-trustWhy “rejection = redirection” isn’t always helpfulPractical ways to cope with perceived rejection without spiralingWhy diversifying your identity makes rejection hurt lessThis one’s for anyone who’s ever walked away from a group hang wondering, “Did I say something wrong?” or reread a text thread five times to confirm they weren’t being iced out.Chapters:00:50 The dream that triggered this episode03:12 Why safe friendships still feel unsafe sometimes06:40 The science of rejection and why it physically hurts10:45 Childhood friendship wounds and feeling ousted15:05 Why I still carry those fears into adulthood17:00 Lessons from Sarah Rice on dealing with mass rejection20:22 How to cope when social media amplifies rejection23:05 You don’t need to find the lesson right away25:19 Feeling grief and gratitude at the same time28:14 Why nuance matters: people aren't all good or all bad31:08 Diversifying your identity to soften the sting34:35 Reflections on nine months of podcasting36:45 A thank you, and what's next for the showResources:Cyberball study on social rejection (a meta-analysis)My Rejection Story Interview with Whitney Goodman on Toxic PositivityAlice Draper's Interview on Sarah Rice's Podcast "This Changes Everything"Email Alice: [email protected]

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• Marina Iakovleva: "Buzzfeed Stole My Idea And Went Viral", Growing To 675K+ Subscribers, Dating Abroad, + More

  What would you do if a media giant stole your idea—and then went viral with it?In this deeply personal and surprisingly funny episode, Alice sits down with Marina Iakovleva, the creator of Dating Beyond Borders, a wildly popular YouTube channel with over 675,000 subscribers. Marina built her brand from a scrappy video experiment in Panama to a global platform exploring intercultural relationships—and she did it without a team, a big budget, or any media backing.But along the way, her ideas were copied by Buzzfeed and other production companies with massive teams and bigger marketing power. Instead of quitting, she pivoted—and found a new format that reignited her creativity and brought her closer to her audience than ever before.You’ll hear:How a three-day vacation romance inspired Marina’s entire businessWhat she did after Buzzfeed copied her video concept (and commenters said she was the copycat)Why she pivoted from studio shoots to street interviews—and never looked backHer honest take on the loneliness of digital nomad life and not having a place to call “home”Why you’re more attractive when you’re in a city you actually likeHow to make peace with fractured identity—and keep showing up anywayThis is an episode about content, connection, and carving your own lane when no one hands you a map.Chapters:00:50 Intro02:44 Being the anxious kid and earliest rejections05:53 Why teaching felt safe—but wrong08:13 Choosing regret minimization over predictability13:41 “Where do I belong?”—living between cultures24:49 The vacation romance that started it all27:40 How Sebastian the German became Marina’s origin story31:09 Building a business from rejection36:20 How she grew to 100K+ subscribers in under a year43:49 The Rebel Wilson problem—pivoting when your audience doesn’t want you to48:54 Buzzfeed, copycats, and being accused of stealing your own idea51:13 What to do when you’re the underdog in a production war56:25 Boundaries, burnout, and reactivity in business01:00:08 How Marina approaches content growth (and why obsession > perfection)01:05:16 Where to find Marina and hire her as a speakerMarina’s YouTube: Dating Beyond BordersMarina’s podcast: Dating Beyond Borders PodcastMarina’s book: Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in ScandinaviaSpeaking inquiries: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/marina-iakovleva-dbb

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• Tracy Otsuka: "ADHDers feel more emotion" & the Brain Science of Rejection

  Why does criticism feel like a punch to the gut when you have ADHD? And why do so many women with ADHD go undiagnosed for decades?In this bold and eye-opening episode, bestselling author and podcast host Tracy Otsuka joins Alice to unpack how rejection shows up in the ADHD brain, and why it’s often misunderstood, minimized, or masked.Tracy shares the brain science behind rejection-sensitive dysphoria, the gendered shame baked into our understanding of ADHD, and how her son’s diagnosis ultimately led to her own. You’ll hear candid stories of failure, identity shifts, and the powerful moment a psychologist told her to lower her expectations for her child.You’ll hear:What rejection does to the ADHD brain (and why your mind feels like it “goes offline”)The truth behind why girls often go undiagnosed until adulthoodHow masking, people-pleasing, and perfectionism fuel burnoutThe timer trick Tracy swears by for getting started (even when it feels impossible)Why ADHD is not a productivity problem—it’s an identity oneThis is an episode about shame, stigma, and how to rewrite your internal narrative, on your terms.Chapters:00:50 Intro01:18 The label 'too much' and early rejection03:38 Shame, gender norms, and ADHD in women06:53 What happens in the ADHD brain during rejection10:28 Learned helplessness and internalized criticism12:44 Why girls are misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression13:41 Hormones, dopamine, and maturity-onset ADHD17:02 Moving from inaction to identity-based action22:26 Fun, challenging, and social—the ADHD productivity trifecta25:52 Building a trustworthy identity with micro-habits30:31 Tracy’s time cube hack for procrastination35:00 How her son's diagnosis led to her own38:28 “Your son is too ambitious”—a psychologist’s rejection42:34 How diagnosis changed Tracy’s self-perception45:14 The rejection that comes from not trusting yourself50:50 Where to find Tracy and her workResources & Links:Tracy’s book: ADHD for Smart Ass WomenTracy’s podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass WomenWebsite & Programs: ADHDforSmartWomen.com

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• Jason Silver: Crashing A Startup & The Science of Enjoyment at Work

  What if success wasn't the reward for grinding through work—but the result of actually enjoying it?In this candid and deeply insightful episode, multi-time founder and former Airbnb leader Jason Silver joins Alice to unpack the often backwards narratives we hold about work, ambition, and rejection.Jason shares the raw story of crashing his startup—and the surprising way that failure led to a life-changing opportunity at Airbnb. He also dives into the neuroscience behind why so many people regret changing jobs, what "hedonic adaptation" has to do with your career dissatisfaction, and how he redefined productivity after a personal tragedy.You’ll hear:Why Jason believes enjoyment is a practice, not a perkHow he almost got fired after presenting the “perfect” plan to Airbnb leadershipA dead-simple question that helped him 9x his resultsThe personal loss that transformed how he approached work and lifePractical frameworks for finding more energy, meaning, and satisfaction in your current jobThis is an episode about failure, but also about designing a working life you don’t need to escape from.Chapters:00:50 Intro02:44 Why quitting your job doesn’t make you happier06:26 Hedonic adaptation at work09:22 The difference between fun and enjoyment13:34 Doing the same task differently19:45 The iPhone list exercise28:00 The 10x Airbnb challenge35:57 What would need to be true?41:46 Defining rejection43:52 Crashing a startup52:24 The grief that changed everything59:51 How Jason has changed1:03:13 Advice to enjoy growing a podcastResources & Links:Jason’s website: thejasonsilver.comJason’s book: Your Grass Is Greener – yourgrassisgreener.comFollow Jason on LinkedIn: Jason Silver

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