Whitney Goodman: How To Deal With Toxic Positivity
In this mini replay episode, therapist and bestselling author Whitney Goodman joins Alice for an unflinchingly honest conversation about toxic positivity — what it is, how it shows up, and why so many of us default to forced optimism instead of honest connection.Whitney Goodman, known online as @sitwithwit and the author behind the viral toxic positivity book, breaks down toxic positivity explained in a way that finally feels human. She talks about how social media has turned everyday life into a public performance, why people feel pressure to appear happy even when they’re not, and how positivity becomes harmful when it’s used to deny the full emotional experience.Alice and Whitney walk through the central question: what is toxic positivity, really? Whitney explains why phrases like “just stay positive,” “everything happens for a reason,” or “you’ll learn from this one day” often make people feel worse, not better. They discuss how these responses are usually rooted in fear — fear of uncertainty, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of sitting with someone else’s pain.The conversation also explores the nuanced difference between toxic positivity vs optimism — and why healthy positivity leaves space for grief, frustration, and disappointment instead of covering them with a motivational bow.Drawing from stories in Whitney’s book, Alice and Whitney discuss how early childhood messages around “not being sensitive,” “not crying,” or “being strong” can lead adults to suppress emotions, over-function, or rely on cheerfulness as a shield. Whitney explains how toxicity and positivity often intertwine when people are taught that expressing negative feelings is dangerous or shameful.You’ll hear Whitney break down the science of emotional suppression — how unprocessed feelings often show up in physical symptoms like sleep issues, irritability, or trouble concentrating. She also shares why some people fear joy, why others numb sadness, and why emotional awareness is a skill, not a personality trait.They also explore the subtle ways people use work, productivity, travel, or “keeping busy” as a socially rewarded form of avoidance, and how to check in with yourself to know if you’re genuinely thriving or simply distracting yourself.This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt guilty for struggling, pressured to be grateful in the middle of something hard, or frustrated by the “good vibes only” culture online. If you’ve ever wondered why forced optimism feels empty — or why suppressing your feelings only makes them louder — this toxic positivity podcast episode will feel grounding, compassionate, and clarifying.Resources & Links:Visit Whitney’s community Calling Home: callinghome.coFind Whitney on Instagram: @sitwithwitInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sitwithwhitTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whitneygoodmanlmftChapters:00:00 The Pressure to Look Happy02:00 Why We Rarely Share the Hard Parts Online05:45 The Problem with “Everything Happens for a Reason”08:40 Why Meaning-Making Only Works When It Comes From Within11:00 Positivity as a Defense Mechanism13:30 When Optimism Becomes Denial16:00 The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Emotions18:40 Using Work or Productivity to Avoid Hard Feelings21:00 Why Some People Fear Joy23:30 Our Fear of Uncertainty26:00 What We Can and Can’t Control28:00 How to Support Others Without Dismissing Their Pain30:00 Whitney’s Work, Book, and Where to Find Her
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