Congo Kid - Life Stories

This is part 5 of 5 of the series titled: The Boarding School Dilemma – Balancing Mission and Family – The Conclusion: Moving Forward From Here. This series started with laying out the challenges and issues of reconciling mission and family when sending kids away to a boarding school was the only option and explored various dimensions in the subsequent episodes.  The Ubangi Academy (UBAC) institution was explained in Episode 2.  Also the Parent’s viewpoint – how they struggled with separating their families in Episode 3 and that was followed by the Kids viewpoint and shared a range of experiences at the dorm in Episode 4. This final episode shares the take-aways and conclusions from the previous episodes and all that’s been learned. In addition, recommendations for how kids and parents can start a dialogue to reach understanding of how each side experienced and approached this challenging dilemma. I’m joined by Heidi Tunberg, a licensed counselor and also a coordinator for Missionary Kids (MK’s) to help them with their cultural issues when they return to the United States after years in a foreign country.  She provides insight to all UBAC (and dorm) attendees on how to move forward from our experience and to build on who we are because of it. What character traits prevail amongst dorm attendees and MK’s, and how we can use those to maximize our life as adults are discussed.  A Testimonial is shared by Lynda Garber relating to how she learned to accept her rough childhood, and move forward. Then Anonymous shares about seeking counseling to learn how to accept his parent’s actions, as his dorm experience was difficult, and to forgive and move forward with his life. Thanks to Dan Carlson for his insight for this episode, as well as Rick Selin for his voice-over for the Anonymous testimonial. And to the numerous folks that sent in surveys, provided information via email, texts and phone calls, I thank you as well as this gave a broader spectrum of input and content for this entire series. And my final Thank you goes to my four(4) Advisors that have read every word of my five (5) scripts, listened to every word of this audio series to ensure that all is presented fairly, objectively,and with the proper message: Understanding, healing, and restoration for parents and kids that need to bridge any gaps. They invested countless hours and provided considerable input to all 5 episodes in this series. Doug Thorpe,PhD., Carolyn Stoker, Dan Hiegel, and Malcolm MacLeod – all provided invaluable input to help make these episodes what they are. Thank you.  May all who listen have learned greater understanding of what Parents and Kids went through from the boarding school experience and the dilemma of balancing Mission and Family. Boarding the Self – Mission Boarding School Experience – Doctoral Dissertation by Doug Thorpe – 1994 Recommended blog article by Michele Phoenix: ATTACHMENT STYLES & THE FAITH OF MKs **Rated in 2024 to the TOP 25 Best “Life Stories” Themed Podcasts Worldwide – https://blog.feedspot.com/life_stories_podcasts/

Kids and a few parents – Heading to UBAC Band Concert at UBAC Graduation Processional This is part 4 of a 5 part series, titled: The Boarding School Dilemma – Balancing Mission and Family – The Kids’ Viewpoint. So far in this series, you learned about the challenges of handling the dilemma of serving in missions while sending your children to a boarding school for 8-10 weeks at a time. That was followed with an episode describing the Ubangi Academy (UBAC) and how the school and dormitory ran and functioned. Then the parents viewpoint was Episode 3, and their struggles in justifying their ministries while separating their families. This episode will focus on the kids. I interview 3 kids that entered the UBAC experience at differing ages and from different background circumstances. In addition, I cite numerous comments from the surveys I’d circulated to dorm attendees, to get a broad spectrum of experiences and perspectives. What is clear, is that especially for the young children sent away, many experienced emotional and physical trauma. Others fared well and thrived in the environment and have no negative feelings as adults as to the experience. Many positives from the dorm tenure led to life traits, character building and shaped people as adults. Others struggled into adulthood from some negative aspects of the dorm experience and their stories are shared as well. Special thanks to my interviewees: Peter Eales, Peter Transburg, and Tom Peters. Also, thanks to Lynda Garber, Brad Cairns, Jeff Aiken, and Christine Thorpe for their audio clips. Thanks too for the kids that returned the surveys, and the numerous voice-over contributors to quote the survey responses from many others. **Rated in 2024 to the TOP 25 Best “Life Stories” Themed Podcasts Worldwide – https://blog.feedspot.com/life_stories_podcasts/

Parents watching band concert Kids loading into the plane for return to UBAC Truck loaded with kids heading back to UBAC This is part 3 of a 5 part series titled: The Boarding School Dilemma – Balancing Mission and Family – The Parents’ Viewpoint.  Part 1 laid out the dilemma of the issue and how few parents have discussed the experience with their children. This was followed by Part 2 that drilled down into the Ubangi Academy (UBAC), which was the school we attended, along with the dormitory facilities, routines, and culture. This episode focuses on the Parents. How did they handle and reconcile with sending their children away? I interview several parents: one who was a UBAC attendee, then as an adult, sent his children to the dorm, thus experiencing both sides of the equation. The second interviewee sent his kids away to UBAC then became the dorm parent for a period of time. And the third interviewee, Anonymous, also shares some viewpoints. Most parents grieved and struggled with sending their children away, and prayed for the best. Many made extra efforts for spending quality family time during vacations. Others tried to visit mid-term when they could. But all parents knew it was a sacrifice that would impact their family, to serve in Congo, while sending their children away to boarding school.  In Part 4, kids are interviewed and you will hear from them about the experience. And the final episode will be a wrap up and take-away of what we can learn about all of this and how to move forward. Special thanks to Kim Cone, Jim Snyder, and Anonymous for being interviewed for this episode. Thanks too to Ruth Hill for her comments and insights. Also, appreciation is extended to those who returned the surveys as numerous responses were used in this episode to round it out. **Rated in 2024 to the TOP 25 Best “Life Stories” Themed Podcasts Worldwide – https://blog.feedspot.com/life_stories_podcasts/

Dorm Kids / Congolese soccer team UBAC Class of 1983 – With their parents Outhouse door with numerous inscriptions of love and couples Ubangi Academy – School building This is part 2 of a 5 part series, titled : The Boarding School Dilemma – Balancing Mission and Family – The Ubangi Academy.  Part 1 shared about the dilemma of serving in missions and family separation of a boarding school for their children’s education. It posed various questions and laid the path forward for this series. In this episode you will hear about the Ubangi Academy (UBAC), located at Karawa in D.R. Congo as a school and dorm environment. This boarding school housed 30-45 kids each year, grades 2 through 12. It was a complex and structured environment with children, ranging from ages 7 to 18. The schedule, rules, pressures, social constructs, expectations for behavior, chores, cultures, and sub-cultures will be explored in detail so the listener can understand the environment of the children that grew up there. This episode also shares about the benefits of being in an environment with numerous other children, games, play time, being in band and choir, school plays, sports and other activities. Also, many deep friendships were formed at UBAC that still remain strong even today. This episode will hopefully provide context and understanding of what it was like for someone living in this dormitory and school environment. Future episodes will feature the parents’ perspective of sending their children away, followed by kids that attended UBAC and their experiences. The wrap up episode will be the take-aways and how to move forward using our dorm experiences for a fulfilling life. Enjoy listening to what was the Ubangi Academy. **Rated in 2024 to the TOP 25 Best “Life Stories” Themed Podcasts Worldwide – https://blog.feedspot.com/life_stories_podcasts/

Dorm view of Tennis court – Ubangi Academy, D.R. Congo View of soccer fields – Ubangi Academy, D.R. Congo Aerial View of the Dorm and School Many people feel God’s call to serve in missions. With that is the responsibility of raising their children and ensuring they are educated. This can prove challenging, depending on the foreign country one goes to. In my case, I was sent to the Ubangi Academy (UBAC) in Congo as an 8 year old.  The school served grades 2 through 12, with a rigorous curriculum. Normally there were 40-50 in total attendance, with most living in the dormitory, adjacent to the school. How did parents rationalize sending their kids away, starting as young as 7 years old, for 8 to 10 weeks at a time? How did the children fare? Many struggled, and have residual trauma into adulthood. I sent surveys to parents and kids alike and determined that very few kids and parents have discussed the experience. Furthermore, many kids don’t want to revisit that part of their childhood. This is part 1 of a 5 part series, to introduce the topic and lay out the challenges for parents and kids alike. It will discuss the elephant in the room, which is: how come so few families have talked about this experience that was extremely impactful on the children. Then, the Ubangi Academy, as an institution will be discussed in more detail in part 2. The routine, expectations, schedule, culture and subcultures will be explained. Then in part 3, how parents handled the challenge of separating their families and trusting that their children were adjusting well and being well cared for will be the topic.  Part 4 will be interviewing kids and their experience of the dorm ecosystem, emotional damage incurred, and how they adapted to dorm culture. Most listeners will be surprised at how most children look back at the experience. The final episode will be a summary and discuss the takeaways learned from all the interviews and surveys. And recommendations on how the kids can move forward using the positives and negatives from the experience for a better life as adults. The dilemma of balancing mission and family is very complex and controversial. I hope you join for the journey for the 5 episodes to hear the broad spectrum of perspectives on this most important issue.  Special thanks to Roger and Sally Eales for sharing how they looked at the role of UBAC in their family’s life. Also Jeff Aiken provides his take on UBAC and its impact on his life as an attendee and then as an adult. **Rated in 2024 to the TOP 25 Best “Life Stories” Themed Podcasts Worldwide – https://blog.feedspot.com/life_stories_podcasts/