My Rejection Story

• Why Rejection Hurts So Much — And How To Recover

  Why does rejection hurt so intensely — even when the relationship was brief, online, or never fully real? Why do some rejections destabilize your entire sense of self while others barely register? In this solo episode, Alice breaks down exactly what rejection does to a person, why you may be taking rejection so hard, and how to recover with science-backed compassion.Alice opens with a story from early 2020: a fast, dopamine-fueled pandemic connection with someone she never met — and the emotional crash that followed when it abruptly ended. If you’ve ever wondered “why am I so hurt by rejection?”, “why do I get so hurt by rejection?” or “what does constant rejection do to a person?”, her experience will feel uncannily familiar.Blending neuroscience and psychology, Alice explains:How rejection affects the brain, including why social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical painHow rejection makes you feel overwhelmed, foggy, or obsessive, and why these reactions are biological, not personal failuresWhy you might handle rejection so badly, especially when fantasy, intensity, and uncertainty fuel attachmentHow rejection affects mental health, including stress responses, rumination, and emotional dysregulationHow rejection can affect self-esteem and identity, even when the relationship was short or never fully formedWhat constant rejection does to a person over time, and how it erodes confidence and connectionAlice also unpacks the psychology of idealization, intermittent reinforcement, imagined futures, and the collapse of emotional safety — offering a grounded explanation for why some rejections hurt more than “real” breakups.Finally, she shares practical, evidence-based tools to help you rebuild resilience, calm your nervous system, and stop interpreting rejection as proof of inadequacy.If you’ve ever asked yourself “why am I taking rejection so hard?”, “why do I handle rejection so badly?” or “what does rejection do to a person?”, this episode will help you understand your reactions — and give you a path to healing that doesn’t blame you for being human.Resources:Alice's Refinery29 article: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2021/04/10403226/get-over-someone-you-never-dated Eisenberger et al., 2003: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14551436Eisenberger, 2012: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3273616Kross et al., 2011: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3076808Allen & Leary, 2010: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2914331Koch, 2020: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01973533.2020.1726748Beato et al., 2021: https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/4/2017Stutts et al., 2022: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10653232Baumeister et al., 2002: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11881675Shields et al., 2016: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27474311Fisher et al., 2010: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3612400Hazan & Shaver, 1987 summary: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1988-13004-001Chapters00:00 Why Rejection Hurts More Than Logic Can Explain02:00 Alice’s Story: A Pandemic Connection That Felt Real05:00 How Rejection Affects the Brain Like Physical Pain08:00 Why Rejection Makes You Spiral, Ruminate & Obsess11:00 Dopamine, Fantasy & Why You Get Attached So Fast14:00 What Constant Rejection Does to a Person17:00 How Rejection Impacts Mental Health & Self-Esteem20:00 Why Some Rejections Hit Harder Than Real Breakups23:00 Tools for Recovery: Self-Compassion, Reframing & Regulation27:00 Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken — You’re Human

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• Loneliness in Dubai, Making Friends as an Adult, and Life as an Expat, featuring Afshan Nasseri

  In this episode, multicultural marketing strategist and founder of aam creative, Afshan Nasseri, joins Alice to unpack a quietly growing crisis among expats: the rise of loneliness in Dubai and the emotional reality of why it’s hard to make friends as an adult. Whether you’ve just moved to the UAE, you’re struggling to build community, or you feel disconnected despite being surrounded by people, Afshan brings language to something so many feel but rarely admit.Afshan’s story spans Boston, Montreal, India, Iran, and now Dubai. She grew up in a home overflowing with culture, community, and connection—yet found herself starting from zero when she moved here. From questioning who she could call when things went wrong to navigating a social landscape that can feel transactional, Afshan shares the truth most expats whisper only to themselves.If you’ve ever wondered how to make new friends as an adult, why Dubai can feel emotionally isolating even when it’s exciting, or what it actually takes to build deeper relationships here, this episode will resonate deeply.Afshan walks Alice through:Why so many people in Dubai feel lonely even when they “shouldn’t”How transient expat culture erodes community-building instinctsThe difference between coffee friends vs. friends you can rely onWhy adult friendship requires intentional vulnerability—and why that feels riskyHow making friends in Dubai often requires going first, being open, and allowing others inThe cultural pressures that make people hide their loneliness, especially in appearance-driven citiesWhat Afshan learned from teaching in rural India at 14—and how that shaped her identity todayHow her multicultural upbringing led to founding aam creative and advocating for authentic representationWhy showing up unfiltered online unexpectedly helped her form deeper offline friendshipsHow to spot the early signs of people you can build real connection with in DubaiAfshan also speaks candidly about the fear of being judged, the myth that everyone else has a thriving social circle, and the surprising truth: almost everyone is looking for meaningful connection… they’re just waiting for someone to go first.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating expat life, rebuilding their social world from scratch, or trying to understand why adulthood friendships require more courage—and more honesty—than we ever expected.Resources & Links📸 Instagram: @afshannasseri🌐 AAM Creative: https://www.aamcreative.co/

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• How to Negotiate with a Narcissist in Divorce, featuring Lisa Johnson

  In this episode, high-conflict divorce strategist and advocate Lisa Johnson joins Alice to unpack one of the most overwhelming and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: navigating divorce with a narcissist. Whether you're trying to divorce a narcissistic husband, divorce a narcissist wife, or find your footing after divorce after abusive marriage, Lisa offers clarity that is both deeply validating and strategically life-saving. Lisa’s story is astonishing: a 20-year relationship built on hidden lives and deception, a $100,000 divorce in year one, and nearly a decade of court battles where she eventually represented herself more than 100 times. Her testimony even helped pass Jennifer’s Law, expanding Connecticut’s legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control.If you’ve ever wondered what actually happens when you divorce a narcissist, why a narcissist during divorce behaves in ways that defy logic, or how to survive divorce mediation with a narcissist who lies, gaslights, and retaliates, this episode will finally make the chaos make sense.Lisa walks Alice through:The early grooming patterns that pull intelligent, grounded people into unhealthy bondsWhy those coming from religious environments face a unique layer of shame — especially in Christian divorce narcissist situations where community pressure insists you “stay no matter what”How coercive control erodes your authority, self-trust, and sense of realityWhat to expect in a divorce trial with a narcissisThe psychological fallout of emotional abuse divorce, including the self-blame, shock, and confusion that linger long after the separationHow to protect your children if you must divorce a narcissist with kids or divorce an abuser with kids,What to do if you’ve ended up with a divorce attorney narcissist who escalates conflict instead of reducing itLisa also reveals the hidden truth about high-conflict separation: the moment you leave is statistically the most dangerous. She offers a grounded path forward for anyone attempting to divorce a narcissist husband, divorce a narcissist wife, or rebuild themselves after decades of coercive control. She explains why you must be strategic—not emotional—and why the goal is not to “win,” but to get out with your sanity and safety intact.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce after abusive marriage, preparing for divorcing an abusive husband, or trying to understand how to make it out of a high-conflict situation with clarity, protection, and a plan.Resources & Links🌐 Find Lisa Johnson: https://beentheregotout.com📘 Been There, Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances📘 Been There, Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You🧠 Legal Abuse Support Group, Courses & Strategic Communication Training📸 Instagram: @been_there_got_outChapters:00:00 Lisa’s Story: A 20-Year Marriage Built on Secrets02:00 How Smart People End Up in Abusive Dynamics05:30 Coercive Control, Grooming & Denial08:10 Faith Communities & Christian Divorce Narcissist Pressures11:30 Emotional Abuse Divorce: The Invisible Damage15:00 When You Divorce a Narcissist: Why Everything Escalates18:40 Divorce a Narcissistic Husband / Divorce a Narcissist Wife22:00 Narcissist Divorce Strategy: Money, Kids, Court25:20 Divorce Mediation With a Narcissist: What Actually Works28:00 Divorce an Abuser With Kids: Safety, Threats & Manipulation31:10 Divorce a Narcissist With Kids: Protecting Them From Loyalty Warfare34:00 When Your Divorce Attorney Narcissist Makes Things Worse38:00 Divorce Trial With a Narcissist: Reality vs Fantasy41:40 Building Your Team (Therapist, DV Center, Strategist, Attorney)45:10 Leaving Safely: Exit Planning & Community Resources48:00 Negotiating Without Feeding Their Ego or Rage51:00 Divorce After Abusive Marriage: Rebuilding Yourself55:00 Lisa’s Resources for Anyone in High-Conflict Divorce

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• Narcissism Doctor: What Happens When You Reject A Narcissist (featuring Dr. Sterlin Mosely)

  In this episode, human relations professor and author Dr. Sterlin Mosley joins Alice to break down one of the most confusing and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: what happens when you reject a narcissist — romantically, sexually, emotionally, or otherwise.If you’ve ever wondered how to reject a narcissist safely, what narcissists do when you reject them, or why even highly intelligent people end up trapped in cycles of love bombing, self-doubt, and psychological whiplash, this conversation is going to hit with startling clarity.Sterlin opens with a statistic that flips the entire narrative on its head: while official numbers say 1–2% of people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the real number of people with significant narcissistic traits is likely closer to 8–10%. From there, he explains why NPD is so often undiagnosed, how narcissists take rejection, and why denial (“I’m not a narcissist!”) is often the most predictable response.Alice and Sterlin go deep into the relational fallout of setting boundaries — including when you reject a narcissist hoover and they attempt to pull you back, when you reject a narcissist sexually, and why narcissists often escalate, punish, or retaliate when their supply is cut off. Sterlin also breaks down the neurology behind the love bombing narcissist meaning — why it feels euphoric, addictive, and impossible to leave — and what to do when you're involved with a love bombing narcissist husband, partner, parent, or friend.For listeners dealing with covert narcissists, Sterlin explains why covert personalities are harder to identify, how they use vulnerability as manipulation, and how to reject a covert narcissist without getting caught in the guilt–shame–blame cycle.Most importantly, Sterlin offers grounded, non-sensationalized guidance on the best way to reject a narcissist, the emotional withdrawal that follows, and how to rebuild honesty, clarity, and safety in your own body again.This episode is a must-listen for anyone in a confusing relationship, navigating the aftermath of narcissistic rejection, or trying to understand why even the strongest people can get trapped in dynamics that erode their confidence, intuition, and well-being. It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered: If you reject a narcissist, what happens next — and how do you protect yourself in the process?Resources & Links🌐 Explore Dr. Sterlin Mosley’s work at http://sterlinmosley.com/📚 Read Center of the Universe: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/center-of-the-universe-9781538186435/📰 Subscribe to Sterlin’s Substack for deeper case studies and essays on narcissism: https://substack.com/@sterlinmosleyChapters00:00 Why So Many Narcissists Go Undiagnosed02:00 What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist05:00 Do Narcissists Deny Being a Narcissist?08:20 Why the DSM Gets Narcissism Wrong11:40 How Narcissists Take Rejection in Relationships14:00 The Reality of Rejecting a Covert Narcissist18:10 “Love Bombing” Explained — Neurology, Addiction & Fantasy22:30 When You Reject a Narcissist Sexually25:00 What to Do When You Reject a Narcissist After Betrayal28:40 The Narcissistic Hoover: Why They Pull You Back32:00 The Best Way to Reject a Narcissist Safely35:20 Trauma, Armoring & the Roots of Narcissistic Personality40:00 What Narcissists Do When You Reject Them (and Why)45:30 Breadcrumbing, Gaslighting, and DARVO50:00 Rebuilding Reality After Emotional Manipulation53:10 Why You Blame Yourself — and Why You Shouldn’t56:30 Choosing Yourself Again59:00 Sterlin’s Advice for Anyone Living in Narcissistic Chaos

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• Whitney Goodman: How To Deal With Toxic Positivity

  In this mini replay episode, therapist and bestselling author Whitney Goodman joins Alice for an unflinchingly honest conversation about toxic positivity — what it is, how it shows up, and why so many of us default to forced optimism instead of honest connection.Whitney Goodman, known online as @sitwithwit and the author behind the viral toxic positivity book, breaks down toxic positivity explained in a way that finally feels human. She talks about how social media has turned everyday life into a public performance, why people feel pressure to appear happy even when they’re not, and how positivity becomes harmful when it’s used to deny the full emotional experience.Alice and Whitney walk through the central question: what is toxic positivity, really? Whitney explains why phrases like “just stay positive,” “everything happens for a reason,” or “you’ll learn from this one day” often make people feel worse, not better. They discuss how these responses are usually rooted in fear — fear of uncertainty, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of sitting with someone else’s pain.The conversation also explores the nuanced difference between toxic positivity vs optimism — and why healthy positivity leaves space for grief, frustration, and disappointment instead of covering them with a motivational bow.Drawing from stories in Whitney’s book, Alice and Whitney discuss how early childhood messages around “not being sensitive,” “not crying,” or “being strong” can lead adults to suppress emotions, over-function, or rely on cheerfulness as a shield. Whitney explains how toxicity and positivity often intertwine when people are taught that expressing negative feelings is dangerous or shameful.You’ll hear Whitney break down the science of emotional suppression — how unprocessed feelings often show up in physical symptoms like sleep issues, irritability, or trouble concentrating. She also shares why some people fear joy, why others numb sadness, and why emotional awareness is a skill, not a personality trait.They also explore the subtle ways people use work, productivity, travel, or “keeping busy” as a socially rewarded form of avoidance, and how to check in with yourself to know if you’re genuinely thriving or simply distracting yourself.This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt guilty for struggling, pressured to be grateful in the middle of something hard, or frustrated by the “good vibes only” culture online. If you’ve ever wondered why forced optimism feels empty — or why suppressing your feelings only makes them louder — this toxic positivity podcast episode will feel grounding, compassionate, and clarifying.Resources & Links:Visit Whitney’s community Calling Home: callinghome.coFind Whitney on Instagram: @sitwithwitInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sitwithwhitTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whitneygoodmanlmftChapters:00:00 The Pressure to Look Happy02:00 Why We Rarely Share the Hard Parts Online05:45 The Problem with “Everything Happens for a Reason”08:40 Why Meaning-Making Only Works When It Comes From Within11:00 Positivity as a Defense Mechanism13:30 When Optimism Becomes Denial16:00 The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Emotions18:40 Using Work or Productivity to Avoid Hard Feelings21:00 Why Some People Fear Joy23:30 Our Fear of Uncertainty26:00 What We Can and Can’t Control28:00 How to Support Others Without Dismissing Their Pain30:00 Whitney’s Work, Book, and Where to Find Her

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