Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

Are We Raising Capable Teens—or Making Life Too Easy for Them?

What if one of the biggest things standing between our teenagers and independence… is us?
In this no-filter conversation, Cheryl sits down with Michael Scheller, founder of Astute Academics and an educational consultant with more than 15 years of experience working with students and families.
And fair warning: this conversation goes everywhere.
From phones and social media to AI, academic pressure, gentle parenting, failure, accountability, resilience and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes our teenagers need us to step back rather than step in.
Michael and Cheryl don't agree on everything—and that's exactly what makes this conversation so good.
Because parenting teenagers isn't about finding the one "right" answer.
It's about being willing to question what we're doing, examine our own values, and ask:

Are we actually preparing our kids for adulthood—or are we making their lives so manageable that they never get the chance to manage them themselves?
In this episode, we talk about:
Why teenagers need opportunities to fail, struggle and figure things out
Whether we're protecting our kids from discomfort at the expense of resilience
The difference between acknowledging your teen's feelings and letting their feelings dictate the outcome
Why accountability is a skill teenagers need to practice—not something we can simply demand
Cell phones, social media and how much access teenagers really need
The importance of parents deciding their own technology values instead of looking outside themselves for validation
How excessive screen time may be affecting learning, attention and independence
Why reading still matters in an increasingly digital world
AI and teenagers: when it can support learning and when it simply does the thinking for them
Why using AI to write your teen's paper may solve today's problem while creating a much bigger problem tomorrow
The difference between using AI as a collaborator and pressure tester versus using it as a replacement for thinking
Why parents need to stop rescuing their teenagers from every uncomfortable consequence
What sports, competition and losing can teach teenagers about resilience
Why "everybody gets a trophy" can sometimes rob kids of the opportunity to experience disappointment
The importance of parents modeling accountability by saying "I was wrong. I'm sorry."
Why apologizing to your teenager isn't weakness—it's leadership
How parents can teach their kids to disagree without needing to prove the other person wrong
Why we need to raise teenagers who can think, question, communicate and solve problems, not simply get the answer

One of the biggest takeaways

You can have your teen's back without carrying them.
You can acknowledge that something is hard without removing the hard thing.
You can say:
"That sucks. I know you're disappointed. And I'm still not fixing it for you."
Because sometimes the most powerful message we can give our teenagers is:
"I know you can handle this. And I'm not going to take that opportunity away from you."
About Michael Scheller
Michael Scheller is the founder of Astute Academics and an educational consultant who has spent more than 15 years working with students and families. His work focuses on academics, educational strategy, student development and helping families navigate the increasingly complicated world of education.
Connect with Michael
Michael can be reached through LinkedIn or at Astute Academics.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-scheller-994b53a5/

About Cheryl Pankhurst
Cheryl Pankhurst is an Educational Strategist & Family Advocate with more than 25 years of experience in education, including extensive experience supporting teenagers with learning differences, ADHD, autism, anxiety and other educational needs.
Through Insight to Impact, Cheryl helps parents understand the school system, interpret assessments, navigate IEPs and school meetings, advocate effectively, and support their teenagers without taking over.
Learn more and connect with Cheryl at CherylPankhurst.com.
If your teen is struggling at school, navigating a new diagnosis, or you need help figuring out what to do next, Cheryl offers educational consulting and 90-day advocacy support.
If this episode resonated with you...
Follow or subscribe to Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for Today's World, share this episode with another parent, and leave a review.
And remember:
You are not failing because you don't have all the answers. You're a parent who is still trying to figure it out.
You don't have to do this alone.

Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for Today’s World with Cheryl Pankhurst
What happens when your child receives an ADHD or autism diagnosis—and suddenly the future you imagined for your family feels uncertain?
In this deeply honest conversation, Cheryl Pankhurst talks with Nadia Patel, high-performance identity coach, speaker, and mother of two neurodivergent children, about the emotional side of parenting that doesn't get talked about enough.
Because a diagnosis doesn't just change what you understand about your child.
Sometimes, it changes how you see yourself.
Nadia shares her personal journey through parenting ADHD and autism, including the shock of diagnosis, parental grief, burnout, fear about the future, financial and family pressures, and the realization that she needed to work on her own emotional regulation before she could fully support her children.
And this conversation gets real.
We talk about the thoughts parents may be afraid to admit: What does this mean for my child's future? What does this mean for my career? What will this do to our marriage? Will our family ever feel normal again?
Those thoughts don't make you a bad parent.
They make you human.
But what we do with those thoughts matters.
Nadia explains how shifting her own identity changed the way she experienced her son's autism and ADHD—and how she moved from seeing the challenges as something that was bigger than her to becoming someone who could hold both her family and the life she still wanted to create.
Cheryl and Nadia also discuss why parents need to be careful about spending too much time in online parenting groups, consuming worst-case scenarios about autism and ADHD, and worrying about problems that may never happen.
For parents of neurodivergent children and teens, this episode is a reminder that your child's diagnosis is not the end of their story—and it doesn't have to be the end of yours either.
In this episode, we talk about:
What parents may experience emotionally after an ADHD or autism diagnosis
The grief that can accompany a diagnosis—and why talking about it doesn't mean you don't accept your child
The difference between accepting your child and worrying about how the world will treat them
Parenting burnout and why parental regulation matters
How a parent's internal view of their child can influence the way that child experiences themselves
The identity shift that can happen when you're parenting a neurodivergent child
ADHD and autism parenting challenges
How parents can hold space for their child's needs without putting their own dreams and identity on hold
Finding practical support when you're overwhelmed
Why asking for help is not failure
The impact of neurodivergence on siblings, marriage, finances and family life
Why online parenting communities can sometimes increase anxiety instead of reducing it
The importance of staying grounded in the present instead of constantly worrying about your child's future
Why your child's diagnosis does not mean you have to abandon the life you want
A message for the parent listening
If you've ever thought, “I don't know how we're going to do this,” you're not alone.
And if you've had thoughts or feelings that you don't feel comfortable admitting out loud, that doesn't automatically make you a bad parent.
You may simply need somewhere safe to process what you're carrying.
As Nadia says, getting support for yourself can be one of the most important things you do for your child.
And Cheryl's reminder throughout this podcast is simple:
It's not them. It's you—and that's where the magic happens.
Not because your teen or child is the problem.
Because sometimes changing the way we understand ourselves, our children and the situation we're facing changes everything.
About Nadia Patel
Nadia Patel is a high-performance identity coach, speaker and mother of two neurodivergent children. Her work focuses on identity, self-belief, confidence and the internal shifts that can help people create meaningful change in their careers, relationships, businesses and lives.
Find Nadia at nadiapatelcoaching.com.
About Cheryl Pankhurst
Cheryl Pankhurst is an Educational Strategist and Family Advocate with more than 25 years of experience supporting teenagers, families and schools. Her work includes neurodivergent teens, ADHD, autism, psycho-educational assessments, IEPs, school advocacy and the transition through high school.
If your teenager is struggling at school, you've received a new diagnosis, you're trying to understand an assessment, or you need help navigating the school system, visit CherylPankhurst.com.

#NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDParenting #AutismParenting #ParentingTeens #ParentingTeenagers

#ParentingTeens #TeenParenting #ExecutiveFunctioning #ADHDParenting #NeurodivergentTeens #TeenMentalHealth #TimeBlindness #ParentingADHD #TeenDevelopment #ExecutiveFunctioningSkills #ParentingSupport #NeurodivergentParenting #ParentingPodcast #Teenagers #EducationalAdvocacy
Have you ever wondered how your teenager can spend hours gaming, scrolling TikTok, or hanging out with friends—but somehow can't get ready for school, start their homework, remember what they need, or get out the door on time?
And then you find yourself thinking:
“They can do it when they want to. So why won't they do it?”
What if the problem isn't motivation, laziness, defiance, or not caring?
In this episode of Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World, I sit down with Dr. Anna Levy-Warren, licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, founder of Organizational Tutors, and an expert in executive functioning, to unpack what's really happening underneath these everyday struggles.
With more than 20 years of experience working in psychology and education—and as a parent herself—Anna brings both professional expertise and lived experience to this conversation.
What you'll learn about executive functioning
Executive functioning isn't one single skill. It's an interconnected set of cognitive processes that help us manage things like:
Working memory
Self-regulation
Mental flexibility
Planning
Task initiation
Decision-making
Time management
Attention
Organization
Goal-setting
And when these skills are developing differently, the impact can show up everywhere—not just at school.
Why can your teen remember every song but forget three instructions?
We talk about the difference between long-term memory and working memory, and why a teenager can remember an incredible amount of information but still forget what you just asked them to do.
“Go get ready for school” might sound like one simple instruction to a parent.
For a teen with working-memory challenges, it can actually contain a whole series of steps that are difficult to hold onto and execute.
Is your teen experiencing time blindness?
If you're sitting in the car with the engine running while your teenager is still inside getting ready, this part of the conversation is for you.
Anna explains time blindness and why some teens don't experience time in the same way their parents do.
We talk about:
Working backwards from a deadline
Building in extra time
Using alarms and visual reminders
Creating routines collaboratively
Reducing verbal reminders
Helping teens build their own systems rather than constantly managing them
Stop calling it laziness
One of the biggest themes in this conversation is the difference between “won't” and “can't yet.”
A teen may genuinely want to do something and still struggle to initiate it, organize it, estimate the time required, or shift away from something they are deeply engaged in.
And yes, your teen may be able to play video games for three hours.
That doesn't necessarily mean they are capable of transferring that same level of attention and executive functioning to a math assignment.
Motivation isn't the whole story
We also challenge the idea that a teenager is simply “motivated” when they want to do something and “unmotivated” when they don't.
Adults work this way too.
There are things we can do for hours because we enjoy them—and things we procrastinate on despite knowing they need to be done.
So what happens when we stop treating our teenagers like they're deliberately making our lives difficult and start looking at what support the task actually requires?
Your teen's chronological age isn't necessarily their developmental age
A 16-year-old is chronologically 16.
But their executive functioning skills don't necessarily develop in a perfectly linear way.
Your teen might be incredibly mature in one area and need significantly more scaffolding in another.
We talk about why parents need to look at the developmental skill required by the task, rather than simply assuming that a teenager should be able to do something because of their age.
Executive functioning affects more than school
We also explore how executive functioning can affect:
Friendships and social relationships
Social media use
Phone regulation
Impulsivity
Planning social activities
Extracurricular activities
Sleep
Eating
Future planning
College preparation
Emotional regulation
Knowing when to stop
What should parents do instead?
This conversation is packed with practical strategies, including:
Collaborate instead of command.
Instead of putting the problem between you and your teen, put the problem in front of both of you and work on it together.
Use visual cues.
Post-it notes, calendars, written instructions, alarms and other visual systems can reduce the endless parent-teen verbal ping-pong.
Talk less when everyone is activated.
When your teenager's nervous system is overwhelmed, more talking usually isn't the answer.
Work backwards.
Start with the time your teen needs to be somewhere and work backwards to determine when they need to begin getting ready.
Build the system with your teen.
The goal isn't for you to become your teenager's external executive functioning system forever. It's to gradually help them develop systems they can eventually use independently.
The family calendar
Anna has a particular obsession with the family calendar—and after this conversation, I can see why.
A shared visual calendar can help teenagers anticipate what's coming, understand competing demands, see how much time they actually have, and participate in planning their own lives.
Instead of:
“You have a test Monday!”
Try:
“Let's look at the week together. You have a test, you want to see your friends, and we have Grandma's birthday. How can we make all of this work?”
That's the shift.
From control → collaboration.
From consequences → curiosity.
From telling → problem-solving together.
About Dr. Anna Levy-Warren
Dr. Anna Levy-Warren is a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, and founder of Organizational Tutors, a company that connects students and families with customized executive functioning support.
Her work focuses on helping young people develop the skills they need to navigate academics, relationships, emotional growth, organization, and everyday life.
Connect with Dr. Anna
Learn more about Dr. Anna Levy-Warren and Organizational Tutors through the link in the episode resources.
Connect with Cheryl
I'm Cheryl Pankhurst, Educational Strategist and Family Advocate, and host of Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World.
If your teenager is struggling at school, navigating a new diagnosis, transitioning to high school, or you need help understanding assessments, IEPs, accommodations, or how to advocate effectively within the school system, you can work with me directly.
Visit CherylPankhurst.com to learn more and book a complimentary consultation.
And remember:
It's not them. It's you. And that's where the magic happens.
If this episode gave you a different way to understand your teenager, share it with another parent. You never know who needs to hear that their teen isn't simply being lazy, defiant, or unmotivated.

Dr. Michelle Machado is an international keynote speaker, author, human performance strategist and creator of the Human Connection Framework™. Recognized for her dynamic presence as a 2x TEDx speaker, Dr. Machado is a trusted voice on connection and self-leadership in an always-on world. Her work has been featured in Forbes, USA Today, MSN, The Economic Times and Business Insider.

She has also delivered high-impact keynotes for Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit audiences. With a PhD, MBA, and two decades of leadership in universities spanning Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, and the UK, Dr. Machado uniquely blends neuroscience and lived experience to challenge the epidemic of disconnection. She empowers high-achievers to reclaim attention, presence and fulfilment beginning with reconnection to self. Her practical approach has made her a sought-after advisor to leaders worldwide who are ready to transform how they live, work, and lead in a rapidly changing world.

In her upcoming book, Alive Again: 4 Steps to Reclaim Your Life in a Distracted World, Dr. Machado makes the case that high-performance leadership and lasting impact are impossible without first mastering internal alignment, because the way we lead ourselves ultimately defines how we lead others.

LinkedIn and IG (drmichellemachado). Website: https://michelledmachado.com

What if the biggest influence on your teenager isn’t what you’re saying to them—but what they’re watching you do?
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Michelle Machado and I get into the messy, complicated reality of parenting teenagers in a world that neither of us grew up in.
We talk about social media, screen time, comparison, authenticity, resilience, human connection, nervous-system regulation, and the pressure parents feel to keep their kids constantly busy and entertained.
And yes, we talk about phones.
Because today’s parents are navigating something completely different from the world we grew up in. Our kids can carry school drama, friendship problems, comparison, cyberbullying and social pressure straight into their bedrooms—and onto the dinner table—24/7.
But this conversation isn't about blaming parents.
It's about getting curious.
Dr. Michelle shares why she believes human connection has three critical layers: connection to self, connection to others, and connection to the world and a greater sense of purpose.
We also talk about what authenticity actually looks like for our kids—and how easily we can confuse our idea of who they should be with their emerging identity.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why teenagers need to develop their own authentic identity
The difference between advocating for your child and allowing them to become themselves
How parents can model authenticity instead of simply talking about it
Why “pick your battles” matters when parenting teens
Social media, comparison and the impact of constant digital stimulation
Why “everyone else has a phone” is such a difficult parenting conversation
How to talk to a teenager who is already using social media
Why education and buy-in may work better than simply taking the phone away
The importance of teaching kids to compare themselves with their previous selves—not everyone else
Why boredom is actually an important part of childhood
The pressure parents feel to keep their kids constantly busy
What our own hustle, stress and constant stimulation are teaching our children
Why parents need white space too
Setting boundaries when you're exhausted and overwhelmed
The idea that “your calm is contagious—and so is your chaos”
How children can learn to recognize when they need to “recharge”
Why vulnerability can completely change a difficult conversation with your teenager
One of my favourite moments is Michelle's reminder that we don't have to force our children to change.
We can invite them to consider another perspective.
That distinction matters.
Our teenagers are becoming their own people. Our job isn't to control every choice they make. It's to give them the values, critical thinking, self-awareness and relationship with us that they can carry with them when we're no longer standing beside them.
And sometimes, that means knowing which hill is actually worth dying on.
A conversation every parent of a teenager needs to hear.
If you've ever found yourself wondering:
“Did I already screw this up?”
“How do I get my kid off their phone?”
“Why are they comparing themselves to everyone?”
“Am I parenting from my values—or from fear?”
“What am I actually modeling for my teenager?”
—you are not alone.
And you're not failing because you're still trying to figure it out.
About Dr. Michelle Machado
Dr. Michelle Machado is an international speaker, TEDx presenter, medical educator and founder of the Human Connection Framework. With more than two decades of experience in education and leadership across multiple countries, her work focuses on the connection between mindset, identity, human potential and meaningful human connection.
Her book, Alive Again: Four Steps to Reclaim Your Life in a Distracted World, explores what happens when our external lives look successful while internally we feel disconnected—and how we begin to reconnect with ourselves.
Find Michelle at michellmachado.com and connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram at Dr. Michelle Machado.
Resources mentioned
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
Michelle also recommends exploring Jonathan Haidt's work and the research surrounding children, smartphones, social media and mental health.

If this episode resonated with you:
Subscribe or follow the podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with another parent who is trying to navigate the teenage years without losing themselves—or their relationship with their kid.
And if your teenager is struggling at school, navigating a new diagnosis, or you need help understanding assessments, IEPs, school meetings or high-school transitions, you can work with me directly through educational consulting or my 90-day advocacy program.
Visit CherylPankhurst.com to learn more and book a complimentary consultation.
Because parenting teens is fricking hard.
But you do not have to figure it out alone.
I got you.

#ParentingTeens #TeenParenting #ParentingTeenagers #SocialMediaAndTeens #TeenMentalHealth #ScreenTime #TeenagersAndTechnology #ParentingAdvice #ConnectedParenting #AuthenticParenting #TeenResilience #HumanConnection #DigitalParenting #ParentingPodcast #AnxiousGeneration #ParentingInTodaysWorld #TeenIdentity #ParentingSupport #NeurodivergentTeens #CherylPankhurst

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Parents often believe their teenager's emotional struggles began during adolescence.
But what if the roots started much earlier?
In this fascinating conversation, Cheryl Pankhurst sits down with birth trauma expert Sharon King to explore how our earliest experiences—even before birth—may influence connection, emotional regulation, trust, independence, and relationships throughout life.
Together they discuss how sibling birth order, early attachment, separation after birth, and childhood experiences can leave lasting emotional imprints that sometimes reappear during the teenage years.
Whether you're parenting a struggling teen or simply want to deepen your understanding of child development, this episode offers a completely different perspective on connection and healing.
In this episode you'll learn:
✔️ Why the arrival of a new sibling can feel like loss for an older child
✔️ How early attachment influences trust later in life
✔️ Birth order and how it may shape personality
✔️ Why some teens become fiercely independent or emotionally withdrawn
✔️ The surprising connection between childhood experiences and teenage behaviour
✔️ Practical ways parents can repair connection—even years later
✔️ The power of genuine apologies and emotional validation
✔️ Why listening with your heart changes everything
About Today's Guest
Sharon King is an international trainer in energy psychology, bestselling author of Heal Your Birth, Heal Your Life, and founder of Magical New Beginnings. Her work focuses on healing birth trauma, attachment wounds, and early childhood experiences for both mothers and children.

Could your teenager's emotional struggles actually begin before they could even talk?
In this powerful episode, parenting expert Cheryl Pankhurst interviews internationally recognized birth trauma specialist Sharon King about the surprising ways pregnancy, birth experiences, early attachment, and sibling relationships may shape our children's emotional lives decades later.
If you've ever wondered why your teen seems distant, struggles with trust, becomes easily triggered, or pushes you away, this conversation may completely change the way you understand their behaviour.
Whether you agree with every perspective or simply want to explore another lens on childhood development, this episode will leave you thinking differently about connection, healing, and parenting.
If this episode resonates with you, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who needs to hear this conversation.
Sharon King is an international trainer of energy psychology techniques for transforming trauma and living a more joyful, connected, and empowered life. One of her specialties is working with pre and perinatal birth trauma for both mother and baby. As a best-selling author, Sharon shares her extensive knowledge in her books Heal Your Birth, Heal Your Life and co-author of Return to The Mother World: Ancient Feminine Wisdom in Times of Transition.

Sharon’s specialty is transforming your experience of giving birth or being born and any trauma associated with conception, pregnancy, and birth. She also works with mothers-to-be to achieve a natural birth, as well as infertility, IVF, adoption issues and healing the wounds of losing a baby.

Her training is extensive, with qualifications and experience in holistic healing modalities and creating her own; Heal Your Birth (formally known as Matrix Birth Reimprinting) and The Light Matrix techniques, for transforming ancestral patterns, past lives, discovering your life purpose and manifesting the life of your dreams.

Sharon is living on the beautiful island of Koh Phangan in Thailand and is hosting retreats and producing online programs for parents-to-be to achieve a conscious conception, pregnancy and birth, plus hosting new training programs for students.
Important Links / How to find you
*
Websites: www.magicalnewbeginnings.com & www.healyourbirthbook.com Email: sharon@magicalnewbeginnings.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/magicalnewbeginnings YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sharonking5861

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Parenting Teens Advice Redefined